Dear Family and Friends,
The highlight of the day was the trip to Kathryn's home on East 5th Street in Manhattan. Merwin had decided that I could not manage the train and subway and wanted to take me door to door, and indeed that's just what he did. We found a parking space exactly opposite Kathryn's front door. Once inside we greeted Antonio, visiting from Italy, Kathryn, of course, Jay and Barbara. Later Hedda and Meta arrived. Toby is in Hawaii, Joe had a family emergency, and Anna was busy with family in her new home. We ate and ate, drank and drank, and read our pieces to each other and enjoyed each other's company. Our group has been together for over 25 years.
My piece had two parts, and I'll share one with you. As Jay said, I took on Kathryn's sometimes acerbic voice, though I can hardly match her wit:
email etiquette
Having been the person who introduced the writing group to email several years ago, I think it is incumbent upon me to share with you my lecture on proper email etiquette to all and sundry on my list: please feel free to pass it on to those whose emails need some work:
1. When forwarding mail from others, for God's sake remove the trash, that is, the unnecessary routing information that accompanies the forwarded message. It's bad enough when the mail has been forwarded once, but often it is three or four times, with a mess of stuff to get through to find the message. Seldom does anyone need ALL the forwarding material—or any of it.
2. The subject line does serve a purpose: please use it. When I am searching for someone's message from the past, having a reference to the topic is a help. I don't know if others save email and find a need to go back to old messages, but this is a frequent need in my experience. Please change the subject line appropriately when you respond.
3. Please don't send me jokes, funny photos, or anything else what is cute, winsome, delightful! A subject line helps here, too: if it says “You'll love the humor!” or “This is so cute,” I understand right away that I can hit the delete key. I can tolerate the few that slip through my net, it's an open and shut case: open, see what it is, and discard. By the way, when you do send on these gems, pay attention to no. 1, above. What is more annoying than the cute pictures themselves is the trash one must get through (the multiple lists of recipients, in solid block paragraphs), revealing how often this particular collection has been forwarded, and forwarded, and forwarded.
4. Please do try to answer emails promptly when an answer is required. I know you are busy, but so often even one word is sufficient.
OK that's it, just 4 suggestions.
Since we went to NYC by car, we took the opportunity to bring a couple of large things to our NYC apartment, the framed "multiple me" photo that Dave made for his dad's birthday and one of the mirrors I have around the house, unused. Since legal parking was impossible at Bryant Park, Merwin parked illegally, dashed up with the 2 items while I stayed in the car, ready to be confronted by a policeman, but none ever came.
At home, we watched the News Hour, and I guess I could have remained supine for the rest of the evening, but instead I got up, found some good tasks to do for hamletworks.org and spent two fruitful hours. Had a nice chat with son Arthur, too, along the way. It's amazing to me how much my work energizes me.
A happy day: I hope you all have happy days in abundance in the New Year.
Love,
Bernice
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Busy day!
Dear Friends and Family,
The day started with a two-minute visit with the plastic surgeon, whose nurse removed my stitches. She and the doc declared that the site was just beautiful. I can't really see it; it's on my chest. Just as well. It's now bandaged for another two weeks, and then I'm done. The pathology report was excellent: clean margins. Well, that's a relief isn't it. Not that I was worried; once you have an opportunistic pneumonia, caused by the very meds you are taking to get better, you sort of let the little things slide by.
After that, Merwin took me to RSNS, our synagogue, where I do a little volunteer work, getting the newsletter into the mail (stuffing, labeling, stamping, etc). Eight of us today did the work: we chat, discuss movies and books and whatever else comes to mind. Then Joan Lehn and I went for lunch together, trying the pancakes at the newly-built enlarged diner on 25A. Very good.
Some work at the computer followed, then a movie, which we enjoyed very much: Almadóvar's Broken Embraces. We try to see every one of this genius' films, and appreciated this one as well as any other. On the way home from the Roslyn Theater, we recollected scenes from his other films, playing that "Do you remember?" game.
So a happy, busy day. May there be many like that in the lives of all of us.
Love to all,
Bernice
The day started with a two-minute visit with the plastic surgeon, whose nurse removed my stitches. She and the doc declared that the site was just beautiful. I can't really see it; it's on my chest. Just as well. It's now bandaged for another two weeks, and then I'm done. The pathology report was excellent: clean margins. Well, that's a relief isn't it. Not that I was worried; once you have an opportunistic pneumonia, caused by the very meds you are taking to get better, you sort of let the little things slide by.
After that, Merwin took me to RSNS, our synagogue, where I do a little volunteer work, getting the newsletter into the mail (stuffing, labeling, stamping, etc). Eight of us today did the work: we chat, discuss movies and books and whatever else comes to mind. Then Joan Lehn and I went for lunch together, trying the pancakes at the newly-built enlarged diner on 25A. Very good.
Some work at the computer followed, then a movie, which we enjoyed very much: Almadóvar's Broken Embraces. We try to see every one of this genius' films, and appreciated this one as well as any other. On the way home from the Roslyn Theater, we recollected scenes from his other films, playing that "Do you remember?" game.
So a happy, busy day. May there be many like that in the lives of all of us.
Love to all,
Bernice
Monday, December 28, 2009
Home alone
Dear friends and family,
Today was very quiet: I canceled the one appointment I had (with the PT) because, though my thumb hurts, I didn't feel up to going and being treated for about an hour. That feeling of lassitude left me eventually, so I was able to do some work on various projects. Laury came over to read aloud from the First Folio the remaining scenes of Measure for Measure while I checked her words with Kittredge's version on my screen. We decide whether to go with the folio or Kittredge, mostly the latter because this is, after all, the Focus Publications New Kittredge Edition we are editing. Still, Kittredge settled his text in the '30s, and much has happened in ideas about editing since then. Now that our text is settled, we can write the notes, secure that we are glossing a word actually in the version of the text as we edited it. Laury is so good: she will pop over for an hour or so, happy that we can accomplish anything in that short time.
I also took the time to write something light for my writing group meeting on Wednesday. I love looking forward to happy events like seeing my companions-in-writing. Kathryn has invited spouses for lunch, which will make things easy for Merwin and me, since he had decided he would drive me into Manhattan rather than let me go by train and subway and foot.
My weight continues to drop. I weigh over 10 lbs less than I did at age 13, a rather chunky age, I admit, but now I am at the lowest I have ever been. I am trying hard to eat as much as I can. My appetite is good. Every day I look at my "baby," my expansive spleen, wondering if the loss comes from its shrinkage, but, though I can pretend, it doesn't seem any smaller to Merwin. I know that weight loss is part of the "end game," but can that be when I feel so cheerful and well? Especially after the prednisone kicks in. "The readiness is all."
I am delighted that I can breathe all right. On Saturday son Harvey had Amazon.com send me oxygen meter, which arrived today. It's battery run and very small. I stick my finger in the clothes-pin-like opening, and it tells me the number. It was 96 today, which is very good. I don't intend to compulsively keep on checking my oxygen saturation, but if I am breathless, I will want to know if it's below 93.
No cooking or shopping today for food: we have plenty of leftovers from the last several days with company. The spinach pie is good reheated or not. There is still enough for one meal for me for tomorrow, but Merwin will want a change.
More tomorrow,
Love to all,
Bernice
Today was very quiet: I canceled the one appointment I had (with the PT) because, though my thumb hurts, I didn't feel up to going and being treated for about an hour. That feeling of lassitude left me eventually, so I was able to do some work on various projects. Laury came over to read aloud from the First Folio the remaining scenes of Measure for Measure while I checked her words with Kittredge's version on my screen. We decide whether to go with the folio or Kittredge, mostly the latter because this is, after all, the Focus Publications New Kittredge Edition we are editing. Still, Kittredge settled his text in the '30s, and much has happened in ideas about editing since then. Now that our text is settled, we can write the notes, secure that we are glossing a word actually in the version of the text as we edited it. Laury is so good: she will pop over for an hour or so, happy that we can accomplish anything in that short time.
I also took the time to write something light for my writing group meeting on Wednesday. I love looking forward to happy events like seeing my companions-in-writing. Kathryn has invited spouses for lunch, which will make things easy for Merwin and me, since he had decided he would drive me into Manhattan rather than let me go by train and subway and foot.
My weight continues to drop. I weigh over 10 lbs less than I did at age 13, a rather chunky age, I admit, but now I am at the lowest I have ever been. I am trying hard to eat as much as I can. My appetite is good. Every day I look at my "baby," my expansive spleen, wondering if the loss comes from its shrinkage, but, though I can pretend, it doesn't seem any smaller to Merwin. I know that weight loss is part of the "end game," but can that be when I feel so cheerful and well? Especially after the prednisone kicks in. "The readiness is all."
I am delighted that I can breathe all right. On Saturday son Harvey had Amazon.com send me oxygen meter, which arrived today. It's battery run and very small. I stick my finger in the clothes-pin-like opening, and it tells me the number. It was 96 today, which is very good. I don't intend to compulsively keep on checking my oxygen saturation, but if I am breathless, I will want to know if it's below 93.
No cooking or shopping today for food: we have plenty of leftovers from the last several days with company. The spinach pie is good reheated or not. There is still enough for one meal for me for tomorrow, but Merwin will want a change.
More tomorrow,
Love to all,
Bernice
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Nothing much new
Dear Family and Friends,
My first thought this morning was "I wonder if I could go to the gym for an exercise class tomorrow morning"? Merwin says "no," not until I am off the antibiotics in about 2 weeks. It's a chore remembering to take this every 6 hours around the clock.
The weekend went well with Sandy arriving from CT on Friday for Merwin's birthday, Dave and Lincoln popping in, Arthur and Debbie phoning with their good wishes and news, and Harvey staying all week long to make sure all went well (which is amazing considering how busy he is and how much he has to do). I am touched by the devotion that comes my way. We went out for dinner last night at Sherwood's, the fusion restaurant close by. I had my absolute favorite, ginger soup, from the Thai menu. It's the only vegetarian soup Sherwood's makes, and it is fabulous. Besides, ginger is supposed to be good for people with compromised immune systems.
I am feeling pretty good at the moment, having just had my nails done, hands and feet both, at a little shop in Glen Head. Not much English there, so I got a somewhat fuller treatment than I really wanted. Earlier, I watched an old movie, "The Enchanted Cottage," and found it somewhat hokey of course but charming in its own way—and true, too. Attitude and belief are everything.
Also, I am confident that the meds I am taking are fighting the opportunistic pneumonia that left me breathless a week ago.
I even did a little work (and plan to do more); some on hamletworks, and some on Measure for Measure. And I can smile because Merwin has promised me that one way or another, even if he has to drive me to the City, he will get me to my writing group meeting at Kathryn's.
The day has been lovely, now darkening, and I am happy to be home, alone with Merwin. Company is wonderful too of course, but sometimes quiet times are welcome.
Love to all,
Bernice
My first thought this morning was "I wonder if I could go to the gym for an exercise class tomorrow morning"? Merwin says "no," not until I am off the antibiotics in about 2 weeks. It's a chore remembering to take this every 6 hours around the clock.
The weekend went well with Sandy arriving from CT on Friday for Merwin's birthday, Dave and Lincoln popping in, Arthur and Debbie phoning with their good wishes and news, and Harvey staying all week long to make sure all went well (which is amazing considering how busy he is and how much he has to do). I am touched by the devotion that comes my way. We went out for dinner last night at Sherwood's, the fusion restaurant close by. I had my absolute favorite, ginger soup, from the Thai menu. It's the only vegetarian soup Sherwood's makes, and it is fabulous. Besides, ginger is supposed to be good for people with compromised immune systems.
I am feeling pretty good at the moment, having just had my nails done, hands and feet both, at a little shop in Glen Head. Not much English there, so I got a somewhat fuller treatment than I really wanted. Earlier, I watched an old movie, "The Enchanted Cottage," and found it somewhat hokey of course but charming in its own way—and true, too. Attitude and belief are everything.
Also, I am confident that the meds I am taking are fighting the opportunistic pneumonia that left me breathless a week ago.
I even did a little work (and plan to do more); some on hamletworks, and some on Measure for Measure. And I can smile because Merwin has promised me that one way or another, even if he has to drive me to the City, he will get me to my writing group meeting at Kathryn's.
The day has been lovely, now darkening, and I am happy to be home, alone with Merwin. Company is wonderful too of course, but sometimes quiet times are welcome.
Love to all,
Bernice
Friday, December 25, 2009
A lovely day
Dear Friends and Family,
Merry Christmas to all, now almost at its conclusion for another year. I hope your day was as pleasant as ours was here, with three of our sons and one lovely daughter-in-law, and a phone call from the fourth son and his darling wife. The spinach pie, made correctly (except for absence of pepper because Harvey does not tolerate it well) by Harvey under my direction, the string beans, and the curry-potatoes pleased almost everyone. Sandy made and brought with her from CT (whence she drove this morning alone, Harvey already being here to spend four days with us while I was in the hospital) an orange-flavored cake with thick chocolate icing for the birthday boy (who loves those flavors), and delicious spaghetti squash for supper. A good time was had by all.
My energy level is low, probably a symptom of low oxygenation. So I spent a lot of time sitting and being waited on or lying down to rest.
A highlight of the day was a phone call from our Pittsburgh friend Dave Segel, who suffered a terrible concussion a few months ago, to wish Merwin a happy birthday (for seven months Merwin in a year older than I am). To hear Dave speak, if haltingly at times, was a thrill. He just recently became able to do some email and still has trouble reading. So slowly, slowly he is improving. His wife, Betty, also spoke to us. She sounds tired, as well she might be. Thank goodness she has lots of family support.
With a late lunch and then cake about 4:00, no one was interested in supper except me. I made myself a repeat performance of spinach pie, string beans, and curry potatoes, plus spaghetti squash. Sandy joined me and used the string beans as a sauce over the squash. Recipes follow for those interested.
Here is the recipe for spaghetti squash.
Cut squash in half and place cut side down in microwave. Micro for 15 minutes till it is done (soft).
Using the tines of a fork, separate the strands of squash into spaghetti-like threads. Add butter and seasoning of your choice. She used one from Trader Joe, lemon-pepper in a grinder bottle. Wow, tasty.
I also had time to sit with Lincoln and get the lowdown on Nana's date nut bread. I have the version she wrote for me on a typical 3 x 5 card. Lincoln worked with her to make the loaves:
Use I C chopped dates or more. Seed, cut off hard ends, place in strainer, dip into 1 and 1/2 C very hot water (teakettle should whistle before you pour the water into a 2 C measure), a spoonful at a time, to soften them and make them easier to cut.
Cut dates in half and remove seeds to strainer. Dip knife in hot water to get rid of stickiness. Pour hot water over the seeds (in strainer over the bowl with prepared dates) to capture all the attached sugars.
Add to the dates and liquid in the bowl, 1 egg, 2 T oil.
Add the wet to the dry ingredients. Mix in 1 and 1/2 C chopped nuts
Mix well but do not over mix.
Put batter in one greased loaf pan or in two small greased loaf pans.
Bake 50-60 minutes if using one pan; 40-50 min for small pan. Press top lightly to test for doneness. The toothpick method doesn't work because the mixture is moist.
Enjoy!
Merry Christmas to all, now almost at its conclusion for another year. I hope your day was as pleasant as ours was here, with three of our sons and one lovely daughter-in-law, and a phone call from the fourth son and his darling wife. The spinach pie, made correctly (except for absence of pepper because Harvey does not tolerate it well) by Harvey under my direction, the string beans, and the curry-potatoes pleased almost everyone. Sandy made and brought with her from CT (whence she drove this morning alone, Harvey already being here to spend four days with us while I was in the hospital) an orange-flavored cake with thick chocolate icing for the birthday boy (who loves those flavors), and delicious spaghetti squash for supper. A good time was had by all.
My energy level is low, probably a symptom of low oxygenation. So I spent a lot of time sitting and being waited on or lying down to rest.
A highlight of the day was a phone call from our Pittsburgh friend Dave Segel, who suffered a terrible concussion a few months ago, to wish Merwin a happy birthday (for seven months Merwin in a year older than I am). To hear Dave speak, if haltingly at times, was a thrill. He just recently became able to do some email and still has trouble reading. So slowly, slowly he is improving. His wife, Betty, also spoke to us. She sounds tired, as well she might be. Thank goodness she has lots of family support.
With a late lunch and then cake about 4:00, no one was interested in supper except me. I made myself a repeat performance of spinach pie, string beans, and curry potatoes, plus spaghetti squash. Sandy joined me and used the string beans as a sauce over the squash. Recipes follow for those interested.
Here is the recipe for spaghetti squash.
Cut squash in half and place cut side down in microwave. Micro for 15 minutes till it is done (soft).
