This and That

Michèle and Raymond are having a good time with two of their grandsons, the ones who live in Le Harve. Above, they are at a huge fair. We admire their stamina—and from their communications to us—their joy in the growing pleasures of participating in the lives of these developing children.

Dear Friends and Family,

My communications are not coming very fast, I know. But there is little to say, or I have dried up. That's the more likely reason for the dearth of blog-updates.

We learned a few days ago that Mt. Sinai had inadvertently missed one of the blood tests they needed for the trial. What with one thing and another, we didn't get around to getting a blood draw until today, Friday, and the results won't reach Dr. K. until Monday, and to Dr. M. thereafter. If that is OK, then I think it will be a "go," perhaps as soon as next Thursday.

I had wanted to go to the City this weekend, but Merwin did not want to encounter the Halloween parades. So if we don't begin the trial next week, I would like to go to the apartment.

Ilona went with me to Tappan Beach and the Sycamore walk today. She wanted to see how to get there from her home nearby. I think it's likely that Merwin and I will run into her and Manny sometimes on that walk. It was a high tide today, sun glistening on the water, clouds soft and scattered.

I finished another Donna Leon mystery, and have begun (E. are you reading this?) a Trollope novel I found on my book shelf, The Vicar of Bullhampton, not the more famous Vicar of Wakefield and not as good, I think. It's a lovely reprint with drawings reproduced from a 19th-century printing. I am especially interested in it because Sophie is writing her disertation about 19th-20th-century literature, that is, she will be writing when she finishes her course work next semester.

• Tomorrow we are going to our first HD Met opera, a favorite, Don Giovanni.
• Now I must turn to Macbeth, Laury is returning from Staunton tomorrow, and I hope to have something for her for our chapter.
• Dawn, you are high on my list!

Love to all,
Bernice

Boita and me, busy in the kitchen on her second day with me< Friday 21 Oct. Looks nice, doesn't she? I think we will work well together. We are standing near our kitchen window, separating flowerlets of cauliflower.

Dear Friends and Family,

Thursday was the big day at Mt. Sinai. We left the house at 8:15, and I arrived in the reception area by 9:45 for our 10:00 appointment. With my wheelie, I was able to get there by myself after Merwin dropped me off at the entrance. Once there, a misunderstanding led us in a chase for guidance. The reception desk should have phoned Dr. M.'s office to get someone to meet me there, but instead they told me to go directly to X-ray. Once there (a long walk, probably about two city blocks if not more, they didn't know what to do with me, until finally Alice and Amy showed up from Dr.M's office with scripts in their hands. Alice went over the protocol for the drug to make sure I understood the procedures; I signed it and after some discussion I was called in for an ultrasound, then a quick turnaround to X-ray, also fast. At this point, I was ready for breakfast, which we got in the cafeteria on the 1st floor. Pizza and coke.

After that, there was a wait for June to arrive at 1 o'clock to draw blood, do another EKG, then draw more blood, and finally draw some more over a space of hours. We had been taken into an examining room for all this, had seen a cheery Dr. M and his team in the hall, and everyone, including me were raring to go. The hardest part was the BMB of course, but I have been through this so many times that I can take it. Dr/ M is very good at it. Bo, a 4th-year med student, was his helper, and Dr. M. chatted with him about plans for next year, evidently taken with this fellow's gifts. What I noticed about him was that he had a rather serious demeanor but flashed the most radiant smiles when probed. After that. other tests, results placed in the drug co.'s form for their analysis. Dr. M also biopsied the rash, almost faded to nothingness, on my legs. A problem had turned up in June's first blood draw: platelets 46. They had to be at least 50 for me to get in. Normal low is 150. Dr. M. asked a technician to examine a sample of my blood again and count the platelets: this, without telling her why. The answer came back: 52. Hooray by all. Dr. M, enthusiastically, I'll take it, get that in the computer.

By the time we left, it was after 5 p.m. I waited on the sidewalk for Merwin to get the automobile, sitting on my wheelie. Merwin thought it would be a great idea to stop at Sarabeth's for a light meal, the one a couple of blocks away on Madison. I agreed somewhat reluctantly, but I certainly could see the advantage of leaving after some of the rush had receded. We had a nice meal: I had the famous tomato soup and french fries and took some fries home.

