Over a Week Now

Again, this is Merwin filling in for Bernice.

The picture is of a radiant Bernice in the summer of 1983 when she had just turned 50. When she was out with our oldest son, Harvey, who had just turned 30, they were often taken as siblings. David, our youngest son, had turned 18 that summer. Bernice was an avid runner during that period and customarily logged 5 to 8 mile runs daily. The next year she had the thrill of completing the NY City marathon in a decent time of a little over 5 hours. I do love to brag about my darling.

As usual, click on the picture to enlarge and then click on the back arrow to return to the blog.

Today Bernice began her rehab with a reduced weekend schedule of both physical and occupational therapies. Sunday is a rest day but we anticipate an intense schedule of therapy starting on Monday. I found out today that it is the T9 vertebra which she fractured. This, along with her head wound is keeping her on diet of pain meds. She is reading on her own but finds it a comfort to have me read select portions of the NY Times. With her help via the phone I picked out and took to her a wardrobe of clothes she will wear during her coming workouts. Somehow, under my stewardship, our house is just not as neat as usual.

Thanks for all the good wishes and emails,
Merwin

Now in Rehab!

Dear Friends and Family,

This is Merwin substituting for Bernice until she can take the helm again.

The photo is of Bernice at 13 in her Uncle Daneel's junk yard in Buffalo. We met about a year later when I was just turning 15 and I was immediately star struck by this perky beauty. This coming January we will celebrate our 6oth anniversary.

Late this afternoon Bernice was transferred to the Rehab unit at Glen Cove Hospital. This unit serves the entire North Shore LIJ Hospital system and has an excellent reputation. She was deemed medically fit enough by the medical staff to go to rehab but she still wears a yellow band around her wrist signifying that she requires help to get into and out of bed and walk to the bathroom. I am not allowed to perform this service. In ICU she had a single room and attentive, constant nursing service. Prior to late this afternoon she was in a double room and now she is a rather large room she shares with three other patients. Many of the other patients have had knee or hip replacements or back operations. We did not read the book yet but we were told that she will be working with staff many hours each day to strengthen her legs and back and I can visit only after 4:00. I asked one of the nurses about the expected time of her stay. She said it very much depends on the individual progress but two weeks might be a good guess.

Bernice would still prefer not to receive either phone calls or see visitors. I have been printing out any emails she receives and taking these to her each day.

Thank you all for your good wishes,
Merwin

Another Bernice Misadventure

Bernice Hawaii 1984


As dictated by Bernice to Merwin:

Dear friends and family,

I am so sorry to report that on the day after my wonderful birthday I fell again—on the tile floor in my kitchen. The result was gash in my skull with much bleeding, and an injury to my back and hip. Merwin reported hearing a frightening and resounding crash as my skull slammed into the hard tile. I was whisked off by ambulance to the Glen Cove ER. After several hours, x-rays and CAT scans and 7 stitches, I ended up in ICU where I got excellent care. Now I am in a regular room and using a walker.

In my usual optimistic style, I am glad that this happened after Laury's birthday dinner, after Lincoln spent some days with us recovering from his hernia repair, and after my birthday gathering in NYC with my beloved friends in my writing group.

I will write as soon as I can but will depend, for now, on Merwin to bring my voice to you.

Love to all, Bernice

What a birthday!

Dear Friends and family,

We went to NYC yesterday. I wanted to post photos but am having trouble, so I'll just tell the story. Our first stop in Manhattan was the NYPL, where I left my Enfolded Hamlets book for Jay, who was not there yesterday. (The first copy of my book had been stolen from the open shelves.) We took a look at the Allen Room, and though I have not been able to work at the library since the pelvic break on 3-16, my shelf was intact, with the books I was using then.

We were in our apartment by early afternoon having grabbed a bite to take to the apartment at Zyrtec, the excellent emporium next door. What a pleasure to be back in NYC. Bryant Park was hopping. Broadway musicals blasting from the 6th Ave stage till 1 p.m.

The scaffolding is gone! The building is clean! and what a difference! The recently restored south and west sides of the NYPL, which we see from our window, are now brightly visible to us. All the buildings sparkle with a brightness we have not seen for months and months. The scaffolding, with its yellowish plastic sheathing, did not seem especially onerous, but now that it is gone, it is amazing. Already two pigeons have made their way to the ledge in front of our windows, billing and cooing, kissing, beak to beak. They also groom each other, or they may be little kisses— peck, peck. The wonderful buildings in view are white or beige with caps of white clouds on their heads. It's one of those perfect days. I am so very happy here. It is a joy to enter our lovely building.