Using the tines of a fork, separate the strands of squash into spaghetti-like threads. Add butter and seasoning of your choice. She used one from Trader Joe, lemon-pepper in a grinder bottle. Wow, tasty.
I also had time to sit with Lincoln and get the lowdown on Nana's date nut bread. I have the version she wrote for me on a typical 3 x 5 card. Lincoln worked with her to make the loaves:
Use I C chopped dates or more. Seed, cut off hard ends, place in strainer, dip into 1 and 1/2 C very hot water (teakettle should whistle before you pour the water into a 2 C measure), a spoonful at a time, to soften them and make them easier to cut.
Cut dates in half and remove seeds to strainer. Dip knife in hot water to get rid of stickiness. Pour hot water over the seeds (in strainer over the bowl with prepared dates) to capture all the attached sugars.
Add to the dates and liquid in the bowl, 1 egg, 2 T oil.
Add the wet to the dry ingredients. Mix in 1 and 1/2 C chopped nuts
Mix well but do not over mix.
Put batter in one greased loaf pan or in two small greased loaf pans.
Bake 50-60 minutes if using one pan; 40-50 min for small pan. Press top lightly to test for doneness. The toothpick method doesn't work because the mixture is moist.
Enjoy!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Home, safe and sound
Dear friends and family,
I wanted to title this blog "All's Well That Ends Well," but that seems rather hokey, doesn't it. The biopsy of my lungs was reasonably successful in getting examinable tissue, and the verdict is NOT the horrid BOOP or other conditions that require many months of treatment. What I have seems to be a pneumonia, which people with suppressed immune systems like me can get. It's treatable with an antibiotic, which I got through I.V. from Sunday through today noon, and I will continue this for several days. So that's enough about that: I went from not being able to breathe, to free breathing today. The pneumonia is not gone, so there is still a residual breathlessness.
But I am happy. I lucked out in that we decided because of the snow to change plans and go directly to Glen Head on Sat. evening after a terrific Loves Labors Lost in NYC. That was the good part, because what would we have done if I had had to find some NYC hospital in the middle of the night, especially since all my doctors are at North Shore on LI? Of course with all the snow getting to the ER on Sunday was not easy, and it took the whole day for me to get from a close-by hospital to the ones our doctors use.
What was good: excellent care, totally responsive physicians in all three areas: general med, hematology, pulmonary.
I lucked out in getting a room with a view of a gorgeous stand of trees, mostly bare but with tiny leaves on some branches. These are remnants of the Whitney Estate, evidently. The Whitneys donated money and land for the hospital, and a condition was that a portion of profits be spent on maintaining the remaining Whitney land. Lovely play of light on this dense stand of trees.
The support of family is great. Harvey came as soon as he could, and being a doctor himself, he can communicate well with all the people involved, including the pathologist and radiologist. Lincoln and Dave were around, and Arthur phoned several times a day. I like my Dr. Janus, the pulmonologist, a mother of three girls. Dr. Uppal, from the hematology office, was very warm, helpful, and knowledgeable. My regular hem is on vacation. Our internist and one of his hospital-based doctors came every day, and watched over the whole process.
But enough of that stuff. What am I fantasizing about while I am getting better in the hospital? Greek style string beans, curried potatoes, and spinach pie! That's our main meal for tomorrow for Merwin's birthday. So the 1st thing I did at home was throw a chicken in the oven for the men's supper tonight and begin the process of making those special dishes. I have Harvey helping with slicing and such, and I am taking it easy. The breathing is breathy, but at least I can breathe!
More on other topics soon,
Love to all,
Bernice
I wanted to title this blog "All's Well That Ends Well," but that seems rather hokey, doesn't it. The biopsy of my lungs was reasonably successful in getting examinable tissue, and the verdict is NOT the horrid BOOP or other conditions that require many months of treatment. What I have seems to be a pneumonia, which people with suppressed immune systems like me can get. It's treatable with an antibiotic, which I got through I.V. from Sunday through today noon, and I will continue this for several days. So that's enough about that: I went from not being able to breathe, to free breathing today. The pneumonia is not gone, so there is still a residual breathlessness.
But I am happy. I lucked out in that we decided because of the snow to change plans and go directly to Glen Head on Sat. evening after a terrific Loves Labors Lost in NYC. That was the good part, because what would we have done if I had had to find some NYC hospital in the middle of the night, especially since all my doctors are at North Shore on LI? Of course with all the snow getting to the ER on Sunday was not easy, and it took the whole day for me to get from a close-by hospital to the ones our doctors use.
What was good: excellent care, totally responsive physicians in all three areas: general med, hematology, pulmonary.
I lucked out in getting a room with a view of a gorgeous stand of trees, mostly bare but with tiny leaves on some branches. These are remnants of the Whitney Estate, evidently. The Whitneys donated money and land for the hospital, and a condition was that a portion of profits be spent on maintaining the remaining Whitney land. Lovely play of light on this dense stand of trees.
The support of family is great. Harvey came as soon as he could, and being a doctor himself, he can communicate well with all the people involved, including the pathologist and radiologist. Lincoln and Dave were around, and Arthur phoned several times a day. I like my Dr. Janus, the pulmonologist, a mother of three girls. Dr. Uppal, from the hematology office, was very warm, helpful, and knowledgeable. My regular hem is on vacation. Our internist and one of his hospital-based doctors came every day, and watched over the whole process.
But enough of that stuff. What am I fantasizing about while I am getting better in the hospital? Greek style string beans, curried potatoes, and spinach pie! That's our main meal for tomorrow for Merwin's birthday. So the 1st thing I did at home was throw a chicken in the oven for the men's supper tonight and begin the process of making those special dishes. I have Harvey helping with slicing and such, and I am taking it easy. The breathing is breathy, but at least I can breathe!
More on other topics soon,
Love to all,
Bernice
Friday, December 18, 2009
Slow Day
Dear Friends and family,
Today was a bit of a lost day. I decided that I could shop or SPIN, not both, so early this morning I hustled over to North Shore Farms supermarket, where I got almost everything I need for the visitors coming on Merwin's birthday, Dec. 25th, mainly Harvey and Sandy. What a joy to shop there because the food is so fresh and enticing, from fruit and vegetables to cheeses. Hardly any shoppers were there at that hour (7:30 a.m.) except the workers very busily unloading, arranging, stacking.
The menu for the 25th will be a few old favorites: curried potatoes, Greek string beans,and the new favorite, Spinach Pie, this time made with the right cheeses and the flavorful, fully grown spinach if I can get it next week. Sandy will no doubt bring a birthday cake of her own making.
Laury and I were able to work for perhaps an hour this morning on Measure for Measure, and then we were interrupted by a call to return to the hem's office for a further blood test—on clotting factor. In and out quickly was the word and hurry over. So after an hour's wait in the office, it's true the blood draw itself was a quicky. Then over to the pulmonologist's office to get all the directions for the bronchoscopy on Tues.
At home, I made a delicious lunch with largess from North Shore Farms: avocado sandwiches, on their flattish crisp chiabatta rolls. Directions: cut up the avocado meat by scoring the flesh in each half with a knife and spooning it out of the shell in small chunks; mix with a little finely chopped celery and scallion; spread filling on a roll, sprinkle with grated cheese, sprinkle on a few pine nuts, and I added a few basil leaves on mine, and a little mayo on his bread. Delicious, fast, easy, nutritious.
Then there was a long nap before readying myself for the party tonight at the Martins' home around the corner from us: last night of Hanuka. What a pleasure to have friends who also happen to be neighbors.
Tomorrow we leave early for a long weekend in the City: lunch with granddaughter Michelle, then Loves Labors Lost with Evelyn and Harris, followed by an early dinner with them and then home to #32 to watch the skaters in Bryant Park from our 4th-floor window. The next day Harvey will train down from New Haven and spend the day in the City with us. Dawn (former student a long time ago; virtual granddaughter; colleague in literature) may join us at some point; she leaves for an intersession trip to Hawaii soon, and we want to see each other. The following day, I am hoping to get in some NYPL time, but the main feature is an early party at the McLartys' lovely apartment off Central Park West: Kate has recently returned from an acting stint with the Shakespeare Co. in DC, and her photos show a wonderful vibrancy in a Ben Jonson play, and Ron has published a talking book: I can't wait to listen to it. It's called The Dropper. Then an early train home that evening to get ready for the next day and the biopsy in the morning.
So I have brought myself and you up to date: if all the above happens as planned, it should be a happy time.
I may not check in, then, till Tuesday night, after the biopsy. I hope you all keep well and happy during that time.
With love, affection, and all sorts of good feelings that warm my heart just knowing you are there at times, listening to me.
Love,
Bernice
Today was a bit of a lost day. I decided that I could shop or SPIN, not both, so early this morning I hustled over to North Shore Farms supermarket, where I got almost everything I need for the visitors coming on Merwin's birthday, Dec. 25th, mainly Harvey and Sandy. What a joy to shop there because the food is so fresh and enticing, from fruit and vegetables to cheeses. Hardly any shoppers were there at that hour (7:30 a.m.) except the workers very busily unloading, arranging, stacking.
The menu for the 25th will be a few old favorites: curried potatoes, Greek string beans,and the new favorite, Spinach Pie, this time made with the right cheeses and the flavorful, fully grown spinach if I can get it next week. Sandy will no doubt bring a birthday cake of her own making.
Laury and I were able to work for perhaps an hour this morning on Measure for Measure, and then we were interrupted by a call to return to the hem's office for a further blood test—on clotting factor. In and out quickly was the word and hurry over. So after an hour's wait in the office, it's true the blood draw itself was a quicky. Then over to the pulmonologist's office to get all the directions for the bronchoscopy on Tues.
At home, I made a delicious lunch with largess from North Shore Farms: avocado sandwiches, on their flattish crisp chiabatta rolls. Directions: cut up the avocado meat by scoring the flesh in each half with a knife and spooning it out of the shell in small chunks; mix with a little finely chopped celery and scallion; spread filling on a roll, sprinkle with grated cheese, sprinkle on a few pine nuts, and I added a few basil leaves on mine, and a little mayo on his bread. Delicious, fast, easy, nutritious.
Then there was a long nap before readying myself for the party tonight at the Martins' home around the corner from us: last night of Hanuka. What a pleasure to have friends who also happen to be neighbors.
Tomorrow we leave early for a long weekend in the City: lunch with granddaughter Michelle, then Loves Labors Lost with Evelyn and Harris, followed by an early dinner with them and then home to #32 to watch the skaters in Bryant Park from our 4th-floor window. The next day Harvey will train down from New Haven and spend the day in the City with us. Dawn (former student a long time ago; virtual granddaughter; colleague in literature) may join us at some point; she leaves for an intersession trip to Hawaii soon, and we want to see each other. The following day, I am hoping to get in some NYPL time, but the main feature is an early party at the McLartys' lovely apartment off Central Park West: Kate has recently returned from an acting stint with the Shakespeare Co. in DC, and her photos show a wonderful vibrancy in a Ben Jonson play, and Ron has published a talking book: I can't wait to listen to it. It's called The Dropper. Then an early train home that evening to get ready for the next day and the biopsy in the morning.
So I have brought myself and you up to date: if all the above happens as planned, it should be a happy time.
I may not check in, then, till Tuesday night, after the biopsy. I hope you all keep well and happy during that time.
With love, affection, and all sorts of good feelings that warm my heart just knowing you are there at times, listening to me.
Love,
Bernice
Answers, perhaps
Dear All,
Today I spoke to my hem, Dr. K, and the pulmonologist, Dr. Janus, and was reassured. This is my take on the situation now. I will go in for the biopsy on Tues and am confident I can also go to the theater on Wed. with Merwin, Florence and Elaine. The doctors will discover whether or not I have BOOP (If you're curious, Google "Boop disease"), which is the guess, I would call it. This is what one Yale pulmonolgist wrote to Harvey, our son who is at Yale in the OB/Gyn dept.:
Your mother certainly could have BOOP. Both the interferon and the thalidomide
have been reported to cause a BOOP-like drug reaction and it could be that it
is flaring with the prednisone taper. However, I'd also worry about infection
in a person with MDS and ongoing prednisone use. Some infections (like PCP)
can look like ground glass and can flare with prednisone taper. Probably at
least a bronchoscopy is warranted, if your mom can tolerate it.
My hem says I can tolerate it because my platelets are up and my WBC is down, though still very high. The follow up CT-Scan will be on Jan 7.
In the meantime, without the Pegasys and without the thalidomide, I am obviously feeling much better. Today was a normal day, with one short nap. Spin class, work, conversations, meals, the usual stuff. I prepared a whole lot of work for the grad student who helps me and accomplished other assorted tasks, including a little work on Measure for Measure; had a good session with the physical therapist for my right thumb, and am feeling more confident about the future.
I made the last and best batch of potato pancakes for lunch today. Tomorrow, we go to Florence's for her pancake party. That will be it for latkes until next year.
The love and support that flows from family and friends is bracing and therapeutic.
Love back at you,
Bernice
Today I spoke to my hem, Dr. K, and the pulmonologist, Dr. Janus, and was reassured. This is my take on the situation now. I will go in for the biopsy on Tues and am confident I can also go to the theater on Wed. with Merwin, Florence and Elaine. The doctors will discover whether or not I have BOOP (If you're curious, Google "Boop disease"), which is the guess, I would call it. This is what one Yale pulmonolgist wrote to Harvey, our son who is at Yale in the OB/Gyn dept.:
Your mother certainly could have BOOP. Both the interferon and the thalidomide
have been reported to cause a BOOP-like drug reaction and it could be that it
is flaring with the prednisone taper. However, I'd also worry about infection
in a person with MDS and ongoing prednisone use. Some infections (like PCP)
can look like ground glass and can flare with prednisone taper. Probably at
least a bronchoscopy is warranted, if your mom can tolerate it.
My hem says I can tolerate it because my platelets are up and my WBC is down, though still very high. The follow up CT-Scan will be on Jan 7.
In the meantime, without the Pegasys and without the thalidomide, I am obviously feeling much better. Today was a normal day, with one short nap. Spin class, work, conversations, meals, the usual stuff. I prepared a whole lot of work for the grad student who helps me and accomplished other assorted tasks, including a little work on Measure for Measure; had a good session with the physical therapist for my right thumb, and am feeling more confident about the future.
I made the last and best batch of potato pancakes for lunch today. Tomorrow, we go to Florence's for her pancake party. That will be it for latkes until next year.
The love and support that flows from family and friends is bracing and therapeutic.
Love back at you,
Bernice
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Questions, questions
Dear Friends,
I am uneasy about the biopsy of the “ground glass intrusions” in my lungs, which may be a result of the Pegasys I took for 7 months without any ameliorating results on my spleen. These intrusions are called Cryptogenic Organizing Pneumonia. Sounds worse than it is, I think. Anyway, I am scheduled for a 2nd CT-scan on Feb 7. And that's only about 2 weeks away. Would it be wise to wait to see if the intrusions are diminishing? I have been off Pegasys since July. I guess what they want to do is try to find out what it is now and then load me with steroids (prednisone probably) to get rid of them, and then have the CT-scan. One person who has experienced this whole thing told me about the outcome for her. The steroids worked. Unfortunaetly for her, the Pegasys, which caused the intrusions, was working for her p.vera, but she can no longer take it. By the way, there are others on the MPD list for whom Pegasys has worked to help them to normal lives, but their insurance refuses to continue paying for it. This is why we need health reform.
Anyway, the good news is that day by day, I am feeling more like myself because the thalidomide is getting out of my system and I am taking less prednisone. Tuesday and Wednesday have been days without much fatigue. And I know I am lucky, too, because my main symptom IS fatigue, and I have no pain as so many with cancer do. The horrendous itching that comes to some with p.vera is under control with UVB treatments and antihistamines. So I am comfortable, except for this humungus spleen.
Today Merwin and I attended the funeral service for Arnie Silverman, a professor at NCC whom I had known for about 30 years. He was a special guy, with a constant pun or quip or pointed remark about this or that political or college issue, always with a smile to soften any perceived blow. When we organized the active learning seminars for faculty, I recall that Arnie was a fetching Lady Macbeth in a kerchief in one of our impromptu acting-out activities by faculty participants to model what we wanted students to do. We were cross-disciplinary, so I led a Shakespeare session, of course. Arnie as a sociology teacher led a session on the reactions to varying reactions to illness by ethnic groups. He invited me to sit in on one of his lively classes where he had students write about their experience with illness in the family and their perception of the way ill people from their set, shall we say, reacted to the illness. The students shared their perceptions and learned to think about such issues. Many more memories of Arnie and his wife Ruth, also at NCC. Merwin and I saw them at a synagogue dinner just about 2 weeks ago, chatted briefly, and of course now regret we didn't talk at length. He had a heart condition, but I never thought he would go before me.