At home, I was so tired I could cry, but not sleep. Eventually I drifted off. Dr. M told me to stop the Hydrea, and I am sure that's why I was more energetic when I got up the next day. When Boita came, she put my wheelie in her car and we drove to the beach for a brisk walk. I felt better than I had in a long time. The two biopsied sites were somewhat painful, but nothing to speak of, nothing a little Tylenaol couldn't cure. Boita did the wash, and then we worked in the kitchen on baked cauliflower and sauteed cabbage‚ this latter from Sonia. I had Boita throw into both the other veggies in the drawers that needed to be used.

After she left, Stan and Doris arrived for our lunch at the Fishery Grill. This was the 3rd time for Merwin and me, and I said that would be it for me. I had 3 strike outs. On the other hand, Merwin liked his choices, so I might try one of those if he insists on going again. Kiraku is far better in every way, ambiance, food, service,

I finished another Donna Leon novel. Easy reaidng. Lots of Venice.

No more chit chat; awaiting word about whether I start on the infusions within the 28-day window allowed. That is, they have to get me started within 28 days for what I and they signed to be in effect.

Much to think about.

Love to all,
Bernice

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I am provisionally in the trial

At the top, Raymond, taking one of his signature "mirror" photos. often of a whole group. The blue frame of the mirror and its decorations speak "Tunisia." Below is Michèle sporting a hat we got in Montauk when we were there together—with a view of the Tunisian resort and the ocean, as blue as Raymond's mirror.

Dear Friends and Family,

A quick update because I plan to get to bed, if not to sleep, early, so I can get up at 6:30 a.m. We received today the awaited email from Dr. M at Mt Sinai, telling us that I had been accepted to be screened for the trial. That's what we will be spending a good part of tomorrow doing: my signing the consent form before a witness, chest Xray, ultrasound, blood work no doubt, and finally, a bone marrow biopsy (BMB). The last one I had was probably a year ago, though time and events are shaky in my mind. Merwin and I both think that this process will be harder for the other: I feel bad about his hours of waiting; he feels bad about all I have to go through. The test results will determine whether I can go ahead, and that may be as early as next week.

Our best news is that our son Harvey's work on the workings of pre-eclampsia (to oversimplify a bit), published in a scientific journal a little over a week ago was picked up by many news outlets all over the world, and yesterday the NY Time's Science Times published a reporter's view of his work. It's "Turncoat of Placenta is Watched for Trouble,” p. D5.

This afternoon, Harvey spoke at length with Dr. M. who gave Harvey the keen feeling that he wanted to help us, that he cared about us. So Harvey is giving us his green light.

Also this week, on Tuesday, Boita. my new aide, came for the first time. She is about the age of my granddaughters, I guess, because her mother is in her 50s. But she is pleasant, warm and helpful. We went for a walk together in the neighborhood, but she would not mind driving me to the beach, or anywhere else I would like to go. I have given up driving, another narrowing of my life, but I have adjusted to it OK.

Today Merwin and I went out for lunch with Miriam and Eli to celebrate his birthday. I enjoyed our discussion, covering new and old issues that interest us. But after yesterday's workout, I was content mainly for the remainder of the day to read the Donna Leon mystery that Kathryn brought on Monday (thank you, Kathryn!), when the writing group met. It was a lively meeting, with supper at Kiraku and then readings by 6 of us. I didn't read and Joe and Anna were not able to come. I started to freewrite, which has always been for me the source of energy and ideas, but what I produced was so insipid that I gave it up. That's OK.

And I must not forget that on the weekend, Harvey, Sandy, and Rachael came by for a lunch at the new seafood restaurant in Glen Head. I think I have not made good choices so far from the extensive menu, and I am determined to make a better pick next time. Everyone but me seemed pleased with what they had. Afterward we returned to the house for ice cream and apple compote (Sonia's). Sandy and I took a walk around the neighborhood. With my rolator, I should feel fairly confident on my own, but the hills in the neighborhood make me think I need a watchful person with me. Sophie also came, with lots of good food for Merwin and me, and chatted with us all.

We also had a visit from Marty and Joan, from RSNS , who learned about my condition only because they saw the member-to-member request Merwin put out (that's how we found Boita). They brought gorgeous yellow tulips that all these days since then look beautifully fresh and lively. They are in a vase that Sophie gave me.

Shakespeare work? One entry added to our alphabib. Not much to shout about. But I am content with life as it has now shaped itself, though a bit nervous about this trial.

Love to all,
Bernice

Thursday at Mt. Sinai

At the top, Raymond, king of the hill, on our trip to France in 2003. Happy memories. Below, Arthur and me last weekend.