There are apartments for sale right now, including a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, penthouse duplex with a large terrace for $999,999, reduced from 1,100,000. There's a one-bedroom for $689,000 and another one bedroom for $679,000. These smaller apartments are about twice as big as our studio. But this little space is good for us. I am very happy here, with Merwin reading TLS not more than 7 feet away from me. (Thanks Kathryn for the copies of TLS; they are always worth reading even when they don't have anything Hamlet-ish, which is what I am looking for specifically.

One of the fliers announcing the apartments for sale mentioned that our building is the only residential building in the whole Bryant Park area, which would take in 42nd, 40th, and 6th Ave. between 40th and 42th. It's fine with us: the street is every busy, subway and bus lines are close by, and while it is not a hopping neighborhood, it has what we want.

A little after 4 I made my way alone by cab to Barbara's apartment—and that neighborhood, the lower East Side IS hopping, full of restaurants and young people along with the remnant from the old Bowery. Kathryn had phoned Barbara's from Italy to wish me a happy birthday and had sent Pro Seco for us to drink a toast. She called again after I arrived to sing the birthday song to me and speak to all individually. Wow, what attention. We read our pieces, only 5 of us, so we could more or less take our time. I wrote about Ron McLarty's book, "The Dropper," which I enjoyed very much. We got to the restaurant, Boca Chica, a wonderful East Side sort of place with delicious food, low prices, attentive staff—everything one could want in sweet, friendly place. See the reviews at http://nymag.com/listings/restaurant/boca-chica/ The writing group treated both me and Merwin to supper—and sang Happy Birthday! Most of the customers and staff joined in. My oh my, I was embarrassed. Hedda drove us home. What a day! Now the big event of today is working on HW if I can and getting ready, minimally for 4 guests for the week. This is the sort of thing I usually love to do, but my condition is not helpful, especially the swollen feet that make it difficult to walk. I know, though, how to pare work down to a minimum. So I plan to concentrate on the fun. We'll see how the week unfolds.

Right now I can look back at my 77th birthday (How did this happen to me, this advanced age?), and I will remember it for all the love, Face book messages, email and phone messages. Why, you'd think I was 100 rather than 77! But considering how I was last year, 77 is an achievement.

Love to all,
Bernice

More old photos

Dear Family and friends,

I never know how the photos will turn out on the blog. These small ones can be enlarged, as usual, by clicking and then using back arrow to return to the blog. On the left is a whole crew. From the left, Debbie (cousin Gert's daughter); Sylvia, our precious almost daughter; Honey, a California cousin; and below right Harvey and Arthur. The picture on the right shows cousin Nancy and Mina, Merwin's mother, at about age 55. I am happy that all these cousins are in our lives. Arthur commented on seeing Sylvia's photo that she looks exactly the same today. Indeed her features have changed the least of us all, I think.

Lincoln did leave after lunch and called twice from home to let us know everything was going well. He may or may not miss my mothering, but he is happy to get into his own routine. I am impressed by his resilience.

I had a good chat with Amy and Dr. M. about some difficulties I am having. Dr. M. was very concerned that my quality of life is not good on these meds. He recommended adding another med, and indeed it did seem to improve things. We decided, though, to play it safe and stay home yesterday. We will go into the City today for my writing group meeting. I have written a description of the novel The Dropper by Ron McLarty that I recently listened to on audio (Random House). We got it from our library. I got a very nice ad for it from bbmaster@luxinteractive.com, and I hope it helps sell the book, which I liked very much.

I am feeling much better than I did yesterday and for the last few days, so I am looking forward to good times in the City today and with Rae-Rae and crew starting tomorrow. The hamletworks.org project is going well, not so much from my work (very little) but because Nick has sprung ahead now that his regular course work is over. He has many responsibilities, though. We are adding all the time, and it is getter better and better. Laury and I are working well together on our Measure for Measure notes, one of the most important parts of our edition. So even a bad day like yesterday is not without its successes.

Today is my birthday, and many people have already written to wish me joy. I regret the end of “76” because when anyone would ask me my age I could sing out—“76 trombones”! Do you remember "The Music Man"? What can be sung to 77? A song of Thanksgiving, I guess, because a year ago I didn't think I would be here now. It's good to be alive and active and happy!

Love to you all,
Bernice

Catching up

These photos are of Margie and Louise, the two daughters, now grown up, of our neighbors and friends, Vivian and Mel. I don't have a photo of their son Saul. I should because he is a world traveler and probably has sent a photo to his parents in some exotic locale. The photos, of course, are more of the cache that Merwin is converting from slides.