Otherwise today it was potato pancakes for breakfast, with the fantastic apple sauce that my friend Louise made for me--without sugar but so sweet and delicious, from a special apple without a name from a Vermont orchard. She dashed into my JCC exercise class to drop it off this morning.
I finished quite a lot of Hamlet work today also, and that always feels good. Tomorrow I will try to decide what to do about the biopsy: probably go for it, I suppose. Now I better get to sleep! I need to go to the 6:30 a.m. spin class because we are trying to keep it alive. We need 10 participants.
Love to all,
Bernice
I am uneasy about the biopsy of the “ground glass intrusions” in my lungs, which may be a result of the Pegasys I took for 7 months without any ameliorating results on my spleen. These intrusions are called Cryptogenic Organizing Pneumonia. Sounds worse than it is, I think. Anyway, I am scheduled for a 2nd CT-scan on Feb 7. And that's only about 2 weeks away. Would it be wise to wait to see if the intrusions are diminishing? I have been off Pegasys since July. I guess what they want to do is try to find out what it is now and then load me with steroids (prednisone probably) to get rid of them, and then have the CT-scan. One person who has experienced this whole thing told me about the outcome for her. The steroids worked. Unfortunaetly for her, the Pegasys, which caused the intrusions, was working for her p.vera, but she can no longer take it. By the way, there are others on the MPD list for whom Pegasys has worked to help them to normal lives, but their insurance refuses to continue paying for it. This is why we need health reform.
Anyway, the good news is that day by day, I am feeling more like myself because the thalidomide is getting out of my system and I am taking less prednisone. Tuesday and Wednesday have been days without much fatigue. And I know I am lucky, too, because my main symptom IS fatigue, and I have no pain as so many with cancer do. The horrendous itching that comes to some with p.vera is under control with UVB treatments and antihistamines. So I am comfortable, except for this humungus spleen.
Today Merwin and I attended the funeral service for Arnie Silverman, a professor at NCC whom I had known for about 30 years. He was a special guy, with a constant pun or quip or pointed remark about this or that political or college issue, always with a smile to soften any perceived blow. When we organized the active learning seminars for faculty, I recall that Arnie was a fetching Lady Macbeth in a kerchief in one of our impromptu acting-out activities by faculty participants to model what we wanted students to do. We were cross-disciplinary, so I led a Shakespeare session, of course. Arnie as a sociology teacher led a session on the reactions to varying reactions to illness by ethnic groups. He invited me to sit in on one of his lively classes where he had students write about their experience with illness in the family and their perception of the way ill people from their set, shall we say, reacted to the illness. The students shared their perceptions and learned to think about such issues. Many more memories of Arnie and his wife Ruth, also at NCC. Merwin and I saw them at a synagogue dinner just about 2 weeks ago, chatted briefly, and of course now regret we didn't talk at length. He had a heart condition, but I never thought he would go before me.
Otherwise today it was potato pancakes for breakfast, with the fantastic apple sauce that my friend Louise made for me--without sugar but so sweet and delicious, from a special apple without a name from a Vermont orchard. She dashed into my JCC exercise class to drop it off this morning.
I finished quite a lot of Hamlet work today also, and that always feels good. Tomorrow I will try to decide what to do about the biopsy: probably go for it, I suppose. Now I better get to sleep! I need to go to the 6:30 a.m. spin class because we are trying to keep it alive. We need 10 participants.
Love to all,
Bernice
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Lots of doctors
Dear Friends and Family,
We continue to wonder what's happening with my lungs. The good news is that Dr. Raza from St. Vincet's CCC called today to say she was pleased that my platelet count had gone up, and she would like me to come in to see if I could get into the Incyte trial soon. Of course, the lung issues have to be resolved. So it's doctor after doctor. It was so good to hear from Dr. Raza, who loves Shakespeare. We went to the hem, who was delighted that my platelets had gone up to 113. This puts me in a good position for the incyte trial, if only this high will hold. My hem, Dr. Kurzyna, had consulted with Dr. Janus, and had convinced her that I should a biopsy while my platelets were in decent number. Then next month, I'll ahve another CT-scan. And so it goes! Dr. Janus also phoned late in the day to tell me to stop all aspirins. She will consult with my internist about that. Wow, can you just see it? All these wonderful minds and good people focusing on my condition.
In the meantime, though, I am feeling pretty good. The energy level is better than usual. I took a couple of short naps, but otherwise, when I wasn't doctoring, I was working on Shakespeare. Laury and I spent a productive 90 minutes working on Measure of Measure, delighting in the challenges of this wonderful play. I did some New Variorum Hamlet work as well: my resignation takes effect on 1 Jan. 2010. Until then, I am the coordinator. A great variety of things to do and think about.
Tonight, Dave came over for the Hanukah candle lighting and brought his dad a wonderful present, the best success Dave has ever had in pleasing his dad with a present. Ah-hem.
A photo montage of me in my study, nine of me! working at the computer, sitting and talking to other versions of me, consulting the folio, etc. Click here for the original photo in various sizes.
And of course I must not forget potato pancakes. I tried the carrot addition. It was good but probably I should use just a small percentage of carrot. EP, did your grandmother add one carrot per 12 potatoes? I did one for one. Believe it or not, I plan to make more latkes tomorrow if I can.
In spite of ominous things in my lungs, I am feeling very good about this moment and hanging onto it, rejoicing in family, friends, work, caring doctors, and all the rest of the goodness than envelops me—not the least of which is talking to all of you who are following my blog.
Love to all,
Bernice
We continue to wonder what's happening with my lungs. The good news is that Dr. Raza from St. Vincet's CCC called today to say she was pleased that my platelet count had gone up, and she would like me to come in to see if I could get into the Incyte trial soon. Of course, the lung issues have to be resolved. So it's doctor after doctor. It was so good to hear from Dr. Raza, who loves Shakespeare. We went to the hem, who was delighted that my platelets had gone up to 113. This puts me in a good position for the incyte trial, if only this high will hold. My hem, Dr. Kurzyna, had consulted with Dr. Janus, and had convinced her that I should a biopsy while my platelets were in decent number. Then next month, I'll ahve another CT-scan. And so it goes! Dr. Janus also phoned late in the day to tell me to stop all aspirins. She will consult with my internist about that. Wow, can you just see it? All these wonderful minds and good people focusing on my condition.
In the meantime, though, I am feeling pretty good. The energy level is better than usual. I took a couple of short naps, but otherwise, when I wasn't doctoring, I was working on Shakespeare. Laury and I spent a productive 90 minutes working on Measure of Measure, delighting in the challenges of this wonderful play. I did some New Variorum Hamlet work as well: my resignation takes effect on 1 Jan. 2010. Until then, I am the coordinator. A great variety of things to do and think about.
Tonight, Dave came over for the Hanukah candle lighting and brought his dad a wonderful present, the best success Dave has ever had in pleasing his dad with a present. Ah-hem.
A photo montage of me in my study, nine of me! working at the computer, sitting and talking to other versions of me, consulting the folio, etc. Click here for the original photo in various sizes.
And of course I must not forget potato pancakes. I tried the carrot addition. It was good but probably I should use just a small percentage of carrot. EP, did your grandmother add one carrot per 12 potatoes? I did one for one. Believe it or not, I plan to make more latkes tomorrow if I can.
In spite of ominous things in my lungs, I am feeling very good about this moment and hanging onto it, rejoicing in family, friends, work, caring doctors, and all the rest of the goodness than envelops me—not the least of which is talking to all of you who are following my blog.
Love to all,
Bernice
Monday, December 14, 2009
A mystery
Dear friends and family.
Like yesterday and the past few days, mid-day has been slump time. I can deal with that: it makes me free for the early morning and the evening, and I can minimize what I do around noon. And I am planning a lot for evenings—parties, theater, visits from family. Even if I have to renege at times, it makes me feel good to have a full calendar. I plan to have fun.
I continue to work on a 1938 edition for hamletworks.org, and it is especially intriguing to me because the two editors usually use one word to explain a Shakespearean word. No wordy paragraphs there. As one who is planning an edition of Measure for Measure with notes, I wonder how concise Laury and I can be. Since it's evening, I feel energy enough to say that I do plan to sign the book contract. I better do it before mid-day tomorrow! Actually, fatigue time can change easily to another time of day, but I will swing with it, whatever it is.
The big news of the day was the visit to the pulmonary specialist. Voilá, a mystery condition. I have things in my lungs, strange pillowy shapes that have the surface look of ground glass. The Dr. is going to try to figure it out with the help of other specialists: caused by p. vera? by the meds? something else entirely? The shapes are not near where the spleen is impinging on the lungs. The neat thing is that the Imagining Center gave us a CD of the scan. I regret that we didn't have a tape recorder because the doc mentioned so many possibilities. I can't have a biopsy because my platelets are so low. For me that's a plus, actually. We wait a month for a second scan, Jan. 7th, and see if there is any change. In the meantime, scientists will confer to work it out. I leave myself in their capable hands. Of course, we relayed as much of this as we could to our son Harvey, who is at Yale (OB dept.). A friend of his is a pulmonary specialist there. And Sandy, our daughter-in-law, is the business head of the radiology dept. there. We will wait and see if we need to call in any specialists. Right now Shakespeare, recipes, family and friends are more fun to think about.
I didn't get a chance to try more potato pancakes tonight because Merwin wanted his favorite egg dish, a Winnie-the-Pooh, or egg in a hole or whatever it's called. What do you call it? I have added some grace notes:veggie bacon, grated cheese. He's in heaven; a man of simple pleasures. I want to try carrots grated in the latke mix: this is what EH's grandmother always did (as he wrote in an email today). I also forgot to mention that I never peel the potatoes before grating them. Just remove the deep eyes. Yukon gold potatoes work very well because they don't seem to oxidize as readily as other potatoes.
Love to all,
Bernice
Like yesterday and the past few days, mid-day has been slump time. I can deal with that: it makes me free for the early morning and the evening, and I can minimize what I do around noon. And I am planning a lot for evenings—parties, theater, visits from family. Even if I have to renege at times, it makes me feel good to have a full calendar. I plan to have fun.
I continue to work on a 1938 edition for hamletworks.org, and it is especially intriguing to me because the two editors usually use one word to explain a Shakespearean word. No wordy paragraphs there. As one who is planning an edition of Measure for Measure with notes, I wonder how concise Laury and I can be. Since it's evening, I feel energy enough to say that I do plan to sign the book contract. I better do it before mid-day tomorrow! Actually, fatigue time can change easily to another time of day, but I will swing with it, whatever it is.
The big news of the day was the visit to the pulmonary specialist. Voilá, a mystery condition. I have things in my lungs, strange pillowy shapes that have the surface look of ground glass. The Dr. is going to try to figure it out with the help of other specialists: caused by p. vera? by the meds? something else entirely? The shapes are not near where the spleen is impinging on the lungs. The neat thing is that the Imagining Center gave us a CD of the scan. I regret that we didn't have a tape recorder because the doc mentioned so many possibilities. I can't have a biopsy because my platelets are so low. For me that's a plus, actually. We wait a month for a second scan, Jan. 7th, and see if there is any change. In the meantime, scientists will confer to work it out. I leave myself in their capable hands. Of course, we relayed as much of this as we could to our son Harvey, who is at Yale (OB dept.). A friend of his is a pulmonary specialist there. And Sandy, our daughter-in-law, is the business head of the radiology dept. there. We will wait and see if we need to call in any specialists. Right now Shakespeare, recipes, family and friends are more fun to think about.
I didn't get a chance to try more potato pancakes tonight because Merwin wanted his favorite egg dish, a Winnie-the-Pooh, or egg in a hole or whatever it's called. What do you call it? I have added some grace notes:veggie bacon, grated cheese. He's in heaven; a man of simple pleasures. I want to try carrots grated in the latke mix: this is what EH's grandmother always did (as he wrote in an email today). I also forgot to mention that I never peel the potatoes before grating them. Just remove the deep eyes. Yukon gold potatoes work very well because they don't seem to oxidize as readily as other potatoes.
Love to all,
Bernice
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Writing in the evening
Dear Friends,
Tomorrow will be my first day back at the JCC for the calisthenics class I take, so I thought I would write tonight.
Like yesterday, mid-day was the low point. So I had an excellent morning, late afternoon, and evening so far.
Our dear friend Jesús from Valencia wrote today: "After reading your Dec. 11 post, I just drop a line to tell you that I also think that checking editions, emendations and variations is a lot of fun." Nice to know we are a community who enjoy these things.
The day began with some hamletworks.org work, and continued just before lunch with potato latkes. I am experimenting, and so far have made two them two three ways. I'll put them at the bottom of this post.
After a mid-day rest, we went to our Baroque concert series at Christ Church in Oyster Bay. I have written about this series before. The acoustics are a marvel, and it is pleasant to walk around and read the plaques dedicated to various Roosevelts, most of whom, the men at least,died in active service. But today what took the prize was the concert itself. It was remarkable. I entered the building thinking I would close my eyes and nap a bit. But the music kept me riveted throughout.
There were four instrumentalists, 2 on cello, 1 with a variety of recorders and a huge recorder called a dulcian, and a 4th, Wayne Hankin, with a large number of instruments I had never seen before. Wow, he was impressive. He now is with Cirque du Soleil, but he also is involved in many creative endeavors: film, jazz, TV, opera, composition and more. He often played recorders during the concert, but sometimes he had shofar-type (ram's horn) instruments, a small bagpipe, a huge bagpipe with long extensions leading to shofarim (called a grosser bock), a little drum that he played with one hand while he blew in a recorder. And more.
And there were 4 wonderful singers, each of whom got a chance to shine, 2 women (soprano, mezzo soprano) and two men (tenor and bass+baritone).
Lovely. I am listening to a recording right now featuring the mezzo, Margo Grib, which we had purchased a while ago. Today we bought a Hankin CD.
One's heart fills with joy at the beauty of it. Some songs brought tears to my eyes. Not hard for me at all, as I have mentioned. I also impressed Merwin by singing, sotto voce during the intermission "We Three Kings": I remember all the words.
Love to all,
Bernice
Potato latkas three ways, all easy:
1) 2 potatoes, 2 eggs, chunk of onion, salt, pepper Use chopping blade in Cuisinart (lower blade) to make into a mash, no flour. Fry in small spoonfuls in hot olive oil.
1a Same with 1 egg (two eggs make for a softer center).
2) 2 potatoes, shredded in Cuisinart, 1 egg, salt, pepper, a heaping T of matzoh meal or white flour, a pinch of baking soda. Fry as above.
3) Preheat oven to 350. Make the same mix as (2) into large pancake by lining a pan with oil. Heat the oil thoroughly. Spoon and press the whole mixture into flat shape to fit the pan. Bake for about a half hour, until you can see the crust at the bottom. Finish by browning the top under the broiler. It's a flat single pancake with more crust than center.
Each took only minutes to prepare. Goodbye, hand grater. Can't do that with this thumb anyway.
Enjoy!
Tomorrow will be my first day back at the JCC for the calisthenics class I take, so I thought I would write tonight.
Like yesterday, mid-day was the low point. So I had an excellent morning, late afternoon, and evening so far.
Our dear friend Jesús from Valencia wrote today: "After reading your Dec. 11 post, I just drop a line to tell you that I also think that checking editions, emendations and variations is a lot of fun." Nice to know we are a community who enjoy these things.
The day began with some hamletworks.org work, and continued just before lunch with potato latkes. I am experimenting, and so far have made two them two three ways. I'll put them at the bottom of this post.
After a mid-day rest, we went to our Baroque concert series at Christ Church in Oyster Bay. I have written about this series before. The acoustics are a marvel, and it is pleasant to walk around and read the plaques dedicated to various Roosevelts, most of whom, the men at least,died in active service. But today what took the prize was the concert itself. It was remarkable. I entered the building thinking I would close my eyes and nap a bit. But the music kept me riveted throughout.
There were four instrumentalists, 2 on cello, 1 with a variety of recorders and a huge recorder called a dulcian, and a 4th, Wayne Hankin, with a large number of instruments I had never seen before. Wow, he was impressive. He now is with Cirque du Soleil, but he also is involved in many creative endeavors: film, jazz, TV, opera, composition and more. He often played recorders during the concert, but sometimes he had shofar-type (ram's horn) instruments, a small bagpipe, a huge bagpipe with long extensions leading to shofarim (called a grosser bock), a little drum that he played with one hand while he blew in a recorder. And more.
And there were 4 wonderful singers, each of whom got a chance to shine, 2 women (soprano, mezzo soprano) and two men (tenor and bass+baritone).
Lovely. I am listening to a recording right now featuring the mezzo, Margo Grib, which we had purchased a while ago. Today we bought a Hankin CD.
One's heart fills with joy at the beauty of it. Some songs brought tears to my eyes. Not hard for me at all, as I have mentioned. I also impressed Merwin by singing, sotto voce during the intermission "We Three Kings": I remember all the words.