Dear Friends and Family,

We had an 8-hour day yesterday going to and from and being at Mt. Sinai. Dr. M. had warned us that his schedule was very full, so a wait was inevitable. I was hungry when we got there, so Merwin went searching for food for me: I was glad of that because sitting there for hours with hunger pangs would have been worse. Finally we got to see the P.A. and Tim, the person in charge of the study. He clarified many things for us: this is not the old study as Merwin and I had thought. This is a brand new study that observes how a drug that has already been proven to reduce fibrosis in other organs can reduce it in the bone marrow. Besides a measurement of my enormous spleen and an EKG, we mostly chatted. Again the Bundle appeared in my EKG, and this may preclude my participation. Dr. M. will confer with a Mt. Sinai cardiologist about it. Our cardiologist, a very laid back sort of guy, has said it is nothing, So we'll see. I would be the first person world-wide to try this drug, which is kind of exciting. Hopes are not up too far.

Sonia had her last day yesterday, and there were tears on both sides. I gave her two bibles that I am pretty sure I won't use anymore, one an exact reprint of a 1589 Bible with copious side notes and the other my favorite New Testament, with photos of the Holy Land. She and I did our usual things—she did the wash and tidied the kitchen. She showed me how she makes her cabbage stir-fry with sesame oil. I had that for lunch with noodles.

Our new aide will be starting on Tuesday. I liked her right away, and she got a glowing reference. So we'll see how that works.

My work has slowed down a lot. I am resting, cooking a bit, reading.

That brings me up to date. Love to all,
Bernice

Nws from Dr. M.

Sophie and Brendan's three girls are ready for Halloween—most dramatically fearsome, Gracie; and right there with her, Katie; and just a little somber, Sarah. How sweet these girls are and how much we love them. Cowgirl Sarah is pleased to show her drawing at the top.

Dear Friends and Family,

I am writing with the big news that I heard from Dr. M. this afternoon; his nurse practitioner in charge of a drug trial thinks I am a "fit," so we are going in to Mt. Sinai on Thursday for various tests. This trial is one that did not fit me some months ago, but some parameters have changed so that I can probably be part of it. Its effect, if it works, is to help the fibrotic condition of my bone marrow, which would slow down the progress of the cancer. It may not have any effect on my spleen, and there are lots of caveats attached, including what may be deleterious effects of the drug (just think of reading the insert that comes with the drugs your doc wants you to take—only worse). It entails visits to the hospital for infusions every two weeks—and lots and lots of tests, including some I have been avoiding, and some I have had before, like bone marrow biopsy. Dr. M. has done that before, so I am familiar with how he works it. Anyway, I am eager to try anything that can improve my situation.

In addition, it seems we will have no problem finding someone to take Sonia's place±—though in essence no one could take her place. One woman came today—and if her reference checks out, she will be good I think. I liked her right away. Others are coming on Wed.

Laury came over today for a little over an hour, and we worked on the Macbeth chapter. I was amazed that my mind seemed to work; she has drawn material mainly from my book and has been artfully condensing it. She also went for a walk with me.

That's all for today, I think. No use writing about meals because they were quite ordinary, cobbled together from what is on hand.

Love and Good wishes to all,
Bernice

A very warm October day

At the top, A visit this weekend from Arthur and Debbie. A very arduous trip from New Hampshire that they cannot manage very often: we were glad to spend Yom Kippur with them. In the middle, Dan Schierhorst at his High School reunion with his wife Gisele. He's an old running buddy: a group of us ran locally, or drove to other neighborhoods for memorable treks . Very enjoyable. Dan since has produced some wonderful photographs, one of which is on display in my study. Below is another photo of Sandy Schor with her father, me and Merwin. This clearly shows the green that Ellen Sykes thinks makes selling our apartment problematic; is is that bad?

Dear Friends and Family,

Well, the bottom fell out of my life with Sonia announcing on Thursday that she had, as she had intimated, a full-time job. She was planning to come to me one morning a week until I could get settled with someone else. Oh my! I have had an easy time with those who have come to help me, but Sonia and I have developed a close bond, and she knows just what to do.

Merwin put out a message to what is called the member-to-member site for RSNS, our synagogue, and so far two people have phoned who want to come for interviews. So I am hopeful it all will work out. But I cannot replace Sonia, our camaraderie and ease.

Thanks to Kathryn, I started reading and quickly finished a mystery by Donna Leon. Kathryn's writing about the writer is in my view superior to the novelist's writing, but I was alert to some of the observations Kathryn had made. The setting is Venice, the hero Commissioner Guido Brunetti, who, as Kathryn emphasized, is that rarity in the mystery genre, a family man, with a wife, son and daughter. Unfortunately, the county library system has only the 4th in this series for me, but Kathryn will loan me some of her volumes. Having something solid to read, not just the newspaper, is a good diversion for me.