Dear friends and family,

Sorry I missed a day, It's a little hectic around here. On Monday, Merwin and I went to an eye doctor for a regular checkup. We left the house at 10:20, and we didn't get back until 12:50—that's the extent to which this practice overbooks. It's disgraceful. The doctor himself is very nice and laid back. I won't go into detail. We are both OK and set for an appointment in a year. I had not expected to leave Lincoln alone so long, but he did well.

I rushed off to my physical therapy session, and the rest of the day was spent on email, chatting with Lincoln and resting.

Yesterday we had a surprise gift from my writing group, a big bouquet of fruit! It was delicious. We ate some, tucked some away, and invited some neighbors to share some with us. They took too little, though! The bouquet was for my birthday coming up tomorrow.

Lincoln wants to leave for his home in Smithtown today. I am a bit nervous about this, but he knows what he can do. Knowing he was leaving, I asked him to help me figure out how to do a few things on my computer. He is a whiz, a gifted, knowledgeable person. Just one example. He noticed on our phones a message "Missed Call": this was always on our phones because we didn't know how to get rid of it. He was here about 2 minutes, noticed the phone, asked me if I knew we had missed a call. I said we had not missed a call recently. This was a permanent message. Instantaneously he figured out how to get rid of the message. I am bragging I know. Can't help it. I am so proud of him—and all my sons for that matter.

Time for breakfast and another busy day today!

Love to all,
Bernice

So many photos, so little space

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVE!

Dear friends and family,

The frustration of placing photos is that they look very different in the draft version than on the blog itself. The photo of Dave alone is from 1966 and the photo of him and his older brother is from 1967. Lincoln was already showing his brother how to climb into the tree house.

How these images and the thoughts they generate make me smile!

Lincoln did very well on day three after surgery: no or few pain pills, walking outside, and mostly chatting with friends from all over. We did a good amount of talking, too, which is fun.

Merwin and I took a quick ride to Rothkamp's farm where most of the fruits and vegetables sold are either grown there or elsewhere on Long Island. The corn in various stages of development lines the road into the farm stand. We love going there and consider ourselves lucky to have one of the few remaining Nassau County farms so close to us, 1/2 mile away. I reminisced about walking there with a bag for purchases or riding my bike with the baskets, front and back. Or I used to bike to Youngs' Farm, a bit further and more gentrified or should I say faux countrified—but with very good vegetables and fruit pies along with the potholders featuring roosters. We were back within a half hour with wonderful corn, zucchini, a green pepper, a cucumber, tomatoes from their fields! an onion with a chunky stem, and eggplant.

I immediately set out to prepare Gazpacho: In the blender, puree one cucumber, one green pepper, a little onion, a couple of cloves of garlic, 1/2 C white vinegar (or less for less tart taste), 1/2 C olive oil (or less for reduced fat), a few basil leaves, and a can of good tomatoes. No point using fresh tomatoes: the canned have a deeper flavor and are less expensive. Churn this mix until fairly smooth. In separate little dishes, prepare the garnishes: chopped radishes and carrots and crumbled pita chips.

Lincoln and I had corn for lunch: delicious. Merwin, unfortunately, can't eat corn. Lincoln and I like it hot, without butter or salt, just plain. I cook it in the microwave, about 3 minutes per ear.

The main dish for Lincoln’s dinner was vegetables with pasta. I made a whole box of pasta, drained, and mixed in frozen string beans, sauteed eggplant and zucchine (with onion and garlic too), a bag of frozen carrots and peas for color, a drizzle of olive oil, and grated cheese on the side. I put an appropriate amount, I think, for Lincoln and his friend Rob who would be having dinner together, with directions. I set the table for them in the dining room so they would have room to breathe. I have at least a couple of pasta meals left over, and if the gazpacho is gone (which it will be) we'll have some pasta today with some good tomato sauce as well as the cheese.

All this preparation was necessary because Merwin and I joined Laury, Boris and Elyssa for dinner at Cafe Toulouse in Port Washington, a very lovely restaurant with excellent but simple food, and we did not want to leave Lincoln on his own. He's too delicate yet, though doing very well. We were celebrating Laury's birthday, but she brought me a present for mine on Thurs. (I am wearing them now: they are beautiful red, round earrings, and I love earrings). Rob walked in the door just as we were leaving for Port, and by chance he was walking out just as we returned. So Lincoln wasn't left alone for more than a few seconds.

