Good vibes at Mt. Sinai

Yair and Mechal are the proud parents of Hadassa, Gedaliah, and baby Yaakov Aaron. Yair is the middle son of my dear dear cousin-cum-daughter Sylvia. She still lives in Brooklyn, but two of her sons, Yair and Noam, have moved to Israel. Ari, her third son, lives near Detroit with his wife and children. It's wonderful to see these growing and thriving families.

Dear Family and Friends,

It is always good to hear from family, distant or nearby. Seeing these beautiful children brings a smile to my face. Just yesterday, on the train from NYC, I was pointing out to Merwin the old horse farm where I had stopped by to see the horses with Hadassa, who was visiting Glen Head with Sylvia. The horses poked their heads out of their stalls, very eager to see us and be petted. It was a magic moment, and a fleeting one because, soon after, this horse farm that had been there for years, maybe 75! had been sold and is becoming yet another landscape farm. Happy memories, tinged with sadness because I can only hope that we will see Sylvia's family when they come to Brooklyn.

Yesterday was an arduous Mt. Sinai day, but we are becoming comfortable there, greeted with smiles and hugs. My platelets are up again, which is a good thing, and the WBC is high as usual but no worse than it has been recently. I am dealing with the side effects of the meds. Itching is the main thing, but this recent bout started the day before I began CEP-701. I can learn to handle the nausea better. In all it was an up meeting, with five of us jammed into a little examining room, and these young medical people wanting to know about us, how we met, how long we have been married, etc. We brought out some of our old chestnuts, but without being wearisome. Dr. M. believes this med will extend my life. I am for that. He thinks I'll even be able to consider traveling again. That would be amazing.

Of course we traveled into NYC, leaving the house at 8:20 a.m. and returning at about 4 p.m. We got to the city in time for our 11:00 appointment: just. Then a couple of hours of the usual routine and then home. Lots of walking to get to and from subways and between subways and hospital. A good workout.

At home we both felt happy. I made Winnie-the-pooh for Merwin, and if you want to see a contented man, it is Merwin dipping his toast into the egg yoke. Then we decided to try "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying" on TV. After about 45 minutes, I could stand it no longer and I said, "I am bored by this movie." Merwin looked at me in wonder and said "Me, too." We were both hanging on, thinking the other was enjoying it. How's that for togetherness? And so to bed.

Love,
Bernice

Missed yesterday

This is a very old photo of Dottie and Abie, Rae-Rae's parents and David and Debbie's grandparents. Dottie had been a marine during WWII, and Abie was in the service also. They are buried in the military cemetery in Suffolk county, but how alive they look here--and remain in our memories!

Dear friends and family,

Sorry I missed yesterday. It was a itchy, sick day. No point in sharing the gory details. We had planned to go into the City directly to MoMA to see the Bresson [sp?] show closing that day. We had seen a little on Friday when we were there, and both of us wanted more more more. Then stay overnight and go to Mt. Sinai from 4E.

Instead I did a little work but spent a lot of time in bed. Fortunately, our wonderful Mitsubishi air conditioners do a great job. I spent over an hour on Skype with Satyaki, the grad student from Reno, who is helping me. He found a number of errors that apply to my section—all of which I corrected. He is a good, careful worker. I also finished going through my notes for Measure for Measure. I had written a pretty complete set but thought there were some lacunae that needed to be filled. Laury, in the meantime, is working on other sections of the intro, which I should be helping her with.

So today we are just doing a quick in and out, going directly to Mr. Sinai and then directly home again. I'll write again if there is anything new to report.

Love to all,
Bernice

Another friend

Here Here is a photo of Arthur and his new shed. His knowledge of building is amazing.

This is a photo of Debbie Akins, Rae-Rae's daughter: Isn't she gorgeous! And Rae-Rae’s eleven-year-old dog, also a beauty! I feel a special bond with Debbie, because she and I both settled down after some tumultuous years. Like her brother, very smart. It'll be great to have all three here in July, though Charlie, Rae-Rae's husband, won't be able to come with them. He has to work.

Dear Family and Friends,

Today is a terrible itching day, and that makes it a little hard to sit and write a blog , let along work. I take lots of anti-histamines and they make me sleepy. I am grateful this isn't a side effect of CEP-701. I know that because the itching increase started a week ago Thursday before I began the new medicine. Dr. Mascarenhas wants me to wean myself of the UVB treatment so I lowered the dose today, but I think I will keep it here until the itching gets under control with one or two or three Zyrtec pills.

Otherwise, things are going well. My pelvis has given me grief since the arduous NYC adventures of the past week, but a pain pill takes care of that pretty much, and I am not doing anything strenuous today. The plan is to continue working on Measure for Measure and hamletworks.org.. And of course chat with family and friends.

Love to all,
Bernice

Joys all around

Dear family and friends,

David Akins is the grandson of our oldest friends on Long Island, Dottie and Abie Spector, who, sadly are no longer here to feel joy from the achievements of their two grandchildren, so we have naches for their sakes and for the sake of dear Rae-Rae, their daughter. and for David himself: hooray David! Rae-Rae, Debbie (David's younger sister) and David will be with us next month. We are their Long Island connection now.

Yesterday worked out very well, in spite of the necessity to take more train trips than we wanted to make. We stopped off at 4E where Terry, the porter, put our little air conditioner in the window. The room wasn't too hot on this visit, but the air conditioner is bound to help. We had a little snack then went off to MoMA where we were meeting Rachael, Michelle and Rick. Lucky us! All of these beautiful people happened to be available. Rachael often has to work all day but had the day off.

Merwin and I had our last ride on the V train, which took us practically from door to door. Now we have to see if the M, the replacement line, will do the same. The plan was to see what we could in the museum and then have lunch at their restaurant there, The Modern. Merwin got a wheelchair for me, and I had a perfectly comfortable time. The marble floors would have been deadly for my pelvis if I had had to walk. My first visit to a museum since before March 16th, when that sidewalk broke my pelvis! I won't go into detail about what we saw, but it was all splendid.

Then the lunch itself was wonderful. We were celebrating Rachael and Michell's 25th birthday (a few days late) and Rick's new apartment. Everything was beautifully presented and delicious. Afterward, we went on to the LIRR via the E train, and then home. By that time I was too exhausted to do much but take a nap and read a little of the book that Barry had left at the door for me. Thanks, Barry! His ideas and comments began energizing me. Strange, but Hamlet always does that—thinking about the play and its multitude of possible interpretations wakes me up.

The itching remains a problem, but I think that things are going well. I feel so much better than I did a year ago that it is amazing. The stamina could be better. The itching could go away. But otherwise, life is good.

