Monday, May 31, 2010

Memorial Day

The photo on the lower left is of our back yard a couple of years ago. You can see dimly the path of stones that leads to the edge of the property on the south side. The photo above that shows Rae-Rae standing in front of her excellent Charlie. Next to him is my excellent Merwin and in front of him is me as I looked before I had an enlarged spleen and started on prednisone. Oh my. Will I ever look anything like that again? Next to me is Rae-Rae's daughter, Debbie. I feel a special bond with this lovely young girl, who has had a wild side as I did at her age. Rae-Rae's son David is not in the photo. Both kids are doing great, top of their classes, really high achievers. The other scene is of our front curb and the plantings nearby.



As usual, click on a photo to enlarge it and then arrow left for return to blog.

Dear family and friends,

Rae-Rae, one of our "daughters," took the photos above a couple of years ago and sent them to us the other day We are expecting her and Charlie to visit us next month. That will be fun. It so very sweet when friendships persist through generations. This is not true for all our friendships, unfortunately.

Yesterday Florence stopped by and we took a little walk together. I really like these impromptu visits, especially when they are so easy to incorporate into my day: we walked for about 15 minutes around the neighborhood, which is gorgeously blooming. Florence moved from Sea Cliff to Glen Head a few years ago, and we both belong to RSNS.

Rather late, Merwin and I had the pleasure of watching a movie, right on my computer, that we have wanted to see. That is a fun thing, especially when, as in this case, it was one we had a hard time getting to with our "free" movie tickets.

Earlier, I had Skyped with Satyaki, who is catching on to the rather convoluted task I have for him. I was so pleased that Skype worked. Thanks, Dave! So now Satyaki and I have seen each other, he from Reno, me from Long Island. Satyaki will Skype me today for a longer session, and my plan is to walk him through the site, showing him all the goodies. After all, he will be a teacher one day, and then perhaps he will encourage his students to use the site—and even contribute to it. He'll be able to do his work better if he understands the whole site.

Sending love to all, especially those in pain for any reason,
Bernice

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Days go by

Dear family and friends,

The battle of our mahatanista, Lee, is over. She died yesterday surrounded by her family. Her daughter (our daughter-in-law) Sandy, and Sandy's sister Barbara, were holding her hands, and Murray, her husband of over 60 years, and their son Lawrence, were standing by, as was our son Harvey, and Barbara's significant other, Matt. Our hearts are with them. Lee timed it so that all could be together, managing to wait through Harvey's work-related trips to Israel and Norway, so he could be there at Sandy's side to support her through her grief—and her relief that her mother was free of pain at last and that her ever-faithful father could rest, too.

So life goes on. I participate in a special way in this milestone event as I think of my own demise, probably sooner rather than later (though I admit that I feel better now than I did a year ago when I was on terrible meds), and I hope for myself and my family that the slope can be steep at the end. It would be good if there were ways (well, there ARE ways, but they are illegal) to speed the inevitable. Lee asked for this relief many times. Yet her last days were not without joy. She asked even a few days ago to be wheeled outside on a recliner so she could enjoy the flowers she loved.

Lee and I had a special bond, and I will cherish that in memory. What an indomitable will she had!

On the brighter side, our dear almost-daughter Dawn visited with her significant other Brian yesterday. We ordered pizza to test out this source, Abeetza Pizza, which we have heard is good. It WAS good, loaded with fresh vegetables. But the crust, because of the leakiness of the veggies, was a little soggy. I must ask them which veggies would allow the crust to hold firm. Or what I could do at home to firm it up. I had the oven on high while Merwin and Brian went for the pizza, then turned it off when they arrived, and slipped the pizza onto a cookie tray to stay warm until we were ready (about 5 minutes). We also had one of Merwin's great salads and then ice cream and cookies for dessert. Nice and easy.