Love to all,
Bernice
Potato latkas three ways, all easy:
1) 2 potatoes, 2 eggs, chunk of onion, salt, pepper Use chopping blade in Cuisinart (lower blade) to make into a mash, no flour. Fry in small spoonfuls in hot olive oil.
1a Same with 1 egg (two eggs make for a softer center).
2) 2 potatoes, shredded in Cuisinart, 1 egg, salt, pepper, a heaping T of matzoh meal or white flour, a pinch of baking soda. Fry as above.
3) Preheat oven to 350. Make the same mix as (2) into large pancake by lining a pan with oil. Heat the oil thoroughly. Spoon and press the whole mixture into flat shape to fit the pan. Bake for about a half hour, until you can see the crust at the bottom. Finish by browning the top under the broiler. It's a flat single pancake with more crust than center.
Each took only minutes to prepare. Goodbye, hand grater. Can't do that with this thumb anyway.
Enjoy!
Recipes and thoughts
Dear Friends and Family,
I can tell when I am not exactly up to par: the place gets very messy. Normally, I like to keep things tidy, taking care of the mail immediately, hanging clothes up, trying to keep the living areas neat (though my desk remains a mess). So when I look around and see the things not taken care of, I know I must not be feeling up to tackling the chore. I am very forgiving of myself, though. I know I will have better moments and want to clear things away.
Yesterday was one of those days that didn't get better until rather late. By evening, I was no longer tired, and we watched a movie on TV till 11:00. Sleep was intermittent all night, and thoughts of potato latkes, and the versions I want to try were swimming in my head.
Because of the pattern of these days, I decided not to go to the memorial service for Dick Levin today. I had wanted to be there in support of Muriel, his wife, but it will be better for me to stay close to home.
Yesterday, Arthur asked me for a recipe for pecan rolls—a dangerous choice if weight is a problem: they are so delicious that it's hard to stop eating them. Years ago I would make several batches to give to friends and neighbors. The rolls keep well in the freezer, and 1/2 " slices are the equivalent of a cookie.
Here it is:
I can tell when I am not exactly up to par: the place gets very messy. Normally, I like to keep things tidy, taking care of the mail immediately, hanging clothes up, trying to keep the living areas neat (though my desk remains a mess). So when I look around and see the things not taken care of, I know I must not be feeling up to tackling the chore. I am very forgiving of myself, though. I know I will have better moments and want to clear things away.
Yesterday was one of those days that didn't get better until rather late. By evening, I was no longer tired, and we watched a movie on TV till 11:00. Sleep was intermittent all night, and thoughts of potato latkes, and the versions I want to try were swimming in my head.
Because of the pattern of these days, I decided not to go to the memorial service for Dick Levin today. I had wanted to be there in support of Muriel, his wife, but it will be better for me to stay close to home.
Yesterday, Arthur asked me for a recipe for pecan rolls—a dangerous choice if weight is a problem: they are so delicious that it's hard to stop eating them. Years ago I would make several batches to give to friends and neighbors. The rolls keep well in the freezer, and 1/2 " slices are the equivalent of a cookie.
Here it is:
Pecan Rolls
1 jar (7.5 oz) marshmallow cream
1 lb confect. sugar, sifted
3/4 t vanilla, more or less
1/2 tsp almond extract or more
Combine these 4 ingredients, kneading in the last of the sugar gradually. Shape into 8 rolls, 1" in
diameter. Wrap each in waxed paper and put in freezer until very hard. May be done a day or
1 lb bought caramels
about 10 C coarsely chopped pecans, with some left whole
Melt caramels in top of a metal double boiler with a little milk over boiling water. Remove from
Spread chopped pecans on your work surface.
With a spoon, spread caramel over rolls as you roll them into the chopped nuts. Press nuts into the caramel
Cool, store covered in cool dry place. Keeps a month.
Or store in freezer indefinitely.
To serve, cut into thin slices.
While I was rooting around for the pecan roll recipe, I found two for kreplach (little crepes). Antoinette, here is one. Dottie, does this compare well with the recipe my mother gave you?
Cheese kreplach
Dough
sift together 7 C flour, salt, 5 eggs, and enough water to make a pliable dough. Roll out on a wooden board and cut into sqaures (2" square? the recipe doesn't say). Place a teasp of cheese mixture in middle. Fold over to make a triangle, squeeze open edges together to seal, making a fluted edge. The sealing is vital or the cheese will leak out during the boiling.
Filling
16 oz. pressed cheese (farmers' cheese?)
1 egg
I am not sure if this is the correct amount of cheese for the amount of dough. If there is dough left over, it can be frozen and used another time.
Preparation
Boil salted water briskly. Add kreplach. Boil uncovered 10 min. Remove from water with slotted spoon. Bake at 350 till brown in a Pyrex dish to which a half bar of butter has been added.
Enjoy!
Love,
Bernice
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Mixed bag
Dear friends and Family,
As I pulled up the shades on our front windows this morning, I noticed that the sun shone brightly on the windows of the house opposite, a welcome greeting to the day. The east is at the back of our house, but their windows brought the sun to me.
Yesterday was a day of more rest than I wish I needed, but I did work in the morning and then went to the Columbia Shakespeare Seminar meeting, leaving here before 4 p.m. and returning after 10 p.m. Laury drove, which makes it easy. I got through all that very well, with some lovely chats with friends.
When I returned I saw there was an email from my hem, with her message to Dr. Raza and Dr. Raza's response. I am so confused. I suppose a phone conversation will sort things out, but right now I don't know how this will work out. I dread another disappointment and rejection at St. Vincent's CCC. Dr. Raza says she would like to see me if I am off the hydrea, my main chemo. But I am not off it, and I don't know what would happen if I went off. All this will work itself out, I am sure, but in the meantime I am in a state about it. Then there is the pulmonary doc on Monday; the PT for my hand. I don't think the cortisone injection did much good . . . . .
Of course in the midst of this, recipes dance in my head. I want to make potato latkes two ways, grated potato and shredded potato. This morning because dear Vivian brought over a Challah yesterday, I also want to make french toast two ways, one savory, filled with cheese, and the other sweet for Merwin, so he can enjoy his maple syrup on it.
And I want finally to complete the Arden edition I have been working on. Let's see if all this can happen, and if I feel up to it we have a party to go to this afternoon.
Love to all,
Bernice
As I pulled up the shades on our front windows this morning, I noticed that the sun shone brightly on the windows of the house opposite, a welcome greeting to the day. The east is at the back of our house, but their windows brought the sun to me.
Yesterday was a day of more rest than I wish I needed, but I did work in the morning and then went to the Columbia Shakespeare Seminar meeting, leaving here before 4 p.m. and returning after 10 p.m. Laury drove, which makes it easy. I got through all that very well, with some lovely chats with friends.
When I returned I saw there was an email from my hem, with her message to Dr. Raza and Dr. Raza's response. I am so confused. I suppose a phone conversation will sort things out, but right now I don't know how this will work out. I dread another disappointment and rejection at St. Vincent's CCC. Dr. Raza says she would like to see me if I am off the hydrea, my main chemo. But I am not off it, and I don't know what would happen if I went off. All this will work itself out, I am sure, but in the meantime I am in a state about it. Then there is the pulmonary doc on Monday; the PT for my hand. I don't think the cortisone injection did much good . . . . .
Of course in the midst of this, recipes dance in my head. I want to make potato latkes two ways, grated potato and shredded potato. This morning because dear Vivian brought over a Challah yesterday, I also want to make french toast two ways, one savory, filled with cheese, and the other sweet for Merwin, so he can enjoy his maple syrup on it.
And I want finally to complete the Arden edition I have been working on. Let's see if all this can happen, and if I feel up to it we have a party to go to this afternoon.
Love to all,
Bernice
Friday, December 11, 2009
Good Day
Dear friends and Family,
Thursday was a good day with lots accomplished, and fun too. I am almost finished entering the data for the last of the editions we plan to collate for hamletworks.org, the Arden 3 ed. Laury came over and read the Folio version of Measure for Measure while I read silently (mostly) along with her from Kittredge's version on my computer, which is our basic text for our Focus edition. When KIT varied from the Folio, we could decide what to do. I also starred lines that will need explanatory notes, and we divided the scenes between us for writing the notes. I must say that the book version of the New Variorum Measure for Measure came in handy too, because when KIT varied greatly from the Folio, we could check to see if he followed others or introduced an emendation. Lots of fun (I know, I know: not many would call this fun). So there we sat: Laury with the huge Folio volume, me at my computer, and the NV edition between us for reference: books and computers, both invaluable.
After our supper, Rick came over, our dear 5th son, as we think of him, and had his supper. He came bearing gifts: chocolates for Merwin and a case of red wine for me. It is so wonderful to see him happy and productive, busy with his scholarly life. He and I sat and chatted until my usual crash came at 8:30 p.m. In the process of clearing out books, Merwin and I had come across a brochure from the Cloisters. When Rick was a student in my Shakespeare class at NCC in 1992, Merwin drove a college van to the Cloisters for me so I could introduce my students to that wonderful place. Inside the brochure was the sign up sheet with Rick's name. We've come a long way since then, Rick and us.
My energy level is definitely better without the thalidomide. And probably the continued use of the prednisone also plays a role in ramping up the energy. Dr. Raza still hasn't responded to my hem, perhaps because she is at the big MPD meeting for physicians. I hope she brings good news from that source.
I am acutely aware of light and its play on the room, the remaining leaves, the bare branches. All these give me a huge amount of pleasure. I hope all of you take moments to enjoy what your eyes can feast on.
Love to all,
Bernice
Thursday was a good day with lots accomplished, and fun too. I am almost finished entering the data for the last of the editions we plan to collate for hamletworks.org, the Arden 3 ed. Laury came over and read the Folio version of Measure for Measure while I read silently (mostly) along with her from Kittredge's version on my computer, which is our basic text for our Focus edition. When KIT varied from the Folio, we could decide what to do. I also starred lines that will need explanatory notes, and we divided the scenes between us for writing the notes. I must say that the book version of the New Variorum Measure for Measure came in handy too, because when KIT varied greatly from the Folio, we could check to see if he followed others or introduced an emendation. Lots of fun (I know, I know: not many would call this fun). So there we sat: Laury with the huge Folio volume, me at my computer, and the NV edition between us for reference: books and computers, both invaluable.
After our supper, Rick came over, our dear 5th son, as we think of him, and had his supper. He came bearing gifts: chocolates for Merwin and a case of red wine for me. It is so wonderful to see him happy and productive, busy with his scholarly life. He and I sat and chatted until my usual crash came at 8:30 p.m. In the process of clearing out books, Merwin and I had come across a brochure from the Cloisters. When Rick was a student in my Shakespeare class at NCC in 1992, Merwin drove a college van to the Cloisters for me so I could introduce my students to that wonderful place. Inside the brochure was the sign up sheet with Rick's name. We've come a long way since then, Rick and us.
My energy level is definitely better without the thalidomide. And probably the continued use of the prednisone also plays a role in ramping up the energy. Dr. Raza still hasn't responded to my hem, perhaps because she is at the big MPD meeting for physicians. I hope she brings good news from that source.
I am acutely aware of light and its play on the room, the remaining leaves, the bare branches. All these give me a huge amount of pleasure. I hope all of you take moments to enjoy what your eyes can feast on.
Love to all,
Bernice
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
A less eventful day
Dear friends,
We saw our first snow this morning—though it had virtually disappeared in the onslaught of rain that followed; then later in the day it grew quite warm. After the exercise class at the JCC, I went to the plastic surgeon to complete the physical part of the procedure. I was surprised to learn that I it would take about 6 weeks to finish the process: first step going back in two weeks to take out stitches, I think, and change bandages, then more weeks until the bandages would be removed. Seems strange. In the meantime, a pathologist will look t the edges to make sure there are no errant cells.
The fun part of the day was going out for lunch with the Offenbachs. Otherwise, it was the usual work at the computer, plus naps. I got very few responses to my news of retiring from the New Variorum Hamlet project, but Jeffery our webmaster for hamletworks, sent a robust answer: "Wow! I'd like to think hamletworks.org will be more interesting in the end;-)." I think he means more interesting because I will be devoting more of my energies to it.
I have to avoid moving my shoulder too much, so I will stay away from exercise classes until next week. Sleeping late seems like such a gift, but it seldom happens to me.
We are buoyed up by the new health care proposals to take the place of the public option. I think they could actually be better, and the plan is to implement them much sooner: 1. opening up the govt system (that government workers including congress people enjoy now) to people who need health care, and 2. giving those 55-64 an opportunity to buy into a medicare-like plan. No doubt the intense campaigns by republicans and insurance groups are having an effect on people's thoughts. The dems better move quickly.
All the best to all,
Love,
Bernice
We saw our first snow this morning—though it had virtually disappeared in the onslaught of rain that followed; then later in the day it grew quite warm. After the exercise class at the JCC, I went to the plastic surgeon to complete the physical part of the procedure. I was surprised to learn that I it would take about 6 weeks to finish the process: first step going back in two weeks to take out stitches, I think, and change bandages, then more weeks until the bandages would be removed. Seems strange. In the meantime, a pathologist will look t the edges to make sure there are no errant cells.
The fun part of the day was going out for lunch with the Offenbachs. Otherwise, it was the usual work at the computer, plus naps. I got very few responses to my news of retiring from the New Variorum Hamlet project, but Jeffery our webmaster for hamletworks, sent a robust answer: "Wow! I'd like to think hamletworks.org will be more interesting in the end;-)." I think he means more interesting because I will be devoting more of my energies to it.
I have to avoid moving my shoulder too much, so I will stay away from exercise classes until next week. Sleeping late seems like such a gift, but it seldom happens to me.
We are buoyed up by the new health care proposals to take the place of the public option. I think they could actually be better, and the plan is to implement them much sooner: 1. opening up the govt system (that government workers including congress people enjoy now) to people who need health care, and 2. giving those 55-64 an opportunity to buy into a medicare-like plan. No doubt the intense campaigns by republicans and insurance groups are having an effect on people's thoughts. The dems better move quickly.
All the best to all,
Love,
Bernice
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Another day with doctors-—and more
Dear friends and family,
Turns out there IS a way that Medicare could cut costs: maybe I'll write to Senator Schumer about it. Seems that the appointment I made for today with the plastic surgeon to remove this early incipient melanoma from my chest was a mandated talk-only session. I had brought my meds list, etc. Medicare insists that the talk and the procedure have to be at two separate visits. But the doc quickly decided, since my platelets had hit a new high of 96 yesterday (not too far below low normal, 150) that he would perform the procedure tomorrow, before they could go down again. So medicare has to pay him twice for something that could be done in one visit. Back I go tomorrow. My other doctors, hem and internist-cardiologist, decided that I should see a pulmonary specialist for the lungs, but that appointment won't be until next Mon. So I think, unless my hem wants me again before then, I will be free of doctors from Tues. until next Mon. Hooray! We are celebrating by going with friends to the Jolly Fisherman tomorrow for lunch, really a surprisingly good restaurant that caters to old folks like us. Did I tell you that story? maybe I did. When we moved to Long Island in the '50s, we saw lots and lots of people going into that restaurant, but they all had white hair, leading us to assume that it wasn't for us. We stayed away. Now it IS for us.
I had a lot of business emails and other correspondence to deal with today, including the momentous letter of resignation from my position as the coordinating editor of the New Variorum Hamlet project, which I began over 20 years ago. I want to spend my time on other projects, the website hamletworks.org, for example (my baby), and the edition of Measure for Measure I am doing (I AM!) with Laury, to say nothing of the essay I am writing for the Shakespeare Association of America meeting in the spring. Doesn't hurt to plan ahead.
So far the cortisone shot in my right thumb seems to be working a little. There is residual pain, but I haven't had any of the very sharp, sudden attacks that surprised me before yesterday.
A good refreshing nap in the afternoon and I was able to do some work on the website. And we went to see a free movie tonight, The Fantastic Mister Fox. I liked it moderately. "Free" wipes away certain critical faculties. We can take in a free movie at selected theaters every Tues. if we want to. The animation was remarkable; the music was good; the story was OK: a good time was had by all.