Lots to do today so I better stop chatting,

Love to all,
Bernice

Photos, photos, everywhere

Dear family and friends,

Above are our four sons in late 1965 or early 1966, from the left, Arthur, Lincoln, Harvey and all have hair! Dave, born on July 19th, is growing his first hair. Happy almost birthday, Dave! They all look so precious to me. It's interesting, though, how the relationship with grown children changes—of course it must. They are wonderful people, and we admire them all, each very different from his brothers. The painting above the couch is by Abbott Meader, and we still have it, though elsewhere in the room.

Merwin is engaged deeply, as is his wont, in his current project. He is converting all the slides of people into iPhoto versions. It's wonderful to see these, and very interesting to realize that all the many, many photos of gorgeous scenery no longer have meaning to us. Maybe when they could be projected on a screen and could show their majesty in full we could appreciate them. But it's lucky that Merwin finds these disposable, because that means a little less work for him.

Lincoln is doing very well. Of course the pain meds are indispensable, but he is able to walk around, use my laptop, play his games, and have many conversations with friends. At times, he uses one of the canes we have around, especially when trying to get up from a seated position. It's quite clear, though, that he cannot be left alone. In fact, though we were both in the house, I was busy in the bathroom and Merwin could not hear Lincoln's shouts for help from his study. Lincoln has a loud horn to blow that everyone on the street would be able to hear, but he didn't use it. I finally got to him and was able to help him out of bed, where he was stuck. Scary moment.

Lincoln's appetite is excellent; he is very careful about salt intake, but so are we (mostly), so that's no problem. I am going to make a pasta primavera today for his supper.

I crash very early in the evening, and then of course wake up early, but the deep, dream-filled sleep is wonderful. Still, the negative aspects of CEP-701 and the lack of real relief—plus the problems with swelling—make me think that my time on the drug is going to be limited. Maybe there will be something else, or maybe not. In any case, I am trucking on.

Love to all,
Bernice

A good day

Dear family and friends,

The beautiful building on the left is where we have our tiny studio apartment. The chairman of the board sent the photo to all to show that the scaffolding, which had obscured the facade for months, has finally been removed. Behind the scaffolding, all kinds of repairs were made and the building and windows were cleaned. Isn't it lovely?

Notice the ledge above the arched windows: Our apartment is behind the middle window above the ledge. The apartment east of ours has been sold recently, but we have not yet met the woman who bought it. We face Bryant Park and can see a corner of the NYPL as well. We are very happy there. Wish we could be there ore often.

Andrew Carnegie built it as the Engineers Club, so it was then like a hotel with some grand rooms and many architectural niceties. The entrance lobby is still very beautiful and elegant.

We expect to be there next week; we are hoping that Lincoln will be OK on his own here, or that Dave can come and visit him while we are away.

Lincoln is doing remarkably well. The pain meds make him reasonably comfortable, and his appetite is good. I made a turkey soup day before yesterday, and the meat furnished three meals yesterday.

I felt better yesterday than I had for a while. The swelling is down a bit, but I still had to stay off my feet. The highlight of the day was an iChat with our dear friends, Michèle and Raymond Willems. What a pleasure to talk together at length while smiling at each other. I hope they do get a computer for their Perros vacation home so we can iChat when they are there. It is obviously such a good choice of vacation home: they can be there often, with or without family. They escaped the heat wave, which was all over France—except where they were.

Jack gave me an excellent session of physical therapy, and afterward I did a little shopping. I worked very little at my computer, but what I did—at least I thought so at the time—was choice! So things are good all around.

Love to all,
Bernice

Surgery successful!

The photo on the left shows Harvey staring lovingly at Lincoln, his little brother, while the cousins, Eve and Jon, look on. On the fight, Lincoln has shown his brother Dave how to get up the big willow tree, into the tree house that the older brothers and Merwin had built, I think.

Dear friends and family,

Dave took care of Lincoln all day—took him to the hospital at 4:30 a.m. Drove him to the pharmacy and finally here. Lincoln had driven here the night before so his car will be available when he feels ready to drive home. Dave got the doctor's report after surgery: about 10 words: piece of cake, went perfectly. Turns out Lincoln needed only one side repaired because it wasn't an inherent weakness but something he did probably while heavy lifting as an EMT at the Smithtown fire department.

He seems pretty good, walking, a little bent over, some pain, some concerns, but much better than I remember Merwin feeling.

Anyway, I can't really stay here at the computer till I see what he needs for breakfast, so I'll continue tomorrow.

Love to all,
Bernice

Way too early

To the left, Rae-Rae, as we have always called Rachel, in 1981. To the right, her daughter Debbie, 2010. Wow for both!




Dear friends and family,

I have been up for a couple of hours because Lincoln is here and will be picked up in a few minutes by Dave to be taken to Stony Brook Hospital for a double hernia operation. Oh my. It'll be a nerve-wracking day, I know.