Hope that it is the same for you too!
Love,
Bernice

Frustrations and mis-steps

Dear Family and Friends,

We caused ourselves some unnecessary grief by assuming (remember the old mantra: "Assume and make an Ass out of you and me"? Well that was us. After planning a two-day trip to NYC, we decided that since our first stop practically, was Mt. Sinai, we didn't have to bring the CEP-701 pills—because after all they have the pills there. It's a bit of a fuss carrying them around because they have to be kept chilled, so chill packs and containers are needed—more to carry. Well, that was entirely the wrong idea: this is a study, and so the pills are given out for certain sets of days. Dr. M., after much going back and forth and running around by staff members to see if they could find enough pills (14) for that night and the next morning, we had to make a choice: skip the pills for that night and the next morning (with a bad effect on the study) or return to Glen Head. We chose the latter. We didn't want to mess up the trial by skipping 2 doses.

Dr. Mascarenhas gave me a thorough exam; he believes that the spleen is no longer palpable. He has thought that for a few weeks, even before CEP-701, but was more certain yesterday. That's a good thing. The round belly is probably related to prednisone. He is very very pleased with my bloods; it means that CEP-701 is working. The WBC, though still enormously high, is better, and the platelets are really good, over 350, almost normal. The only bad effect, possibly from CEP-701, is a rash on my face. I had started a new sun block on my face, so I will discontinue that and hope the rash goes away. Itching continues to be a problem, but Dr. M. wants me to taper down on the UVB light treatments, which I do for the itching problem. CEP-701 should prevent itching. Hasn't yet, though.

On the way to the bus going to Mr. Sinai I bought a pair of earrings from the street vendor next door on 40th St, and a pair of shoes on sale on Madison Avenue. Multitasking. I like shopping that takes minutes.

By the time we finished at Mr. Sinai, it was well after 5, and we wanted to get to Jay's book party. We took the subway to Chelsea and got there in time to say hello, grab some food, meet Hannah and a few others (Barbara, Meta, Mimi) and rush out, just making the 7:11 train to Glen Head. We did not arrive home until almost 9 p.m., at which point I counted pills, took 7 after eating an ice-cream pop (I've got to eat with pills!) and emailed Dr. M, as he had requested, apologizing for the tumult we had caused by leaving our pills in Glen Head, and telling him, as he had requested, how many pills I still have. He was very sweet in his response. We'll get more pills when we return next week. We know now that we have to allow lots of time there. Appointments, because of one thing and another, take hours.

I admire one good thing about their procedures there. No undressing and putting on skimpy paper gowns. You remain in your own clothes, obviously keeping them on the loose side, during EKG and all other monitoring. It would save time and money if everyone used hospital gowns minimally: time, money, embarrassment. It would especially be hard to wear a gown when the whole thing takes a few hours.

Everyone is very nice there, I should say. We are learning to recognize the various people we deal with.

Now we are off to the City again to finish our plans for these two days. I'll write tomorrow to report on the events. MoMA is in our plans, but I'll be in a wheel chair. After all the activity yesterday, my pelvis is sore. I will try to take it easy today.

Love to all,
Bernice

Same old, same old

Dear family and friends,

Did you know that through the Middle Ages and Renaissance and possibly beyond, “friends” was a term for “family”?

Not much to say today. We are leaving for Manhattan soon and our visit to Mt. Sinai this afternoon. Then later this afternoon there is the book party at Jay's home. We'll sleep at 4E tonight. Jay is celebrating the publication, posthumously, of his wife Beverly Jensen's book, Sisters from Hardscrabble Bay, which has already gotten some wonderful reviews, though it has not yet been officially published. It must be a mixed joy, to see Beverly's gifts celebrated—but no Beverly. Her sixteen-year-old daughter Hannah, will be there of course. I am not sure about Jay's son, Noah, who has just graduated from MIT. The writing group has been following the wonderful story of the initial prize and publication of one of her chapters, the enormous support of Stephen King, the person who also helped Ron McLarty (and of course many others we don't know about) through Jay's nurturing the book for months. Now it is here.

The session with the physical therapist went very well: he is pushing me more and more and says I am getting stronger. Still no SPIN in my immediate future, but I can go to the JCC and work on the hand bicycle and other machines—and perhaps take a chair-exercise class. Whoopee! I have missed my friends there. Elaine, Louise, maybe we can meet for coffee?

Lots to do to get ready, dear friends, so I will close now.

Love,
Bernice

French friends in the U.S. and U.S. friends in France

The insouciant Raymond on his birthday; Michèle, the tree hugger, and what a tree!; and the Lavin family in a park in Paris, left to right: Katie, Brendan, Sarah, Sophie, and Gracie.

Dear Friends and family,

Seeing all these dear people on my screen makes me smile!

The big news of yesterday was seeing the gorgeous lilies that have opened on our little pond, ranging from red to pink. There is a volunteer tomato plant near the house, but a dead apple tree that needs to be cut down, the quick and the dead in the garden.

The meds are working well, not in terms of a positive effect (yet) but in terms of not having a negative effect. Nausea just about gone—if there at all. Many many pills to take, and I am making a effort to keep careful records. (Did you ever notice that "ills" is inside of "pills"?).

One of the best parts of the day was our lunch with Bobbie and Norman at their home. Norman had done most of the preparation, but Bobbie does the presentation, which was gorgeous of course. Bobbie is going to send me recipes, all promising to be easy and healthful, though they seemed decadently wicked on the platters and in the mouth. Menu: mock chopped liver (best I have tasted), green salad and coleslaw, tuna mousse, and quiche, the fluffiest ever. Norman had made Mandelbrot (something like biscotti) for dessert, and there was also ice-cream cake left over from father's day on Sunday. I ate too much, some of almost everything, and in one moment I went from lively conversationalist to a person desperate for sleep. Merwin took me home where I slept for about 90 minutes and stayed in bed until 6 p.m.!

Other good things—My morning session at the physical therapist was excellent: Jack says I am very much stronger than I was just a few weeks ago. Also, I worked on my notes for Measure for Measure; it is very satisfying to see them become shapely and helpful. I am always aware of the students' needs when I write notes and enjoy the process of seeing my notes through their eyes. Also had a Skype conversation with Satyaki, who has not done much work for hamletworks.org yet because of his first ever college teaching gig, which has overwhelmed him. He feels so bad, but his course will be over soon, and then for 6 weeks or so he will work with me on hamletworks.org. every day all day (he says). I mailed the first packet of work to Becky, another helper. I am eager to see if a long-distance arrangement for us will work. I always enjoy going to the Post Office in Glen Head, where I get nice greetings, especially from Evelyn, who wants me to feel good. And the pièce-de-resistance came late at night, when I could hardly see straight I was so tired. Harvey called to see if I had any corrections on something he had written, and without the paper in front of me I was able to explain a few possible improvements. Not bad! The memory definitely is gong, here and there, but then comes through sometimes in surprising ways.

