Dear friends and family,
Yesterday was a City day, and as always it's wonderfully energizing to be there. In spite of lots of snow having fallen in previous days, the streets and sidewalks were pretty clear. We did not go far: from the train into the City, to the subway that goes to Lincoln Center (with an elevator), across the street after the concert for an early and enormous dinner, then across the street again for the subway and home. I was limping pretty badly from the hip problem, which is likely to be caused by the prednisone dose I am on: 40 mg. every morning at 3 a.m.
Prednisone does so much that is good and bad: the hip is the top of the iceberg: it's obvious. Who knows what else it is doing to wreck my system? Now that the pneumonia is gone, though, I should be able to start tapering under the directions of Dr. Mascarehas at Mr. Sinai [I spell out his name in full for practice: I am trying to learn how to pronounce it].
The NY Philharmonic concert was half disappointing: the 1st piece and better half was Beethoven's "E.-Flat major Septet for Clarinet, Bassoon, Horn, Violin, Cello and Double Bass, Op. 20," and though we have this on our iPod and listen to it as often as the huge music library Merwin has allows, it is wonderful to see the musicians at work. The second half seemed more for children than for adults: a Ravel (Suite from Ma Mère l'Oye (i.e. Mother Goose) and Barber, “Concerto for Violin and Orchestra, Op. 14.” Afterward, at dinner, our friend Naomi was complaining that though she had brought us into this subscription series a few years ago, WE and not she received a discount on the series this year: she thought at the very least she should also get the discount. I agree, and after this particular concert, I wonder if we should choose another venue for our occasional matinee get-together: Town Hall? Symphony Space?
We had made a reservation at Fiorello's to enjoy their huge selection of appetizers. We had been turned away from the place on a couple of occasions. As we left every table was squeezed together with barely any space for walking and a huge crowd stood in line for tables. I said to one of the waiters: “No Recession here!” and he responded “Absolutely not!” It's not as good a dining experience (IMOHO) as Sechuan Gourmet, since though that's crowded also it is less frenetic. They know me there, and I always make a reservation. Yesterday, we had fried artichokes (Jewish style, they said), Marguerita pizza, eggplant, and dessert. Yummy all, or almost all.
We three departed for our suburban homes, and I went almost straight to bed to read. I had a reasonably good night, with an extra hour or two of sleep because of a trick I have learned: when waking up at 5 a.m. or so, the usual time, I put on a warm nightgown that covers me from neck to ankles. I already had on loose, warm socks to help prevent cramps. With this extra warmth, I went right back to sleep! delicious.
Looking forward to a quiet day today.
Love to all,
Bernice
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Everything's all white
Dear family and friends,
It sometimes feels a little weird to write this blog, because it records none of the unpleasant or downright bad things that are happening all around us to friends and family—to say nothing of people in the world at large. So I would like to send up a hopeful, loving thought for all of our dear ones who are having problems with health—or anything else. That's vague enough, but some of you know who I mean.
Yesterday morning I made Ilona's son's girlfriend's polenta recipe as well as I could, and I think it came out very well, considering the lack of all the ingredients I needed: I used the roll of ready-made polenta, which happened to contain wild mushroom essence (not a bad thing). I would have made the polenta from scratch (I keep a bag of cornmeal in the freezer), but I wanted everything to be as simple as possible.
I cut the polenta roll into circles and placed them in a lightly olive-oiled 10 x 10 Pyrex pan. I emptied about the last third of a bag of chopped frozen onions into an olive-oiled frying pan and let it toast lightly until all the moisture had been eliminated and the little pieces were beginning to brown lightly. This is almost as good as cut-up fresh onion, and a lot easier.
Next I scrambled 2 eggs with a little water, mixed in the lightly browned onions, a little pepper, some red pepper too, for the heat that the original recipe added in a totally different way. I gave only a little shake of the red-pepper jar, because we don't like a lot of hot.
The scrambled eggs topped the polenta, and on top of that some very nice cheddar cheese. Can't use too much cheese. That of course is not in the original recipe, but cheese never hurts (except for those on low cholesterol diets, of course). Pop in oven, and when everything is nice and toasty, about 30 min. at 350, enjoy! Merwin liked this and I did too.
While polenta was working its way through the kitchen and our stomachs, I was also making soup. In the freezer, I found a container of non-meat vegetable base for soup, mostly shredded beets it looked like (labels would help when I put things away). I defrosted this, added a half quart of low-salt potato soup, and a lot of lentils. I had to thin this later with an additional 2 cups of stock. It simmered away all day long. I served it with a squeeze of fresh lemon juice, as in the Turkish restaurant we go to, but my soup, though good, was not as good as theirs.
Merwin insisted on snow-blowing the driveway and walk, and then shoveling where the snow-blower can't reach. All this makes me a little nervous. He does exercise regularly, so it's not as if he is going out there and exerting himself in a sudden burst. He enjoys doing this. Rather laste in the process a couple of teenagers came by to shovel, but it was too late. I told them, "Come early next time!"
Most of the day though was spent looking out at the beautiful snow, sitting at my desk, working on my essay. Merwin pulled me away from it to watch Thoroughly Modern Millie, which somehow I had never seen. It was very silly, and Merwin could not take it and left to go back to his work. I was hooked, however, enjoying the hokey plot and the singing and dancing. The upshot was that I was back in the study after midnight, checking out some new ideas for the essay. I have to add, change, adjust as I think of new ideas. Wow, it gets more complicated—but I hope better.
We are going into the City today, to the Philharmonic, hopeful that the City has cleared up the snow at Lincoln Center. We will meet Naomi there and return home this evening, not too late. It's another one of those lovely plans that are fun to think of for days in advance.
I hope this will be a good day for all of us.
Love,
Bernice
It sometimes feels a little weird to write this blog, because it records none of the unpleasant or downright bad things that are happening all around us to friends and family—to say nothing of people in the world at large. So I would like to send up a hopeful, loving thought for all of our dear ones who are having problems with health—or anything else. That's vague enough, but some of you know who I mean.
Yesterday morning I made Ilona's son's girlfriend's polenta recipe as well as I could, and I think it came out very well, considering the lack of all the ingredients I needed: I used the roll of ready-made polenta, which happened to contain wild mushroom essence (not a bad thing). I would have made the polenta from scratch (I keep a bag of cornmeal in the freezer), but I wanted everything to be as simple as possible.
I cut the polenta roll into circles and placed them in a lightly olive-oiled 10 x 10 Pyrex pan. I emptied about the last third of a bag of chopped frozen onions into an olive-oiled frying pan and let it toast lightly until all the moisture had been eliminated and the little pieces were beginning to brown lightly. This is almost as good as cut-up fresh onion, and a lot easier.
Next I scrambled 2 eggs with a little water, mixed in the lightly browned onions, a little pepper, some red pepper too, for the heat that the original recipe added in a totally different way. I gave only a little shake of the red-pepper jar, because we don't like a lot of hot.
The scrambled eggs topped the polenta, and on top of that some very nice cheddar cheese. Can't use too much cheese. That of course is not in the original recipe, but cheese never hurts (except for those on low cholesterol diets, of course). Pop in oven, and when everything is nice and toasty, about 30 min. at 350, enjoy! Merwin liked this and I did too.
While polenta was working its way through the kitchen and our stomachs, I was also making soup. In the freezer, I found a container of non-meat vegetable base for soup, mostly shredded beets it looked like (labels would help when I put things away). I defrosted this, added a half quart of low-salt potato soup, and a lot of lentils. I had to thin this later with an additional 2 cups of stock. It simmered away all day long. I served it with a squeeze of fresh lemon juice, as in the Turkish restaurant we go to, but my soup, though good, was not as good as theirs.
Merwin insisted on snow-blowing the driveway and walk, and then shoveling where the snow-blower can't reach. All this makes me a little nervous. He does exercise regularly, so it's not as if he is going out there and exerting himself in a sudden burst. He enjoys doing this. Rather laste in the process a couple of teenagers came by to shovel, but it was too late. I told them, "Come early next time!"
Most of the day though was spent looking out at the beautiful snow, sitting at my desk, working on my essay. Merwin pulled me away from it to watch Thoroughly Modern Millie, which somehow I had never seen. It was very silly, and Merwin could not take it and left to go back to his work. I was hooked, however, enjoying the hokey plot and the singing and dancing. The upshot was that I was back in the study after midnight, checking out some new ideas for the essay. I have to add, change, adjust as I think of new ideas. Wow, it gets more complicated—but I hope better.
We are going into the City today, to the Philharmonic, hopeful that the City has cleared up the snow at Lincoln Center. We will meet Naomi there and return home this evening, not too late. It's another one of those lovely plans that are fun to think of for days in advance.
I hope this will be a good day for all of us.
Love,
Bernice
Friday, February 26, 2010
Bright white day
Dear Friends and family,
If only we had known just how much snow we would get during this storm, we would have done a slightly more serious shop yesterday. As it is, we got lettuce, milk, cream, and a few other basics. But being snowed in makes me yearn to do some cooking, and I don't have the proper ingredients for anything I want to make. I will, then, make do.
Yesterday Ilona picked me and Gladys up and took us to RSNS, our synagogue, where we stuffed, labeled and stamped the monthly newsletter to go out in the mail today or tomorrow. This is the only volunteer work I do now. I have given up ushering in NYC. I have given up escorting at Planned Parenthood. I sit in the RSNS library, with friendly, knowledgeable people, working with our hands while we chat about books, movies and ideas. Always a pleasant couple of hours. Once a month, we and others meet for lunch at the Jolly Fisherman.
On the way home, Ilona sketched out a recipe that her son's Chinese girlfriend made on a recent visit. I wish I had some leeks on hand: I would try to do my own sort of version of i: it calls for special Chinese scallions, available only in Chinatown, I think. I took a roll of polenta out of the freezer this morning to see what I could do with what I have on hand. Polenta sounds so good; it's comfort food on this snowed-in day.
Earlier, the very nice installer had come to put up the new shades in the bedroom. I washed and folded the very dark curtains that I had pinned up after the room was painted, and voila, there was light, light, light. The shades are the kind that roll up entirely, making the windows look bare. I want to string up "angel lights," tiny bulbs above those windows and on the adjacent dark wall, above the pictures and books. I chatted with the installer about these sad days: he works 3 days a week now instead of 6 and cannot meet payments. We are doing our bit, I said to him, but of course it's not enough.
Yesterday was a day catching up on a variety of desk chores: One was responding to 2 papers for the seminar I am in at the Shakespeare Association Meeting in Chicago. I signed up to go, never really expecting I could travel to Chicago and participate in person. But there are communications ahead of time that I thought I could manage: I am to respond to 2 papers with 3 questions for the authors to consider responding to at the seminar itself. These two authors will respond to my paper in the same way, with questions for me to consider answering. It's a fun activity for me. My paper is on Measure for Measure, theirs, respectively, are on Othello and Troilus and Cressida, but all are on overhearing by characters and audiences in the three plays.
Next, I was asked to glance through a grant proposal for a seminar/workshop of high school teachers, and to write a short letter to indicate I would be willing to lead sessions for two days in August 2011. 2011! Well, you never know, right? Even though I have these blasts in my blood (not a good sign) and this hip pain, I am just taking things one day at a time, and not crossing out the possibilities for a future. I sent my letter off lickety-split.
Finally, Jay at the NYPL asked me to write a paragraph describing my Hamlet work. He likes to show the powers that be there that the denizens of the two study rooms are active scholars and writers.
And of course there were all the usual things that go on in a household: conversations with children and friends, doing the wash, and all the rest. We are thinking of all our friends who are in pain, wishing for them a good day today.
Love to all,
Bernice
If only we had known just how much snow we would get during this storm, we would have done a slightly more serious shop yesterday. As it is, we got lettuce, milk, cream, and a few other basics. But being snowed in makes me yearn to do some cooking, and I don't have the proper ingredients for anything I want to make. I will, then, make do.
Yesterday Ilona picked me and Gladys up and took us to RSNS, our synagogue, where we stuffed, labeled and stamped the monthly newsletter to go out in the mail today or tomorrow. This is the only volunteer work I do now. I have given up ushering in NYC. I have given up escorting at Planned Parenthood. I sit in the RSNS library, with friendly, knowledgeable people, working with our hands while we chat about books, movies and ideas. Always a pleasant couple of hours. Once a month, we and others meet for lunch at the Jolly Fisherman.
On the way home, Ilona sketched out a recipe that her son's Chinese girlfriend made on a recent visit. I wish I had some leeks on hand: I would try to do my own sort of version of i: it calls for special Chinese scallions, available only in Chinatown, I think. I took a roll of polenta out of the freezer this morning to see what I could do with what I have on hand. Polenta sounds so good; it's comfort food on this snowed-in day.
Earlier, the very nice installer had come to put up the new shades in the bedroom. I washed and folded the very dark curtains that I had pinned up after the room was painted, and voila, there was light, light, light. The shades are the kind that roll up entirely, making the windows look bare. I want to string up "angel lights," tiny bulbs above those windows and on the adjacent dark wall, above the pictures and books. I chatted with the installer about these sad days: he works 3 days a week now instead of 6 and cannot meet payments. We are doing our bit, I said to him, but of course it's not enough.
Yesterday was a day catching up on a variety of desk chores: One was responding to 2 papers for the seminar I am in at the Shakespeare Association Meeting in Chicago. I signed up to go, never really expecting I could travel to Chicago and participate in person. But there are communications ahead of time that I thought I could manage: I am to respond to 2 papers with 3 questions for the authors to consider responding to at the seminar itself. These two authors will respond to my paper in the same way, with questions for me to consider answering. It's a fun activity for me. My paper is on Measure for Measure, theirs, respectively, are on Othello and Troilus and Cressida, but all are on overhearing by characters and audiences in the three plays.
Next, I was asked to glance through a grant proposal for a seminar/workshop of high school teachers, and to write a short letter to indicate I would be willing to lead sessions for two days in August 2011. 2011! Well, you never know, right? Even though I have these blasts in my blood (not a good sign) and this hip pain, I am just taking things one day at a time, and not crossing out the possibilities for a future. I sent my letter off lickety-split.
Finally, Jay at the NYPL asked me to write a paragraph describing my Hamlet work. He likes to show the powers that be there that the denizens of the two study rooms are active scholars and writers.
And of course there were all the usual things that go on in a household: conversations with children and friends, doing the wash, and all the rest. We are thinking of all our friends who are in pain, wishing for them a good day today.
Love to all,
Bernice
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Does every up have to have a down?
Dear Friends and family,
So it seems. The good news from the pulmonologist is that the pneumonia is all gone, or at least so much so that we may as well say "all." When Dr. Janus walked into the examining room after comparing the last 2 xrays, she looked at me and said, "You're feeling better, I can tell." She was right. I had walked up multiple sets of stairs (in the subway system, for example) without having to rest, and I think I will be able to read my paper in two weeks without difficulty. Hooray! My O2 was 99!
Dr. Mascarehas from Mr. Sinai had sent her a comprehensive analysis of my condition based on our session over two weeks ago, and she was impressed by his analysis. He mentioned the trials I can't go on and the cure we can't try (stem cell transplant) for various reasons, but he hopes that there is at least one trial I can go on. The most interesting thing, scientifically, is that the lung condition may be the result of my bone marrow not working any more to make blood and something in the lungs tries to help, just as my gigantic spleen tries to help (and does help, I guess).