I needed a rest during the day and again during Dawn's visit. Merwin regaled her and Brian with stories of his fabulous transfers of 33 records to CD and then to his iPod. He transferred some CDs to Dawn, who was pleased to get them. She is hoping ot trim the number of her possessions, but I keep giving her—or loaning her—books I think she can use. I gave her some of Patti Tana's poetry because Dawn, having had a public reading this past spring, was asked by someone in the audience to join Patti on stage at the Tilles Center at C. W. Post this fall for a program he is organizing. It's always great to see one's children getting ahead, and I am proud of them all, including the ones who are ours because we adopted each other as family. Blood is strong, but love is even stronger. I always say that to our nephews, Merwin's sister's sons.

Below, I hope, is a photo of Dawn and Brian.

It's going to be another beautiful day today. Love to all,
Bernice




















Saturday, May 29, 2010

Keeping it simple





Dear family and friends,

A view of our NYC studio apartment taken by the management company to show as that all is back where it was. Well, it's not quite the chair arrangement we had at the table, and I don't see the placemats I keep on the table, but it looks reasonably habitable. Though we supplied the paint, which should have matched, it seems that the patch where the workers gained access to the building's water supply shows as a lighter color. Or as Merwin says, that could be a reflection of the camera flash. I don't see Merwin's computer. Outside the window you can see the scaffolding, which was supposed to be gone by the end of March. You can still see the greenery of Bryant Park, however. I can't wait to return, next week for sure and maybe before.

We had a lovely lunch with Harris and Evelyn. I enjoy making new friends, and these guys are winners. They go to the same water aerobics classes that Merwin attends, and the various men there stick together and tease each other. Harris and Evelyn have three girls, and 4 grandchildren, two boys and two girls, who live close enough to see each other frequently. Harris worked at CBS among other places as a film person and Evelyn was a high school English teacher. Like us, they enjoy theater. Because of them we renewed or membership in TDF, and we bought tickets for a play in which our friend Laury's daughter Elyssa will perform next Sunday in NYC. Elyssa just graduated from Harvard College. Hooray, Elyssa.

Somehow just sitting and talking knocked me out completely. We arrived a little after noon, and were home just before 4. I slept in the car and then went immediately to bed for a continuation of the nap. I did nothing to occasion that amount of fatigue, being served hand and foot. But I take advantage of every good moment I have, and thankfully, they are many.

I made an appointment with a physical therapist in Glen Cove who does not charge a co-pay. I will go as long as my medicare holds out. This is to strengthen my muscles that were weakened while I was recovering from the broken pelvis.

I just heard from her husband Sandy via email that our friend Phyllis B is back in the hospital with dangerously low blood pressure. We send her our love.

Satyaki, the grad student from Reno who is working on our website, tried to reach me on Skype yesterday, and I returned his call to no effect, but I hope we can connect this weekend. I have been working on the agenda for our summit meeting on Thursday and Friday and, via email, discussing Jesús's work for the site: he is creating a magnificent new edition, which I hope will be completed soon. I started looking into Q1 (the First Quarto of Hamlet), which we hope to have on the site soon.

If anyone wants to take a look, click on hamletworks.org, then click on the second item on the left, "Linked Enfolded Hamlet": scroll down, and click on Q2 and scroll down to read as much as you want; then close that and click on F1, and again scroll down to see what that looks like. Then close it and click on the middle text, Enfolded, which mixes the two, Q2 and F1, together, my invention, The Enfolded Hamlet.

Harvey and Sandy are in Cleveland with Sandy's mother, who is so ready to die. Arthur and Debbie are working on a tool shed for their house with the help of a technician. Lincoln is of course out of town. Dave is having a bar-b-cue, I expect, in his lovely back yard.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend, everyone. Ours will be quiet and peaceful.

Love,
Bernice

Friday, May 28, 2010

Relaxing day


This is our house, the before picture. It's a Sears Roebuck kit house, built in the 1920s. Here we have added a garage with bedroom above. This is before Dave planned our garden, and I hope to get a photo of a few of the great improvement that have been made since then.


Dear family and friends,

Thinking of ginger soup, we went with Rachael, who came for a brief visit, to Sherwood's, my favorite local restaurant—and found it locked and darkened. It's gone! You see what happens when I can't get out of the house? We had not been there since before March 16th, the day of my encounter with the sidewalk. I should have called! I should have gone sooner! So of course I had to start a version of ginger soup last night. It needs, I think, a scallion, some coriander, and possibly some other vegetables. We'll see.