I hope to surprise myself today too! And you too, I hope, will surprise yourself in some good way.

Love to all,
Bernice

Really a lot of photos!

Dear family and friends,

Well, I thought I had 3 photos, but one disappeared, It may come back. The lovely young women are Marisa and Amy nee Kaprow. The men are Amy's husband Philip and their two grown sons. The occasion is Philip's birthday, a grand affair. The mysterious sometimes visible photo is of my dear friend Vaughan with her daughters.

Gert, if you are reading this, we are working through the disposable camera you left here, and when it is finished we will have the pictures developed and send them to you. Taking photos is something we are no longer used to doing. There are many times we might wish we could take a photo, but it does not seem worth the effort when we have hundreds, perhaps thousands, of pictures and slides already. When are they going to be organized? digitized? Probably there are businesses that do such things.

Yesterday's main events were Lincoln's visit and our early dinner with Jack, Jessica and Barry. Thanks, Barry for the treat! Lincoln came late because he had been on an ambulance call that morning. He has been a volunteer (EMT) on the Smithtown fire department's team of emergency responders for years and years. He hadn't mentioned that he had been given clearance by his doctor and the fire department doctor to return there after his heart problems last year. So that is good news. He drives the ambulance, but, he says, the young guys don't let him do any heavy lifting. I didn't gather a list of computer-related questions to ask him; instead we just chatted about this and that.

We actually had to leave for our dinner date before he had left the house. It was lovely seeing these good people again: I hope we can see them again soon, and I hope the photos we took came out. By the time we returned home, I was ready for an early bedtime.

The main reading I am doing is of the newspaper. I remain an Obama fan, very proud of the job he is doing. His way is not my way, but I think he accomplishes more than most would in these days that try men's and women's souls. His Oval Office speech last week was general, too general for the pundits. But then this past week he wrings important concessions and money out of BP. Without self-serving trumpeting, he makes good things happen. I wish he would do more to put unemployed people to work. If you know of instances he has done that, I would like to hear about it.

Getting back to Measure for Measure later today; that's my promise to Laury. And of course to hamletworks.org.

Love,
Bernice

Lots of pictures!

On the left is our youngest granddaughter Sabrina Mina Kliman, Arthur's daughter, with our oldest granddaughter, Laura Taraday Kliman, Harvey's daughter. On the right is Laura sharing a joke with our lovely daughter-in-law, Debbie, Arthur's bride. Both cousins are working chemists, Sabrina as a recent graduate with a B. S. degree, and Laura as a 4th year candidate for a PhD in organic chemistry at Boston College. Both women live in the Boston area. It is a joy to see that there is a possibility of a friendship between these two lovely women. As usual click to enlarge the photos and use back space to return to blog.

Dear family and friends,

Happy Father's Day to all who enjoy these recognition days. Father's deserve something! not ties, but a loving phone call, perhaps. But then, Merwin gets a phone call almost every day from his sons. This morning we are expecting Lincoln to visit. I must get my questions ready for him, because he is one of the several gurus who helps me understand and use my technical equipment. Dave is also terrific at that: he came by yesterday and gave me a tutorial on the address book of the dang blame email program I am now trying to use. Arthur and Harvey also weighed in yesterday, and we got to talk to Sandy as well. We are indeed blessed. Who knew during all those stormy years of bringing up these active guys that they could be such a comfort to us now: friends and sources of joy?

The new meds are having their deleterious effects, nausea and fatigue, but now I have the nausea pills, and when I need a nap, I just lie down. Two yesterday, and I slept deeply both times. The itching continues to be a problem, held at bay to an extent with anti-histamines and of course the ultra violet B light treatment. Dr. M. says that if this CEP701 works as it should, I could be free from itching without having to take anything else. I didn't ask him when. I already have experienced two experimental drugs (that is, off-use drugs, that are not in a trial program as this one is). "Off use" means that the government allows a drug made and approved for one use to be prescribed for another use. Neither helped me at all; quite the opposite. So I remain cautiously optimistic, glad to be in a trial that has already proven itself to help people with their symptoms.

The main excitement of the day was preparing a packet of work for the new PhD who will be helping me this summer, thanks to a subvention from Columbia U. We have to work long distance because she lives in far away New Jersey. I have to teach her how to do the work by preparing instruction sheets. It's not easy because there will always be exceptions that crop up. She will be shaping notes on Hamlet gleaned from journal articles, and these will go into our website, hamletworks.org. I also received in the mail proof sheets for the TFANA audience review I wrote of Measure for Measure as well as the review of John Mosedale's book, The Church of Shakespeare. The reviews look very good visually, with the wonderful photos accompanying them. I also tried to get ready for a meeting with Laury today to work on our
Measure for Measure edition by reading the section she has prepared. She will be coming here about noon.

It's easy for me to stay inside the house all day, but with a little effort, I made myself go for a walk with Merwin, this time at Sea Cliff beach. We consider ourselves so lucky, Buffalonians that we are, who never saw Lake Erie unless we drove for miles, to be so close to the beaches here.

Today promises to be a good one for us, full of family and friends—and the work I enjoy.

Much love to all, and Happy Father's Day to those who have that title, especially Nick, who is in Baltimore today to be with his father and brother; to Nick M., who has a new baby son, a brother to his first son; and to Eric and Derrick, fathers of their baby son. You all bring smiles to my face.
Bernice

Thinking of the children today

To the left, Jenny, the granddaughter of our friends and neighbors, Viv and Mel, with Buster; to the right baby Brian, Toby and Elliott's grandson. As usual, click on the photo to enlarge it, and on back arrow to return to blog.



Dear Family and Friends,

The reality sinking in that Rachael and Michelle are now 25, we are thinking of the children. There are so many in our lives, and we gather noches (joy) from all of them, Vaughan's grandchildren, among the rest. We have a recent photo of Vaughan's daughter Amy's family that Merwin will convert into a computer picture, and then I will post it. And the latest granddaughter of our dear friend Sandy Schor, who died so many years ago, was born to Gideon and Shara, and her name is Sandra Emma. I hope to have a photo of her to post. So send photos!

By writing about the photos, I guess I am delaying the inevitable discussion of the meds I am now on. So many pills! 14 a day of the CEP701 alone, and then all sorts of others to counteract the ill effects, mainly intestinal, of the CEP701. Fortunately, I can swallow multiple pills at once.