Yesterday was relatively uneventful. As my Mr. Sinai Dr. M. directed, I got an ultra sound scan of my left leg. He was concerned about a possible clot. That seems to be something we MPDers are likely to get. I am not sure why, but the tech told me right away that there was no clot. Usually techs say nothing. Later, Amy, from Mt. Sinai, called to ask about the results, and I was amazed that the Imagining company had not sent her the information. When one is in a trial, one gets a lot of attention. My dear Dr. Kurzyna sometimes phoned to follow up on something, but it was a rarity, maybe twice in 5 years. But Amy checks up on us regularly. Notice the "us": Merwin is very much in on this.

In the afternoon I got an unexpected phone call from Amy at my nail salon, asking if I'd like to came in. Yes, I would! They must be very slow if they are calling customers and looking for business. I guess in gratitude for my swift, positive response, Amy gave me a terrific 8-minute back massage: the usual is 2 minutes. What a nice treat for myself. Now if Paul could only give me a haircut!

I tried Bobbie and Norm's mock chopped liver recipe, which we had tasted at their house a couple of weeks ago. Nowhere as good as the version we had there. Who knows? the quality and the inexact measurement of the walnuts halves, the quality of the pumpernickel bagel, the amount of onion—any or all of these things might have affected the results. I enjoyed eating it, but it wasn't the treat I was expecting. My appetite continues to be enormous. I am still gaining weight.

Through the day my foot got more and more swollen; I tried to keep it up and give it a rest. After a while it also got painful. We see the neurologist this morning.

But I have to say, I am smiling. I am happy that Lincoln, who is single, wants to be here with us to recover. I am happy that Rae-Rae, Debbie, David and a friend of Rae-Rae's will be visiting us soon. And I am happy that I have lots of things to do to keep my mind busy and contented.

Love to you all,
Bernice

Another skippable day

To the left, Florence and David, now in Lenox, MA, here shown sitting under our deck umbrella in those days long forgotten when you could sit outside at all. To the right. a photo I call "Silly Me," because I look so goofy. It has a pretty good view of a corner of my study. Both of these photos are from June. Merwin has been joyfully capturing old slides and sending a few of them to me. I will start exhibiting them here soon.

Dear friends and family,

Yesterday was another one of those lost days; the whole day from early morning to night was spent a) getting ready to go to Mt. Sinai to see Dr. M because of my toes swelling, b) traveling in by train and subway to our apartment to rest and have lunch, c) taking the Madison Avenue bus to 101st St. and getting at Mt. Sinai early for our appointment, d) waiting for Dr. M: we knew it would be a long wait because we had been double-booked—and the wait for him was an hour or more, and finally e) getting on the 5th Avenue bus right to Penn Station, arriving too late for the last rush-hour train and having to take a 7:44, and entering our house close to 9 p.m. Nothing to do by then but prepare some phone numbers for the follow up visits Dr. M. prescribed: a scan of the left leg and a neurology report on my legs. The best news is that the platelets are in the normal range, but the WBC are over 100 again. I got the leg scan this morning early and the technician told me there were no clots. Hooray for that. And tomorrow I have an appointment with the neurologist.

Dr. M is disappointed with my progress on CEP-701 because other people on the trial are doing better, but I got a new supply of pills for the next two weeks. I suspect that after all the reports are in, he'll drop me. Perhaps he'll have something else for me, or I just go from here: recover from the pelvis break and go back to "normal." Not so bad.

The best thing all day was hearing from Sylvia and having a chat with her while I was in bed. Merwin is, of course, a brick, going through all this doctoring without a murmur of complaint. I can tell this is stressing him, however.

Better news tomorrow, I am sure! The main pleasure at home is working on Shakespeare. It's amazing how much I can learn just by going over a text closely, line by line. The fun is deciding how to convey something that is inherently rich and wonderful to students—without being pedantic.

I'd love to hear from you all!
Love,
Bernice

Some days are best to skip

To the right, Lyn and Ken Rothwell, in 1980; below to left, Brian Isaakowitz, June 27, 2010, above Bernice and Merwin also in 1980 in England. The Rothwells and we had been at the Stratford Shakespeare Conference.


Dear Friends and family,

I don't have much to say about the weekend—except that Arthur phoned and told us about his birthday weekend, prepared by Debbie. She had arranged for a ride on a launch, then a secret destination B&B, and the pièce de resistance, a ride on a hot air balloon. Boy did he love that. She could not have picked a better gift.