The main negative I am experiencing is my right hip: the possibility that the prednisone is causing deterioration of the bone is rather awful to contemplate, since a bout with prednisone has put my dear friend Ken Rothwell in a wheelchair for good. Dr. Janus mentioned that some people need a hip replacement after prednisone. So the hope is that the problem hasn't progressed too far yet, and when I see Dr. Mascarehas, he will tell me what to do. For this week, I stay on the prednisone. If I go off it (tapering gradually), I know I will miss the "up" effect it gives me.
The body is a curious animal.
My family does not want me to talk about them in any detail on my blog—that's something they can do on their blogs and on FaceBook. That's why I seldom mention them, but they are often in my thoughts, and we spend time with almost all of them by phone every day. Friends and famly are the center of everything.
The funniest thing happened yesterday: we got lost on the way to attend Toby's birthday party, and after bemoaning the state of Nassau County signage (unreadable even when present) and the failure of a few attempts to get directions via cell phone, Merwin and I opted for home, limping our way there after almost 2 hours of roaming. Of course we didn't take the GPS because we were going local and "knew" where we were going. Even a Nassau County map would have been a good idea. Oh well. We had some good moments together and wished Toby "Happy Birthday" by phone.
May your ups be much higher than your downs,
Love,
Bernice
So it seems. The good news from the pulmonologist is that the pneumonia is all gone, or at least so much so that we may as well say "all." When Dr. Janus walked into the examining room after comparing the last 2 xrays, she looked at me and said, "You're feeling better, I can tell." She was right. I had walked up multiple sets of stairs (in the subway system, for example) without having to rest, and I think I will be able to read my paper in two weeks without difficulty. Hooray! My O2 was 99!
Dr. Mascarehas from Mr. Sinai had sent her a comprehensive analysis of my condition based on our session over two weeks ago, and she was impressed by his analysis. He mentioned the trials I can't go on and the cure we can't try (stem cell transplant) for various reasons, but he hopes that there is at least one trial I can go on. The most interesting thing, scientifically, is that the lung condition may be the result of my bone marrow not working any more to make blood and something in the lungs tries to help, just as my gigantic spleen tries to help (and does help, I guess).
The main negative I am experiencing is my right hip: the possibility that the prednisone is causing deterioration of the bone is rather awful to contemplate, since a bout with prednisone has put my dear friend Ken Rothwell in a wheelchair for good. Dr. Janus mentioned that some people need a hip replacement after prednisone. So the hope is that the problem hasn't progressed too far yet, and when I see Dr. Mascarehas, he will tell me what to do. For this week, I stay on the prednisone. If I go off it (tapering gradually), I know I will miss the "up" effect it gives me.
The body is a curious animal.
My family does not want me to talk about them in any detail on my blog—that's something they can do on their blogs and on FaceBook. That's why I seldom mention them, but they are often in my thoughts, and we spend time with almost all of them by phone every day. Friends and famly are the center of everything.
The funniest thing happened yesterday: we got lost on the way to attend Toby's birthday party, and after bemoaning the state of Nassau County signage (unreadable even when present) and the failure of a few attempts to get directions via cell phone, Merwin and I opted for home, limping our way there after almost 2 hours of roaming. Of course we didn't take the GPS because we were going local and "knew" where we were going. Even a Nassau County map would have been a good idea. Oh well. We had some good moments together and wished Toby "Happy Birthday" by phone.
May your ups be much higher than your downs,
Love,
Bernice
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Good from not so good
Dear Family and friends,
As we waited for the train to NYC at Glen Head yesterday, we got a phone call from Mt. Sinai, a secretary calling to say that our appointment had to be deferred for a week. Disappointment is an interesting word in this context, isn't it. But as it turned out, though it means waiting another week to get started on something meaningful for my worsening condition, much good came of it anyway.
Once in NYC, we went to the NYPL so I could order some books for the next day, and Merwin took off for the Acorn Theater in Theater Row to get tickets to the revival of a Sam Shepherd play. I was to receive his phone call, telling me about available dates and he would then buy the tickets. But I messed up: I did not take my calendar with me when I went to confer with a librarian about a book I need. So the call came, and I had no idea about free days. I decided to go for one I could remember, the day after our next appointment at Mr. Sinai, so that's what Merwin got. We picked up some sandwiches for lunch at Pret a Manger, a British chain that we like a lot. I have been trying to duplicate the sandwich, but don't get it exactly right. I think it is because of the superior quality of their basil.
Here is the basic sandwich as I understand it: ripe avocado spread on on one side of very good whole wheat bread, topped with thinly sliced tomatoes, a few toasted pine nuts, some excellent shaved Parmesan cheese, and very fresh basil leaves. Everything is in balance, nothing in excess.
We rested in the afternoon for the evening plans: meeting with Rhoda and Sami at the Amsterdam cafe for supper, a little later joined by Laury. We three from NCC shared some good recollections about our pasts at the college (where we worked until retirement). Rhoda now teaches physics at the Liberal Studies division of NYU, but she remembers fondly the camaraderie of NCC. Nothing like that at NYU. Office doors were always open and people communicated with each other, and of course the active learning project got all the disciplines together. Sami rents an apartment for one week of every month and has a great time reading, going to lectures, leading a science-oriented book group and the like. Laury, of course, has not yet retired, but is looking forward to a couple of weeks between trimesters.
After dinner Laury, Merwin and I wernt to the 3rd Schoff lecture by Jean Howard, about Carol Churchill. It was brilliant, of course, but since I know so much less about CC than about WS (the topic of her first lecture), I couldn't appreciate it as much as it deserved. Laury, on the other hand, does know Churchill’s work and could better appreciate Jean's brilliance. After the lecture, Laury drove us home to our studio apartment.
The next day, we shopped for breakfast at Zeytinz, next door, washed a load of clothes, and took off for the library. A book or two was there for me, and Merwin did a lot of xeroxing for me. One book was missing. Merwin found Jay, whom I had introduced him to the day before, to ask about it, and before long Jay came into the Allen Room with the book! What a gem he is. Merwin xeroxed a few pages from that also, and also some from N&Q that I needed. I also worked on two huge volumes of TLS and got them off my shelf. We went to the apartment for lunch, rest, Internet shopping for an additional towel rack, and tidying up before leaving for Glen Head.
Once here, we enjoyed the bounty of the freezer for a quick supper. And now it is almost time for bed.
If the appt at Mr. Sinai had worked out, I would never have had the time or energy to work in the library and get so many of the items I wanted to look at for the essay I am completing. And so it goes: what seems bad at first can work out for the best, as Pollyanna says. (Have I mentioned that the Pollyanna books were among my favorites before I met Nancy Drew?). Of course we are eager to know if this pain in my hip is a feature of Myelo fibrosis or just something pulled. But my breathing is much better. I think I am going to have a good report from the pulmonologist tomorrow: O2 still 96, which is very good, and I don't have to stop on stairs anymore because of breathing problems. Hooray, while one system goes down, another goes up.
More tomorrow,
Love,
Bernice
As we waited for the train to NYC at Glen Head yesterday, we got a phone call from Mt. Sinai, a secretary calling to say that our appointment had to be deferred for a week. Disappointment is an interesting word in this context, isn't it. But as it turned out, though it means waiting another week to get started on something meaningful for my worsening condition, much good came of it anyway.
Once in NYC, we went to the NYPL so I could order some books for the next day, and Merwin took off for the Acorn Theater in Theater Row to get tickets to the revival of a Sam Shepherd play. I was to receive his phone call, telling me about available dates and he would then buy the tickets. But I messed up: I did not take my calendar with me when I went to confer with a librarian about a book I need. So the call came, and I had no idea about free days. I decided to go for one I could remember, the day after our next appointment at Mr. Sinai, so that's what Merwin got. We picked up some sandwiches for lunch at Pret a Manger, a British chain that we like a lot. I have been trying to duplicate the sandwich, but don't get it exactly right. I think it is because of the superior quality of their basil.
Here is the basic sandwich as I understand it: ripe avocado spread on on one side of very good whole wheat bread, topped with thinly sliced tomatoes, a few toasted pine nuts, some excellent shaved Parmesan cheese, and very fresh basil leaves. Everything is in balance, nothing in excess.
We rested in the afternoon for the evening plans: meeting with Rhoda and Sami at the Amsterdam cafe for supper, a little later joined by Laury. We three from NCC shared some good recollections about our pasts at the college (where we worked until retirement). Rhoda now teaches physics at the Liberal Studies division of NYU, but she remembers fondly the camaraderie of NCC. Nothing like that at NYU. Office doors were always open and people communicated with each other, and of course the active learning project got all the disciplines together. Sami rents an apartment for one week of every month and has a great time reading, going to lectures, leading a science-oriented book group and the like. Laury, of course, has not yet retired, but is looking forward to a couple of weeks between trimesters.
After dinner Laury, Merwin and I wernt to the 3rd Schoff lecture by Jean Howard, about Carol Churchill. It was brilliant, of course, but since I know so much less about CC than about WS (the topic of her first lecture), I couldn't appreciate it as much as it deserved. Laury, on the other hand, does know Churchill’s work and could better appreciate Jean's brilliance. After the lecture, Laury drove us home to our studio apartment.
The next day, we shopped for breakfast at Zeytinz, next door, washed a load of clothes, and took off for the library. A book or two was there for me, and Merwin did a lot of xeroxing for me. One book was missing. Merwin found Jay, whom I had introduced him to the day before, to ask about it, and before long Jay came into the Allen Room with the book! What a gem he is. Merwin xeroxed a few pages from that also, and also some from N&Q that I needed. I also worked on two huge volumes of TLS and got them off my shelf. We went to the apartment for lunch, rest, Internet shopping for an additional towel rack, and tidying up before leaving for Glen Head.
Once here, we enjoyed the bounty of the freezer for a quick supper. And now it is almost time for bed.
If the appt at Mr. Sinai had worked out, I would never have had the time or energy to work in the library and get so many of the items I wanted to look at for the essay I am completing. And so it goes: what seems bad at first can work out for the best, as Pollyanna says. (Have I mentioned that the Pollyanna books were among my favorites before I met Nancy Drew?). Of course we are eager to know if this pain in my hip is a feature of Myelo fibrosis or just something pulled. But my breathing is much better. I think I am going to have a good report from the pulmonologist tomorrow: O2 still 96, which is very good, and I don't have to stop on stairs anymore because of breathing problems. Hooray, while one system goes down, another goes up.
More tomorrow,
Love,
Bernice
Monday, February 22, 2010
Big doings afoot
Dear family and friends,
I am looking forward to today with a lot of happy excitement, but I'll write about our NYC trip after it all unfolds. This morning, I will write about our delightful Sunday at home.
The high point of course was the visit from the Lavins: Sophie, Brendan, Gracie, Katie, and Sarah. The three girls now know us and come in with happy smiles. Though their house in Locust Valley is about 5x the size of ours, the girls like the hidden nooks and crannies in ours, especially the present closet that Merwin built into the slanted "attic" behind a regular closet. Wow! lots of things to explore. They decided to put on some shows for us, using the props from the closet. Gracie (who is in 2nd grade) was invariably the leader, but the others were either fully engaged as her helpful adjuncts or leaders in their own songs, dances, acrobatics, and more. What energy! What verve! Really impressive. Reminded Merwin and me of our granddaughters who used to like to put on shows for us also. some 20 years ago!
Otherwise, it was the usual: a new recipe, email consultations of all sorts, work on Hamlet, and finally ending up with the Olympics interspersed with an abbreviated version of Jane Austen's Persuasion on Channel 13. It lacked some of our favorite parts from this production, but it was a nice reminder of the delicious whole.
The recipe is not quite as wonderful as Mark Bittman describes it (March 11, 2009), perhaps, but good enough--and easy. Here is my adaptation: Mashed Potatoes with Arugula (or any other bitter green)
Heat oven to 400 if you want to make the dish right away.
Prepare two large Yukon Gold potatoes by scrubbing and removing any eyes but leaving them unpeeled. Cut into quarters, and drop into a 3 qt. pot of cold, freshly drawn water, with salt added. Boil until just tender, about 1/2 hour.
Meanwhile, wash the Arugula or other bitter green thoroughly and spin dry.
Take the potatoes out of the pot with a slotted spoon and put into a 8 x 8 square pan for mashing and, later, baking. You want to use the hot water to briefly cook the greens for one minute: dump them in the boiling potato water.
Pour the Arugula into a strainer and chop it up.
Mash the potatoes right in the baking dish with enough good olive oil to make it light. I used a fork. You can use a beater or whatever. Add the chopped Arugula and lots of pepper and more salt if you like. Smooth the mix in the pan and sprinkle with 1 C homemade breadcrumbs. Drizzles with more olive oil. Altogether 1/4 to 1/2 C of olive oil.
I always keep a supply of homemade bread crumbs in the freezer: they are so much better than store-bought ones, which contain so many odd ingredients besides the bread itself.
The potato-Arugula mix can go right into the oven for about 15 minutes until the crumbs are nicely crisp and brown, or you can set it aside for later. It is good hot or warm or even room temperature once it is baked. It is better, in fact, on reheating.
Nice side dish, or for potato freaks like me even as a main dish. Note that it's parve, can be used for meat or milk meals.
The sun is shining, and off we go to the City for an exciting day, which I hope will not exacerbate the hip problem. Tylenol to the rescue!
Love to all,
Bernice
I am looking forward to today with a lot of happy excitement, but I'll write about our NYC trip after it all unfolds. This morning, I will write about our delightful Sunday at home.
The high point of course was the visit from the Lavins: Sophie, Brendan, Gracie, Katie, and Sarah. The three girls now know us and come in with happy smiles. Though their house in Locust Valley is about 5x the size of ours, the girls like the hidden nooks and crannies in ours, especially the present closet that Merwin built into the slanted "attic" behind a regular closet. Wow! lots of things to explore. They decided to put on some shows for us, using the props from the closet. Gracie (who is in 2nd grade) was invariably the leader, but the others were either fully engaged as her helpful adjuncts or leaders in their own songs, dances, acrobatics, and more. What energy! What verve! Really impressive. Reminded Merwin and me of our granddaughters who used to like to put on shows for us also. some 20 years ago!
Otherwise, it was the usual: a new recipe, email consultations of all sorts, work on Hamlet, and finally ending up with the Olympics interspersed with an abbreviated version of Jane Austen's Persuasion on Channel 13. It lacked some of our favorite parts from this production, but it was a nice reminder of the delicious whole.
The recipe is not quite as wonderful as Mark Bittman describes it (March 11, 2009), perhaps, but good enough--and easy. Here is my adaptation: Mashed Potatoes with Arugula (or any other bitter green)
Heat oven to 400 if you want to make the dish right away.
Prepare two large Yukon Gold potatoes by scrubbing and removing any eyes but leaving them unpeeled. Cut into quarters, and drop into a 3 qt. pot of cold, freshly drawn water, with salt added. Boil until just tender, about 1/2 hour.
Meanwhile, wash the Arugula or other bitter green thoroughly and spin dry.
Take the potatoes out of the pot with a slotted spoon and put into a 8 x 8 square pan for mashing and, later, baking. You want to use the hot water to briefly cook the greens for one minute: dump them in the boiling potato water.
Pour the Arugula into a strainer and chop it up.
Mash the potatoes right in the baking dish with enough good olive oil to make it light. I used a fork. You can use a beater or whatever. Add the chopped Arugula and lots of pepper and more salt if you like. Smooth the mix in the pan and sprinkle with 1 C homemade breadcrumbs. Drizzles with more olive oil. Altogether 1/4 to 1/2 C of olive oil.
I always keep a supply of homemade bread crumbs in the freezer: they are so much better than store-bought ones, which contain so many odd ingredients besides the bread itself.