We had a morning visit by Cantor Eric, and not only did we have a pleasant time showing him our house, because he admired it, and our art, ditto, but we also got him to take a few children's books. He and his wife Sarah have a boy, Tal, who is 5 and a girl, Eve, who is 3. For the synagogue collection, he also took my walker, and all those wonderful implements that our dear friend Betty had sent to make life easier when I could not do much. The leg lifter was an especial help. Now these instruments will help others, I hope.

After an extended rest, I had a few hours of nausea. I emailed Amy, the P.A. (physician's assistant in charge of the CEP701 program), and she phoned immediately. I have yet another med to take to counteract the nausea, another side effect of CEP701. Oh my. Turned out, it stopped before I got the anti-nausea pills, but I have them now in case of need.

We went for a walk at the beach, along the Sycamore path, and watched the sun set. Later we spoke to Michelle to wish her a Happy Birthday on the day itself, and she sounded so happy. She was with friends and they were going dancing. Rachael was working, so we could only leave her a phone message. I would like to get them both something nice.

We also spoke to our friend Phyllis B, who is ailing. She probably will have to have some sort of surgery to help her weak heart. Harvey called to tell us about his dinner in Boston with his daughter Laura, and with Arthur and his daughter, Sabrina, and his wife, Debbie. Laura and Sabrina, who both are in chemistry, are now both living in Boston, and it is good that the cousins can get to know each other. Lincoln phoned also. He will visit early on Sunday, because we have an early dinner date that day.

Merwin brought me a bouquet of Hydrangea from our garden; that is a special treat that I will enjoy for a long time. As the blossoms fade, they can be dried and will last for months.

Today will be a quiet day. Sunny, warm, and long. I love the solstice!

Love,
Bernice

Two active days

Rachael and Michelle holding presents from their dad, and the five of us having our first courses.

Dear Family and Friends,

Today is Rachael and Michelle's birthday, 25 years ago. Their loving dad took the photos two days ago, the closest we could get to celebrate the actual birth date. With the advantages of cell phones, we managed to meet in front of the Museum of Natural History. Our plan had been for me to wait there while Merwin went into the Park to see if he could snag Senior tickets for that night to see Winter's Tale. Three tries last summer yielded me nothing, but I figured that since it was early in the season and the weather forecast was iffy, we might be lucky, and we were. The rest of the outing was fortuitous, negotiated by heavy use of cell phones. Harvey had had a meeting in the a.m. in New York and was finished early enough to plan for lunch. I told him to meet me in front of the Museum. He in the meantime contacted his daughters who live in NYC and they were both able to join us. A few clicks of his iPhone yielded the name of the restaurant where we had lunch. The second photo above shows us at Ocean Grill. Merwin had snagged the tickets and met us in due course.

My plan had been to wait for Merwin at the Museum and then spend an hour or so there. But after lunch, since it was clear that we both needed a rest, Merwin and I left the others and went to our apartment. Our lunch was so ample and so late that we didn't need dinner. We packed pillows to sit on and jackets in case of rain. It sprinkled briefly but was not a problem. It's always fun to see Shakespeare in the Park, but the performance was not as wonderful as I always hope for in that play, for which I have a special affection. Laury and her son David took a chance on driving in from Long Island, and they were able to get tickets at the last minute. With Al Pacino playing Shylock in the the other play in repertoire, it won't be easy to get tickets for that, but we don't care to see another Merchant of Venice. And so we've had our Shakespeare-in-the-Park experience.

I had a couple of tests of my endurance that evening. First, on entering the Park to go to the theater, we encountered hundreds of runners, in close formation, blocking our way. We got lost and wandered until we finally found the right path. Then after negotiating the dark paths out of the Park, and walking down 4 flights of stairs to get to the South-bound B train,we waited in vain for it to arrive. When every one of the about 100 people on the platform got on the A train, leaving us alone on the platform, we realized we had made a mistake. An arriving person told us that the B train does not run after 1o:oo p.m. We should have taken the A to 59 and picked up the D there. Like the B, the D stops at the closest point to our apartment. So we walked up the 4 flights of stairs and took a cab. I think I did more walking this day than I have done since the broken pelvis.

Is it any wonder that I was tired? But the next morning, I had energy enough to do our wash in the laundry room and to get some coffee in a shop open early. I think I was there at about 6 a.m. I decided to make baked eggs and cheese for breakfast, because we needed to use the eggs in the fridge, there since before my fall in March, and we had that for breakfast as well as cold, in a roll, for lunch. We ate the latter at Mount Sinai in a pleasant cafe. Our visit to Dr. Mascarenhas was complicated by the fact that two doctors from the recently closed St. Vincent's Cancer Care Center had joined the staff at Mt. Sinai, and there weren't enough examining rooms to accommodate everyone at once, but at last, we saw Dr. M, and Amy, the physician's assistant, who explained everything to us. I had hoped to go with Merwin to the Metropolitan Museum of Art, which was on our way home by bus, but by the time we were finished there I couldn't do it, so we went directly to Penn Station. As it was, we didn't get home till after 6 p.m., and by that time I was wiped out. I did make a fairly satisfactory supper with Merwin's help, but after that it was straight to bed. I took the first 7 of the CEP701 pills (I am to take 14-a day, after meals) without any difficulty. Fortunately, big pills don't faze me.

I had a terrible night that makes me wonder if I am going to be able to tolerate this medicine.—if indeed it was the cause of my malaise. If it works it will reduce my spleen size, reduce or even eliminate itching (which was pretty bad yesterday even after multiple anti-histamine tablets), and perhaps stabilize the myelo-fibrosis. Nothing very dramatic, in other words, but my bid to help myself and science.

At the risk of seeming immodest, I have to report that Dr. M remarked again, as he had last week, about my special glow, the inner joy that is the essence of my personality, which bodes well for whatever little measure of success the CEP701 affords.

More soon,
Much love to all, but especially to my dear twin granddaughters on their birthday and my generous son Harvey, and all my friends and family who keep that glow burning.

Bernice

Sandy and Harvey at their 30th Anniversary dinner together. It hardly seems possible to any of us—that we have a child who has had a 30th wedding anniversary and they are old enough to have been married for 30 years. I wish for them joy and continuing years of peace and serenity.

Dear Friends,

Yesterday was Tuesday, so of course movie day, which we have missed for some weeks now. We chose "Please Give," which had a 7.2 imdb.com rating, the highest of all those available with our free pass. Well, this taught us that we cannot choose anything below 7.8. It makes more sense to stay at home and catch up on the New Yorkers that abound here. It was vapid and uninteresting, about two families joined together for a time by propinquity. I won't bore you with the plot, which was slow and obvious. The point is that we must never choose a movie with less than a 7.8 imdb rating. Any we have gone to with 7.8 or above has been worth seeing: any with a lesser rating had not. If we had been home watching it on TV, we would have turned it off after about 15 minutes.