My day was pretty punk. Every few days I end up paying for the activities of the days before. No details necessary. I did manage to do some work on Measure for Measure read the paper and The New Yorker, prepare a couple of meals, and sleep a lot. Supper, by the way, an impromptu meal, was very good. I made farfalle noodles, kept them warm in a colander over boiling water and added good olive oil and very good Parmesan, which I cut up from a whole block, and which melted into the noodles. Yum.

Expecting a better day today!

Love to all,
Bernice

Busy couple of days ahead

This is our son Arthur, whose birthday is today, in 1972. Happy Birthday, Arthur! How he loved motorcycles and especially his motorcycle. How I tried my best to persuade him that he should give it up, but he ignored me, even after his cousin Paul had a serious accident, which was not at all his fault, and lost his spleen. The motorcycle is still part of Arthur's life, and I no longer ask about it.

Dear family and friends,

We spoke to Arthur earlier, who told us that Debbie had prepared a wonderful weekend for him. He called from a launch, which was just part of the festivities. We'll hear more about it on Sunday I expect.

Thinking of my wonderful children makes me smile.

On Wednesday, two of my friends and I met for lunch—along with our husbands. We three women have July birthdays and try to celebrate together once a year. Good thing in a way that the restaurant, Louis's on the sound in Port Washington, was noisy, because the three birthday women were laughing and even singing. Because our table was so big (meant for 8 or 10 instead of 6), we had to separate into two groups. Rudy is totally deaf and has trouble reading lips, but smiles a lot. Norman is also a bit deaf but hates to wear his hearing aid. Merwin is also a little bit hard of hearing. I won't say anything about Rosie and Bobbie. I have known them for some 55 years, and Rosie and Bobbie have known each other even longer. We don't see each other often because Bobbie and Norman spend most of the year in Florida, and Rosie and Rudie live in Connecticut. A fine time was had by all!

After a nap, we took off for the City, late enough so the heat had dissipated a little bit. Our apartment air-conditioner quickly cooled the air, and very soon we went to sleep to get ready for the morning at Mt. Sinai. Dr. M. is still on vacation, but Amy is back, and we saw her and Noel—both always a pleasure. The charm and kindness of all the people there makes the long visit more bearable than it would otherwise be.

I don't know why but I did not really pay attention to the results of the BMB (bone marrow biopsy) when the report came out, but I got the paper report on Tuesday. Not good. It's amazing to think of all that not-so-good stuff going on in my bones. But I am doing my best to live one day at a time (with plans for several days in advance also), to work, to play, to enjoy my family and friends, to read and to think. It's a very very good life. And I have no complaints. I am lucky that negative features of the condition are minimal annoyances for the most part: no need to list them here. I am actually feeling much better this year than I did a year ago.

Merwin and I experimented with another way to get to Mt. Sinai: we walked across Bryant Park by way of the path behind the NYPL, get on the #7 subway going east (which we usually take going west from Woodside to Bryant Park), transferred one stop later at Grand Central station, and then to the #6 Lexington Avenue local. All this was very fast because trains came before we had time to think. Then there as a hot walk from 103 and Lexington to 100 and Madison. And I had forgotten my cane in Glen Head! I don't know how I did that! So poor Merwin had to be my cane. As a result of the visit I almost got clearance to come back in three weeks, rather than one. But Merwin mentioned the numbness in my toes, and since that is not one of the known effects of CEP-701, I am to come in next week on Tues. when Dr. M will be back. I hope that after that I will have three weeks off.

After a rest and a snack, we went to Lincoln Center to see The Grand Manner by A. R. (Pete) Gurney, featuring a young prep school student from Buffalo named Pete who visits the great Katharine Cornell (Kate Burton), also originally from Buffalo, in the green room after her performance as Cleopatra fairly soon after WW II, and gets an autograph: then Pete tells us that he thought he could fashion a play out of this true encounter, and, with a shift in lighting, we then saw that play. It was too long by about 30 minutes though it was only 90 minutes long. Aspects of Pete's fabricated play were unbelievable. Still, we enjoyed it more because of Buffalo and Shakespeare associations than because of its inherent excellence. The acting was good, but the audience was unruly, with exits to and entrances from the lobby and shifts in seating now and then. The play was fun, though. We went to Lincoln Center by subway but returned by bus: there is one that we get at Lincoln Center and it drops us off at the NYPL on 5th Avenue. It's slower but there are no stairs to cope with. Back to #32 40th Street, and sleep, and then in the morning, after breakfast and some reading, back to #70, our other home.