The potato-Arugula mix can go right into the oven for about 15 minutes until the crumbs are nicely crisp and brown, or you can set it aside for later. It is good hot or warm or even room temperature once it is baked. It is better, in fact, on reheating.
Nice side dish, or for potato freaks like me even as a main dish. Note that it's parve, can be used for meat or milk meals.
The sun is shining, and off we go to the City for an exciting day, which I hope will not exacerbate the hip problem. Tylenol to the rescue!
Love to all,
Bernice
Sunday, February 21, 2010
The Sun shines bright
Dear family and friends,
If it weren't for this painful hip, my days would be very pleasant, with their usual combination of people, appreciation of the outdoors, outings, cooking, working, and the rest. Days slip by so smoothly, that if I didn't write down some of what happened I would not be able to distinguish one day from another.
Best parts: talking to my grandson, the one and only among the five grandchildren. I wanted to send him a nice birthday present of his choice but had written to the wrong email address, and he had not gotten my message on the day itself. So that was taken care of on the spot. I am hoping he will come to visit when his Dad comes in a couple of weeks.
I think I am very lucky that my condition is slowly evolving (or devolving). It gives me time to think about what is important to me and allows me the serenity to accept it fairly gracefully. I contrast that gift of time with the weeks' long illness of a friend. Lung cancer, and just a few weeks from diagnosis to hospice. I have time, though, to urge my loved ones to make their pilgrimages while I am in good shape.
Merwin took me shopping at T.J. Maxx, one of my favorite stores. The hip slows me down considerably, but we managed. Then to the Italian place for stuffed shells, which I will serve for lunch with sauce. Then to the bakery for some goodies, including some biscotti for me.
Laury did some shopping for me at Costco, and then came for lunch and a good afternoon of work on Measure for Measure. I think this is the longest sessions I have been able to spend with her on the play, about 3 and 1/2 hours. It was intense, serious, meaningful work, and taught us both a lot as we tried to figure out what Isabel was saying.
The evening continued with another easy meal of veggie burgers and salad, more work on my own, phone calls & email with plans for the future, and Olympic thrills. A good day, a precious gift.
Love to all,
Bernice
If it weren't for this painful hip, my days would be very pleasant, with their usual combination of people, appreciation of the outdoors, outings, cooking, working, and the rest. Days slip by so smoothly, that if I didn't write down some of what happened I would not be able to distinguish one day from another.
Best parts: talking to my grandson, the one and only among the five grandchildren. I wanted to send him a nice birthday present of his choice but had written to the wrong email address, and he had not gotten my message on the day itself. So that was taken care of on the spot. I am hoping he will come to visit when his Dad comes in a couple of weeks.
I think I am very lucky that my condition is slowly evolving (or devolving). It gives me time to think about what is important to me and allows me the serenity to accept it fairly gracefully. I contrast that gift of time with the weeks' long illness of a friend. Lung cancer, and just a few weeks from diagnosis to hospice. I have time, though, to urge my loved ones to make their pilgrimages while I am in good shape.
Merwin took me shopping at T.J. Maxx, one of my favorite stores. The hip slows me down considerably, but we managed. Then to the Italian place for stuffed shells, which I will serve for lunch with sauce. Then to the bakery for some goodies, including some biscotti for me.
Laury did some shopping for me at Costco, and then came for lunch and a good afternoon of work on Measure for Measure. I think this is the longest sessions I have been able to spend with her on the play, about 3 and 1/2 hours. It was intense, serious, meaningful work, and taught us both a lot as we tried to figure out what Isabel was saying.
The evening continued with another easy meal of veggie burgers and salad, more work on my own, phone calls & email with plans for the future, and Olympic thrills. A good day, a precious gift.
Love to all,
Bernice
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Waking with a smile
Dear family and friends,
What a pleasure to wake up as usual at 5 a.m. but then fall back asleep for another 90 minutes! I am still smiling now. Last night ended with a terrible pain in my hip, but with the help of some stronger-than-usual meds, the heating pad, and sleep, it is better this morning. The problem with any pain is this: did I just hurt something at one of exercise classes? Or is this the "condition" rearing up its ugly head?
Because of the hip and work on my desk of all kinds, it was a very quiet day. I had a yen to make a potato salad for supper, which is rather weird in mid-winter. Here's what I did:
Lots of chopped onions and celery, 1 large Yukon gold potato, sliced and boiled in lightly salted water, then drained and dried a bit in the toaster oven, and cut up a bit more. 5 hard boiled eggs: the method I use is to boil water, use a spoon to place the eggs in the water, then cover the pot and turn off the burner. In about 25 minutes, the eggs are perfectly done. I use an egg slicer to cut the eggs up, lengthwise and cross wise. Dress the salad with mayo mixed with tiny bit of good mustard. We had Merwin's lovely romaine salad on the side.
We took a short ride down to the Sea Cliff beach to enjoy the snowy scene, the great sky-scape and the rough water. We are so lucky to live so close to many waterways and beaches.
Not much excitement in the offing until we go to the City on Monday, just pleasant days of music, companionship, phone conversations with our sons and others, and of course food! Nothing wrong with my appetite.
Love to all,
Bernice
What a pleasure to wake up as usual at 5 a.m. but then fall back asleep for another 90 minutes! I am still smiling now. Last night ended with a terrible pain in my hip, but with the help of some stronger-than-usual meds, the heating pad, and sleep, it is better this morning. The problem with any pain is this: did I just hurt something at one of exercise classes? Or is this the "condition" rearing up its ugly head?
Because of the hip and work on my desk of all kinds, it was a very quiet day. I had a yen to make a potato salad for supper, which is rather weird in mid-winter. Here's what I did:
Lots of chopped onions and celery, 1 large Yukon gold potato, sliced and boiled in lightly salted water, then drained and dried a bit in the toaster oven, and cut up a bit more. 5 hard boiled eggs: the method I use is to boil water, use a spoon to place the eggs in the water, then cover the pot and turn off the burner. In about 25 minutes, the eggs are perfectly done. I use an egg slicer to cut the eggs up, lengthwise and cross wise. Dress the salad with mayo mixed with tiny bit of good mustard. We had Merwin's lovely romaine salad on the side.
We took a short ride down to the Sea Cliff beach to enjoy the snowy scene, the great sky-scape and the rough water. We are so lucky to live so close to many waterways and beaches.
Not much excitement in the offing until we go to the City on Monday, just pleasant days of music, companionship, phone conversations with our sons and others, and of course food! Nothing wrong with my appetite.
Love to all,
Bernice
Friday, February 19, 2010
A good day, mostly
Dear family and friends,
On Thursday, Merwin and I drove to a very quiet NCC, where the library was open but otherwise hardly anything was stirring. I wanted to pick up a book that Alicia had gotten for me from ILL, and I also wanted to xerox some pages from the OED. For the latter task, Veta Ingleton, librarian, and Shunelle Nevers, student aide, sprang to our aid and the 5 pages or so were competently xeroxed on large sheets. I have those very pages in my small-print OED at home, but now, even with the magnifying glass, I cannot read them easily. The entries I was interested in are for my essay: what are the meanings of play, playd [so spelled]. playing and the like in the seventeenth century. All that effort yielded about five words in a footnote, but it is worth it to me.
The ILL book, on the other hand, turned out to be the wrong edition-—right title, wrong publishing date—so Alicia will try again.
After the library, we stopped at Pathmark for a few things, which of course expanded exponentially as we walked around. Then we hurried home so I could make Merwin's mid-day, main meal.
I tried a recipe from the cookbook that Anna J. S. sent me from Alabama: Southern Fried Matzah. I like turning over the pages and reading these very homey recipes, many familiar from my own family. This one worked out well.
Sweet and Hot Chicken: preheat oven to 350.
The recipe calls for 6 skinless chicken breasts with the bones; I used turkey breast cutlets cut into portion lengths.
Mix together 1 can of whole berry cranberry sauce and 1 jar of mild salsa in a long Pyrex baking pan. Add the turkey strips and mix well.
I also added a bag of frozen string beans, so it would be a one-dish meal, with salad on the side.
Bake uncovered for 45 minutes to an hour, until turkey is cooked through. Could anything be easier?
Merwin liked this very much. He ate about 1/5 of it and packed the rest for the freezer. Unlike me, he doesn't like to eat the same thing, meal after meal, but it's great to have little treasures at hand.
I had a vegetarian pizza for both lunch and supper.
I worked on my essay only till the Olympics called. But the Carol Burnett show, which we were flipping to during commercials, actually caught our attention even more. We are amazed at all the manifest abilities and daring on so many fronts.
A nice quiet day, marred only by an increasingly painful right hip. It's better this morning. Of course there were the usual emails, phone calls, and all the rest, including review tickets for a second viewing of Measure for Measure, and the promise of an interview with the director and a copy of her script, as cut for performance. Nice things like that are always flowing around me, keeping this smile on my face.
See you later,
Love,
Bernice
On Thursday, Merwin and I drove to a very quiet NCC, where the library was open but otherwise hardly anything was stirring. I wanted to pick up a book that Alicia had gotten for me from ILL, and I also wanted to xerox some pages from the OED. For the latter task, Veta Ingleton, librarian, and Shunelle Nevers, student aide, sprang to our aid and the 5 pages or so were competently xeroxed on large sheets. I have those very pages in my small-print OED at home, but now, even with the magnifying glass, I cannot read them easily. The entries I was interested in are for my essay: what are the meanings of play, playd [so spelled]. playing and the like in the seventeenth century. All that effort yielded about five words in a footnote, but it is worth it to me.
The ILL book, on the other hand, turned out to be the wrong edition-—right title, wrong publishing date—so Alicia will try again.
After the library, we stopped at Pathmark for a few things, which of course expanded exponentially as we walked around. Then we hurried home so I could make Merwin's mid-day, main meal.
I tried a recipe from the cookbook that Anna J. S. sent me from Alabama: Southern Fried Matzah. I like turning over the pages and reading these very homey recipes, many familiar from my own family. This one worked out well.
Sweet and Hot Chicken: preheat oven to 350.
The recipe calls for 6 skinless chicken breasts with the bones; I used turkey breast cutlets cut into portion lengths.
Mix together 1 can of whole berry cranberry sauce and 1 jar of mild salsa in a long Pyrex baking pan. Add the turkey strips and mix well.
I also added a bag of frozen string beans, so it would be a one-dish meal, with salad on the side.
Bake uncovered for 45 minutes to an hour, until turkey is cooked through. Could anything be easier?
Merwin liked this very much. He ate about 1/5 of it and packed the rest for the freezer. Unlike me, he doesn't like to eat the same thing, meal after meal, but it's great to have little treasures at hand.
I had a vegetarian pizza for both lunch and supper.
I worked on my essay only till the Olympics called. But the Carol Burnett show, which we were flipping to during commercials, actually caught our attention even more. We are amazed at all the manifest abilities and daring on so many fronts.
A nice quiet day, marred only by an increasingly painful right hip. It's better this morning. Of course there were the usual emails, phone calls, and all the rest, including review tickets for a second viewing of Measure for Measure, and the promise of an interview with the director and a copy of her script, as cut for performance. Nice things like that are always flowing around me, keeping this smile on my face.
See you later,
Love,
Bernice
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Smiling already
Dear family and friends,
It's amazing what sunshine will do for one’s spirit. When I left this morning for SPIN, the sun was just beginning to rise; now, back at home, it is full-blast sunshine. Some of the snowballs remain, and the snow I see from my study is still pristine.
Yesterday's highlight, I guess, was getting a manicure and pedicure. Such a treat. There were lots of emails and phone calls, and near the end of the day I had a great time making discoveries that will be part of the paper I will read next month. It’s so much fun to get that "ah-ha" moment, and then to work out the thought in writing that conveys the idea forcefully to others. I cannot hope that everyone will agree with my controversial theories, but it is fun to think of the most jaundiced audience and somehow making them come around through the force of my argument. Well, we'll see. I will do my best.
My O2 level has come up to 96, which is really good, so I am hopeful that I will be able to read my paper myself. Next week I see Dr. Janus, the pulmonologist, and I am hoping the pneumonia will be much diminished if not gone completely. Climbing stairs is still a problem, but there are elevators all over, and buses are better than the subway. One can adjust. I am still a little shaky when walking, but all I need is Merwin's strong arm to steady me: it's the prednisone effect, and when Dr. Janus says that I can begin to taper, the shakiness will disappear, I hope.
After working, I enjoyed watching the Olympic athletes, taking such risks, trying so hard to perfect their art. The Pipe was fantastic. The athletes' work is mental AND physical; their concentration is palpable; the stakes are so very high. It's a thrill—and also a reality check. Lots of people all over try to do the best they can. That's what I want to do every day.
Love to all,
Bernice
It's amazing what sunshine will do for one’s spirit. When I left this morning for SPIN, the sun was just beginning to rise; now, back at home, it is full-blast sunshine. Some of the snowballs remain, and the snow I see from my study is still pristine.
Yesterday's highlight, I guess, was getting a manicure and pedicure. Such a treat. There were lots of emails and phone calls, and near the end of the day I had a great time making discoveries that will be part of the paper I will read next month. It’s so much fun to get that "ah-ha" moment, and then to work out the thought in writing that conveys the idea forcefully to others. I cannot hope that everyone will agree with my controversial theories, but it is fun to think of the most jaundiced audience and somehow making them come around through the force of my argument. Well, we'll see. I will do my best.
My O2 level has come up to 96, which is really good, so I am hopeful that I will be able to read my paper myself. Next week I see Dr. Janus, the pulmonologist, and I am hoping the pneumonia will be much diminished if not gone completely. Climbing stairs is still a problem, but there are elevators all over, and buses are better than the subway. One can adjust. I am still a little shaky when walking, but all I need is Merwin's strong arm to steady me: it's the prednisone effect, and when Dr. Janus says that I can begin to taper, the shakiness will disappear, I hope.
After working, I enjoyed watching the Olympic athletes, taking such risks, trying so hard to perfect their art. The Pipe was fantastic. The athletes' work is mental AND physical; their concentration is palpable; the stakes are so very high. It's a thrill—and also a reality check. Lots of people all over try to do the best they can. That's what I want to do every day.
Love to all,
Bernice
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Another quiet day
Dear family and friends,
The highlight of the day was a visit to our dear Dr. K, who was joined by a nurse-practitioner-to-be, Bryan. The whole process takes about 3 hours out of our day, but fortunately there was little else we had to do. Dr. K spoke to Dr. M from Mt Sinai while we were there and clarified a number of issues. We see him next Tues. Before getting into a trial, I have to be off my chemo (HU) for three weeks. That should be interesting. The WBC had gone down drastically, from about 161 to about 96 (normal 11-14, I believe). That's from a 2000 mg dose of HU instead of my usual 500 mg. And the platelets didn't fall below 100. So all is moving in a good direction.
I didn't even have to cook anything. Merwin had a bit of leftover chicken francaise for a sort of lunch, and then for supper what remained of the last turkey thigh with carrots and Lima beans, which he ate with gusto. I had an avocado sandwich for supper. One of his good salads finished off our meal. Then we watched the Olympic skaters till I fell asleep. Of course I woke up a couple of hours later, went to the computer, read emails and wrote some, and watched Bill Maher who was interviewed by Larry King from midnight to 1 a.m. This was straightforwardly outrageous Bill Maher, not playing the comedian, but just telling it as he sees it. And since I agree with just about everything he says, and enjoy the way he says it, I liked that a lot.