Merwin went to a plumbing store to see what could be found to replace the broken shower door. The tools remain at the ready, but no call came in about a possibility. He did spend a good deal of time trying to help me with my email address book. Eudora was so easy. Creating group messages, such as to my writing group, the Hamlet team, and the like takes more effort than I wish to spend. But it is time-saving in the long run.

Today, I have another visit with the P.T., then off Merwin and I race to NYC. We are hoping that because it is supposed to be a rainy day we will be able to get tickets to Winter's Tale in Central Park. This is very ambitious of me. The fatigue factor cuts into everything I plan. Still, I think it is better to plan and have to withdraw, than to give up the idea altogether. If we do get tickets, it will be a late night tonight. We will be staying in the City in any case.

Tomorrow is my first day on the trial, if I am really accepted. I have messages to read from people in the MPD group who have been on the CEP701 trial, but I won't read them until I know I can start the protocol.

Have a wonderful day, all, and wish me luck through my two days,
Love,
Bernice

Hanging out at home

Dear family and friends,

The photos are from our friends Michèle and Raymond. The first picture shows their grandson Marc (top left) in his classroom in Le Harve. Doesn't it look like any happy classroom anywhere in the world? The picture on the right shows the beach at Perros in Normandy, where we once traveled with our friends. Since then they have purchased an apartment there, indicated by the arrow pointing to the first bay window on the left I think. They have fixed it up and feel quite at home there. As usual, click on a photo to enlarge it; then back arrow to return to the blog.

My day yesterday included a good visit with the physical therapist, who assures me I am getting stronger, followed by a trip to North Shore Farms. I find shopping easy to do because my handicapped permit allows me to park very near the entrance. I lean on the shopping wagon and keep my cane handy in case of need—but I didn't need it. I picked up many staples, such as the Nova Scotia Salmon I like.

Later in the afternoon Laury came by and read aloud what she had written for a part of our edition of Measure for Measure which she had intertwined with what I had written. I have learned from my writing group how helpful it is to hear the words as well as see them on the computer screen or paper.

In the evening Rick joined us for supper, The News Report, and Bill Maher, the last show of the season. Merwin also asked him to replace two bulbs in our high ceiling—a task Rick is well equipped for with his strength and balance. All well and good—but not enough time for chatting. He will be moving into his apartment in Chelsea soon, and we hope to go to Shakespeare in the Park with him and Harris and Evelyn, if we can put it all together.

Merwin spent a good part of his day on the frustrating job of trying to replace a broken handle on a shower stall. What frustration for him. He'll probably succeed at it today.

Yesterday was Harvey and Sandy's 30th anniversary, and when he called, I asked him what he thought about it. The first thought was how unbelievable it was—thirty years! The second was a profound feeling of satisfaction that he and Sandy have a deep friendship, so many things they enjoy doing together (like going out just the two of them for dinner), friends they have in common, and a general feeling of happiness. And why not? Sandy is among the best people in the world. Merwin and I wish them many many more years of joy together, with peace and serenity.

Love to all,
Bernice

Tapering down again

Dear family and friends,

This starts the week of 7.5 mg of prednisone and the first real visit to Mt. Sinai as a participant in the trial, starting on Thursday. After this week, then, I will know how much time and trouble the trial will be for me. Then I can plan events around it, especially seeing our granddaughters. So I am full of good anticipations.

Yesterday we had a delightful afternoon visiting Barry Kraft and his bride, Jessica Sage, at her father's home in Mill Neck. How lucky can we be! That Barry, who when he is not traveling around the world is hanging out on the West Coast married Jessica (great happiness in that!) and that they both visit her father, Jack,who lives a couple of miles from Glen Head, in Mill Neck. You may remember a photo I posted of Barry, sitting in the otherwise empty audience at Ashland, Oregon, holding my Three-Text Hamlet. That's how we met.—through the book.

Jessica is beautiful to look at and enlivening to talk to—spirited and bright. Jack is about our age, busy , active, still engaged in his profession, which has something to do with film. I should talk to him more about that. We like all his family that we have met on previous visits by Barry and Jessica. Barry is my Hamlet guru. He knows more about it than anyone: I mean the meat and bones of the play—not necessarily the scholarly stuff which can be peripheral to the play—but the sense of each line and each word in relation to each other and to the development of the characters and the situation. Because he has read it with such fervor and love, because he has acted several of its roles and has been a dramaturg for directors, he has a sense of the play rare in anyone. I took home some of his scribbled notes last night and hope to scan them today, and even record some if they help in the understanding of particulars. Though he didn't write them for posterity but for himself, I am always eager to see what he thinks about the play.

My work of the day was not difficult. I went through some of the paper copies of the TLS I have at home, marking the sections I will note in hamletworks.org. Of course my eye gets caught by many of the interesting articles. I saw a lovely ad for Eric's RSC (Royal Shakespeare Company) edition of the plays (now published in separate play volumes as well as in a huge one-volume book), with a laudatory comment about Jonathan Bate and Eric Rasmussen, the co-editors, by Peter Holland, another luminary of our field. It's fun seeing how many people I recognize in TLS. Eric spent a year in London with his family working on the edition, and Merwin and I had the great pleasure of spending several days in their lovely historical house there. The edition has gotten him an enormous amount of praise, speaking tours and what not.

Today will be quiet: I will visit the physical therapist, and continue my work—but maybe stop for a few things at North Shore Farms.

Love to all,
Bernice

A quiet then an active day

Dear family and friends,

A highlight of the weekend's conclusion was a phone call from both Harvey and Sandy, traveling by car to or from one of their many activities of the day. Sandy is always a joy to talk to, but she seldom has the time for a long chat because she is so busy with her demanding job as an administrator and her volunteer work as an elected town official.

By that time, I was in bed, trying to recover from the events of the day. The main thing to report, I think, is that the last time we went to the Philharmonic, on May 10th, Merwin and I felt he had to drive me to the door at Lincoln Center and then park in the garage below, to minimize the stress. But this time we went in by train to Penn Station (where I picked up a salad for lunch) and then caught a M20 bus right outside at 34th and 8th Avenue. It went directly to Lincoln Center, but we got off one stop earlier to sit in a little park with a few farmers' booths selling such items as fresh fish, flowers, wine, and cakes. A man at the curb was playing a harmonica and singing, in alternate bursts, along with guitar strumming. Another was drumming on a box. I enjoyed their performance, my salad lunch, and the sights around us.