Love to all of you,
Thanks for listening,
Bernice
Turns out there IS a way that Medicare could cut costs: maybe I'll write to Senator Schumer about it. Seems that the appointment I made for today with the plastic surgeon to remove this early incipient melanoma from my chest was a mandated talk-only session. I had brought my meds list, etc. Medicare insists that the talk and the procedure have to be at two separate visits. But the doc quickly decided, since my platelets had hit a new high of 96 yesterday (not too far below low normal, 150) that he would perform the procedure tomorrow, before they could go down again. So medicare has to pay him twice for something that could be done in one visit. Back I go tomorrow. My other doctors, hem and internist-cardiologist, decided that I should see a pulmonary specialist for the lungs, but that appointment won't be until next Mon. So I think, unless my hem wants me again before then, I will be free of doctors from Tues. until next Mon. Hooray! We are celebrating by going with friends to the Jolly Fisherman tomorrow for lunch, really a surprisingly good restaurant that caters to old folks like us. Did I tell you that story? maybe I did. When we moved to Long Island in the '50s, we saw lots and lots of people going into that restaurant, but they all had white hair, leading us to assume that it wasn't for us. We stayed away. Now it IS for us.
I had a lot of business emails and other correspondence to deal with today, including the momentous letter of resignation from my position as the coordinating editor of the New Variorum Hamlet project, which I began over 20 years ago. I want to spend my time on other projects, the website hamletworks.org, for example (my baby), and the edition of Measure for Measure I am doing (I AM!) with Laury, to say nothing of the essay I am writing for the Shakespeare Association of America meeting in the spring. Doesn't hurt to plan ahead.
So far the cortisone shot in my right thumb seems to be working a little. There is residual pain, but I haven't had any of the very sharp, sudden attacks that surprised me before yesterday.
A good refreshing nap in the afternoon and I was able to do some work on the website. And we went to see a free movie tonight, The Fantastic Mister Fox. I liked it moderately. "Free" wipes away certain critical faculties. We can take in a free movie at selected theaters every Tues. if we want to. The animation was remarkable; the music was good; the story was OK: a good time was had by all.
Love to all of you,
Thanks for listening,
Bernice
What a day it was
Yesterday, Pearl Harbor Day (do people remember?) was a day spent mainly sitting in waiting rooms waiting indeed to be seen by doctors. Merwin and I spent over 6 hours altogether, first at the orthopedist who administered the shot of cortisone, which may help my thumb; then across the hall, late for our hem appointment, where we got good news about the results of the transfusion. Full details will come today. But given my breathlessness climbing stairs, my hem sent me right over to get a CT Scan. During all this time we hadn't eaten, so thoughts of making the Bittman pasta dish were swimming in my head. Later the hem called to give me the good news that there were no blood clots in my lungs, but there were things that made her call my internist to get him to take a look and decide what to do. So more doctoring is afoot this week, I am afraid.
But the good news is that I endured all of this without any sign of fatigue; came home and made the Bittman pasta that skips the step of boiling it in water; did a very little work; watched a movie; went to bed late. So it seems that the thalidomide, which may be reducing my spleen somewhat, is also the cause of the fatigue. My hem will confer with Dr. Raza before deciding whether or not to continue with the thalidomide.
Today I go to a plastic surgeon to get a thing removed thoroughly from my chest, but I am determined to work as well. I could get sick of all this doctoring, but I am aware that it is all meant to help me feel better. And so it is worth it.
More soon,
Love,
Bernice
But the good news is that I endured all of this without any sign of fatigue; came home and made the Bittman pasta that skips the step of boiling it in water; did a very little work; watched a movie; went to bed late. So it seems that the thalidomide, which may be reducing my spleen somewhat, is also the cause of the fatigue. My hem will confer with Dr. Raza before deciding whether or not to continue with the thalidomide.
Today I go to a plastic surgeon to get a thing removed thoroughly from my chest, but I am determined to work as well. I could get sick of all this doctoring, but I am aware that it is all meant to help me feel better. And so it is worth it.
More soon,
Love,
Bernice
Monday, December 7, 2009
Two days in the City
Dear Friends and Family,
The absence of the thalidomide must be helping, and maybe the trnsfusion too, because I was able to keep busy in NYC, with extended rests in between each activity.
Sat. night we went to see "In the Next Room or the vibrator play," a silly ineffective piece in our opinion. This was mounted by Lincoln Center at the Lyceum Theater, very close to our apartment, which was part of the attraction. That, and we got tickets at the last minute using our Lincoln Center membership card. Our main goal this weekend was to attend the NYPL gala on Sunday, but we find that traveling on one day and doing a major activity the next is the best plan. We had very good seats for this not so good play, first row mezzanine, on the aisle. Unfortunately, we had to climb all the way to the top of this beautiful old theater, then down to our seats. Stairs are very difficult now. I am trying to keep positive thoughts in my head, imagining myself having already reached the top, with a smile on my face. This technique got me up many steep hills when I was a runner.
Two things about the play moved me. Before and between the scenes a screen hid the set, showing trees mostly denuded, a village street with houses, and gas-lit street lamps. The colors and the season spoke to me. Then near the end, the static stage set rotated around to reveal a winter scene, with snow banks and snow gently falling. This brought tears to my eyes. Don't ask me why. I cry very easily at all times, and more especially these days. Afterward there was the short walk to our apartment.
The next day we treated ourselves to breakfast out, at the Bryant Park Hotel (after a walk around looking for other possibilities close by), next door to our building. It was delicious and cunningly presented. Since I could eat only half, I asked for a doggie bag. As we walked the short distance to our building next door, a tall, handsome African-American man thrust himself in or faces: "You're doing OK!" he said. Help me, I am hungry! I thrust my doggie bag at him and said, "Take this, then." He looked in an examined the colorful egg and potato dish appraisingly, visible through the transparent cover, and then agreed. All this took about 3 seconds. I wasn't thinking, just acting. We are always cautioned against giving money to people asking for it on the street or subways. I had just a moment's regret abotut losing my delicious snack for later.
At 1 p.m. we joined the long line snaking into the NYPL. The plan had been for Merwin to carry my computer. We would place it in the study room, then go to one event, after which I would spend an hour on the Times Literary Supplement. But at the door we were told that the library was closed for study: this was strictly a fun day. So Merwin had to dash back to our apartment with the computer. Once inside, we sampled some delicious punch, elegant cookies and crackers, and chose the one event from the many (social dancing for one) to attend. We had a guided tour that took us into one level of the stacks, not very deep in, but just enough to see how it looked: just like the Library of Congress stacks in the very old days when I (and others of course) had access to the closed stacks, a privilege no longer granted. The guide was the library's site manager, Stuart something. He was impressive. The one myth that was shattered was the one from an old movie we can remember: the runners do not get about on roller skates. There are millions of books down there: we saw a few hundred.
That was enough for me. We went back to the apartment for another rest, then a walk to the subway, a train ride to Port Washington, where we met Laury and Boris for dinner at a charming French restrurant with a fixed price menu: $20 per person, 3 generous courses. And a lovely surprise, Toby and Elliott joined us also. I was OK until almost 8 and then felt I had to get home. But once there, I recovered quickly.
Being able to do three things in a day—breakfast out, NYPL, dinner with friends—I felt very good about the situation. Am I feeling better because of the transfusion? stopping thalidomide for a week? Who knows?
Love to all,
Bernice
The absence of the thalidomide must be helping, and maybe the trnsfusion too, because I was able to keep busy in NYC, with extended rests in between each activity.
Sat. night we went to see "In the Next Room or the vibrator play," a silly ineffective piece in our opinion. This was mounted by Lincoln Center at the Lyceum Theater, very close to our apartment, which was part of the attraction. That, and we got tickets at the last minute using our Lincoln Center membership card. Our main goal this weekend was to attend the NYPL gala on Sunday, but we find that traveling on one day and doing a major activity the next is the best plan. We had very good seats for this not so good play, first row mezzanine, on the aisle. Unfortunately, we had to climb all the way to the top of this beautiful old theater, then down to our seats. Stairs are very difficult now. I am trying to keep positive thoughts in my head, imagining myself having already reached the top, with a smile on my face. This technique got me up many steep hills when I was a runner.
Two things about the play moved me. Before and between the scenes a screen hid the set, showing trees mostly denuded, a village street with houses, and gas-lit street lamps. The colors and the season spoke to me. Then near the end, the static stage set rotated around to reveal a winter scene, with snow banks and snow gently falling. This brought tears to my eyes. Don't ask me why. I cry very easily at all times, and more especially these days. Afterward there was the short walk to our apartment.
The next day we treated ourselves to breakfast out, at the Bryant Park Hotel (after a walk around looking for other possibilities close by), next door to our building. It was delicious and cunningly presented. Since I could eat only half, I asked for a doggie bag. As we walked the short distance to our building next door, a tall, handsome African-American man thrust himself in or faces: "You're doing OK!" he said. Help me, I am hungry! I thrust my doggie bag at him and said, "Take this, then." He looked in an examined the colorful egg and potato dish appraisingly, visible through the transparent cover, and then agreed. All this took about 3 seconds. I wasn't thinking, just acting. We are always cautioned against giving money to people asking for it on the street or subways. I had just a moment's regret abotut losing my delicious snack for later.
At 1 p.m. we joined the long line snaking into the NYPL. The plan had been for Merwin to carry my computer. We would place it in the study room, then go to one event, after which I would spend an hour on the Times Literary Supplement. But at the door we were told that the library was closed for study: this was strictly a fun day. So Merwin had to dash back to our apartment with the computer. Once inside, we sampled some delicious punch, elegant cookies and crackers, and chose the one event from the many (social dancing for one) to attend. We had a guided tour that took us into one level of the stacks, not very deep in, but just enough to see how it looked: just like the Library of Congress stacks in the very old days when I (and others of course) had access to the closed stacks, a privilege no longer granted. The guide was the library's site manager, Stuart something. He was impressive. The one myth that was shattered was the one from an old movie we can remember: the runners do not get about on roller skates. There are millions of books down there: we saw a few hundred.
That was enough for me. We went back to the apartment for another rest, then a walk to the subway, a train ride to Port Washington, where we met Laury and Boris for dinner at a charming French restrurant with a fixed price menu: $20 per person, 3 generous courses. And a lovely surprise, Toby and Elliott joined us also. I was OK until almost 8 and then felt I had to get home. But once there, I recovered quickly.
Being able to do three things in a day—breakfast out, NYPL, dinner with friends—I felt very good about the situation. Am I feeling better because of the transfusion? stopping thalidomide for a week? Who knows?
Love to all,
Bernice
Friday, December 4, 2009
Two activities today!
Dear Friends and Family,
Usually these days I can manage one activity but not two. Today I went to the usual very enjoyable "Ladies who Lunch" at the Jolly Fisherman, which we do on the first Friday of each month. A varied group comes, but always people who are fun to be with. We talk books, movies, current affairs, family matters and what not. I held up my end of the conversation with, ah hem, if I may say so, my usual verve and energy. By the end, though, I was ready to drive home and lie down for a bit. But then later I went with Merwin to the Gap to see if we could find him some nice jeans and at the same time make another contribution to our favorite charity. We did that in about a half hour. I love speeding through any shopping we do.
So I think I can say confidently that I am feeling better than I did before the transfusion. I go to the hem again on Monday, and she will evaluate the situation. I think the spleen is down a little too. For now I will not take the thalidomide until we talk, and I take a little less prednisone too.
Nothing much else to report today. I have been working on hamletworks.org, which I find easy to do because it is what I like best: capturing notes, thinking about them, and making adjustments that will help users. I also wrote lots of emails and regular letters. So it's been a busy day though not one that lends itself to details. It's not quite 8 p.m., but my eyes are drooping.
More another time,
Love to all,
Bernice
Usually these days I can manage one activity but not two. Today I went to the usual very enjoyable "Ladies who Lunch" at the Jolly Fisherman, which we do on the first Friday of each month. A varied group comes, but always people who are fun to be with. We talk books, movies, current affairs, family matters and what not. I held up my end of the conversation with, ah hem, if I may say so, my usual verve and energy. By the end, though, I was ready to drive home and lie down for a bit. But then later I went with Merwin to the Gap to see if we could find him some nice jeans and at the same time make another contribution to our favorite charity. We did that in about a half hour. I love speeding through any shopping we do.
So I think I can say confidently that I am feeling better than I did before the transfusion. I go to the hem again on Monday, and she will evaluate the situation. I think the spleen is down a little too. For now I will not take the thalidomide until we talk, and I take a little less prednisone too.
Nothing much else to report today. I have been working on hamletworks.org, which I find easy to do because it is what I like best: capturing notes, thinking about them, and making adjustments that will help users. I also wrote lots of emails and regular letters. So it's been a busy day though not one that lends itself to details. It's not quite 8 p.m., but my eyes are drooping.
More another time,
Love to all,
Bernice
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Missing day
Dear Friends and Family,
I am a little red-faced about the transfusion, 2 units. We neglected to ask how long we would be there, just assumed that it would be about the same as a phlebotomy. So we didn't bring reading materials or anything to wile away the 7 hours we were at LIJ's oncology unit. Everyone there is very nice and helpful, but, oh, the tedium. As soon as we found the the real time scheme, I sent Merwin home. I guess also I was hoping that the immediate effect would begin to flow, renewed energy, with the blood. Actually it has taken me until now (about 3:30 p.m. the day after) to begin to feel some recovery back to "normal." No sign of increased energy yet, but I am hopeful. I was told it could take two days.
I did manage in the last couple of hours to do some quiet work on hamletworks.org, and that always buoys me up. Also, I read Bittman's recipe yesterday, and so it has been swimming around in my head. I'd love to try it. It's noodles made as if they were risotto, eliminating the step of boiling water, large pot, etc. I'm for fewer pots!
I sent Merwin off to Brooks Brothers by himself to buy a couple of pairs of trousers. He and I both like to go together, but he did very well by himself. This is the first day of three when Americana donates 25% of all purchases to a charity of your choice. What a deal! I hope I am up to going tomorrow or the next day, the last two days of the event.
The weather has been amazing: pouring rain during the night, fresh breezes and warm temps during the day. Yesterday, I saw the sweetest flower on one of our bushes, one of the many treats that son Dave has laid out for us.
I hope to have good news tomorrow!
Love,
Bernice
I am a little red-faced about the transfusion, 2 units. We neglected to ask how long we would be there, just assumed that it would be about the same as a phlebotomy. So we didn't bring reading materials or anything to wile away the 7 hours we were at LIJ's oncology unit. Everyone there is very nice and helpful, but, oh, the tedium. As soon as we found the the real time scheme, I sent Merwin home. I guess also I was hoping that the immediate effect would begin to flow, renewed energy, with the blood. Actually it has taken me until now (about 3:30 p.m. the day after) to begin to feel some recovery back to "normal." No sign of increased energy yet, but I am hopeful. I was told it could take two days.
I did manage in the last couple of hours to do some quiet work on hamletworks.org, and that always buoys me up. Also, I read Bittman's recipe yesterday, and so it has been swimming around in my head. I'd love to try it. It's noodles made as if they were risotto, eliminating the step of boiling water, large pot, etc. I'm for fewer pots!
I sent Merwin off to Brooks Brothers by himself to buy a couple of pairs of trousers. He and I both like to go together, but he did very well by himself. This is the first day of three when Americana donates 25% of all purchases to a charity of your choice. What a deal! I hope I am up to going tomorrow or the next day, the last two days of the event.
The weather has been amazing: pouring rain during the night, fresh breezes and warm temps during the day. Yesterday, I saw the sweetest flower on one of our bushes, one of the many treats that son Dave has laid out for us.
I hope to have good news tomorrow!
Love,
Bernice
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Blessed friendships
Dear friends and family,
Remembering when I woke up at 4 a.m. that our writing group was meeting today, I started writing a bit for the Seminar I am taking part in next spring so I would have something to read to everyone. I think I got a good start. Laury, our Seminar leader, wants 200-300 word abstract in a few days. I'll do it.
The writing group itself is sheer joy. We were all there, though not everyone read. Everyone writes so differently, and we love each other and what we read aloud to each other. And we snacked. Kathryn showed photos of her grandson Henry and his new cousin Analisa [sp?], a girl in the family at last.
I am hanging in, waiting for the magic of the blood transfusion tomorrow. In the meantime, I got the news that a something my dermatologist removed from my chest needs to be excised completely by a plastic surgeon because of its suspicious nature. Just because my body is struggling with something serious doesn't mean I am liberated from all the other attendant ailments of time. Well, it's a distraction anyway.
For supper Merwin and I had a delicious vegetable soup that Florence brought over. Now we are looking forward to being convinced by Obama about the additional troops in Afghanistan: we are very very doubtful.
Love to all,
Bernice
P. S. Not everyone loves recipes, so I am putting them at the bottom. My spinach pie recipe has generated others: here are two more, simpler than my complex version and probably just as good:
Phyllis's spinach pie:
No crust on bottom or top. Prepare a pie pan that is oiled with butter or oil nicely. Fresh spinach
washed and spun dry, cut with a knife into smallish pieces. One 16 ounce carton of cottage
cheese, low or no fat if necessary. One egg whipped with a fork and combined with the spinach
and cheese in bowl. In bowl with ingredients, toss a half cup of desired cheeses, can use two
types, and a whole cup if wanted. Mix well, and turn into prepared pie pan. Preheat oven to 350
and let heat 40 to 45 minutes, then light broiler flame for a few minutes to lightly brown top.