And why doesn't Pres. Obama let the Republicans filibuster; let the voters see them actually bringing the government to a halt? Use the power of reconciliation to pass the Senate bill, with one important change: start right away to fund the uninsured. That would be enormously helpful to those who have lost their jobs and their health insurance. So it would help solve both problems. I have signed up with the Dems to spend 2 hours a week on the health care issues.
Other than that, I am going to see Measure for Measure again in a couple of weeks, so I can write a decent essay about it. And of course before then I am working on my essay for the Columbia Shakespeare Seminar. I hope to be finished soon, but I keep on thinking of more information I need to look up at the library--responses to any and all objections (I hope) to my thesis. So that means NYPL work next week.
The sun is shining, the snowballs on the trees are delightful, and it is a happy moment, spending the early day with you.
Love to all,
Bernice
The highlight of the day was a visit to our dear Dr. K, who was joined by a nurse-practitioner-to-be, Bryan. The whole process takes about 3 hours out of our day, but fortunately there was little else we had to do. Dr. K spoke to Dr. M from Mt Sinai while we were there and clarified a number of issues. We see him next Tues. Before getting into a trial, I have to be off my chemo (HU) for three weeks. That should be interesting. The WBC had gone down drastically, from about 161 to about 96 (normal 11-14, I believe). That's from a 2000 mg dose of HU instead of my usual 500 mg. And the platelets didn't fall below 100. So all is moving in a good direction.
I didn't even have to cook anything. Merwin had a bit of leftover chicken francaise for a sort of lunch, and then for supper what remained of the last turkey thigh with carrots and Lima beans, which he ate with gusto. I had an avocado sandwich for supper. One of his good salads finished off our meal. Then we watched the Olympic skaters till I fell asleep. Of course I woke up a couple of hours later, went to the computer, read emails and wrote some, and watched Bill Maher who was interviewed by Larry King from midnight to 1 a.m. This was straightforwardly outrageous Bill Maher, not playing the comedian, but just telling it as he sees it. And since I agree with just about everything he says, and enjoy the way he says it, I liked that a lot.
And why doesn't Pres. Obama let the Republicans filibuster; let the voters see them actually bringing the government to a halt? Use the power of reconciliation to pass the Senate bill, with one important change: start right away to fund the uninsured. That would be enormously helpful to those who have lost their jobs and their health insurance. So it would help solve both problems. I have signed up with the Dems to spend 2 hours a week on the health care issues.
Other than that, I am going to see Measure for Measure again in a couple of weeks, so I can write a decent essay about it. And of course before then I am working on my essay for the Columbia Shakespeare Seminar. I hope to be finished soon, but I keep on thinking of more information I need to look up at the library--responses to any and all objections (I hope) to my thesis. So that means NYPL work next week.
The sun is shining, the snowballs on the trees are delightful, and it is a happy moment, spending the early day with you.
Love to all,
Bernice
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Waking up to cotton balls on the trees
Dear Friends and family,
Woke up at 5 a.m. as usual today, but looking out the window in the dark I decided it would not be a good day to go to the SPIN class. The driveway had only about 2 " of snow at that time, so I was sure to get up the driveway into the street, but the snow was still coming down and I thought better of it. Ah, a couple of hours to myself. Just as well after a rather strenuous couple of days with company to take a bit of time off before going to Dr. K this afternoon.
Yesterday, after a breakfast of bagels, lox, ricotta, yogurt, frozen blueberries, coffee, etc., José Ramón and I spent a lot of time sobre mesa, i.e. hanging out at the table. JR had not had his usual bagels in DC because of the unusual snow all week and was very happy with our petite mini-bagels. Dawn, who was not teaching because of the holiday, phoned and asked if she could come for a brief visit. When she arrived she and JR realized they had met before and had had a Passover Seder together here (with Jesús), which she had virtually led. We chatted away happily about this and that.
JR very kindly downloaded reviews of the book Latin American Shakespeares that Rick and I had co-edited a few years ago; the first sentence of one published in Brazil says “This is an extraordinary book that compiles various approaches to the influences of Shakespeare in Latin American literary, dramatic and performance acts ranging from the nineteenth century to the present.” Whoopie! Nice to be appreciated. And I enjoy so much working with friends.
We discussed JR's impressive bibliographic works: he is demand all over for his meticulous research into and description of Shakespearean works on film and criticism of those films. The organizers of the biennial conference (this year in Le Harve) on particular plays always want him to participate, both as a critic of a particular film (often a rare film) and as a compiler of filmographies. The good news for my work is that this year the conference is on Hamlet, and as I may have mentioned already I have submitted a paper to be read for me by Michèle and a fuller version to be published in the conference volume. And even better, JR is compiling an enormous filmography and bib of Hamlet on film. We discussed the possibility of his having our website hamletworks.org publish his work for the le Harve conference. It will be somewhat expanded, possibly, and have a somewhat different format from the version in the conference book. But I will confer with Sarah and Nathalie, the conference organizers, to see what they say.
Eating generally takes place at different times during the day as hunger rises, so JR and Dawn ate the soup I had prepared for lunch, while Merwin and I had it later. Dawn wanted to know how I made it, and I am trying to reconstruct it. Soup changes all the time, from day to day, and from pot to pot. Here is this one as near as I can recall:
1. Ahead of time. Preheat oven to 450; pan roast 5 or 6 red peppers and 1 large but lightweight eggplant (to minimize the number of bitter seeds). Turn occasionally to char the skin and soften the flesh. I think this usually takes about 20 minutes: watch carefully so as not to burn. When the veggies are charred, remove them carefully into a firm paper bag, and close them in. When the veggies are cool enough to handle but still warm, remove the skin and seeds and stems from the peppers, and scrape the flesh from the eggplant skin.
2. Puree the vegetable pulp. This goes into the freezer as a base for soup or can be used right away of course.
3. I always start a soup pot with heated olive oil, to which I add chopped onions, carrots, and celery, especially the green tops if I have them. Saute very slowly so as to almost melt the onions. I chopped up a little bit of ginger too and added it to the pot at this stage.
4. Add the pepper puree. This is very thick, so you need to thin it with a lot of vegetable broth. There can be various kinds. I use low-sodium versions sold in boxes or sometimes a tablet dissolved in water.
5. Add about 1/2 large can of whole plum tomatoes, chopped up a bit, with their juices. I also added a cooked veggie burger, broken into bits.
6. Separately, make any fine pasta that will be added to each bowl as you serve it.
7. Pass grated cheese to be sprinkled on top. Serve with crusty bread.
I am sure I have forgotten something. When I make soup, I look into the fridge and freezer to see what is available, and add accordingly. Dawn and JR added some basil leaves (I keep herbs in the freezer) as a garnish. Lemon juice squeezed in is also good.
I was able to relax with my good friends, Dawn and JR, lying down whenever necessary, and yet participating in conversation, both personal and professional.
When JR left with Merwin for the airport at about 5:15 p.m., I went to bed, falling asleep while watching the "News Report" on ch. 21. Oh, if only I knew how to fall asleep at will! I woke right at the end: so it was really about a 30-min. nap. When Merwin arrived for dinner (a sandwich of leftover Chicken Francaise from the freezer and fresh vegetables on the side), I joined him in watching the "News Hour" on ch. 13.
On another note, I asked The Shakespeare Newsletter editor John Mahon if he'd like me to review the Measure for Measure that Laury and I saw on Sunday. He was enthusiastic, very positive. So I'll try to fit that in somewhere.
Friends, family, work, play—to say nothing of my surroundings—make life precious and meaningful. I like to share these pleasures with you.
Love,
Bernice
Woke up at 5 a.m. as usual today, but looking out the window in the dark I decided it would not be a good day to go to the SPIN class. The driveway had only about 2 " of snow at that time, so I was sure to get up the driveway into the street, but the snow was still coming down and I thought better of it. Ah, a couple of hours to myself. Just as well after a rather strenuous couple of days with company to take a bit of time off before going to Dr. K this afternoon.
Yesterday, after a breakfast of bagels, lox, ricotta, yogurt, frozen blueberries, coffee, etc., José Ramón and I spent a lot of time sobre mesa, i.e. hanging out at the table. JR had not had his usual bagels in DC because of the unusual snow all week and was very happy with our petite mini-bagels. Dawn, who was not teaching because of the holiday, phoned and asked if she could come for a brief visit. When she arrived she and JR realized they had met before and had had a Passover Seder together here (with Jesús), which she had virtually led. We chatted away happily about this and that.
JR very kindly downloaded reviews of the book Latin American Shakespeares that Rick and I had co-edited a few years ago; the first sentence of one published in Brazil says “This is an extraordinary book that compiles various approaches to the influences of Shakespeare in Latin American literary, dramatic and performance acts ranging from the nineteenth century to the present.” Whoopie! Nice to be appreciated. And I enjoy so much working with friends.
We discussed JR's impressive bibliographic works: he is demand all over for his meticulous research into and description of Shakespearean works on film and criticism of those films. The organizers of the biennial conference (this year in Le Harve) on particular plays always want him to participate, both as a critic of a particular film (often a rare film) and as a compiler of filmographies. The good news for my work is that this year the conference is on Hamlet, and as I may have mentioned already I have submitted a paper to be read for me by Michèle and a fuller version to be published in the conference volume. And even better, JR is compiling an enormous filmography and bib of Hamlet on film. We discussed the possibility of his having our website hamletworks.org publish his work for the le Harve conference. It will be somewhat expanded, possibly, and have a somewhat different format from the version in the conference book. But I will confer with Sarah and Nathalie, the conference organizers, to see what they say.
Eating generally takes place at different times during the day as hunger rises, so JR and Dawn ate the soup I had prepared for lunch, while Merwin and I had it later. Dawn wanted to know how I made it, and I am trying to reconstruct it. Soup changes all the time, from day to day, and from pot to pot. Here is this one as near as I can recall:
1. Ahead of time. Preheat oven to 450; pan roast 5 or 6 red peppers and 1 large but lightweight eggplant (to minimize the number of bitter seeds). Turn occasionally to char the skin and soften the flesh. I think this usually takes about 20 minutes: watch carefully so as not to burn. When the veggies are charred, remove them carefully into a firm paper bag, and close them in. When the veggies are cool enough to handle but still warm, remove the skin and seeds and stems from the peppers, and scrape the flesh from the eggplant skin.
2. Puree the vegetable pulp. This goes into the freezer as a base for soup or can be used right away of course.
3. I always start a soup pot with heated olive oil, to which I add chopped onions, carrots, and celery, especially the green tops if I have them. Saute very slowly so as to almost melt the onions. I chopped up a little bit of ginger too and added it to the pot at this stage.
4. Add the pepper puree. This is very thick, so you need to thin it with a lot of vegetable broth. There can be various kinds. I use low-sodium versions sold in boxes or sometimes a tablet dissolved in water.
5. Add about 1/2 large can of whole plum tomatoes, chopped up a bit, with their juices. I also added a cooked veggie burger, broken into bits.
6. Separately, make any fine pasta that will be added to each bowl as you serve it.
7. Pass grated cheese to be sprinkled on top. Serve with crusty bread.
I am sure I have forgotten something. When I make soup, I look into the fridge and freezer to see what is available, and add accordingly. Dawn and JR added some basil leaves (I keep herbs in the freezer) as a garnish. Lemon juice squeezed in is also good.
I was able to relax with my good friends, Dawn and JR, lying down whenever necessary, and yet participating in conversation, both personal and professional.
When JR left with Merwin for the airport at about 5:15 p.m., I went to bed, falling asleep while watching the "News Report" on ch. 21. Oh, if only I knew how to fall asleep at will! I woke right at the end: so it was really about a 30-min. nap. When Merwin arrived for dinner (a sandwich of leftover Chicken Francaise from the freezer and fresh vegetables on the side), I joined him in watching the "News Hour" on ch. 13.
On another note, I asked The Shakespeare Newsletter editor John Mahon if he'd like me to review the Measure for Measure that Laury and I saw on Sunday. He was enthusiastic, very positive. So I'll try to fit that in somewhere.
Friends, family, work, play—to say nothing of my surroundings—make life precious and meaningful. I like to share these pleasures with you.
Love,
Bernice
Monday, February 15, 2010
All as planned--and more
Dear family and friends,
We all had a very good day. Laury had driven home from Cold Spring (80 miles) yesterday morning but was ready to drive into NYC. Merwin had her drive his car, which keeps him relaxed sitting in the front seat.
I had prepared for breakfast the evening before by making a variation on my usual blintzes, filling only, and a recipe in the cookbook Anna sent me: 1 package salt-free farmers cheese, an 8- oz package cream cheese, and 1 C of ricotta, mixed together with 2 eggs and the juice of 1/2 lemon, poured into a loaf pan. I popped this into the oven about an hour before I expected Merwin and JR to join me for breakfast. Served with frozen rasberries, jam, sour cream and plain yogurt, it made a nice breakfast. The extra cheeses made the mix stick to the pan as farmers cheese alone does not do, so if I make this richer version again, I will butter the loaf pan thoroughly. Merwin takes on the job of scrubbing afterward.
Merwin made three turkey sandwiches for himself, JR and Laury: we ate these in our NYC apartment. On Sundays, cars can park free on our street, but during fashion week, as it is now (for the last time we hope), it is hard to find a spot: we squeezed into one close to a truck. Merwin put a note on the car saying where we live, and eventually someone who needed to unload the truck contacted the doorman, and we had to move the car to a spot right in front of our building. Not bad.
We went to the NYPL where we found the Allen Room empty. So Laury and I looked around the room while Merwin and JR went to copy some pages from the book I needed. JR had never been inside the NYPL before, so it was fun for him to see the great expanses and gorgeous reading rooms. Then he went to wait for a return at the Duke Theater. The rest of us joined him close to 3, and found that he had gotten a seat. So we were happy to be there for Measure for Measure.
We liked the production very much. Ironically, though I have lots of trouble sleeping whether at night or when I try during the day, I have no trouble in the theater. I drop off into deep moments of blissful sleep. But I don't want to sleep when I am trying to watch a play. Since Laury and I are editing MM, I wanted to be attentive to every moment that we might record in our performance notes. Later today I will be writing up the notes I took, but I wonder if I shouldn't try to see the performance again. We liked it very much, and I want to do it justice.
Laury wanted to meet her friend Steve for supper after the play, and I thought I could try it. We made a reservation at my favorite, Szechuan Gourmet, which is right around the corner from us on 39th Street. They know me there as "Bernice," so in spite of its being Chinese New Year, we got a table for five and had a fantastic meal: 3 appetizers and 5 main dishes for under $100.
Then home and bed. I had held up all day, a real blessing not only for me but for all those who wanted me to be there with them.
Now I am off to the gym; Merwin will go to his workout later, and JR will sleep in.
Love to all,
Bernice
We all had a very good day. Laury had driven home from Cold Spring (80 miles) yesterday morning but was ready to drive into NYC. Merwin had her drive his car, which keeps him relaxed sitting in the front seat.
I had prepared for breakfast the evening before by making a variation on my usual blintzes, filling only, and a recipe in the cookbook Anna sent me: 1 package salt-free farmers cheese, an 8- oz package cream cheese, and 1 C of ricotta, mixed together with 2 eggs and the juice of 1/2 lemon, poured into a loaf pan. I popped this into the oven about an hour before I expected Merwin and JR to join me for breakfast. Served with frozen rasberries, jam, sour cream and plain yogurt, it made a nice breakfast. The extra cheeses made the mix stick to the pan as farmers cheese alone does not do, so if I make this richer version again, I will butter the loaf pan thoroughly. Merwin takes on the job of scrubbing afterward.