The visit of Arthur and Debbie was easy and pleasant—easy because with the fast day there was no food to prepare until the end of the day on Saturday, and I made it very simple for myself by defrosting a few servings of meat loaf. Then there were the noodles Sonia had prepared, jarred tomato sauce, string beans flavored with finely chopped and sauteed onions, the Rabbi's wonderful Challah, which had been waiting for this day in the freezer. And to top it off we had the champagne that Anne had brought when she came to go for a walk with me.

Sunday morning I had the pleasure of making Challah French Toast for Merwin and Arthur. Debbie is a strictly coffee person for breakfast, and I had pancakes from the mix that Sylvia and I bought at Youngs' Farm and that Sonia had helped me prepare. I have a few more servings of that to enjoy.

Not much Shakespeare these last few days, of course, but I did have the naches [the joy one feels at the accomplishments of others, especially one's children] of reading a fine review by Dawn in the Shakespeare Bulletin. She is doing very well in spite of everything—including a job that is too hard.

Merwin and I had a brief Skype talk with Jesús and family. Now that we know how to do this, we will be able to chat more often. At 11 p.m. they are still up and working!

Love to all, with naches to spare,
Bernice

Again, lots of photos to share. At the top, Rabbi Lee visited, bringing a big round Challah for the holiday. I don't know why my knee is showing. Next comes Sandy and Harvey, celebrating her birthday. Then Ellen Sykes, who sold us our apartment, and finally a lovely family visit from Shara, Gideon and baby Sandy Schor. A very poignant, heart-catching name, again in our apartment.

Dear Friends and Family,

When I don't write for a while, it's not for lack of something to write about: it's time and energy and having to conserve both. I have been working a little on JR's bibliography, and writing the blog takes up time that could be spent on the work. But writing the blog is a memory chest for me, a way to recall what I have done and who I have seen.

My big news is that I have heard from Amy, Dr. M's, P.I., that there may be a trial for me to enter. I should know something by the end of the month, which will give me time to continue my recovery from the downturn of last month. If only the drug could reduce the size of my spleen I'd be grateful. I don't expect miracles. I have no details, don't know if it's a double-blind test, where I might get a placebo.

The work on Merwin's study continues: new sheet rock for the soaked portion of the wall, a new closet, a new bathroom cabinet. It will be weeks before it's done. In the meantime, Merwin's computer is now on the desk next to mine, and we are sitting side by side as we write or read the computer news.

Last weekend, we saw the Schor family, as noted in the photo above. Difficult as it is to travel anywhere with a baby, they made the effort to introduce Sandy to us. She is adorable, alert, and cautious—a sign of maturity. She's about 16 months old. It's a pang, certainly, to say and hear her name. Her grandmother Sandy should have been here to meet her 7th grandchild. But it's a joy that we can meet her.

In addition to the Schor family, we saw Ellen Sykes, the real estate agent who found this ideal apartment (for us). We discussed selling it with her. She cast her critical eye around to assess what we had done—and took baleful note of the light green walls: they would be off-putting to many who do not have the imagination to see that the problem could be solved easily. Rachael came over later in the afternoon, agreed that green is wrong, and offered to paint the walls herself, with her sister, perhaps.

For supper, we picked up some food from Pret a Manger and took it to the park to enjoy the sights. Rachael insisted on treating us. It's lovely that she (and her sister too) want to do that.

I should mention that on Saturday night, we tried a new restaurant within our walking circle. It was nominally Chinese but promised to be all things to all diners, including kosher. We were seated, somewhat reluctantly, at a small table: a big party was coming for which large round tables were set. A young woman seated near us at a table for four offered her table in exchange for ours: very sweet of her.

Eventually, right after we had placed our order, the large party came in—and came and came and came. Turned out there is an upstairs also, which swallowed up many. They were served communal style, ate for less than 10 minutes and then streamed out as quickly as they had entered. We surmised it must be a tourbus full, and we saw it across the street. It was smart of the tour people to take their clients to this restaurant situated on 39th street between 5th and Madison, an empty thoroughfare during the evening, far from crowded Chinatown. I spoke to a young man standing near our table, and he clearly did not know any English at all, except to say "No English."

It was pouring when we left, but Merwin had a big umbrella. We stopped at Pay-Less, on the corner of 5th and 39th, where I found a pair of slippers for Glen Head. And so it goes: It's pleasant to be on the City even when we do very little. Seeing people is enough.

Love to all,
Bernice