I've just made a ratatouille for both of us, but Merwin prefers to have a poached egg tonight on a slice of the wonderful Challah bread we bought today on the way home, at Penn Station. Our house was nice and cool but not too cool. And so another NYC jaunt.

Have a wonderful weekend all;
Much love to Arthur and Debbie especially on this birthday weekend,
Bernice

Found out why I am smiling

Dear family and friends,

Merwin has been going wild with old slides and has sent many to me; I started putting them on my desktop but he quickly overwhelmed me. These were some early ones, Anton to the left and his mother and sister, Vaughan and Marisa, to the right. I have posted photos of the more recent images of this beautiful family—dear friends all—one lovely portrait of Vaughan with her three children, and you may remember Marisa's darling girls.

On p. 6 of the Science Times yesterday, Derek Isaacowitz, who happens to be our friends Toby and Elliott's son-in-law, married to their son Eric, wrote that folks over 55 were much more likely to focus on positive images than bad. Here's a quotation:

"More striking, Dr. Isaacowitz found in another study that older people were twice as likely as younger ones to be 'rapid regulators'—people whose mood bounced back quickly, sometimes within minutes, after ruminating on depressing memories."

I think I should not announce my plans on my blog, because only two of the items I mentioned actually happened: Elaine and I did meet for coffee and muffin at Gila's in the JCC, and during the short time I was there, I was happy to see a few people I know. I never did get to the weight room, however. Didn't get to the dentist either. And the Rabbi's tea with us will take place another day. I did go to my dermatologist and got the mixed message: the rash could be caused by the CEP-701. But she will try an antibiotic lotion first and if that doesn't clear it, then a biopsy is required to tell what's causing it. She didn't want to biopsy my face until she had to. I have another appointment in two weeks.

My appetite was enormous yesterday. I enjoyed every bite. I sometimes think it would be good to get into better control and get rid of these 15 prednisone pounds now that I am finished with it (hooray! I hope forever). But then I say, "What's the difference?" I never could lose weight without help. OA (Overeaters' Anonymous) did it for me for years, many years ago.

Onward to the busy day!
Love to all,
Bernice

Why am I smiling?

Dear friends and family,

With this knee problem continuing, a gash in my forearm (just a skin-scrape really, but very ugly) that spontaneously started bleeding this morning after being quiet all day yesterday, itching pretty uncomfortable, the pelvis, and all the rest, it does amaze me that I am smiling. Why? Because it's another beautiful, if excessively hot, day; because this morning I mailed my essay to SQ with comments to the editor; because I had a terrific work day with Laury yesterday; because, because. I guess because it's my nature: thank you, Mama. You were ever cheerful.

Today will be a blur. I will see the dentist about the tooth he tried to patch together: I don't think it's working. I will try to see the dermatologist about this rash on my face; she's a hard one to see on a moment's notice, but if I can get her opinion about my rash, I won't have to see the dermatologist, maybe, at Mt. Sinai on Thursday. Then there are the fun things: coffee with Elaine at the JCC where I will also try a few arm exercises in the weight room, and tea with Rabbi Lee, who is coming here at 3 p.m.

Lots to do before then! So I will make this a short one. Merwin is busy making slides into photos, and soon I should be able to put them up on the blog, one by one, or a few a a time.

Wishing everyone peace and serenity today and all days,
Love,
Bernice

Holiday or not?

Dear friends and family,

For many this is still the 4th of July weekend holiday, so Happy Last Day of the Weekend! It's the birthday of my beautiful friend Phe. We have known each other since our sons were in a coop nursery school together, where mothers did everything. My son Arthur will be 58 this Friday, so Phe and I have known each other and have been friends for 54 years! I am smiling thinking of our youth and enthusiasm, which we both retain in abundance.

Yesterday we had an impromptu lunch with Evelyn and Harris and then went to an Italian movie, "I am Love," but it could have been "I am Lust." Oh, my, what hokey sex scenes, with cross shots of flowers and insects, and it went on and on. I don't know. This just seems an excuse for filmmaking. Remember those 1930s films? The excessive details were not necessary, especially those views of his crack as he labored over her. But we had fun with our friends Harris and Evelyn, and doing something spontaneously is a good idea to get unstuck from the mud.

To my woes—face rash, pelvis—I have added a knee problem, same leg that the pelvis impacts, so maybe it's from favoring that side too much? Or exercising too vigorously? that is, comparatively. I'll check it out with Jack, the P.T. this morning. No holiday for him.

Love to all for best wishes on the rest of this holiday,
Bernice

Skipped a day!