Merwin made three turkey sandwiches for himself, JR and Laury: we ate these in our NYC apartment. On Sundays, cars can park free on our street, but during fashion week, as it is now (for the last time we hope), it is hard to find a spot: we squeezed into one close to a truck. Merwin put a note on the car saying where we live, and eventually someone who needed to unload the truck contacted the doorman, and we had to move the car to a spot right in front of our building. Not bad.
We went to the NYPL where we found the Allen Room empty. So Laury and I looked around the room while Merwin and JR went to copy some pages from the book I needed. JR had never been inside the NYPL before, so it was fun for him to see the great expanses and gorgeous reading rooms. Then he went to wait for a return at the Duke Theater. The rest of us joined him close to 3, and found that he had gotten a seat. So we were happy to be there for Measure for Measure.
We liked the production very much. Ironically, though I have lots of trouble sleeping whether at night or when I try during the day, I have no trouble in the theater. I drop off into deep moments of blissful sleep. But I don't want to sleep when I am trying to watch a play. Since Laury and I are editing MM, I wanted to be attentive to every moment that we might record in our performance notes. Later today I will be writing up the notes I took, but I wonder if I shouldn't try to see the performance again. We liked it very much, and I want to do it justice.
Laury wanted to meet her friend Steve for supper after the play, and I thought I could try it. We made a reservation at my favorite, Szechuan Gourmet, which is right around the corner from us on 39th Street. They know me there as "Bernice," so in spite of its being Chinese New Year, we got a table for five and had a fantastic meal: 3 appetizers and 5 main dishes for under $100.
Then home and bed. I had held up all day, a real blessing not only for me but for all those who wanted me to be there with them.
Now I am off to the gym; Merwin will go to his workout later, and JR will sleep in.
Love to all,
Bernice
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Full of friendship
Dear friends and family,
One highlight of the day was Gladys's 90th birthday lunch, hosted by her nephew Todd, and held at our (Gladys and my) favorite, The Jolly Fisherman. About 30 people, we had a room to ourselves. Friends and relatives had come from all over, including California and Pennsylvania. We sat opposite two old friends of Gladys's daughter, who since their friend's death 13 years ago, have been faithful to Gladys, visiting her whenever possible. Ilona and I, and of course our husbands Manny and Merwin, were the only representatives from our synagogue, honored as special friends of Gladys's. These days I can't do as much with or for Gladys as I would like, but the main thing is that we care about each other. We always look forward, Ilona, Gladys, and I, to the monthly lunch at this same restaurant. Gladys, true to her artistic bent, had gone with Ilona to a store to pick up strands of red hearts to decorate the table. I couldn't resist twining one strand around my hair as a chaplet. Gladys read a succinct history of her life, with recollections of those who are gone and happy memories of all those who had come to her party. Later, our host Todd said a few facetious and serious words honoring Gladys: her intellect, her generosity, her spirit.
The crash was sudden and complete: one moment I was fully there, happy, smiling; the next I had to lie down. Gladys understood as Merwin and I slipped out. I had hoped to do a shop on the way home, but that was not possible. Off to bed. Soon after, Merwin left for the airport to pick up José Ramón, one of our many Shakespearean friends. Who knew back when I made my choice that a career that seemed to promise only opportunities to teach and write (good enough, one might say), would bring so much joy through international friendships? JR, a highly respected Shakespearean, is from Spain, and since he was spending time at the Folger took precious days out of his research there to come visit us.
We had a lovely late (in the Spanish style) meal. I had roasted turkey drumsticks slowly for hours in a mix of my own vinaigrette salad dressing, sweetened with honey, and surrounded by carrots and eventually Lima beans. The remaining turkey will be lunch sandwiches for the men for our adventures in NYC today. Of course, as a vegetarian, I ate no turkey. I had avocado spread on delicious bread.
Sitting around, chatting, mainly listening to JR's fascinating ups and downs (he has had and still has the residue of mononucleosis), I was comfortable and not tired. I excused myself at 9 p.m. but watched Bill Maher's 1st show of the season in bed. Before that, I had the opportunity to give JR some of the books I no longer need, and he was happy to get some that he doesn't have already to add to his personal or university library.
Looking forward to a rather busy day in NYC today: we are to see Measure for Measure, "we" being Laury, Merwin and me, and JR is to get into the line for return tickets. Either he will get a ticket or he will go to MoMA and meet us later. Laury is driving in: parking may even be possible in our neighborhood. And I am looking forward to at least a 1/2 hour in the NYPL.
Love to all,
Bernice
One highlight of the day was Gladys's 90th birthday lunch, hosted by her nephew Todd, and held at our (Gladys and my) favorite, The Jolly Fisherman. About 30 people, we had a room to ourselves. Friends and relatives had come from all over, including California and Pennsylvania. We sat opposite two old friends of Gladys's daughter, who since their friend's death 13 years ago, have been faithful to Gladys, visiting her whenever possible. Ilona and I, and of course our husbands Manny and Merwin, were the only representatives from our synagogue, honored as special friends of Gladys's. These days I can't do as much with or for Gladys as I would like, but the main thing is that we care about each other. We always look forward, Ilona, Gladys, and I, to the monthly lunch at this same restaurant. Gladys, true to her artistic bent, had gone with Ilona to a store to pick up strands of red hearts to decorate the table. I couldn't resist twining one strand around my hair as a chaplet. Gladys read a succinct history of her life, with recollections of those who are gone and happy memories of all those who had come to her party. Later, our host Todd said a few facetious and serious words honoring Gladys: her intellect, her generosity, her spirit.
The crash was sudden and complete: one moment I was fully there, happy, smiling; the next I had to lie down. Gladys understood as Merwin and I slipped out. I had hoped to do a shop on the way home, but that was not possible. Off to bed. Soon after, Merwin left for the airport to pick up José Ramón, one of our many Shakespearean friends. Who knew back when I made my choice that a career that seemed to promise only opportunities to teach and write (good enough, one might say), would bring so much joy through international friendships? JR, a highly respected Shakespearean, is from Spain, and since he was spending time at the Folger took precious days out of his research there to come visit us.
We had a lovely late (in the Spanish style) meal. I had roasted turkey drumsticks slowly for hours in a mix of my own vinaigrette salad dressing, sweetened with honey, and surrounded by carrots and eventually Lima beans. The remaining turkey will be lunch sandwiches for the men for our adventures in NYC today. Of course, as a vegetarian, I ate no turkey. I had avocado spread on delicious bread.
Sitting around, chatting, mainly listening to JR's fascinating ups and downs (he has had and still has the residue of mononucleosis), I was comfortable and not tired. I excused myself at 9 p.m. but watched Bill Maher's 1st show of the season in bed. Before that, I had the opportunity to give JR some of the books I no longer need, and he was happy to get some that he doesn't have already to add to his personal or university library.
Looking forward to a rather busy day in NYC today: we are to see Measure for Measure, "we" being Laury, Merwin and me, and JR is to get into the line for return tickets. Either he will get a ticket or he will go to MoMA and meet us later. Laury is driving in: parking may even be possible in our neighborhood. And I am looking forward to at least a 1/2 hour in the NYPL.
Love to all,
Bernice
Saturday, February 13, 2010
With a smile on my face
Dear Friends and Family,
Yesterday ended joyously with the meeting of the Columbia Shakespeare Seminar at Faculty House. Dear Laury picked me up and took me home to make the trip easy for me. I had hoped that José Ramón would join us at Columbia since he planned to visit us this weekend from the Folger in DC, but he is coming today instead.
It's quite clear that no matter how tired I am on my own, I am energized by being with others, especially people I know well. Our speaker was John Archer, from NYU. He is not a regular attendee at the seminar, and though I am completely satisfied with the people who do come, I wonder why so many Shakespeareans from around the region do not come. Through the whole event the smile never left my face. John's paper was utterly different from anything I would think of writing, and that of course makes it fascinating on a couple of levels. He spoke about three Shakespeare sonnets, 108, 128, and 8, and the connections between them and the contemporary technology in the instance of the virginal, a musical instrument of the time, and printing presses, with the compositors who set the type for books at the time. He had lots of pictures, Vermeers for the virginal, and I admired the easy way he accessed them from his computer. I am thinking about pictures for my talk too, but I won't have anything nearly as advanced—probably an overhead projector.
At the end of the evening, Laury came in to see the bedroom, in which I had puttered a bit during the day, I now have easy access to photo albums that had been out of reach on a top shelf in the study. I imagine myself propped up high on pillows in the bed with friends around me looking at these albums and wondering at the changes that have come with time. The room gives me an amazing amount of pleasure. Dave is going to add a finishing touch, fairy lights, a feature I have always admired in Barbara's homes.
I heard from the editor of SQ. After I finish touching up the essay, it will go back to the same readers for their further comments. No specific date for publication. I hope it is not too much delayed. I had asked the editor whether the readers would be the same ones. I have had the experience of initial readers making suggestions, me resubmitting with suggestions attended to, and then the work handed off to a totally new reader who of course disagreed with the first readers. Ugh. So at least that won't happen.
The snow continues to be delightful here because it is still pristine. Down the street there are huge gray piles, not pretty at all. I focus on the view outside my study.
Love to all,
Bernice
Yesterday ended joyously with the meeting of the Columbia Shakespeare Seminar at Faculty House. Dear Laury picked me up and took me home to make the trip easy for me. I had hoped that José Ramón would join us at Columbia since he planned to visit us this weekend from the Folger in DC, but he is coming today instead.
It's quite clear that no matter how tired I am on my own, I am energized by being with others, especially people I know well. Our speaker was John Archer, from NYU. He is not a regular attendee at the seminar, and though I am completely satisfied with the people who do come, I wonder why so many Shakespeareans from around the region do not come. Through the whole event the smile never left my face. John's paper was utterly different from anything I would think of writing, and that of course makes it fascinating on a couple of levels. He spoke about three Shakespeare sonnets, 108, 128, and 8, and the connections between them and the contemporary technology in the instance of the virginal, a musical instrument of the time, and printing presses, with the compositors who set the type for books at the time. He had lots of pictures, Vermeers for the virginal, and I admired the easy way he accessed them from his computer. I am thinking about pictures for my talk too, but I won't have anything nearly as advanced—probably an overhead projector.
At the end of the evening, Laury came in to see the bedroom, in which I had puttered a bit during the day, I now have easy access to photo albums that had been out of reach on a top shelf in the study. I imagine myself propped up high on pillows in the bed with friends around me looking at these albums and wondering at the changes that have come with time. The room gives me an amazing amount of pleasure. Dave is going to add a finishing touch, fairy lights, a feature I have always admired in Barbara's homes.
I heard from the editor of SQ. After I finish touching up the essay, it will go back to the same readers for their further comments. No specific date for publication. I hope it is not too much delayed. I had asked the editor whether the readers would be the same ones. I have had the experience of initial readers making suggestions, me resubmitting with suggestions attended to, and then the work handed off to a totally new reader who of course disagreed with the first readers. Ugh. So at least that won't happen.
The snow continues to be delightful here because it is still pristine. Down the street there are huge gray piles, not pretty at all. I focus on the view outside my study.
Love to all,
Bernice
Friday, February 12, 2010
Quietly at home
Dear friends and family,
I felt a very real satisfaction from helping Merwin put up on the bedroom wall where there used to be hundred of books three works of art, none very serious. A Braque poster, a child's painting (but forgetful mother that I am don't know which child), and a drawing by Phyllis. She made it for Dave, but since he has no place to put it, it's now on the bedroom wall. We kept four shelves of the seven bookshelves that used to be on the wall. On the shelf below the art works is a set of family photographs, ranging from a triple of me at about 5 perhaps, my beautiful sister when she was a student at the University of Buffalo (before it was SUNY), shortly before she left to work on the Manhattan Project, and then a number of our children and us. Merwin's mother was a gifted photographer, and we cherish an especially precious portrait of Harvey and Arthur, at about 3 and 2, perhaps. On the shelf below is a Phyllis drawing she made in some technical way that I don't quite understand. The shelves below the photos still contain quite a lot of books. But I feel finished with the task of emptying book shelves; someone else will do it.
Merwin having cleared the driveway with the snow-blower, which worked well, we went out for a little shop at North Shore Farms, our favorite market these days. I got a piece of salmon trout to make for myself Michèle's recipe with leeks, which no longer hold any mystery for me: I am now a leek expert. And I stocked up on lemons for the chicken Francaise that I was planning for Merwin. I feel competent when I can bustle in the kitchen and within a half hour have the chicken and the fish dish ready to eat. Both turned out very well.
I got good news from Jay, the librarian at the NYPL who oversees the two readers' study rooms. A book I need and had ordered had, surprisingly, not shown up in the Allen Room: Jay found it yesterday and put it on my shelf. I need this book to respond to one of the anonymous readers of my essay for SQ, to see how and if I need to revise anything in my essay. Naturally, I am eager to get to the library, but though I am going to NYC today, I don't think I will actually get to see it till Monday.
I started on a quadruple dose of HU (Hydroxyurea, 2000 mg), the main chemo I take, and I wonder if I will feel any effects. I have not been bothered by HU up to now. I will stay on this dose for I don't know how long and then go off of it entirely for three weeks because I have to be HU free before I can get into the trial I am aiming for. The large dose it to bring down my WBC. HU is supposed to be somewhat soporific, so I take all 2000 mg. at night, but it didn't seem to have that effect this past night. How delicious it is to sleep well; how frustrating not to be able to sleep even when tired. But I woke up early this morning feeling ready for a good day, culminating in the Columbia U Shakespeare Seminar, where I will see friends and hear a good paper.
More tomorrow; be well and stay happy,
Love,
Bernice
I felt a very real satisfaction from helping Merwin put up on the bedroom wall where there used to be hundred of books three works of art, none very serious. A Braque poster, a child's painting (but forgetful mother that I am don't know which child), and a drawing by Phyllis. She made it for Dave, but since he has no place to put it, it's now on the bedroom wall. We kept four shelves of the seven bookshelves that used to be on the wall. On the shelf below the art works is a set of family photographs, ranging from a triple of me at about 5 perhaps, my beautiful sister when she was a student at the University of Buffalo (before it was SUNY), shortly before she left to work on the Manhattan Project, and then a number of our children and us. Merwin's mother was a gifted photographer, and we cherish an especially precious portrait of Harvey and Arthur, at about 3 and 2, perhaps. On the shelf below is a Phyllis drawing she made in some technical way that I don't quite understand. The shelves below the photos still contain quite a lot of books. But I feel finished with the task of emptying book shelves; someone else will do it.
Merwin having cleared the driveway with the snow-blower, which worked well, we went out for a little shop at North Shore Farms, our favorite market these days. I got a piece of salmon trout to make for myself Michèle's recipe with leeks, which no longer hold any mystery for me: I am now a leek expert. And I stocked up on lemons for the chicken Francaise that I was planning for Merwin. I feel competent when I can bustle in the kitchen and within a half hour have the chicken and the fish dish ready to eat. Both turned out very well.
I got good news from Jay, the librarian at the NYPL who oversees the two readers' study rooms. A book I need and had ordered had, surprisingly, not shown up in the Allen Room: Jay found it yesterday and put it on my shelf. I need this book to respond to one of the anonymous readers of my essay for SQ, to see how and if I need to revise anything in my essay. Naturally, I am eager to get to the library, but though I am going to NYC today, I don't think I will actually get to see it till Monday.