That is it, remove, it will puff up then fall down a bit, but the taste is good, and if all the water is
out of the veg. it even cuts like a pie. (I put a bit of butter on top, just in 4 to 6 places, which
makes it richer).
Antoinette's spinach pie
1 box spinach thawed and squeezed of all liquid
16 Oz's. low fat Ricotta
2 eggs
1 cup grated swiss (Jarlsberg)
1 cup Parmesan grated
Crust
1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup chopped Walnuts or Almonds
1/4 cup Butter
Mix ingredients for crust and put in pie pan.
Mix filling ingredients and put in pie crust.
Bake at 375 for 45 minutes
freezes well.
Remembering when I woke up at 4 a.m. that our writing group was meeting today, I started writing a bit for the Seminar I am taking part in next spring so I would have something to read to everyone. I think I got a good start. Laury, our Seminar leader, wants 200-300 word abstract in a few days. I'll do it.
The writing group itself is sheer joy. We were all there, though not everyone read. Everyone writes so differently, and we love each other and what we read aloud to each other. And we snacked. Kathryn showed photos of her grandson Henry and his new cousin Analisa [sp?], a girl in the family at last.
I am hanging in, waiting for the magic of the blood transfusion tomorrow. In the meantime, I got the news that a something my dermatologist removed from my chest needs to be excised completely by a plastic surgeon because of its suspicious nature. Just because my body is struggling with something serious doesn't mean I am liberated from all the other attendant ailments of time. Well, it's a distraction anyway.
For supper Merwin and I had a delicious vegetable soup that Florence brought over. Now we are looking forward to being convinced by Obama about the additional troops in Afghanistan: we are very very doubtful.
Love to all,
Bernice
P. S. Not everyone loves recipes, so I am putting them at the bottom. My spinach pie recipe has generated others: here are two more, simpler than my complex version and probably just as good:
Phyllis's spinach pie:
No crust on bottom or top. Prepare a pie pan that is oiled with butter or oil nicely. Fresh spinach
washed and spun dry, cut with a knife into smallish pieces. One 16 ounce carton of cottage
cheese, low or no fat if necessary. One egg whipped with a fork and combined with the spinach
and cheese in bowl. In bowl with ingredients, toss a half cup of desired cheeses, can use two
types, and a whole cup if wanted. Mix well, and turn into prepared pie pan. Preheat oven to 350
and let heat 40 to 45 minutes, then light broiler flame for a few minutes to lightly brown top.
That is it, remove, it will puff up then fall down a bit, but the taste is good, and if all the water is
out of the veg. it even cuts like a pie. (I put a bit of butter on top, just in 4 to 6 places, which
makes it richer).
Antoinette's spinach pie
1 box spinach thawed and squeezed of all liquid
16 Oz's. low fat Ricotta
2 eggs
1 cup grated swiss (Jarlsberg)
1 cup Parmesan grated
Crust
1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup chopped Walnuts or Almonds
1/4 cup Butter
Mix ingredients for crust and put in pie pan.
Mix filling ingredients and put in pie crust.
Bake at 375 for 45 minutes
freezes well.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Rollarcoaster rides all the time
Dear Everyone,
Merwin and I were watching the Newshour on PBS as is our wont every weekday evening, and we were thrilled to see that Marie Ponsot, poet, teacher, mentor, scholar was honored on the occasion of her 88th birthday for her poetry. They left out all her myriad achievements in so many arenas, but we saw her in her NYC garden, on the street walking briskly, in her book-lined study writing a poem in long hand on a yellow pad, displaying photos of her fantastic family (7 children, countless grandchildren and great-grandchildren), and reading some poems from her newest book of poems. They didn't show her in her classrooms, where she still teaches writers, and that would have been something to capture for the ages.
I met Marie in 1969 at Queens College, where she was the single most influence on my teaching and approach to students. I am proud that I nominated her book Beat Not the Poor Desk, co-authored with a colleague, for the Mina Shaunghassey Award (which she received) given to the outstanding book on teaching by the Modern Language Association. The award-winning book is well worth reading at every level of teaching. It is about empowering students and joining with them in the process of writing and listening.
Marie was also an excellent scholar, and in courses I taught in medieval literature I would invite her to share her wisdom about Marie de France, whose poems she had translated.
So Seeing Marie on TV was a nice ending to the day. It began well enough too, with my first trial of wrist weights for the gym class, to avoid using my sore thumbs. I had to ask Murray, who stands next to me, to tighten them, but he is so accommodating, I don't think he minded. Then coffee at Gila's cafe with Elaine, Florence, and Gloria from the class.
The trip to the hem was a bit stressful. The verdict is that I have reached the last stage of bone marrow productivity, the spent stage. The good news is that I go off the thalidomide for 3 days and get a blood transfusion at Long Island Jewish Hospital on Wednesday a.m. Maybe 3 days without the thalidomide will give me a rest. And maybe the blood will beef me up. My hem will call Dr. Raza at St Vincent's CCC to see if there are any other choices available. My platelets have gone up a little but not enough to get me into the INCYTE trial. What I most wish for is continued productivity and joy in work and play, people and places, in whatever time I have left.
Here is a recipe from Jessica:
Mash steamed cauliflower with an electric hand mixer; add a little smart balance, salt, pepper, and garlic powder. For an extra touch add non-fat yogurt and fresh chopped chives.
Thanks Jessica. I think I will include any recipes that people send to me, without bothering to ask permission.
Love to all,
Bernice
Merwin and I were watching the Newshour on PBS as is our wont every weekday evening, and we were thrilled to see that Marie Ponsot, poet, teacher, mentor, scholar was honored on the occasion of her 88th birthday for her poetry. They left out all her myriad achievements in so many arenas, but we saw her in her NYC garden, on the street walking briskly, in her book-lined study writing a poem in long hand on a yellow pad, displaying photos of her fantastic family (7 children, countless grandchildren and great-grandchildren), and reading some poems from her newest book of poems. They didn't show her in her classrooms, where she still teaches writers, and that would have been something to capture for the ages.
I met Marie in 1969 at Queens College, where she was the single most influence on my teaching and approach to students. I am proud that I nominated her book Beat Not the Poor Desk, co-authored with a colleague, for the Mina Shaunghassey Award (which she received) given to the outstanding book on teaching by the Modern Language Association. The award-winning book is well worth reading at every level of teaching. It is about empowering students and joining with them in the process of writing and listening.
Marie was also an excellent scholar, and in courses I taught in medieval literature I would invite her to share her wisdom about Marie de France, whose poems she had translated.
So Seeing Marie on TV was a nice ending to the day. It began well enough too, with my first trial of wrist weights for the gym class, to avoid using my sore thumbs. I had to ask Murray, who stands next to me, to tighten them, but he is so accommodating, I don't think he minded. Then coffee at Gila's cafe with Elaine, Florence, and Gloria from the class.
The trip to the hem was a bit stressful. The verdict is that I have reached the last stage of bone marrow productivity, the spent stage. The good news is that I go off the thalidomide for 3 days and get a blood transfusion at Long Island Jewish Hospital on Wednesday a.m. Maybe 3 days without the thalidomide will give me a rest. And maybe the blood will beef me up. My hem will call Dr. Raza at St Vincent's CCC to see if there are any other choices available. My platelets have gone up a little but not enough to get me into the INCYTE trial. What I most wish for is continued productivity and joy in work and play, people and places, in whatever time I have left.
Here is a recipe from Jessica:
Mash steamed cauliflower with an electric hand mixer; add a little smart balance, salt, pepper, and garlic powder. For an extra touch add non-fat yogurt and fresh chopped chives.
Thanks Jessica. I think I will include any recipes that people send to me, without bothering to ask permission.
Love to all,
Bernice
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Stirring day
Dear Friends,
The morning was taken up by an unveiling ceremony for our friend Beverly Freierman: it's a Jewish custom to unveil the headstone about 11 months after the death of anyone. The occasion brought back a flood of memories. I could hear Beverly's hoarse voice, her laugh, and see her expressions. We were college mates at Hofstra, in their evening program. She was about 10 years older than I was, very bright, full of energy. All six of her children were there today as well as many grandchildren, cousins and other relatives. I had the feeling that this would be the last time I would see these good and interesting people. The Dzens went with us; Eli Dzen and Beverly were cousins, though we met the Dzens long after we knew Beverly and her husband Homo. Both Beverly and Homo played the mandolin, he as an accomplished and brilliant soloist, she as a member of a mandolin orchestra. No need to tell her whole story here. We shared many occasions, parties, family gatherings, concerts, intimate talks at all levels.
***
Friends have been inspired by the recipes I have posted to try them or to suggest recipes of their own. Sons Dave and Lincoln made blintzes for a party, and the result was stupendous Dave says.
Here's a note from Sami:
Now when I find an interesting food project I also think of you and want
to tell you about it. One result of checking your blog frequently.
I had about a third of a bottle of dry red wine way past its prime, and
instead of tossing it, I put it in a small skillet with some raisins and
a few juniper berries. i let it cook down until it was syrupy, then
refrigerated it.
I think it's delicious. So far I've just had a teaspoonful as a snack,
added it to a small bowl of yoghurt, and had it as a relish with some
chicken and turkey.
(I started eating chicken and turkey when I discovered Stone Barn Farm in
Westchester, wonderful place. I buy eggs. poultry and vegetables from
them.)
http://www.stonebarnscenter.org/
I only buy Newman's Own organic raisins, (they have great prunes too).
Recently I've been using juniper berries in a variety of things, starting
when I looked up recipes for chicken and turkey in Bittman's book "How To
Cook Everything". Great book.
The turkey recipe uses juniper berries and orange peel, among other things.
Thanks for adding to the store of recipes, Sami.
***
Tomorrow I see my doctor, and given the negative effects the T&P are having on me I am hoping she will agree to take me off of them. Do I really want to use the time remaining feeling so rotten? It would be different if the meds would actually lead to something positive. Since there is no cure, quality of life has to be paramount.
I am continuing to limp along on hamletworks.org, but that's about all I can handle right now.
Still, I have to report that there is a smile on my face because I know that so many are listening to me, complaints and all.
Love to all,
Bernice
The morning was taken up by an unveiling ceremony for our friend Beverly Freierman: it's a Jewish custom to unveil the headstone about 11 months after the death of anyone. The occasion brought back a flood of memories. I could hear Beverly's hoarse voice, her laugh, and see her expressions. We were college mates at Hofstra, in their evening program. She was about 10 years older than I was, very bright, full of energy. All six of her children were there today as well as many grandchildren, cousins and other relatives. I had the feeling that this would be the last time I would see these good and interesting people. The Dzens went with us; Eli Dzen and Beverly were cousins, though we met the Dzens long after we knew Beverly and her husband Homo. Both Beverly and Homo played the mandolin, he as an accomplished and brilliant soloist, she as a member of a mandolin orchestra. No need to tell her whole story here. We shared many occasions, parties, family gatherings, concerts, intimate talks at all levels.
***
Friends have been inspired by the recipes I have posted to try them or to suggest recipes of their own. Sons Dave and Lincoln made blintzes for a party, and the result was stupendous Dave says.
Here's a note from Sami:
Now when I find an interesting food project I also think of you and want
to tell you about it. One result of checking your blog frequently.
I had about a third of a bottle of dry red wine way past its prime, and
instead of tossing it, I put it in a small skillet with some raisins and
a few juniper berries. i let it cook down until it was syrupy, then
refrigerated it.
I think it's delicious. So far I've just had a teaspoonful as a snack,
added it to a small bowl of yoghurt, and had it as a relish with some
chicken and turkey.
(I started eating chicken and turkey when I discovered Stone Barn Farm in
Westchester, wonderful place. I buy eggs. poultry and vegetables from
them.)
http://www.stonebarnscenter.org/
I only buy Newman's Own organic raisins, (they have great prunes too).
Recently I've been using juniper berries in a variety of things, starting
when I looked up recipes for chicken and turkey in Bittman's book "How To
Cook Everything". Great book.
The turkey recipe uses juniper berries and orange peel, among other things.
Thanks for adding to the store of recipes, Sami.
***
Tomorrow I see my doctor, and given the negative effects the T&P are having on me I am hoping she will agree to take me off of them. Do I really want to use the time remaining feeling so rotten? It would be different if the meds would actually lead to something positive. Since there is no cure, quality of life has to be paramount.
I am continuing to limp along on hamletworks.org, but that's about all I can handle right now.
Still, I have to report that there is a smile on my face because I know that so many are listening to me, complaints and all.
Love to all,
Bernice
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Amazing grace
Hello everyone,
Energy was low these 24 hours or so in the City. So it amazes me that when I entered the Allen Room at the NYPL and saw a few volumes of TLS (The Times Literary Supplement) waiting for me on my shelf, I suddenly felt much better, ready to work. Well "work" is perhaps a misnomer; ready to enjoy the sometimes acid remarks scholars make about each other's work. It amuses me that someone who seems to have a solid reputation (even if somewhat kooky) as G. Wilson Knight should write to TLS to complain about being overlooked.
"Oh, so you felt that too!" I think to myself. Anyway, I spent a lovely hour in the room capturing some notes.
Afterward we went to Lincoln Center for a concert at Philharmonic. We have series tickets. I can't say too much about the concert. It was OK, but nothing to get me to stand and ovate. To save energy we went by cab, meeting our friend Naomi there. We followed up with a light supper (which turned out to be very ample) at Josephina's across from Lincoln Center. Then another cab ride to the LIRR, where we managed to make the train that was about to leave.
Here we are a little over 24 hours later, but it seems as if we have been gone for a couple of days at least. The change in place makes for a change in time perception. I am reading the warnings for thalidomide; besides warnings to pregnant women, the label lists all my symptoms: fatigue especially. Since there is only a 30% chance that it will reduce my spleen, and since it does nothing to prolong life, is it worth wasting the time I have with this miserable tiredness, so unpredictable, sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the evening, never allowing for plans? Or if I make plans, as we did today, I have to push through somehow in spite of being drawn irresistibly to the bed. I have started on the 2nd month of the 3-month trial.
There is a woman on the MPD list who strokes her big spleen daily, thanking it for all the hard work it is doing. And indeed we do not know everything the spleen accomplishes for those of us with MPDs. Maybe smaller is not always better.
Did I tell you about my suspenders, ordered through the Internet? They help to keep my jeans up now that I have no waistline. I am happy with them. Small favors help.
Love to all,
Bernice
Energy was low these 24 hours or so in the City. So it amazes me that when I entered the Allen Room at the NYPL and saw a few volumes of TLS (The Times Literary Supplement) waiting for me on my shelf, I suddenly felt much better, ready to work. Well "work" is perhaps a misnomer; ready to enjoy the sometimes acid remarks scholars make about each other's work. It amuses me that someone who seems to have a solid reputation (even if somewhat kooky) as G. Wilson Knight should write to TLS to complain about being overlooked.
"Oh, so you felt that too!" I think to myself. Anyway, I spent a lovely hour in the room capturing some notes.
Afterward we went to Lincoln Center for a concert at Philharmonic. We have series tickets. I can't say too much about the concert. It was OK, but nothing to get me to stand and ovate. To save energy we went by cab, meeting our friend Naomi there. We followed up with a light supper (which turned out to be very ample) at Josephina's across from Lincoln Center. Then another cab ride to the LIRR, where we managed to make the train that was about to leave.
Here we are a little over 24 hours later, but it seems as if we have been gone for a couple of days at least. The change in place makes for a change in time perception. I am reading the warnings for thalidomide; besides warnings to pregnant women, the label lists all my symptoms: fatigue especially. Since there is only a 30% chance that it will reduce my spleen, and since it does nothing to prolong life, is it worth wasting the time I have with this miserable tiredness, so unpredictable, sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the evening, never allowing for plans? Or if I make plans, as we did today, I have to push through somehow in spite of being drawn irresistibly to the bed. I have started on the 2nd month of the 3-month trial.
There is a woman on the MPD list who strokes her big spleen daily, thanking it for all the hard work it is doing. And indeed we do not know everything the spleen accomplishes for those of us with MPDs. Maybe smaller is not always better.
Did I tell you about my suspenders, ordered through the Internet? They help to keep my jeans up now that I have no waistline. I am happy with them. Small favors help.
Love to all,
Bernice
Friday, November 27, 2009
Two beautiful days
For close to 48 hours, we had the pleasure of being with family. Merwin and I arrived in CT on Wed. in time for supper. My spinach pie was not a great success, though people who hadn't tasted the first attempt didn't know that. Now I must make it again. There were a couple of problems: I didn't get exactly the right cheeses, and I had selected baby spinach to save the time of stemming the older leaves. Not a good idea: the baby spinach is OK for salad but virtually tasteless when sauteed. Wed. night there were eight of us, and we enjoyed each other, told stories, joked. I lasted all day!