Then to the philharmonic, just a block away. I had a delightful surprise in that the recently new conductor Alan Gilbert, the son of a present and a former violinist in the orchestra, played the viola in the first piece of the all-Brahms program, "String Sextet No. 2 in G major." After the intermission, he went on to lead the whole orchestra playing Symphony No. 2 in D major. For some reason, a few orchestra members did not arrive in time for symphony and we had to wait another 20 minutes or so for them. Rather a surprise. The whole orchestra was assembled, and then one by one the missing 2 or 3 members turned up and took their seats.

Naomi and I found the time at the concert's end to buy some great socks, patterned with musical motifs. After these interesting purchases, we walked down Broadway towards a shoe store that Naomi has discovered. We stopped on the way at Ollie's, a restaurant I have never tried—and never will again! Ugh. tasteless. We should have eaten at Arpeggio at Lincoln Center, which is a decent restaurant. By that time, with all the walking, I was exhausted. I couldn't go on to the shoe store, but turned back to walk a block to the elevator leading to the subway. By the time we returned home, all I could do was crawl into bed.

But this morning I feel that I have recovered. I did my exercises while watching a bit of the movie Madam Bovary, with Jennifer Jones. And now I have the prospect of a lovely day ahead of me—which I will write about tomorrow.

Love to all,
Bernice

Days in the City

Dear family and friends,

It was lovely getting back to our place in the City, which looks very good to us. Ricardo, one of the doormen, met me with a hug and kiss and Merwin with a hug. It does make one feel welcome. All the breaking of walls in our apartment to fix water pipes (a job done throughout the building) is just about invisible to Merwin and completely invisible to me. Eunice, rcommended by Jak, another one of the doormen, did a good job of cleaning the place after our almost 3-month absence, since breaking my pubis ramus bone on March 16th. This is the first time we hired a helper for cleaning.

After naps we got ready for the writing group by opening the dining room table, taking out a couple of folding chairs and the like. We were serving pizza, and others were bringing such things as salad (from Barbara's garden, picked that morning), wine from Jay and Joe, and some gorgeous tarts from the bakery down the street from Hedda and Toby. We all read, and as usual we enjoy the variety of writing we all do. It's a loving group. To speed things up (so as not to wear me out), we ate and read at the same time. Merwin had been reading in the library while we were meeting but returned to get some pizza—and then for a FIRST in our group I think, the group invited him to stay, eat and listen. That was lovely.

As my group was leaving, we noticed that our neighbor Chris was coming out of his apartment next door. Their buyer had been approved by the board that evening, so Chris and his wife are moving the remainder of their things out. I asked to see it, and he let me in. Much larger than ours: It has a full kitchen and a tiny bedroom, but a huge living room with the same view we have--but on two sides, not just North. The buyer is a woman who will be using it as a pied-a terre. Our neighbor on the other side, Lena, was happy to see us. I had knocked on her door to let her know we were back when we first arrived.

Then on Thursday after breakfast and some chores in the apartment, we traveled by cab to Mount Sinai. The whole experience took about 3 1/2 exhausting hours, only a little of which was spent waiting, maybe less than a quarter of the time: procedures took up most fo teh time, and chatting about how we were doing. We both had blood work, and I had an EKG and the bone marrow biopsy, followed by a further set of bloods. Everyone who has done this to me (for me?) has done it differently. Dr. Mascarenhas prides himself on his slow pace and his attention to details that will avoid or at least minimize pain. What was most different was that people were walking around the room, Amy the nurse practitioner and coordinator of the trial, called CEP701, seemed to wander in and out. A nurse was around. A male nurse practitioner was in and out. Merwin decided to stay to hold my hand. I was not selected to be part of a study to see what hypnosis could do to minimize the apparent pain of the procedure, but I agreed to answer some questions anyway by two social workers who were on the team. Grand Central Station. I think all this movement and activity minimizes one's attention on the biopsy itself. Finally, we were told we were good to go and could make appointments for the next three weeks. Each session should be much shorter than this one because all I'll need is blood work and the CEP700 dose. Somewhere along the line there will be a scan to see how my spleen is doing. It is already smaller than it was at its greatest.

The worst news of the day was that though I will be finished with prednisone in about a month, the effects can last a year or more. I am sick of this apple-on-a-stick body, and, though many people consider my fat rosy cheeks an improvement, I cannot recognize the image that I see in the mirror.

Many more details of course to record for these last two days, but time to move on.

Wishing you all health, wealth and happiness,

Love,
Bernice

more ahead than behind

Surveyors in the West. As always, clock on it to enlarge it and use back arrow to return to the blog.


















Dear family and friends,

This is a photo, one of a set, that an RSNS (Reconstructionist Synagogue of North Shore) friend, Lee, sent. She says they are all over a 100 years old. The sepia is lovely. I'll post these once in a while. Send me your photos!

The highlight yesterday was an iChat with our dear friends Michèle and Raymond. They returned to Rouen a few days ago, after their first trip to the West Coast of the USA, especially to see their friend Lois and revel in the gorgeous scenery of that part of the country—highpoints being San Francisco, the redwood forest, the ocean along Route 1 and the like. They were underimpressed by Ashland where they chose a matinee instead of Hamlet in the evening. I would have been curious about the production, but I suppose I will read about it in due time. We wlll talk with them again soon.

Not much else to report about yesterday. Since we were eating leftovers all day, there was no cooking, except for breakfast French toast made with the leftover panetone cake-bread. It made for an interesting version of French toast. Merwin and I both finished a first run-through of Harvey's recent paper. We are very excited about it.

Today we are packing to go to the City, our first visit to our studio apartment since before March 16th, the day I broke the pubis ramus (pelvis) bone. and tomorrow is a big day: we go to Mount Sinai for the tests that will determine whether or not I will be accepted into the drug trial. I have very mixed feelings about the drug trial. The only drug that has helped—and continues to help—is HU (Hydroxyurea). For me, though not for others, it has minimal side effects. Now tapering down on the prednisone, the itching is becoming a serious matter, able to prevent me from accomplishing much. Because I took a strong pain pill, the first in a few weeks, my body reacted badly: I wanted to do nothing but sleep. Oh, well. Better days are coming. I am looking forward to the City and seeing my friends there. Yay!

Rick found an apartment not too far from where we are in the City. He is amazing—always doing what he sets out to do. We look forward to seeing more of him this summer.

Love to all,
Bernice

Dear Family and friends,

A bouquet for you all that came to me via email!