I started on a quadruple dose of HU (Hydroxyurea, 2000 mg), the main chemo I take, and I wonder if I will feel any effects. I have not been bothered by HU up to now. I will stay on this dose for I don't know how long and then go off of it entirely for three weeks because I have to be HU free before I can get into the trial I am aiming for. The large dose it to bring down my WBC. HU is supposed to be somewhat soporific, so I take all 2000 mg. at night, but it didn't seem to have that effect this past night. How delicious it is to sleep well; how frustrating not to be able to sleep even when tired. But I woke up early this morning feeling ready for a good day, culminating in the Columbia U Shakespeare Seminar, where I will see friends and hear a good paper.
More tomorrow; be well and stay happy,
Love,
Bernice
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Snow day!
Dear friends and Family,
What a blessing a snow day is if you are snug in your home, not having to go anywhere. The snow didn't start in earnest till the afternoon, and we could watch it building in beautiful piles on the branches of all the trees. It was a day of filing things away, writing, working on small chores, such as the 2-page abstract of my talk in March, tidying up an essay for Rouen, getting Merwin to scan some documents I want to share with others. The meals were simple. Veggie burgers with cheddar cheese and soy vegetarian bacon on chiabatta bread for lunch. Soup for supper for me, made with a base of pureed vegetables, a little cheese, some rice-shaped noodles. None for Merwin; he doesn't like soup two days in a row, even different kinds. He settled for an ice-cream bar, proving once again that I eat much more than he does.
At bedtime, I watched the HBO movie TEMPLE GRANDIN, which I liked very much. Though the story of the autistic woman who became an expert in handling cattle humanely is well known, the acting by Claire Danes, the settings, the use of color and black and white to suggest Grandin's thought processes, her true grit, the obstacles in the man's world she chose to enter—all these elements made for a believable and moving story. Catch it if you can.
As usual, not much sleep. The deck benches outside my study have at least a foot of snow on them. I won't venture out today but enjoy it all from inside. Merwin will try his recently repaired snow blower and maybe go out to the store for necessities.
A friend from Spain wrote this morning to arrange a visit to Glen Head. It is a joy to see old friends, and immediately my mind turns to thoughts of making something delicious--maybe Michèle's fish in a pocket with leeks?
Love to all,
Bernice
What a blessing a snow day is if you are snug in your home, not having to go anywhere. The snow didn't start in earnest till the afternoon, and we could watch it building in beautiful piles on the branches of all the trees. It was a day of filing things away, writing, working on small chores, such as the 2-page abstract of my talk in March, tidying up an essay for Rouen, getting Merwin to scan some documents I want to share with others. The meals were simple. Veggie burgers with cheddar cheese and soy vegetarian bacon on chiabatta bread for lunch. Soup for supper for me, made with a base of pureed vegetables, a little cheese, some rice-shaped noodles. None for Merwin; he doesn't like soup two days in a row, even different kinds. He settled for an ice-cream bar, proving once again that I eat much more than he does.
At bedtime, I watched the HBO movie TEMPLE GRANDIN, which I liked very much. Though the story of the autistic woman who became an expert in handling cattle humanely is well known, the acting by Claire Danes, the settings, the use of color and black and white to suggest Grandin's thought processes, her true grit, the obstacles in the man's world she chose to enter—all these elements made for a believable and moving story. Catch it if you can.
As usual, not much sleep. The deck benches outside my study have at least a foot of snow on them. I won't venture out today but enjoy it all from inside. Merwin will try his recently repaired snow blower and maybe go out to the store for necessities.
A friend from Spain wrote this morning to arrange a visit to Glen Head. It is a joy to see old friends, and immediately my mind turns to thoughts of making something delicious--maybe Michèle's fish in a pocket with leeks?
Love to all,
Bernice
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Mix of good and bad
Dear Friends and family,
Lots of things worked out yesterday. Not only did we take the subway up to Fairway, have a nice breakfast in the café there, and shop (that is, Merwin got the items on the list while I read the Metro newspaper at a window table, but also we took a little side trip East on 72nd to stop at Tip-Top shoes to get another pair like the ones I was wearing so I could have one in the apartment and one in Glen Head. They are child-sized and fit comfortably. I guess if I could have predicted the rest of the day I would not have gotten two versions of this shoe--one in purple, no less. So back we went by subway to the apartment with our packages.
I think my days working in the library might be over. My computer is not acting right. I will have to ask Harvey if he has another, working, hand-me-own. It took me 3x as long to do anything as it should have because keys are not working. Finally I gave up. Anyway, it was time to go to Mt. Sinai for the 3 o'clock appointment. Snow was expected and we were eager, also, to get home, so we packed up to go directly to Penn Station after the hospital.
After and during a very thorough physical: EKG, blood work, and all the rest, we had a long talk with Dr. Mascarenhas, s charming young man. It would be too much to go into detail here, but the bottom line is that he will get me into one of his studies after asking the nurse who coordinates it about when that can happen. He as amazed that Merwin also has an MPD condition, ET, well under control with Hydrea, and we agreed to let Dr. M. study Merwin as well as me for the sake of his research. The condition is very rare anyway: 1 in 100,000 population, so 2 people, unrelated, in the same family is a further rarity. That's the good news. The bad news is that my condition, having reached the spent phase of bone marrow cell production, is not good at all. I may have weeks, months, or even years to live, but the likelihood is more for the lesser time. I don't intend to let this bad news prevent me from enjoying everything I can.
We dashed home on an express train to Port, where Dave picked us up; we were eager to fill the prescriptions Dr. M. had provided so I could start right away to try to reduce the WBC, which was over 160. We had the rest of the nice soup I had made the night before, and spoke to Harvey and Sandy about what had happened. Dr. M. agreed very readily to talk to Harvey by phone, day or evening, office or cell.
The day did end on good note: remember the stopped-up sink in the City bathroom. Ellen Sykes, our wonderful real estate agent and now friend urged us to demand that the management company fix the sink. Merwin wrote them a nice letter, and they agreed with his well-crafted argument: a fixer is scheduled to come to repair the sink this morning.
I don't think I mentioned one of the pleasures of the past few days: watching Emma, the new BBC production, on my 24" TV. I think on a snowy day like today, when work palls, it would be fun to see it all over again.
So work, food, friends and family--all the good things in my life will be uppermost in my mind today. A tearful person like me cannot help tearing up once in a while, but I am not going to ruin what's good by focusing on what's bad.
Writing to you, knowing you care, as so many of you have written to tell me, is a great comfort. Somehow, I know, even if you don't write, that you are all there for me.
Love to all,
Bernice
Lots of things worked out yesterday. Not only did we take the subway up to Fairway, have a nice breakfast in the café there, and shop (that is, Merwin got the items on the list while I read the Metro newspaper at a window table, but also we took a little side trip East on 72nd to stop at Tip-Top shoes to get another pair like the ones I was wearing so I could have one in the apartment and one in Glen Head. They are child-sized and fit comfortably. I guess if I could have predicted the rest of the day I would not have gotten two versions of this shoe--one in purple, no less. So back we went by subway to the apartment with our packages.
I think my days working in the library might be over. My computer is not acting right. I will have to ask Harvey if he has another, working, hand-me-own. It took me 3x as long to do anything as it should have because keys are not working. Finally I gave up. Anyway, it was time to go to Mt. Sinai for the 3 o'clock appointment. Snow was expected and we were eager, also, to get home, so we packed up to go directly to Penn Station after the hospital.
After and during a very thorough physical: EKG, blood work, and all the rest, we had a long talk with Dr. Mascarenhas, s charming young man. It would be too much to go into detail here, but the bottom line is that he will get me into one of his studies after asking the nurse who coordinates it about when that can happen. He as amazed that Merwin also has an MPD condition, ET, well under control with Hydrea, and we agreed to let Dr. M. study Merwin as well as me for the sake of his research. The condition is very rare anyway: 1 in 100,000 population, so 2 people, unrelated, in the same family is a further rarity. That's the good news. The bad news is that my condition, having reached the spent phase of bone marrow cell production, is not good at all. I may have weeks, months, or even years to live, but the likelihood is more for the lesser time. I don't intend to let this bad news prevent me from enjoying everything I can.
We dashed home on an express train to Port, where Dave picked us up; we were eager to fill the prescriptions Dr. M. had provided so I could start right away to try to reduce the WBC, which was over 160. We had the rest of the nice soup I had made the night before, and spoke to Harvey and Sandy about what had happened. Dr. M. agreed very readily to talk to Harvey by phone, day or evening, office or cell.
The day did end on good note: remember the stopped-up sink in the City bathroom. Ellen Sykes, our wonderful real estate agent and now friend urged us to demand that the management company fix the sink. Merwin wrote them a nice letter, and they agreed with his well-crafted argument: a fixer is scheduled to come to repair the sink this morning.
I don't think I mentioned one of the pleasures of the past few days: watching Emma, the new BBC production, on my 24" TV. I think on a snowy day like today, when work palls, it would be fun to see it all over again.
So work, food, friends and family--all the good things in my life will be uppermost in my mind today. A tearful person like me cannot help tearing up once in a while, but I am not going to ruin what's good by focusing on what's bad.
Writing to you, knowing you care, as so many of you have written to tell me, is a great comfort. Somehow, I know, even if you don't write, that you are all there for me.
Love to all,
Bernice
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Lots to think about
Dear friends and family,
We rushed into NYC on the 10:02 train,Merwin having left his class early because of a pulled muscle, and we were expecting a lot of action at the apartment. For one thing, RCN, our Internet provider, was coming to connect the computer Merwin got from Harvey (via Rachael: kind of fun when a granddaughter becomes the source of a "new" computer). Sure enough, when we arrived at Bryant Park, the tech had already arrived, while Merwin was at Zeytinz, our lovely next-door shop, getting a danish. I had gone directly to the library to find a book I need for the paper I am completing for publication and presentation on March 19th, but didn't find it there and so came to the apartment.
After this most pleasant tech left us, now completely wireless throughout the apartment, we read (I am working through Kathryn's paper copies of TLS) and napped to get ready for the long evening. The big news is that my hem, Dr. Kurzyna, had made a conenction with Mt. Sinai's team working on a drug that might suppress my bad JAK2 gene, and one of the doctors wanted me to phone. We called Dr. Mascarenhas, who was most pleasant. After a bit of chat with both of us he told us to call right then the secretary for an appointment at 3 p.m. tomorrow! Wow, we are excited. We spoke to Betsy, the secretary, who already had me in their computer, we are not sure how. We are hopeful, but of course we can't get too hopeful.
At 6 p.m. we left the apartment for the Amsterdam Café, which I enjoyed very much last year, that is, I enjoyed having the Columbia Shakespeare seminar dinners there, while Faculty House was being refurbished, but I didn't enjoy all the work of organizing the dinners. I couldn't do that this year. We had salads and french-fried sweet potatoes. Then off to the talk by Jean Howard around the corner at a nearby Columbia U building. She is being honored with the opportunity to give three lectures, which will become a book. The lecture series is sponsored by a person who had been a member of one of the Columbia seminars. Jean is a member of the Shakespeare Seminar but usually is too busy to come. Anyway, to a packed room she gave the most wonderful lecture followed by brilliant responses to the several questions posed by the audience. The overall topic is Staging History: Imagining the Nation. Last night her topic was Bosworth Field and Agincourt: The Making of Shakespeare's England. Brilliant. Afterwards there was a nice litttle snack. We chatted with the few people we knew there, Harry and Marje, Heather and her partner. Then home on the subway, arriving after 10 p.m.
Nice day, and now we are off to Fairway to do a little shopping. We go by subway, have a delicious breakfast in their cafe, then take a subway or taxi home, depending on the number of packages we collect.
We are still dealing with the stopped sink in the bathroom, an issue that must be resolved before too long. I brushed my teeth in the shower this morning.
Onward with many exiting thoughts swimming in my head. For one, Harry asked if I would read a grant proposal he is writing, so when I am lying in bed sleepless as is my wont I am thinking of creating his seminar proposal. Silly me. But ideas will keep coming.
Love to all,
in haste,
Bernice
We rushed into NYC on the 10:02 train,Merwin having left his class early because of a pulled muscle, and we were expecting a lot of action at the apartment. For one thing, RCN, our Internet provider, was coming to connect the computer Merwin got from Harvey (via Rachael: kind of fun when a granddaughter becomes the source of a "new" computer). Sure enough, when we arrived at Bryant Park, the tech had already arrived, while Merwin was at Zeytinz, our lovely next-door shop, getting a danish. I had gone directly to the library to find a book I need for the paper I am completing for publication and presentation on March 19th, but didn't find it there and so came to the apartment.
After this most pleasant tech left us, now completely wireless throughout the apartment, we read (I am working through Kathryn's paper copies of TLS) and napped to get ready for the long evening. The big news is that my hem, Dr. Kurzyna, had made a conenction with Mt. Sinai's team working on a drug that might suppress my bad JAK2 gene, and one of the doctors wanted me to phone. We called Dr. Mascarenhas, who was most pleasant. After a bit of chat with both of us he told us to call right then the secretary for an appointment at 3 p.m. tomorrow! Wow, we are excited. We spoke to Betsy, the secretary, who already had me in their computer, we are not sure how. We are hopeful, but of course we can't get too hopeful.
At 6 p.m. we left the apartment for the Amsterdam Café, which I enjoyed very much last year, that is, I enjoyed having the Columbia Shakespeare seminar dinners there, while Faculty House was being refurbished, but I didn't enjoy all the work of organizing the dinners. I couldn't do that this year. We had salads and french-fried sweet potatoes. Then off to the talk by Jean Howard around the corner at a nearby Columbia U building. She is being honored with the opportunity to give three lectures, which will become a book. The lecture series is sponsored by a person who had been a member of one of the Columbia seminars. Jean is a member of the Shakespeare Seminar but usually is too busy to come. Anyway, to a packed room she gave the most wonderful lecture followed by brilliant responses to the several questions posed by the audience. The overall topic is Staging History: Imagining the Nation. Last night her topic was Bosworth Field and Agincourt: The Making of Shakespeare's England. Brilliant. Afterwards there was a nice litttle snack. We chatted with the few people we knew there, Harry and Marje, Heather and her partner. Then home on the subway, arriving after 10 p.m.
Nice day, and now we are off to Fairway to do a little shopping. We go by subway, have a delicious breakfast in their cafe, then take a subway or taxi home, depending on the number of packages we collect.
We are still dealing with the stopped sink in the bathroom, an issue that must be resolved before too long. I brushed my teeth in the shower this morning.
Onward with many exiting thoughts swimming in my head. For one, Harry asked if I would read a grant proposal he is writing, so when I am lying in bed sleepless as is my wont I am thinking of creating his seminar proposal. Silly me. But ideas will keep coming.
Love to all,
in haste,
Bernice
Monday, February 8, 2010
Improvement and off to NYC
Dear friends and family,
The pressure in my chest eased up during the day, and we enjoyed the wonderful Baroque concert in Teddy Roosevelt's church in Oyster Bay. For the first time, I saw a small flag attached to a seat, pointed out to me by the Artistic Director of the ensemble, Sonia Grib; it marks Teddy Roosevelt's own pew, where he sat every time he attended, for some 18 years. It amazes me that this flag had escaped my notice. I always walk around the church during the intermission to note plaques, portraits, memorials, and all the other interesting aspects of this lovely space.How lucky we are to have this venue, which we reach through some of the most beautiful roads of the North Shore, The trip home was especially lovely because though after 5 p.m. the sky was still alight, and the graceful branches of the bare trees showed dark against it.
The concert itself was entirely instrumental this time, with a flute, two violins, two violas, a violoncello, and harpsichord (played by Grib). We always enjoy watching Louise Schulman with her viola: she is so joyous. We heard a long concerto by Haydn's younger brother, Johann; a string quartet and a flute quartet by the older Haydn; and a viola quintet by Mozart. We wondered why it was called a viola piece when clearly the violins had the main role. But all was lovely and enjoyable.