The price had to be paid, though. The next day, with a much larger crowd, I was a little slow and low. During the day everyone (Except me) made one or two favorite dishes for the evening meal. Our Sandy, a capable organzier, kept things moving while making her own dishes. Calm prevailed. Rachael suggested at the dinner table that we each say what we are grateful for. That was a splendid idea. I said I was grateful that all five of my grandchildren, all four of my children, both spouses and one machitanista (mother of Debbie) were there. It is the 1st time since 2001 that all the grandchildren have been together. The 5 (two different families) range from Laura, 26, to Sabrina, 23, with the twins Rachael and Michelle 24 and our grandson Daniel 25 in between.
Then this morning, we met Arthur and family, our sons Lincoln and Dave, for breakfast at the motel where we were all staying. A little quiet time before separating.
Now we are getting ready to go to the City. We have concert tickets for tomorrow and decided it would be best to divide the trip, going in today and then coming home tomorrow night.
More med news on Monday. For now I am wondering if the side effects are worth the effort.
I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. Wishing you the very best for this holiday season.
Love,
Bernice
The price had to be paid, though. The next day, with a much larger crowd, I was a little slow and low. During the day everyone (Except me) made one or two favorite dishes for the evening meal. Our Sandy, a capable organzier, kept things moving while making her own dishes. Calm prevailed. Rachael suggested at the dinner table that we each say what we are grateful for. That was a splendid idea. I said I was grateful that all five of my grandchildren, all four of my children, both spouses and one machitanista (mother of Debbie) were there. It is the 1st time since 2001 that all the grandchildren have been together. The 5 (two different families) range from Laura, 26, to Sabrina, 23, with the twins Rachael and Michelle 24 and our grandson Daniel 25 in between.
Then this morning, we met Arthur and family, our sons Lincoln and Dave, for breakfast at the motel where we were all staying. A little quiet time before separating.
Now we are getting ready to go to the City. We have concert tickets for tomorrow and decided it would be best to divide the trip, going in today and then coming home tomorrow night.
More med news on Monday. For now I am wondering if the side effects are worth the effort.
I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. Wishing you the very best for this holiday season.
Love,
Bernice
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Thanksgiving thoughts
First of all, I feel thankful that the new blood tests I had came out better than they looked the other day. The WBC is down to 130, from 161 (far above the normal range of 4-11, but still better for me) and platelets stayed about 63 (normal 140-450), which is better than it seemed from the last test a couple of days ago. The other values are low, and now I have to take iron along with all the other pills but reduce the HU chemo by half. And the hem wants to see me again on Mon.
I am thankful that I am feeling well, happy and energetic this morning, unlike yesterday when I had to spend all available time in bed, barely rousing myself to get to the dentist for my teeth cleaning session with Yvonne. She said that my mouth looked good, and that is always a good indicator of health.
After I completed the spinach pie for tonight's dinner, we went to the Rock and Roll movie, and that was fun.
Now we are getting ready to take the drive to Connecticut, eager to see the family; sad that Sandy's parents and her sister will not be there, but thankful that we can have this holiday with the others who will be with us.
As a mark of hopefulness, I took a summer skirt into the new tailor in town, and paid $20 to have the elastic replaced and some minor repair. I intend to be here next summer to enjoy wearing it, a lovely silk creation by Irene Nolan, a gifted designer whose clothes I adore.
I hope everything is going well for all of you. I am so grateful for your being there and look forward to your email messages.
Love and happy holidays to all,
Bernice
I am thankful that I am feeling well, happy and energetic this morning, unlike yesterday when I had to spend all available time in bed, barely rousing myself to get to the dentist for my teeth cleaning session with Yvonne. She said that my mouth looked good, and that is always a good indicator of health.
After I completed the spinach pie for tonight's dinner, we went to the Rock and Roll movie, and that was fun.
Now we are getting ready to take the drive to Connecticut, eager to see the family; sad that Sandy's parents and her sister will not be there, but thankful that we can have this holiday with the others who will be with us.
As a mark of hopefulness, I took a summer skirt into the new tailor in town, and paid $20 to have the elastic replaced and some minor repair. I intend to be here next summer to enjoy wearing it, a lovely silk creation by Irene Nolan, a gifted designer whose clothes I adore.
I hope everything is going well for all of you. I am so grateful for your being there and look forward to your email messages.
Love and happy holidays to all,
Bernice
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Catching up
Dear ones,
It was hard for me to write yesterday because I got some bad news from my hem. She had me come in to retest my bloods, and they were a mess, after only 3 days the platelets had gone down again, and all the other values, except the whites blood count, were low. We have to call this morning to see where the WBC is.
But the day was spent sort of productively. I don't like refined sugars, so to have something sweet at Thanksgiving I made myself my date-nut cookies, let's call them. Here is the recipe:
Mix thoroughly together with enough water to make a thin paste Droste unsweetened cocoa powder and a little vanilla.
Prepare big Persian dates, seeded and folded open to lie flat; place a pecan half on each half, drizzle a little of the bitter choc. on top; you can make a double layer if you like, more dates, more nuts, more choc. Bake at 350 for 10 min. Cool on rack. Not bad. But probably not for those who like real cookies.
I ate a few to test them out thoroughly and then had Merwin wrap them so that I couldn't get to them easily. Nothing wrong with my appetite.
I started the prep for the spinach pie I will bring to our Thanksgiving feast at Harvey and Sandy's. Then I made two Bittman recipes from his 101 list in the NYT. Neither was successful, a surprise for me because I can usually tell when something will be good. I sort of liked one, but poor Merwin didn't at all. He is so good; he manfully ate as much as he could manage. I will make it up to him today By preparing his favorite, what we call Winnie-the-Pooh eggs, an egg fried in a hole in a slice of bread. I jazz this up with some cheese on the second side and some fake bacon. This simple dish pleases greatly, especially when I manage to keep the yoke soft.
I had more energy than usual, and worked on hamletworks.org rather late into the night. I had trouble sleeping, but no night sweats and only one little leg cramp: I think the magnesium is helping on that score. Some of the symptoms of the end game have gone away. I have no fevers, no more weight loss (maybe that's the prednisone?), fewer night sweats: so that's all good.
So as usual, there are ups and downs, and mostly I am smiling, looking forward and also living one day at a time.
Thinking of you all with gratitude for your love and friendship,
Bernice
It was hard for me to write yesterday because I got some bad news from my hem. She had me come in to retest my bloods, and they were a mess, after only 3 days the platelets had gone down again, and all the other values, except the whites blood count, were low. We have to call this morning to see where the WBC is.
But the day was spent sort of productively. I don't like refined sugars, so to have something sweet at Thanksgiving I made myself my date-nut cookies, let's call them. Here is the recipe:
Mix thoroughly together with enough water to make a thin paste Droste unsweetened cocoa powder and a little vanilla.
Prepare big Persian dates, seeded and folded open to lie flat; place a pecan half on each half, drizzle a little of the bitter choc. on top; you can make a double layer if you like, more dates, more nuts, more choc. Bake at 350 for 10 min. Cool on rack. Not bad. But probably not for those who like real cookies.
I ate a few to test them out thoroughly and then had Merwin wrap them so that I couldn't get to them easily. Nothing wrong with my appetite.
I started the prep for the spinach pie I will bring to our Thanksgiving feast at Harvey and Sandy's. Then I made two Bittman recipes from his 101 list in the NYT. Neither was successful, a surprise for me because I can usually tell when something will be good. I sort of liked one, but poor Merwin didn't at all. He is so good; he manfully ate as much as he could manage. I will make it up to him today By preparing his favorite, what we call Winnie-the-Pooh eggs, an egg fried in a hole in a slice of bread. I jazz this up with some cheese on the second side and some fake bacon. This simple dish pleases greatly, especially when I manage to keep the yoke soft.
I had more energy than usual, and worked on hamletworks.org rather late into the night. I had trouble sleeping, but no night sweats and only one little leg cramp: I think the magnesium is helping on that score. Some of the symptoms of the end game have gone away. I have no fevers, no more weight loss (maybe that's the prednisone?), fewer night sweats: so that's all good.
So as usual, there are ups and downs, and mostly I am smiling, looking forward and also living one day at a time.
Thinking of you all with gratitude for your love and friendship,
Bernice
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Finding the bright spots
Dear Friends and family,
What was good? Went to spin where I feel the friendship and even love of friends there (thanks, Gail!). I didn't try to stand this time because last time, though I thought I was being careful when I stood, my thumbs were protesting afterward. Then home for breakfast. I am trying to avoid yogurt for breakfast because it seems to make me tired: lactose intolerance, I guess. I will save it for bedtime. Laury came over and we had fun with Measure for Measure. She read from the Folio while I scanned the text by Kittredge that I have on my computer, and we decided where we should return to the Folio or strike out on our own.Lots of fun: nothing like hearing the words, word for word, to clarify what the problems are that we will have to footnote for students.
She brought a fresh contract with her from the publisher: they thought that perhaps they had neglected to send us one because they ahd not received signed contracts from us. No, they had sent it all right. I just wasn't sure I could undertake and complete this job. Laury and I got into act 2, and then I had to go rest. Lots of fatigue today, but after some nap time, I did some work on the website.
We tried (Merwin is my constant helpmeet in all these decisions) to take the prednisone at night, rather than in the morning. Maybe that would help ward off the fatigue. But one day isn't enough to tell.
Our meals were all leftovers from the previous days, so I had no cooking chores today. Merwin did make a lovely salad.
And Merwin and I have agreed about how we are going to brighten the bedroom. I would like that.I am spending quite a lot of time there these days.
Dare I mention the not-so-bright spot? I had trouble breathing today, along with the fatigue. I think the spleen is growing rather than shrinking and pressing more on my lungs. So every drug I have taken to shrink the spleen has failed so far.
But I have hope that maybe this next month of T&P will help me turn the corner.
Love to all,
Bernice
What was good? Went to spin where I feel the friendship and even love of friends there (thanks, Gail!). I didn't try to stand this time because last time, though I thought I was being careful when I stood, my thumbs were protesting afterward. Then home for breakfast. I am trying to avoid yogurt for breakfast because it seems to make me tired: lactose intolerance, I guess. I will save it for bedtime. Laury came over and we had fun with Measure for Measure. She read from the Folio while I scanned the text by Kittredge that I have on my computer, and we decided where we should return to the Folio or strike out on our own.Lots of fun: nothing like hearing the words, word for word, to clarify what the problems are that we will have to footnote for students.
She brought a fresh contract with her from the publisher: they thought that perhaps they had neglected to send us one because they ahd not received signed contracts from us. No, they had sent it all right. I just wasn't sure I could undertake and complete this job. Laury and I got into act 2, and then I had to go rest. Lots of fatigue today, but after some nap time, I did some work on the website.
We tried (Merwin is my constant helpmeet in all these decisions) to take the prednisone at night, rather than in the morning. Maybe that would help ward off the fatigue. But one day isn't enough to tell.
Our meals were all leftovers from the previous days, so I had no cooking chores today. Merwin did make a lovely salad.
And Merwin and I have agreed about how we are going to brighten the bedroom. I would like that.I am spending quite a lot of time there these days.
Dare I mention the not-so-bright spot? I had trouble breathing today, along with the fatigue. I think the spleen is growing rather than shrinking and pressing more on my lungs. So every drug I have taken to shrink the spleen has failed so far.
But I have hope that maybe this next month of T&P will help me turn the corner.
Love to all,
Bernice
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Nothing New
Dear Blog-visitors,
Nothing much to report today. It began with the same fatigue I have been experiencing for several days; then by about 4 p.m. it had lessened enough to start my working on our website, hamletworks.org. I also made mid-day Turmeric chicken dinner for Merwin and an evening meal (cauliflower a la Rachel: quite good: thanks Rae-Rae). We also went to North Shore Farms, where we gobbled up the free treats (well, I did), and we shopped for next week. We thought going at night might work out better, but it was pretty crowded.
The sad part of the day was phoning our in-laws, Sandy's parents. Sandy's mother, Lee, has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has canceled plans to come to Harvey and Sandy's home for Thanksgiving. I have been thinking that this would be the last time I would see these dear people. I didn't think it would shape up this way. I cry so easily; there I am on the phone, weeping, while Lee and Murray sound like people totally in charge of their emotions, thanking us for thinking of them and phoning.
I am looking forward to working tomorrow with Laury on Measure for Measure. If only I can pull myself together early enough so we can have a full day.
Now back to work on hamletworks.org, if only for an hour.
Fond regards to all,
Bernice
Nothing much to report today. It began with the same fatigue I have been experiencing for several days; then by about 4 p.m. it had lessened enough to start my working on our website, hamletworks.org. I also made mid-day Turmeric chicken dinner for Merwin and an evening meal (cauliflower a la Rachel: quite good: thanks Rae-Rae). We also went to North Shore Farms, where we gobbled up the free treats (well, I did), and we shopped for next week. We thought going at night might work out better, but it was pretty crowded.
The sad part of the day was phoning our in-laws, Sandy's parents. Sandy's mother, Lee, has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has canceled plans to come to Harvey and Sandy's home for Thanksgiving. I have been thinking that this would be the last time I would see these dear people. I didn't think it would shape up this way. I cry so easily; there I am on the phone, weeping, while Lee and Murray sound like people totally in charge of their emotions, thanking us for thinking of them and phoning.
I am looking forward to working tomorrow with Laury on Measure for Measure. If only I can pull myself together early enough so we can have a full day.
Now back to work on hamletworks.org, if only for an hour.
Fond regards to all,
Bernice
Friday, November 20, 2009
Good news
We went to our hem today, and she was pleased that my platelets have gone up, now about 65; if and when they reach 100, I can be considered for the INCYTE trial. The fatigue I have been experiencing is not because the condition has worsened, as I had feared, but because of the thalidomide: it's a side effect. The prednisone is supposed to counteract that, but evidently is not working all that well. Though who knows how bad it would be without the P. So ever onward.
Counting on the pattern of the last several days, with improvement in the evening, we are going to Sabbath supper at our synagogue and maybe even to services after, which is going to be 100% singing. I love the singing. Maybe I can even join in. Being with people is energizing for me, so I have to fight the urge to curl up in a ball on my bed.
Vaughan asked me about the high window in the bedroom I mentioned in yesterday's post. Yes, that is new. We decided to get rid of our inefficient air conditioners and get much more energy efficient ones, with a $1500 rebate (more on that at a later date when and if we actually get that). We got 4 Mitsubishi air conditioners that are almost totally silent because the compressors are outside. They are small units installed high up near the ceiling in 4 rooms. Anyway, the installer had the bright idea of filling the hole that the old air conditioner had made in the bedroom wall with a window of the same size. Who knew what a delight that would be? And the air conditioners help me to breathe when I feel I am suffocating, without filling the room with a rush of air and noise. A good move.
I am gearing up for my work with Laury on Measure for Measure, one of my favorite plays. I still haven't signed the contract, but I think I am ready to do that now. The work on hamletworks.org continues, at least in the thinking-about-it stage. Then there is the essay for the conference in the spring, also on Measure for Measure, which makes real sense, given that we are working on the edition: the essay and the edition will overlap.
We continue to be amazed at our weather and with the leaves that remain green, yellow and even red, now somewhat sparse. I am continuing with the recipes, but will save the next ones for future posts.
Love to all,
Bernice
Counting on the pattern of the last several days, with improvement in the evening, we are going to Sabbath supper at our synagogue and maybe even to services after, which is going to be 100% singing. I love the singing. Maybe I can even join in. Being with people is energizing for me, so I have to fight the urge to curl up in a ball on my bed.
Vaughan asked me about the high window in the bedroom I mentioned in yesterday's post. Yes, that is new. We decided to get rid of our inefficient air conditioners and get much more energy efficient ones, with a $1500 rebate (more on that at a later date when and if we actually get that). We got 4 Mitsubishi air conditioners that are almost totally silent because the compressors are outside. They are small units installed high up near the ceiling in 4 rooms. Anyway, the installer had the bright idea of filling the hole that the old air conditioner had made in the bedroom wall with a window of the same size. Who knew what a delight that would be? And the air conditioners help me to breathe when I feel I am suffocating, without filling the room with a rush of air and noise. A good move.
I am gearing up for my work with Laury on Measure for Measure, one of my favorite plays. I still haven't signed the contract, but I think I am ready to do that now. The work on hamletworks.org continues, at least in the thinking-about-it stage. Then there is the essay for the conference in the spring, also on Measure for Measure, which makes real sense, given that we are working on the edition: the essay and the edition will overlap.