Yesterday's lunch with Florence and David was pleasant, low-keyed. They are easy to be with, though they are so peripatetic that it can be difficult to catch them when they are in their home in Glen Head. They are young and active, though retired like us. Florence brought a mixed salad and a fruit salad dessert. Merwin made his excellent portobello mushroom dish.

He sliced, and then marinated in my vinaigrettee dressing, portobello mushroom caps, about 1 very large cap per person or more. Cover and refrigerate till ready to complete preparation, over night (or more). drain the slices lightly, and broil till brown on both sides. In the meantime, slice slabs of cheddar cheese for topping and slice tomatoes to be added individually. We used Ciabatta rolls, cut in half horizontally and toasted lightly. When the mushroom are toasty on both sides, add the slices of cheese and return to broiler till melted. Using a spatula, carefully lift onto toasted roll; cover or not. Merwin served these open faced. I was the only one who had two of these. I wish my appetite were not so enormous. I hope I can lose this prednisone weight once I get off of it entirely. Down to 10 mg. this week.

The dressing is important: In a blender put a small onion and as many garlic cloves as you can stand (6?). Add a hefty spoonful of apple butter (this jam-like concoction has no butter and no sugar added and helps to emulsify the dressing), any herbs you might have around (like fresh basil, dill), 1 heaping teasp Dijon mustard. Add 1 C white vinegar—the best choice—and blend until solids are Incorporated. You can substitute balsamic for perhaps 1/8 of the Cup of vinegar, but balsamic is sweet, and you don't want (I don't want) a sweet vinaigrette. Slowly add 3 C of sweet oil while blending. Mixture should be reasonably heavy. Keeps in refrigerator for a long time.

Later that day I learned that my essay had finally been unconditionally accepted. You may remember that I got a very good first letter with readers' comments, suggesting a few improvements. Actually I revamped the essay quite a bit, finding more information to support my argument. I got more or more pleased with my essay. I warned the editor that I had added more since resubmitting it, but that didn't bother him. So now I am un-piling the papers that I had pushed into one pile and spreading them out on the table that earlier doubled as our dining table. I am eager to put this baby to bed.

I had a Skype chat with Satyaki, who is helping me with hamletworks.org, and I have reined him in a bit. He is eager to do everything, but what we need now is just the bare minimum. Much collating needs to be done, and for that Satyaki needs the editions from which he can capture data. On another hamletworks.org front, Nick is speeding ahead with his student aide and with his excellent ideas for improvement of the site.

I didn't return yet to another reading of Harvey's essay. Merwin will read it first, add in his comments, and then I'll go for it again.

My friend Jim sent horrific news of New Orleans and Florida: he lives and works in the former and recently visited the latter—and he paints a sad, dreadful picture of lives destroyed, human and animal. By the last day in Florida, the brown crud had infiltrated the beach there.

On the agenda today, another visit to the p.t. I had lots of pain yesterday, more than usual, who knows why. Perhaps the previous day in NYC? I had to take the strong pain pills. I hope to be better today. It's a bit scary, though.

Love to all,
Bernice

Energy returning

Arthur's tractor and the evolving shed.

Dear family and friends,

Harvey and family will be returning from the memorial service in Cleveland today. I am looking forward to the record that was made of the event, which sounds as if it would have been exactly what Lee would have liked.

After a lot of resting on Saturday, we went in the evening to a concert of Spanish music from Latin America at the elementary school in Glenwood Landing where Harvey had gone to kindergarten, The next year we moved to Glen Head and the school there, about a mile East. Our friends Miriam and Doris are in The North Shore Community Chorus, which did very well for itself. We enjoyed it very much, in spite of the oppressive heat, with no air-conditioning. The highlight was the Misa Criolla by Ariel Ramirez (1963). Doris, later, said it was very difficult to learn, but the effort paid off in what seemed like an effortless performance. We didn't stay afterward to chat. Too tired and hot.

On Sunday we had a long day that I am happy to say I got through without difficulty. Though of course I was glad to get into bed last night!

Before we left for the city to see Elyssa perform, I read Harvey's entire paper on some exciting work he's doing. This would be of course just a first quick read. I think it is wonderful that he depends on me and Merwin to give the last word on his written work. The language is scientific, but it is English as well, and I enjoy working on his wonderful ideas.

At 2:00 p.m. we drove to Evelyn and Harris's house in Queens and parked our car on their street: since Harris was already in NYC having watched a grandson play baseball, Evelyn drove us to NYC where we ran into a street fair that kept us moving at a snail's pace. But we got to the Gene Frankel Theatre on Bond Street in time to see "The Untitled Project," part of a month-long festival of plays at three theaters on the Lower East Side. At the theater we met Elyssa, the fresh graduate from Harvard, who only a week after graduation was already in NYC doing what she wants to do, acting in a play. She looks lovely, fresh and alive. The energy flows from her. I was proud that I was able to give her a present to celebrate her graduation. Many months ago, I bought a necklace I thought would be perfect for her and put it in the present closet. I was happy to be able to find it there and bring it, and see it on her. Since shopping right now is not in the cards, I am pleased that I came across something lovely for her and had tucked it away where I could find it.

The play, which ran from about 5 p.m. to 6 p.m., was a bit tedious though very short: it reminded me of the words in A Midsummer Night's Dream: Theseus' master of ceremony, Philostrate, tells Theseus about a proposed entertainment called "A tedious brief scene of young Pyramus And his love Thisby:”— “A play there is, my lord, some ten words long, . . . But by ten words, my lord, it is too long . . . .” The main thing is that the actors yesterday did what they needed to do and acquitted themselves well in spite of the weakness of the material. Laury, Elyssa's mother, had slipped in some three minutes into the performance, and afterward we six, Harris, Evelyn, Laury, Elyssa, Merwin and I, went out for dinner to one of the several restaurants on this cobblestone street. We chose a Catalan one, which was very empty at the early hour of about 6:15 p.m. but very sloooooow (though solicitous) in providing service. Finally, we had all eaten, said our goodbyes to Laury and Elyssa, and dashed back with Harris and Evelyn to Queens, where we picked up our car and returned home. And so to bed.

Today I am feeling more like myself. I am ready to enjoy the company of Florence and David for lunch, and then to plunge in again to re-read Harvey's fine paper, this time including the footnotes and captions for the illustrations. Another full day ahead!

Love to all,
Bernice

Ending the weekend

Congratulations, Nick and Helene! This is Theo, son no. 2, one hour old! Wow!
He joins his older brother about 2 years old.
As usual, click on the image to enlarge it,
then back arrow to return to the blog

Dear family and friends,

Though I usually write first thing in the morning, this has been an unusual weekend, with, as you know, a summit meeting of the hamletworks.org team. We were supposed to meet in Chicago in early April, but my broken pelvis prevented that. So my three colleagues Nick, Hardin and Eric and our MIT collaborator, Pete, all came to Glen Head. Pete was here for only one overnight.