Once home, we ate mainly leftovers. I had made a soup in the morning which turned out pretty well. After starting with the usual chopped up onions, carrots, and celery (including leaves), I added a pureed blend of 2 zucchini and 1 large eggplant that I had sauteed together in a little olive oil the day before. To this I added a bit of ginger, not very much, finely chopped. I made noodles separately, because when I cook noodles in the soup, then rewarm it several times, they get all squishy.
I felt pretty lively in the evening and managed to start the project of converting piles of paper to notes for hamletworks.org. I got through a few and disposed of the paper. The pile of papers is enormous (about 3' high), but I am determined to get through them all. These are papers on the top of the big file cabinet in the sitting room. What's inside the cabinet is another story. Maybe for another lifetime.
Onward to Mimi's class and then to the City later.
Love to all,
Bernice
The pressure in my chest eased up during the day, and we enjoyed the wonderful Baroque concert in Teddy Roosevelt's church in Oyster Bay. For the first time, I saw a small flag attached to a seat, pointed out to me by the Artistic Director of the ensemble, Sonia Grib; it marks Teddy Roosevelt's own pew, where he sat every time he attended, for some 18 years. It amazes me that this flag had escaped my notice. I always walk around the church during the intermission to note plaques, portraits, memorials, and all the other interesting aspects of this lovely space.How lucky we are to have this venue, which we reach through some of the most beautiful roads of the North Shore, The trip home was especially lovely because though after 5 p.m. the sky was still alight, and the graceful branches of the bare trees showed dark against it.
The concert itself was entirely instrumental this time, with a flute, two violins, two violas, a violoncello, and harpsichord (played by Grib). We always enjoy watching Louise Schulman with her viola: she is so joyous. We heard a long concerto by Haydn's younger brother, Johann; a string quartet and a flute quartet by the older Haydn; and a viola quintet by Mozart. We wondered why it was called a viola piece when clearly the violins had the main role. But all was lovely and enjoyable.
Once home, we ate mainly leftovers. I had made a soup in the morning which turned out pretty well. After starting with the usual chopped up onions, carrots, and celery (including leaves), I added a pureed blend of 2 zucchini and 1 large eggplant that I had sauteed together in a little olive oil the day before. To this I added a bit of ginger, not very much, finely chopped. I made noodles separately, because when I cook noodles in the soup, then rewarm it several times, they get all squishy.
I felt pretty lively in the evening and managed to start the project of converting piles of paper to notes for hamletworks.org. I got through a few and disposed of the paper. The pile of papers is enormous (about 3' high), but I am determined to get through them all. These are papers on the top of the big file cabinet in the sitting room. What's inside the cabinet is another story. Maybe for another lifetime.
Onward to Mimi's class and then to the City later.
Love to all,
Bernice
Sunday, February 7, 2010
A special treat
Dear Friends and family,
Having been cheated of our attendance at the Rudichs' 60th wedding anniversary party in CT by the threat of snow (which of course never materialized), we suddenly did have the opportunity to attend the HD TV Verdi opera Simone Boccanegra. While the story is the usual silly stuff of mistaken identity, sudden discoveries, information withheld until it is too late, betrayal and loyalty, and all the rest, the singing and the staging were magnificent. We had great seats at the movie theater, and enjoyed it thoroughly. Of course, I wept here and there, sometimes at the sheer beauty of it all, sometimes at the losses and sorrow. Plácido Domingo was spectacular singing as a baritone. James Levine was the conductor, and as ever is a joy to watch because of his wonderful ease and pleasure. We recall well when he arrived at the MET, and transformed a third-rate orchestra into a first-rate one. At the curtain calls, the cameras showed reactions from the orchestra pit, tears and joy and wonder. That was just the way we felt. Other stars were Adrianne Pieczonka, Marcello Giordani, and James Morris. In between scenes we learned how Ms. Pieczonka appreciates being the only female singer in this opera. A lovely, moving experience.
Afterward, instead of going home to make the soup I had in mind, we stopped in for an early dinner at Ernesto's, a small neighborhood restaurant where we are recognized (though we don't go there often) and treated very nicely. We had a lovely meal. Then home to bed for me.
My pattern at night seems to be to sleep for an hour or more, then get up and do something, then lie down to sleep again. I hope that one of the risings will be at about 3 a.m. when I want to take the prednisone, with a little bit of banana. Last night, I went through my NCC file and got rid of most of it, all the certificates of honor, the letters of appreciation, the scanty record of a very full life at the college that was my home for 23 years. Some of the items I couldn't even remember. Out they all go, except for a small pile I want to share with Merwin, for his amusement.
Towards the end of the night, my chest was giving me grief. I thought I might have to ask to be taken to the hospital; it had been somewhat uncomfortable all day too. My chest is heavy: heart or lungs? Hard to tell. We'll phone Dr. Janus tomorrow, which may mean no trip to NYC as planned for tomorrow.
It's relaxing to spend a few minutes with you all, whom I visualize in my mind as I write. It's a lovely sunny day here, and I hope you will enjoy it.
Loads of love,
Bernice
Having been cheated of our attendance at the Rudichs' 60th wedding anniversary party in CT by the threat of snow (which of course never materialized), we suddenly did have the opportunity to attend the HD TV Verdi opera Simone Boccanegra. While the story is the usual silly stuff of mistaken identity, sudden discoveries, information withheld until it is too late, betrayal and loyalty, and all the rest, the singing and the staging were magnificent. We had great seats at the movie theater, and enjoyed it thoroughly. Of course, I wept here and there, sometimes at the sheer beauty of it all, sometimes at the losses and sorrow. Plácido Domingo was spectacular singing as a baritone. James Levine was the conductor, and as ever is a joy to watch because of his wonderful ease and pleasure. We recall well when he arrived at the MET, and transformed a third-rate orchestra into a first-rate one. At the curtain calls, the cameras showed reactions from the orchestra pit, tears and joy and wonder. That was just the way we felt. Other stars were Adrianne Pieczonka, Marcello Giordani, and James Morris. In between scenes we learned how Ms. Pieczonka appreciates being the only female singer in this opera. A lovely, moving experience.
Afterward, instead of going home to make the soup I had in mind, we stopped in for an early dinner at Ernesto's, a small neighborhood restaurant where we are recognized (though we don't go there often) and treated very nicely. We had a lovely meal. Then home to bed for me.
My pattern at night seems to be to sleep for an hour or more, then get up and do something, then lie down to sleep again. I hope that one of the risings will be at about 3 a.m. when I want to take the prednisone, with a little bit of banana. Last night, I went through my NCC file and got rid of most of it, all the certificates of honor, the letters of appreciation, the scanty record of a very full life at the college that was my home for 23 years. Some of the items I couldn't even remember. Out they all go, except for a small pile I want to share with Merwin, for his amusement.
Towards the end of the night, my chest was giving me grief. I thought I might have to ask to be taken to the hospital; it had been somewhat uncomfortable all day too. My chest is heavy: heart or lungs? Hard to tell. We'll phone Dr. Janus tomorrow, which may mean no trip to NYC as planned for tomorrow.
It's relaxing to spend a few minutes with you all, whom I visualize in my mind as I write. It's a lovely sunny day here, and I hope you will enjoy it.
Loads of love,
Bernice
Saturday, February 6, 2010
One highlight and much sleep
Dear friends and family,
Yesterday had one highlight, the monthly lunch that a group of us attend at the Jolly Fisherman. It's always fun to be together and chat about this and that: books, movies, events in our lives. Joan L. picked me up and took me home to give us time to talk. Joan is always so upbeat.
After that, it was straight to bed. I surfaced once in a while to check the weather. The plan had been to leave about 4 p.m. for Woodbridge, CT, and go the next day to the Rudichs' 60th anniversary party. Our Woodbridge son Harvey thought the weather looked chancy. Merwin concurred. So we stayed home and I remained mostly in bed. Leftovers for dinner; my lights off at 7 p.m. It seems that a very full day will naturally be followed by a day of recouping. I don't want to imply that I did nothing: there were emails,personal, professional and medical; there was more tossing out of old papers. My sitting room is getting neater and more pleasant.
In bed, I read yesterday's Op-Ed piece "Fade to White" by Ishmael Reed in the NYT, who, as an African American, deplores the use White Americans make of Precious. He hates the film. It's one that Merwin and I deemed too painful to see, but it isn't its pain that upsets Reed: it's its racism. He notes the enthusiasm of white audiences and the revulsion of black audiences.
It made me think of my reaction, not fully expressed, about the Sandra Bullock film Blind Side that I described yesterday. It has the same negative depiction of the black guys from the hood, the savior who is white and only because Michael has a special something that can elicit the saving instinct in the rich, white woman who saves him, who finds his mother and talks to her mother to mother, who reams out the leader of the gang who threatens her and her "son." Then there is the black woman, a functionary, who seems determined to demonize Michael's new family and temporarily makes him lose faith in them and their motives. There is much more to be said about the film, but I will leave that to others. If you have seen it and have ideas about it I welcome your thoughts. The point is that there is more to think about in the film than one might expect.
Yesterday was the 41st anniversary of the death of Merwin's sister Essie. It clutches my heart to write those words. She was a dear friend who taught me a lot about joy in the world.
Thinking of all of you, friends and family, on this grey day on Long Island.
Love,
Bernice
Yesterday had one highlight, the monthly lunch that a group of us attend at the Jolly Fisherman. It's always fun to be together and chat about this and that: books, movies, events in our lives. Joan L. picked me up and took me home to give us time to talk. Joan is always so upbeat.
After that, it was straight to bed. I surfaced once in a while to check the weather. The plan had been to leave about 4 p.m. for Woodbridge, CT, and go the next day to the Rudichs' 60th anniversary party. Our Woodbridge son Harvey thought the weather looked chancy. Merwin concurred. So we stayed home and I remained mostly in bed. Leftovers for dinner; my lights off at 7 p.m. It seems that a very full day will naturally be followed by a day of recouping. I don't want to imply that I did nothing: there were emails,personal, professional and medical; there was more tossing out of old papers. My sitting room is getting neater and more pleasant.
In bed, I read yesterday's Op-Ed piece "Fade to White" by Ishmael Reed in the NYT, who, as an African American, deplores the use White Americans make of Precious. He hates the film. It's one that Merwin and I deemed too painful to see, but it isn't its pain that upsets Reed: it's its racism. He notes the enthusiasm of white audiences and the revulsion of black audiences.
It made me think of my reaction, not fully expressed, about the Sandra Bullock film Blind Side that I described yesterday. It has the same negative depiction of the black guys from the hood, the savior who is white and only because Michael has a special something that can elicit the saving instinct in the rich, white woman who saves him, who finds his mother and talks to her mother to mother, who reams out the leader of the gang who threatens her and her "son." Then there is the black woman, a functionary, who seems determined to demonize Michael's new family and temporarily makes him lose faith in them and their motives. There is much more to be said about the film, but I will leave that to others. If you have seen it and have ideas about it I welcome your thoughts. The point is that there is more to think about in the film than one might expect.
Yesterday was the 41st anniversary of the death of Merwin's sister Essie. It clutches my heart to write those words. She was a dear friend who taught me a lot about joy in the world.
Thinking of all of you, friends and family, on this grey day on Long Island.
Love,
Bernice
Friday, February 5, 2010
More ups than downs
Dear Family and Friends,
A very busy day on Thursday. The SPIN instructor was very pleased with my progress. Now that both the rib and the thumb are much better, I can spin more effectively. Later, Merwin drove me to NCC for the writing group, and all who were there read, each of our writings different, each special in its own way. I got a thumbs-up, more or less, for my abstract, though the reaction also was negative, in a sense, because they like the romance of the myth I explode in the paper. Interesting. One thing I learned, however, is that a 2 -page paper is about all I can read without losing breath completely. There are five weeks to go before I read my full paper at Columbia, and I can hope to be better by then, but if not, I am going to ask a couple of friends to read parts for me. It'll be weird, but I think necessary.
Kathryn drove me from NCC right to the door in NYC, where Nick M. was waiting for me. He had trained in from DC to see As You Like It at BAM. I haven't mobilized myself yet to go to that. BAM's Harvey Theater is a little difficult for me now: steep stairs without railings. I'd have to ask for handicapped seating, the only area without stairs.
Nick spent a few hours with me, and we chatted about this and that: baby Alex, new baby coming, work, teaching, scholarship, writing, and all the rest. After he left, I had about an hour to rest before being picked up by Irene D. I was introducing her at an event for her new book. Naturally, it is an honor and a pleasure to do such introductions. While I was reading my script, Irene, in the first row of the audience, was murmuring, "How nice!" "How Sweet!" We two go back a long way. Soon after her talk, I left Irene happily signing books for the buyers and quietly left for Penn Station to catch a reasonably early train home. I was home by 10:30: not too bad, but a long eventful day.
I was somewhat dispirited by news I had received while Irene and I were waiting for her event to start. Dr. K phoned me and so did Merwin, who had spoken to Dr. Raza. The verdict was that I could not get into Dr. Raza's INCYTE trial at St. Vincent's CCC. Because my WBC is so high, about 100 x what it should be, I have to be on Hydrea, the chemo I have been on for years, and I cannot have that in my system when I am on the trial. Dr. K. can't take me off of the Hydrea or my WBC would shoot up even more. Dr. Raza is so kind, so loving, so interested in Shakespeare: I really am almost sadder about losing the opportunity to be with her than about the trial itself. She assured Merwin, though, that she will stand by me in all ways. But how? She isn't sure if St. Vincent's CCC, a freestanding facility, will be included in the disaster that has struck St. Vincent's Hospital, which has to close because of money problems.
She did suggest another trial, at Mount Sinai, under the direction of Dr. Silverman and both Dr. Raza and Dr. K. will email him and talk to him to try to get me into his trial. It's a JAK2 inhibitor trial (JAK2 is the bad gene I carry) and it's phase 2, so there is no placebo. This news of course is hopeful. So we'll see what happens.
A big day, giving me lots to think about, all of which I will share with you when I can. Now we are facing the possibility of a snow storm.
Love to all,
Bernice
A very busy day on Thursday. The SPIN instructor was very pleased with my progress. Now that both the rib and the thumb are much better, I can spin more effectively. Later, Merwin drove me to NCC for the writing group, and all who were there read, each of our writings different, each special in its own way. I got a thumbs-up, more or less, for my abstract, though the reaction also was negative, in a sense, because they like the romance of the myth I explode in the paper. Interesting. One thing I learned, however, is that a 2 -page paper is about all I can read without losing breath completely. There are five weeks to go before I read my full paper at Columbia, and I can hope to be better by then, but if not, I am going to ask a couple of friends to read parts for me. It'll be weird, but I think necessary.
Kathryn drove me from NCC right to the door in NYC, where Nick M. was waiting for me. He had trained in from DC to see As You Like It at BAM. I haven't mobilized myself yet to go to that. BAM's Harvey Theater is a little difficult for me now: steep stairs without railings. I'd have to ask for handicapped seating, the only area without stairs.
Nick spent a few hours with me, and we chatted about this and that: baby Alex, new baby coming, work, teaching, scholarship, writing, and all the rest. After he left, I had about an hour to rest before being picked up by Irene D. I was introducing her at an event for her new book. Naturally, it is an honor and a pleasure to do such introductions. While I was reading my script, Irene, in the first row of the audience, was murmuring, "How nice!" "How Sweet!" We two go back a long way. Soon after her talk, I left Irene happily signing books for the buyers and quietly left for Penn Station to catch a reasonably early train home. I was home by 10:30: not too bad, but a long eventful day.