Dear friends and family,

The best news of the day (yesterday) was a Skype call from Kathryn and Antonio in Italy. They don't have a camera, but Skype provides voice service from their computer. They saw me! It is so good to be able to be in touch with distant friends. And of course I have email from many people who are dear to me, including my faithful partner, Laury, who bears with all my failings (like the need for naps when she is ready to work).

Not much happening around here. Just the usual. The biggest news I guess is the effect CEP-701 seems to have on my sleep patterns. I sleep deeply, both naps and night. Last night I think I was asleep before 8 p.m.. Merwin came in and turned off the light, as he has been doing these last few days, and I didn't hear him or the explosion of fireworks in the neighborhood. I seem to dream, but cannot remember the dreams. I haven't slept this well or deeply in years!

I wish my pelvis would get better. There is still pain, and I still need the cane to get around outdoors. I don't feel steady enough on my feet to manage without it. But, OK, so I look like the old lady I am.

We went for a walk this morning before the weather got really hot; we feel so lucky that we have Tappen Beach and Hempstead Harbor within a few minutes of our home. Merwin walks fast ahead of me, and I walk slowly. Today I sat on a bench about half way down the Sycamore path and watched the water-scene, and he picked me up in the car. We saw loads of Canada (so-called) geese and one egret (why is it that the singleton is so special to us?), a woman kayaking, lots of dogs, a very happy one racing into the water after a ball, lots of walkers. I smile and say "Hello" to all I see, and feel very lucky to be there.

I have developed a rash on my face and will have to deal with it. If it's an effect of CEP-701, I may have to end the experiment. I know this because I sent an email to the Mt. Sinai team and my dear Doc. M. answered from Paris, with advice to see my dermatologist as soon as possible. Ha! I wonder if I can get in to see her tomorrow? If not, I will have to see the derm at Mt. Sinai: oh my. that would extend the visit for hours, no doubt.

I will go with the flow. Friends Harris and Evelyn phoned to ask us about lunch today and a movie this afternoon, and I said "Yes!" I have loads of work to do, but I also want to get out. The work will still be there tonight.

Love to all, and a Happy 4th of July!
Bernice

Happy Birthday, Harv!

Dear Friends and family,

Today has to be one of the most perfect days of the entire year: bright, clear, warm and welcoming—a perfect day for July 4th weekend, which starts today with our eldest son's birthday. We phoned him this morning to wish him a happy day and found that Sandy and their friends Ellen and Gary with whom they are spending the weekend had all forgotten the day—that's a real change for us; we're usually the ones who have to be reminded of birthdays.

First Friday means lunch for RSNS women at the Jolly Fisherman, where we all enjoy each other's company and the delicious food.

The rest of the day will be quiet, with perhaps an outing to Youngs Farm. Then back to Measure for Measure. We will be home all weekend, but will talk to all our sons, I suppose.

Happy 4th of July to all,
Bernice

Getting stronger

Above, Laury and Elyssa: can you tell they are mother and daughter?
To the left, Pete from MIT and the hamletworks.org team; we met here about a month ago to talk about the future of the site: from the left, Nick, Pete, Eric and Hardin with me in front. To the right, the three hamletworks.org teacm membeers on their way to the airport: Hardin, Eric and Nick. These are all dear people I know because of Shakespeare. Lucky me.

Dear friends and family,

It makes me smile to think of these friends and fellow workers in the Shakespeare vineyard. I am now as hooked on photographs as I was when I first had a little Brownie camera. And how I loved the instant photos I took with my Polaroid—to say nothing of the beautiful good camera my sister bought us to celebrate the birth of our first child, Harvey Jon, whose birthday is tomorrow. Then for years we did not have a camera. And did not miss it. People often sent us photos; Harvey is an incessant photo taker. And that seemed enough. But then my cousin Gert left her disposable camera when she was here. We completed the photos on that one, bought another, and now have ordered in lieu of airline tickets a fine camera with our frequent flier mileage. The photos above all come from the disposable cameras: not too bad. But just wait!

This morning when I got up I had a real urge to go to the gym at the JCC. But then I remembered that we had to go shopping early this morning (to avoid the crowds) and decided to wait till I could make a date to meet friends there.

Yesterday was a quiet day. Jack, the P.T., says I am much stronger now than I was two weeks ago. That's good news. But the discomfort is still very much there: when will it go away? Otherwise the day was very much as usual, a bit of work on this and that, a nap here and there, and email exchanges with friends. Careful watch of the symptoms that come with CEP-701.

I am thinking ahead to the completion of our edition of Measure for Measure to other little things I want to write for the Shakespeare Newsletter, all having to do with Hamlet.

A very lovely day today here. I hope it is that for all of you in every way,
Love,
Bernice