You know my pleasure in the kitchen, cooking interesting food, the easier the better. I realized, though, that I would have to simplify things greatly to get through long days. Altogether we had 6 meals: breakfasts were catch as catch can: cereal, fruit, yogurt, and, once, lox with cream cheese. Usually, I would have made French toast or pancakes or something special. Coffee of course. Merwin took care of that. Here are some of the lunch and supper meals we had, almost all of which I had prepared in advance: Gazpacho followed by baked fresh salmon; individualized pseudo pizzas, with fixing by choice; stuffed shells with pesto sauce (Toby's), along with stewed veggies; another lunch was a choice of avocado sandwiches and tuna sandwiches. We also had tomatoes, salads, cake, cookies, rugelach. The weather was hot, but we had our lovely new air-conditioners to keep us comfortable.

The main thing is that we re-bonded and made decisions that will see us through many months. Late yesterday afternoon, after a session, we took a break and went to an opening at the Nassau County Museum of Art. It was an interesting show--all based on the sea in art. I ran into only one friend, Naomi, who is a docent there, rather uneasy about her coming tours because the art was rather scattered—19th century and 20th century all mixed together. But for me as a civilian, with no duties to perform, it was pleasant if undemanding. I think we or most of us enjoyed the show and the wine and cheese. I was exhausted, though, by the time we finished there.

I got up early to take Nick, Hardin and Eric to Kennedy airport. Eric had taken Pete to LaGuardia the day before. It took only 1 hour to make the round trip, a far cry from the 2 or more hours it had taken Merwin to pick them up on Thursday.

This morning I had my second session with my physical therapist, Jack. He is very pleasant and careful. I have permission to do anything that does not hurt: so I can return to the stationery bike cautiously. Merwin has to get Dave to help him fix it; something is clanging inside of it.
Both before and after the p.t. visit, I napped. I am still very tired from the weekend, but I am pleased with my ability to get through it all, from a physical standpoint. Better and better every day. I know very well that carrying anything even a little heavy (like my ice pack that I am supposed to apply after my exercises) hurts, and the p.t. says not to do anything that hurts, but some activities are hard to avoid.

Tomorrow I hope to get back to normal, with the fatigue well past.

Love to all,
Bernice

Short morning

Dear family and friends,

This is son Arthur in New Hampshire, acting as carpenter's assistant, building this shed in his backyard, I suppose for equipment, such as his tractor. It is a joy to see him looking so good and knowing he is enjoying himself: he has always loved trucks and large machines, and he is relishing the chance to learn from a pro. In a previous house, Merwin and Arthur built a similar shed together, but this one is much more elegant and sturdy. Yesterday all the other sons checked in also, Harvey on his way home from Dallas where he went to a professional conference, Lincoln wanting to come over next week, Dave with plans to spray our ailing trees.

I went shopping on my own, for the second time. It's really not hard at all because I can hang onto the cart for support, and park in the handicapped spot next to the carts. I ran into Phe there, and she was happy to see me up and about.

When I returned home I made up at least some of the food we will be eating for these two working days: salmon, gazpacho, vegetables, etc. Merwin had his book group in the afternoon, but he helped as much as he could.

I look forward to getting back to my blog with happy reports of progress on our Hamlet project.

Love to all,
Bernice







Dear family

short blog today

Dear family and friends,

I am too sad to write much today. I just found out this morning that my friend Evy's 48-year old daughter was killed in a single-car auto accident, evidently caused by her serving to avoid an animal. Accepting the death of those who have had a chance to live through the good years, up to and including the 80s, and for many even more, is easier than accepting the death of one who had so much more to offer her family and friends, including her partner, Chris. Like her mother, she was a PhD in English and a college professor.

Evie and I bonded through our interest in medieval Scottish literature. I switched to Shakespeare after hearing an eminent scholar at a conference (that Evie and I attended in Strasbourg in 1976) announce that there was a need for work on John Barbour. Since I had written my dissertation on Barbour (it's a long story) and had published several articles about this poet, a contemporary of Chaucer's, I realized that to these Scottish folk no outsider could be considered able to write about their foundational medieval poet. After that international conference, Evie and I met each other fairly often at the Medieval conference in Kalamazoo, where I started sessions on "Shakespeare and the Middle Ages."

***

I went to the new physical therapist, yesterday, and I think I will like him a lot. He is young and friendly. Only trouble is that he wants me to put to rest my "no pain, no gain" mantra. I should feel pain only when walking or doing something necessary. As for exercises, he has cut those to the bone and I am not to use the stationary bicycle or walk up hill. Also, he said I was using the cane incorrectly, and I have to re-teach myself a new awkward way, holding it in my left hand as I step with the right.

Satyaki and I spent some hours on hamletworks.org. He's learning.

My hamletworks.org colleagues will arrive around 2 p.m. tomorrow. Until they leave two days later, I probably won't be writing much if at all. See you soon.

Love,
Bernice

Green days, white memories

Dear family and friends,

In case it is getting too hot for you, here is a winter scene at the front of our house. I think I can do without that very nicely. Above is our azalea in full bloom. As I rode my stationary bike, I relished the sight of it outside my window. Now there are no blossoms at all. To the right is Jon, Rae-Rae's brother, and me; he and his wife Malkah live in Israel.

Most of the time yesterday was spent on hamletworks.org. Through Skype, I took Satyaki on a tour of the site, showing him what each page has and how to make the most of it. Now he will go to work on individual documents (each line of Hamlet has 1-3 documents) and many of them are very very long. We have a lot of information for anyone ho wants it. Satyaki and I have a Skype appointment for later today.

I have been making up menus for the guys' two-day visit later this week. The main goal is to keep it simple enough to make it easy for me. When I have to, I will lie down and rest. I also have been making notes about some of the things we can talk about, hoping that we can move smoothly into the next phase.

The bad effects of taking prednisone do not seem to be diminishing as much or as quickly as I would like in spite of my being down to 12.5 mg a day now. But some of the bad effects of not taking it are beginning to show: no trouble breathing, thank goodness, but rather intense itching. I am taking my UVB light treatment 3x a week and slowly increasing the dose; when I broke my pelvis, I couldn't get to the machine and when I restarted I had to begin with a low dose.

This too will pass.

I am looking forward today to the start of physical therapy to strengthen my legs and hips. Something is wrong with my stationary bike, and I am missing using it. I'll probably have a chance to bicycle at the therapist's office.

Love to all,
Bernice