I was somewhat dispirited by news I had received while Irene and I were waiting for her event to start. Dr. K phoned me and so did Merwin, who had spoken to Dr. Raza. The verdict was that I could not get into Dr. Raza's INCYTE trial at St. Vincent's CCC. Because my WBC is so high, about 100 x what it should be, I have to be on Hydrea, the chemo I have been on for years, and I cannot have that in my system when I am on the trial. Dr. K. can't take me off of the Hydrea or my WBC would shoot up even more. Dr. Raza is so kind, so loving, so interested in Shakespeare: I really am almost sadder about losing the opportunity to be with her than about the trial itself. She assured Merwin, though, that she will stand by me in all ways. But how? She isn't sure if St. Vincent's CCC, a freestanding facility, will be included in the disaster that has struck St. Vincent's Hospital, which has to close because of money problems.
She did suggest another trial, at Mount Sinai, under the direction of Dr. Silverman and both Dr. Raza and Dr. K. will email him and talk to him to try to get me into his trial. It's a JAK2 inhibitor trial (JAK2 is the bad gene I carry) and it's phase 2, so there is no placebo. This news of course is hopeful. So we'll see what happens.
A big day, giving me lots to think about, all of which I will share with you when I can. Now we are facing the possibility of a snow storm.
Love to all,
Bernice
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
A quiet day
Dear Friends and Family,
After Mimi's class today, I stayed in the whole time, mainly writing Shakespeare stuff, especially the 2-page abstract of my recent essay that I need to submit to the Columbia U Seminar Office for their records. Writing always brings new thoughts, new problems to be solved. The whole paper will get better because of this abstract. Tomorrow, I will read it to my Writing Group and when I read it aloud I will learn more about how to improve it.
Merwin and I organized the bedroom that had been partially painted, deciding where to put pictures. I was surprised that a painting by Irving Lieber, which he had given us, was not one that Merwin liked, so we relegated it to the bathroom. Amazing that he never said anything all these years.
I have had a chance to think a bit more about The Blind Side, the Sandra Bullock movie we saw yesterday. She was nominated for an academy award as best actress, and in a way it's hard to see why—though she played the role every well, in every way: accent, stance, walk, talk.
But what grabs me more in the movie is Michael, a big big kid who does not fit in anywhere until a rich white family adopts him. His teachers think he is stupid when he is just uneducated. Given a chance to express his thoughts without having to deal with graphics, he writes well enough. Reminds me of many of my remedial students at NCC in that respect. If I listened to them read their papers, I shaped a much clearer picture of what they actually could do with the language than when I read the papers with pen in hand. Someone who had been so deprived of the help of a loving family and sympathetic teachers could nevertheless begin to flourish nurtured by the love of his adoptive family, parents and children. I thought that there was a little too much stereotyping of the black community. The little kids in the Memphis slums played on their swings, innocent yet. But the druggies, dealers and users, hung out and were generally vicious.
If a good movie is one that encourages thoughts of the need for change, then this is one. There are a lot of Michaels; very few rich families who will shelter them and love them. This one included a teen-aged daughter who was just the right age to resent this addition to her family, but she was just as loving with him as was her mother.
Merwin and I spoke on the phone to Dr. Raza at St. Vincent's CCC about the Incyte trial; she sounded so happy to hear my voice. Because my platelets have gone up significantly, she is ready to see me as early as Monday, but she must talk to my hem, Dr. Kurzyna, about the meds I am taking. I hope it works out, but by the end of the day she hadn't phoned back. I suppose it will take time for them to be able to talk.
I had a chance to try a new recipe, trying to copy, more or less, the version at the Algonquin that we had liked so much. As per Barbara's suggestion, I used a mild fish, whose name I cannot now remember, instead of salmon, which had been my first thought: too strong, said Barbara. I pretty much followed exactly a recipe for macaroni and cheese on the Internet, "Chuck's favorite Mac and Cheese”: my additions/comments are in bold.
We enjoyed this dish very much.
I am probably not going to have time to write tomorrow because I am going to NCC for my writing group and then straight to NYC without Merwin for the first time in a long time. I'll tell you all about it when I return.
Love and peace to all,
Bernice
After Mimi's class today, I stayed in the whole time, mainly writing Shakespeare stuff, especially the 2-page abstract of my recent essay that I need to submit to the Columbia U Seminar Office for their records. Writing always brings new thoughts, new problems to be solved. The whole paper will get better because of this abstract. Tomorrow, I will read it to my Writing Group and when I read it aloud I will learn more about how to improve it.
Merwin and I organized the bedroom that had been partially painted, deciding where to put pictures. I was surprised that a painting by Irving Lieber, which he had given us, was not one that Merwin liked, so we relegated it to the bathroom. Amazing that he never said anything all these years.
I have had a chance to think a bit more about The Blind Side, the Sandra Bullock movie we saw yesterday. She was nominated for an academy award as best actress, and in a way it's hard to see why—though she played the role every well, in every way: accent, stance, walk, talk.
But what grabs me more in the movie is Michael, a big big kid who does not fit in anywhere until a rich white family adopts him. His teachers think he is stupid when he is just uneducated. Given a chance to express his thoughts without having to deal with graphics, he writes well enough. Reminds me of many of my remedial students at NCC in that respect. If I listened to them read their papers, I shaped a much clearer picture of what they actually could do with the language than when I read the papers with pen in hand. Someone who had been so deprived of the help of a loving family and sympathetic teachers could nevertheless begin to flourish nurtured by the love of his adoptive family, parents and children. I thought that there was a little too much stereotyping of the black community. The little kids in the Memphis slums played on their swings, innocent yet. But the druggies, dealers and users, hung out and were generally vicious.
If a good movie is one that encourages thoughts of the need for change, then this is one. There are a lot of Michaels; very few rich families who will shelter them and love them. This one included a teen-aged daughter who was just the right age to resent this addition to her family, but she was just as loving with him as was her mother.
Merwin and I spoke on the phone to Dr. Raza at St. Vincent's CCC about the Incyte trial; she sounded so happy to hear my voice. Because my platelets have gone up significantly, she is ready to see me as early as Monday, but she must talk to my hem, Dr. Kurzyna, about the meds I am taking. I hope it works out, but by the end of the day she hadn't phoned back. I suppose it will take time for them to be able to talk.
I had a chance to try a new recipe, trying to copy, more or less, the version at the Algonquin that we had liked so much. As per Barbara's suggestion, I used a mild fish, whose name I cannot now remember, instead of salmon, which had been my first thought: too strong, said Barbara. I pretty much followed exactly a recipe for macaroni and cheese on the Internet, "Chuck's favorite Mac and Cheese”: my additions/comments are in bold.
- 1 (8 ounce) package elbow macaroni
- 1 (8 ounce) package shredded sharp Cheddar cheese: next time I would shred really good sharp Cheddar: the packaged pre-shredded type is not good enough.
- 1 (12 ounce) container small curd cottage cheese: be sure this is 4%
- 1 (8 ounce) container sour cream
- 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
- salt and pepper to taste: salt is not necessary
- 1 cup dry bread crumbs: I use challah crumbs
- 1/4 cup butter, melted in microwave
- cut a sweet mild fillet of fish, about a half pound, into small pieces, about 1/2 " sq or less and saute very lightly in butter
Directions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil, add pasta, and cook until almost done; drain.
- In 9x13 inch baking dish, stir together macaroni, shredded Cheddar cheese, cottage cheese, sour cream, Parmesan cheese, salt and pepper. Fold in the fish pieces. In a small bowl, mix together bread crumbs and melted butter. Sprinkle topping over macaroni mixture.
- Bake 30 to 35 minutes, or until top is golden.
I am probably not going to have time to write tomorrow because I am going to NCC for my writing group and then straight to NYC without Merwin for the first time in a long time. I'll tell you all about it when I return.
Love and peace to all,
Bernice
The die is cast
Dear friends and family,
Yesterday, we made the reservation to go to Chicago for the Shakespeare Association Conference in Chicago. We leave on 31 March and return on 4 April—a very very long span for me. Unfortunately, there are events I want to go to on Wed. evening March 31st, and I am in a seminar scheduled for the very last time slot, late Saturday afternoon. Last year, one day so tired me out that I left early, but this time Merwin will be with me, and we have a convenient hotel room, one not requiring too much walking. I have work to do for the seminar, mainly reading all the papers, and reading a couple in particular to be able to discuss them on the spot. But there is time for that. I will use every aid I can to make the trip easy.
We wanted to settle the flight arrangements because Jesús, our dear friend from Spain, will be arriving in Glen Head a few days early to spend some time with us, and then we will go together to Islip Airport for the Southwest Flight to Chicago. He needed to get all the information so he could order his tickets from Valencia. Southwest makes it very easy for seniors and those with disabilities, and it's a convenient airport to use because of its long-term parking. We haven't gone anywhere in a long time, but we are hopeful this will work out.
Yesterday also we went to Dr. Kurzyna, and there was good news. My platelets are well over 100, 148 in fact, which is just below the low normal. On returning home, I wrote to Dr. Raza to see if she could now enter me in in the INCYTE trial. Incyte has only a 30% success rate, and it is not a cure, but it would possibly shrink my huge spleen. I think I would be able to breathe better if it were smaller. Dr. K also thought my lungs sounder better, so I hope the prednisone is doing its job.
Right from the doctor's office we went to our free Tuesday movie, at the Roslyn Theater. We chose the light-weight Sandra Bullock film—sweet, upbeat, entertaining—but nothing major. We could have seen The Silent Man there, a better movie, I am sure, but we would have had to wait an hour. Next week, maybe.
So another quietly eventful day.
Love to all,
Bernice
Yesterday, we made the reservation to go to Chicago for the Shakespeare Association Conference in Chicago. We leave on 31 March and return on 4 April—a very very long span for me. Unfortunately, there are events I want to go to on Wed. evening March 31st, and I am in a seminar scheduled for the very last time slot, late Saturday afternoon. Last year, one day so tired me out that I left early, but this time Merwin will be with me, and we have a convenient hotel room, one not requiring too much walking. I have work to do for the seminar, mainly reading all the papers, and reading a couple in particular to be able to discuss them on the spot. But there is time for that. I will use every aid I can to make the trip easy.
We wanted to settle the flight arrangements because Jesús, our dear friend from Spain, will be arriving in Glen Head a few days early to spend some time with us, and then we will go together to Islip Airport for the Southwest Flight to Chicago. He needed to get all the information so he could order his tickets from Valencia. Southwest makes it very easy for seniors and those with disabilities, and it's a convenient airport to use because of its long-term parking. We haven't gone anywhere in a long time, but we are hopeful this will work out.
Yesterday also we went to Dr. Kurzyna, and there was good news. My platelets are well over 100, 148 in fact, which is just below the low normal. On returning home, I wrote to Dr. Raza to see if she could now enter me in in the INCYTE trial. Incyte has only a 30% success rate, and it is not a cure, but it would possibly shrink my huge spleen. I think I would be able to breathe better if it were smaller. Dr. K also thought my lungs sounder better, so I hope the prednisone is doing its job.
Right from the doctor's office we went to our free Tuesday movie, at the Roslyn Theater. We chose the light-weight Sandra Bullock film—sweet, upbeat, entertaining—but nothing major. We could have seen The Silent Man there, a better movie, I am sure, but we would have had to wait an hour. Next week, maybe.
So another quietly eventful day.
Love to all,
Bernice
Monday, February 1, 2010
More than I could have hoped
Dear friends and family,
My plan always is to schedule whatever I want to do and hope for the best: the anticipation is part of the fun even if the actual event can't take place. But our plans for the 31st and 1st worked out beautifully.
On Sunday we celebrated our 59th anniversary. Harvey treated all of us including his three daughters and a friend/colleague from Israel with whom he is doing some important work. This was for lunch/brunch at the Bryant Grill right across the street from our apartment, and when after a leisurely meal I had to rest I returned to the apartment; the others all came too. Laura had brought all the way from Brighton, MA 4 quarts of the tart yogurt ice that I had had there once and loved: what a honey to schlep that for me packed in ice all that way.
One of the highlights was showing the girls the apartment that has just been rented in our building for close to $3000 a month. A very young married couple was just moving in and he let us all traipse in and see it. Rachael and Michelle will be looking for an apartment very soon, and they thought that this space would have been much too small for the two of them. But marriage is like that: a couple can fit more easily into a small space than two sisters. It's tiny but it has a 500 sq ft. terrace (no views though from any vantage point).
When the others dashed off in the early evening to catch trains or meet others, Merwin and I went to an off-off-off-Broadway play, Trifles, using our pre-paid TDF (Theater Development Fund) vouchers ($9 each). We went by bus and transferred to a subway to St. Mark's Church in the East Village: the young staff members questioned why Merwin would want to see this feminist play. They don't realize he is as much a feminist as anyone. The play combined instrumental music (5 or more musicians played an overture and occasionally throughout), impressive singing by all 5 cast members, gritty realism (1916 farmland poverty) and its opposite, a dream-like vagueness. Slowly it unfolded: the two women snatched some measure of power through their own intellectual discoveries overlooked by the men investigating a murder; they had quietly but knowingly endured being belittled for their feminine ways. We love this sort of experience: finding very off-Broadway plays and paying very little for them—and enjoying them perhaps more than we would more glossy offerings. I am amazed that I could keep going so long, but the long rest in the apartment obviously helped.
We had eaten so much at brunch that we were satisfied after the one-hour play to go back to the apartment and have a slice of bread and cheese.
My night was as usual not good, but thankfully it did not presage a bad day: once up I felt good, ready to do some cleaning and then shopping (next door) for breakfast. We were leaving at 10 a.m. to go by subway to a rehearsal at the Met of Ariadne auf Naxos, a short opera, with a very weird libretto. But the music was lovely, the singing rich and full for a rehearsal (except for that of the main tenor who was clearly holding back). Very enjoyable. The hall was very crowded especially with students, perhaps from music schools. I had thought it would be longer than it was and so prepared a lunch for us to eat during an intermission. One half of Rachael's brunch sandwich from the day before was Merwin's treat. Once we realized the opera was quite short we waited till after and sat in one of the Lincoln Center cafes in Tully Hall to finish our lunch, sitting at huge glass windows with the sun bright outside. I noticed a bus in front of the hall that looked like it would work for us, and indeed it did: we got back to the apartment comfortably on an express M5 bus. From now on we'll try to get to Lincoln Center that way as well. Easier for me than subway stairs.
At the apartment Merwin began dealing with a couple of plumbing problems that had surfaced. One had been taken care of in our absence but the other is more intractable. Nuts!
I went to the NYPL, talked to Jay Barksdale, the librarian who handles the scholars' rooms, and looked up some books I need to complete my essay for the reading on March 12th at Columbia and to submit the final version to SQ. Soon after I returned to the apartment I sat down and ate about a quart or more of tart yogurt ice. I have a sweet tooth these days that I haven't had since childhood. Must be something to do with the meds. I still don't like anything very sweet, but a little sweet seems nice these days.
Then we walked to Penn Station to catch our train home! Walking is a bit of a problem because the prednisone makes me shaky. I tip. So I hang onto Merwin's arm. But the energy level was clearly splendid; after such a long day I was ready for the walk (admittedly very short by ordinary standards, just a few blocks).
Once home, I opened one of my huge royalty checks, just under $60 for the year. Can't make a living that way, unfortunately.
Looking forward to a busy week, with a couple of quiet days till returning to NYC on Thurs.
Love to all,
Bernice
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