We continue to be amazed at our weather and with the leaves that remain green, yellow and even red, now somewhat sparse. I am continuing with the recipes, but will save the next ones for future posts.
Love to all,
Bernice
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Down and Up
Lately, it's been kind of down with fatigue for a good part of the day and then at least a partial—and often a full—revival later in the day. I would say that was the situation yesterday and today. So it is almost 5:00, and I am smiling.
I cannot tell what is going on with the T&P. The latter is supposed to make me hyper so I have to take it in the a.m.. I wish it would. The effect seems the opposite. Symptoms of the end game have diminished to an extent: no fevers for many days now, often no night sweats, weight seems stabilized. In fact I better be careful because I was so focused on trying not to lose more weight that I was (am) eating much more than I need to. I better go back to more normal eating. Even the cramps seem better with the higher dose of magnesium (400 mg at night). Also I am taking two Tylenol at night. Is the spleen smaller? Very hard to say.
I have been relishing the last red leaves and the yellows on the trees all around here. And the weather has been cooperative, at least till this afternoon when it started raining. They thrill me this year as never before I think. And I am also looking forward to the "bare, ruined choirs," when the trees show their lovely bodies to those with an eye for them. The new window high up in my bedroom lets me see the top leaves of one of the huge evergreens on our property. All great pleasures.
Last night Merwin went with me to a meeting of the Escorts for Planned Parenthood. Since the last murder of a provider, the doctors at Planned Parenthood here felt they needed a real security patrol rather than a couple of men and women volunteers. We volunteer escorts were there last night to find out what we could do in the future for the cause. Unfortunately, there is very little I can do. I had to give up escorting some months back. Other volunteer jobs are labor intensive, so I was able to put down only letter writing as a volunteer job. I am reminded of the many activities of my life that I have had to give up, putting each aside with regret but always finding something to replace them. So may it be for this one also.
Today was another day that began with fatigue, but we were enlivened by a visit from our almost son Rick, who is very dear to us. A former student, he has become a colleague and a friend. He came for a quick lunch and a catch up. His activities are always fascinating.
I am still working my way through the recipe folder: Here's one by my dear (now deceased) mother-in-law, aka Nana, transcribed from the version written in her clear hand:
Nana's Date Nut Bread
Preheat oven to 350
Mix together with a wooden spoon, 3 C flour, 3 t baking powder. 1 baking soda
Mix together 1 egg, 2 T oil, 1 and 1/2 C liquid or water or even orange juice (though I don't think she ever used it). This can be the liquid in which you soak the dates to soften them (if they are very dry only). Add the wet to the dry ingredients. Mix well but do not over mix.
Add 1 and 1/2 C chopped nuts
I C chopped fruit (dates or raisins) or more.
Put batter in one greased loaf pan or in two small greased loaf pans.
Bake 50-60 minutes if using one pan; 40-50 min for small pan. Press top lightly to test for doneness. The toothpick method doesn't work because the mixture is moist.
Enjoy!
Love to all,
Bernice
I cannot tell what is going on with the T&P. The latter is supposed to make me hyper so I have to take it in the a.m.. I wish it would. The effect seems the opposite. Symptoms of the end game have diminished to an extent: no fevers for many days now, often no night sweats, weight seems stabilized. In fact I better be careful because I was so focused on trying not to lose more weight that I was (am) eating much more than I need to. I better go back to more normal eating. Even the cramps seem better with the higher dose of magnesium (400 mg at night). Also I am taking two Tylenol at night. Is the spleen smaller? Very hard to say.
I have been relishing the last red leaves and the yellows on the trees all around here. And the weather has been cooperative, at least till this afternoon when it started raining. They thrill me this year as never before I think. And I am also looking forward to the "bare, ruined choirs," when the trees show their lovely bodies to those with an eye for them. The new window high up in my bedroom lets me see the top leaves of one of the huge evergreens on our property. All great pleasures.
Last night Merwin went with me to a meeting of the Escorts for Planned Parenthood. Since the last murder of a provider, the doctors at Planned Parenthood here felt they needed a real security patrol rather than a couple of men and women volunteers. We volunteer escorts were there last night to find out what we could do in the future for the cause. Unfortunately, there is very little I can do. I had to give up escorting some months back. Other volunteer jobs are labor intensive, so I was able to put down only letter writing as a volunteer job. I am reminded of the many activities of my life that I have had to give up, putting each aside with regret but always finding something to replace them. So may it be for this one also.
Today was another day that began with fatigue, but we were enlivened by a visit from our almost son Rick, who is very dear to us. A former student, he has become a colleague and a friend. He came for a quick lunch and a catch up. His activities are always fascinating.
I am still working my way through the recipe folder: Here's one by my dear (now deceased) mother-in-law, aka Nana, transcribed from the version written in her clear hand:
Nana's Date Nut Bread
Preheat oven to 350
Mix together with a wooden spoon, 3 C flour, 3 t baking powder. 1 baking soda
Mix together 1 egg, 2 T oil, 1 and 1/2 C liquid or water or even orange juice (though I don't think she ever used it). This can be the liquid in which you soak the dates to soften them (if they are very dry only). Add the wet to the dry ingredients. Mix well but do not over mix.
Add 1 and 1/2 C chopped nuts
I C chopped fruit (dates or raisins) or more.
Put batter in one greased loaf pan or in two small greased loaf pans.
Bake 50-60 minutes if using one pan; 40-50 min for small pan. Press top lightly to test for doneness. The toothpick method doesn't work because the mixture is moist.
Enjoy!
Love to all,
Bernice
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Hooray, a good day
This was a day that I had planned to be in NYC, so in a sense it was an "extra" day for me. I went to a later SPIN class so I could see Tripp, who has given up teaching the 6:30 a.m. class. We were happy to see each other. Leslie, a spinning buddy, had brought me her jell seat because I am forced to sit the whole time to avoid damaging my arthritic thumbs. I feel so part of a community when I am there.
I have gone back to Nova for breakfast, something I enjoyed before my heart surgery and a low-salt diet—which I don't think I have to be on anymore. I think a lot of health measures are beside the point right now. Pleasure is the main thing.
I had two rests during the day, but otherwise it was eventful for me. I communicated with the journal to which I had sent my essay; they wanted it electronically, and I was happy to oblige, but it took some time to go through their whole procedure. And I set myself a new task, inspired by Antoinette, who has written me about girlhood memories of kreplach and other dishes that a Jewish girlfriend's grandmother made. I decided I would go through my 3 x 5 recipe cards and convert them to WORD docs by typing them into the computer. So I can also send one or two to all of you who are reading this. You'll find the recipe for blintzes at the end of this post. It'll take me a while, Antoinette, to get to the K's! The cards are arranged alphabetically.
Merwin suddenly recalled at about 2 p.m. that today is Tues. and thus the free day at some local movie theaters. He picked out "An Education," and we loved it. I was a bit confused at first because I thought we were going to see the one about the rock music off the coast of England, but perhaps we can see that another time. I love Rock & Roll. Merwin doesn't, but ever obliging he'll go with me.
We got home in time for the Leherer Report, and a quick supper of leftovers. Then after a short nap, a visit to the Sea Cliff Village Hall for an art festival. Thank goodness the first presenter was Louise Sharakan, and she did a splendid job of explaining the genesis and development of her art, which was on display, from dyed silk to framed collages and jewelry. It was a delight.
And I was ready for more! We rushed over to Rising Tide, where they opened the locked doors for us, and I got a bunch of good vitamins and herbs that are going to make me feel even better, and now I am sitting here at the computer with a smile on my face. Way past my bed time.
Love to all,
Bernice
Here is the recipe; it's really very simple when you get the hang of it:
Baba's Blintzes
My mother's method was self-taught as far as I know, and I never saw it mentioned in any recipe for blintzes, blini, or the equivalent. The standard recipes tell you to pour batter into a heated pan and swish it around until it covers the bottom. They also tell you to make all the blini and then afterward fill them. My mother did both at once with deft motions.
For the batter, mix together 1 C flour, 2 eggs, a little salt, 1 C water or more to make the batter the consistency of heavy cream. This makes the shell of the blintz; it's a very thin pancake.
For the filling, mix 1 package farmer's cheese (7 oz) with 1 egg.
Heat a small, 6 ½" frying pan in which to make the blinis
Prepare an oblong 9 x13 pan in which you can bake the blintzes by greasing with butter or oil.
Have soft butter on hand to grease the frying pan between each blini.
Preheat oven to 350 if desired. or hold the blintzes for hours in the refrigerator until you are ready to bake them.
Method:
Assemble all ingredients, as above.
1. Heat frying pan and grease with butter applied with a bit of paper towel.
2. Pour batter into pan and immediately pour the batter back into its container. What you will have is a thin shell of pancake with a kind of tail, where you poured it back out.
3. As soon as the pancake has set, release it from the pan and drop it onto a clean plate or towel. 4. Immediately rebutter pan and add batter as before. Adjust the flame so the pancake won't cook too quickly.
5. Now while the pancake is setting, use those couple of minutes to put some cheese into the waiting pancake and fold over sides to make a nice package, finished off with the tongue of batter left by the pouring. Place in the greased oblong pan.
6. By now the shell of the 2nd blintz is ready to be removed. Drop it onto your work space.
Repeat steps 2-5.
And continue until all the batter and all the cheese has been used.
Bake at 350 whenever you are ready. They should be nicely brown on all sides. You may want to turn them over at some point. This recipe should make 12-14 blintzes.
From the community she came from, sugar was not an important ingredient, so her blintzes are unsweetened. But you can serve jam on the side for those with a sweet tooth and sour cream is also nice.
My adaptation, skinless blintzes:
I make the filling as she directed, but with about 3x-4x the amount of cheese and eggs, using at least partly salt-free farmer's cheese. I bake this mixture in a loaf pan and serve it in spoonfuls at brunches, with jam and sour cream on the side.
I have gone back to Nova for breakfast, something I enjoyed before my heart surgery and a low-salt diet—which I don't think I have to be on anymore. I think a lot of health measures are beside the point right now. Pleasure is the main thing.
I had two rests during the day, but otherwise it was eventful for me. I communicated with the journal to which I had sent my essay; they wanted it electronically, and I was happy to oblige, but it took some time to go through their whole procedure. And I set myself a new task, inspired by Antoinette, who has written me about girlhood memories of kreplach and other dishes that a Jewish girlfriend's grandmother made. I decided I would go through my 3 x 5 recipe cards and convert them to WORD docs by typing them into the computer. So I can also send one or two to all of you who are reading this. You'll find the recipe for blintzes at the end of this post. It'll take me a while, Antoinette, to get to the K's! The cards are arranged alphabetically.
Merwin suddenly recalled at about 2 p.m. that today is Tues. and thus the free day at some local movie theaters. He picked out "An Education," and we loved it. I was a bit confused at first because I thought we were going to see the one about the rock music off the coast of England, but perhaps we can see that another time. I love Rock & Roll. Merwin doesn't, but ever obliging he'll go with me.
We got home in time for the Leherer Report, and a quick supper of leftovers. Then after a short nap, a visit to the Sea Cliff Village Hall for an art festival. Thank goodness the first presenter was Louise Sharakan, and she did a splendid job of explaining the genesis and development of her art, which was on display, from dyed silk to framed collages and jewelry. It was a delight.
And I was ready for more! We rushed over to Rising Tide, where they opened the locked doors for us, and I got a bunch of good vitamins and herbs that are going to make me feel even better, and now I am sitting here at the computer with a smile on my face. Way past my bed time.
Love to all,
Bernice
Here is the recipe; it's really very simple when you get the hang of it:
Baba's Blintzes
My mother's method was self-taught as far as I know, and I never saw it mentioned in any recipe for blintzes, blini, or the equivalent. The standard recipes tell you to pour batter into a heated pan and swish it around until it covers the bottom. They also tell you to make all the blini and then afterward fill them. My mother did both at once with deft motions.
For the batter, mix together 1 C flour, 2 eggs, a little salt, 1 C water or more to make the batter the consistency of heavy cream. This makes the shell of the blintz; it's a very thin pancake.
For the filling, mix 1 package farmer's cheese (7 oz) with 1 egg.
Heat a small, 6 ½" frying pan in which to make the blinis
Prepare an oblong 9 x13 pan in which you can bake the blintzes by greasing with butter or oil.
Have soft butter on hand to grease the frying pan between each blini.
Preheat oven to 350 if desired. or hold the blintzes for hours in the refrigerator until you are ready to bake them.
Method:
Assemble all ingredients, as above.
1. Heat frying pan and grease with butter applied with a bit of paper towel.
2. Pour batter into pan and immediately pour the batter back into its container. What you will have is a thin shell of pancake with a kind of tail, where you poured it back out.
3. As soon as the pancake has set, release it from the pan and drop it onto a clean plate or towel. 4. Immediately rebutter pan and add batter as before. Adjust the flame so the pancake won't cook too quickly.
5. Now while the pancake is setting, use those couple of minutes to put some cheese into the waiting pancake and fold over sides to make a nice package, finished off with the tongue of batter left by the pouring. Place in the greased oblong pan.
6. By now the shell of the 2nd blintz is ready to be removed. Drop it onto your work space.
Repeat steps 2-5.
And continue until all the batter and all the cheese has been used.
Bake at 350 whenever you are ready. They should be nicely brown on all sides. You may want to turn them over at some point. This recipe should make 12-14 blintzes.
From the community she came from, sugar was not an important ingredient, so her blintzes are unsweetened. But you can serve jam on the side for those with a sweet tooth and sour cream is also nice.
My adaptation, skinless blintzes:
I make the filling as she directed, but with about 3x-4x the amount of cheese and eggs, using at least partly salt-free farmer's cheese. I bake this mixture in a loaf pan and serve it in spoonfuls at brunches, with jam and sour cream on the side.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Topsy Turvy
Dear Friends and family,
Everything has been upside down for the last few days. Instead of waking up ready for action and gradually tiring towards the end of the day, I seem to be starting out pretty tired and then picking up steam in the late afternoon. That has happened the last few days. I suspect it has something to do with the meds I am taking, but how or why the situation has changed I don't know. But it does lend itself to interesting possibilities for planning evening activities.
Yesterday I wrote about the lovely setting for the concert we attended on Sunday but didn't say anything about the concert itself. It was highly unusual and fascinating. The acoustics in the church lent themselves to the experience. There was a mezzo soprano, Margo Grib, who not only sang but also played a vielle, a violin-like instrument, sometimes both at once, which rather amazed us. There were two recorder players, Daphna Mor (who also played a weird instrument called a nai, very breathy, not forceful), and Nina Stern (who also played a chalumeau); Haig Manoogian, an oud player; and David Buckbut, percussion. At one point they all said something about at least one of their instruments, explaining its likenesses and differences from the instruments more familiar to us. Buckbut charmingly explained his especial affection for his tambourine-like instrument--not the kindergarten variety at all, and my, he could get lots of different sounds out of it. Three of the five were not native Americans. They played 13th- and 14th-century music: Latin, Armenian, Spanish and English. Fascinating, lovely sexy. That's probably more than you want to know, but this blog is at last partly a diary, a memory-keeper for me.
I went to another session with the PT for my thumbs today, arriving there exactly 5 minutes from the time I pulled out of the garage. I like that. The session itself helps me feel better. But still a wrong move and I let out a screech.
See you later,
Bernice
Everything has been upside down for the last few days. Instead of waking up ready for action and gradually tiring towards the end of the day, I seem to be starting out pretty tired and then picking up steam in the late afternoon. That has happened the last few days. I suspect it has something to do with the meds I am taking, but how or why the situation has changed I don't know. But it does lend itself to interesting possibilities for planning evening activities.
Yesterday I wrote about the lovely setting for the concert we attended on Sunday but didn't say anything about the concert itself. It was highly unusual and fascinating. The acoustics in the church lent themselves to the experience. There was a mezzo soprano, Margo Grib, who not only sang but also played a vielle, a violin-like instrument, sometimes both at once, which rather amazed us. There were two recorder players, Daphna Mor (who also played a weird instrument called a nai, very breathy, not forceful), and Nina Stern (who also played a chalumeau); Haig Manoogian, an oud player; and David Buckbut, percussion. At one point they all said something about at least one of their instruments, explaining its likenesses and differences from the instruments more familiar to us. Buckbut charmingly explained his especial affection for his tambourine-like instrument--not the kindergarten variety at all, and my, he could get lots of different sounds out of it. Three of the five were not native Americans. They played 13th- and 14th-century music: Latin, Armenian, Spanish and English. Fascinating, lovely sexy. That's probably more than you want to know, but this blog is at last partly a diary, a memory-keeper for me.
I went to another session with the PT for my thumbs today, arriving there exactly 5 minutes from the time I pulled out of the garage. I like that. The session itself helps me feel better. But still a wrong move and I let out a screech.
See you later,
Bernice
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