The high point of the day was the visit from Rachael, our granddaughter. She will be 25 next month, recently returned from Oslo, and will be starting a new job next week or so: she is at present a freelance cinematographer. Merwin, Rachael and I went for a walk at the Sea Cliff beach, went out for lunch to a restaurant near the shore, and just hung out, talking about both serious and frivolous things. Rachael is easy to talk to. We also went to Dave's house in Glen Cove, which has come a long way since I last saw it. Now that I have my emancipation from the house, I always mean to use a cane, but somehow I got in the car without it. I was pleased to see that I was able to negotiate the steep steps and all without any difficulty. I restricted myself, though, to the house itself, and merely looked out the huge windows to the back yard, which as you can well imagine, if you know Dave's horticultural gifts, is lovely. A high point was the fan over the stove, which Dave designed and had fabricated. It beats anything I have ever seen before.

Another high point was the beautifully designed railings on the second-floor porch. From there, even with the trees in full leaf, you can see a bit of the sound; the house is a block from Morgan Beach.

I also saw Dave's dog, but I am going to keep my distance in spite of my general love for animals. I don't think it's a good idea to have a dog in an unfinished house. There is so much dirt and clutter around—and a dog can add to that or get hurt by that. But Dave is happy with her.

Rachael and Merwin had noticed another asparagus near our pond, so I broke it off, cooked this lightly in butter and gave most of it to Merwin for supper. After our big late lunch we didn't want much. I looked for our new fish butdidn't see any. They are hiding well, I hope.

Our three-year old goldfish having disappeared suddenly, Merwin had gotten new ones. We can only hope that whatever took the others will not get these smaller ones. There is plenty of vegetation for them to hide under, and the pond is surrounded by purple iris now, which might obscure the view of heron, raccoon, or whatever got the fish.

This morning we are going to Queens to visit our friends Harris and Evelyn, a delightful occasion to look forward to.

Love to all,
Bernice

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Welcome Guests!






One of my favorite photos, which I keep in my study. Barry Kraft in 2000, at Ashland Oregon's Shakespeare Festival where he was an actor, dramaturg, and director, watching the actors onstage while holding the Three-Text Hamlet, which I invented with Paul Bertram, and which I prepared for publication using Quark Xpress.



Dear Family and Friends,

Lovely hot day yesterday but we were comfortable inside with our Mitsubishi air conditioners, installed last fall. They are so nice and quiet.

The big event of the day was a brunch for Barry, his bride Jessica, her father Jack, and Phe, my friend of over 50 years. I wrote about Barry and Jessica yesterday and included a link to their photos from the Galapagos. A good time was had by all, certainly by me! It's thrilling to me that these friends, old and relatively new, could come for brunch. After about 10 days in DC, partly to celebrate Jessica's brother's wedding, they will return to Jack's home, and we can hope to see them again.

After asking Jessica if the only other meal they have had here—a year ago or so—was brunch, and getting the negative answer, I told her I was then free to bring out the old chestnut for this brunch: baked eggs and cheese, the dish Merwin's mother's family brought with them when they came to the USA from England in 1903.

Nephew Mike has been making baked eggs regularly for his family since visiting here last summer:Congratulations Mike! on the new grandchild, Connor, making it three girls (Jeremy's children) and two boys (April's children). Go, Mike! Congratulations, Dinah!

At the brunch there were also by popular demand, mini-bagels, lox, cream cheese; spinach Pie, courtesy Sophie (this gets better and better, Sophie), and a new dish, a spin-off on a Bittman recipe. His called for day-old cooked Jasmine rice: I used coos-coos. His called for finely sliced garlic sauteed till they were crisp and brown and the same treatment for peeled, finely sliced fresh ginger. These were to be passed around as an optional extra: I folded them right into the coos-coos. Similarly, he called for sesame oil and light soy sauce to be passed around; I mixed in a very small amount of each. What I skipped altogether were the eggs Bittman used: we already had enough eggs.

Jessica suggested a ginger soup to match that at Sherwood's perhaps. I am going to try it soon. Process ginger and about 3x the amount of carrots, add water, and cook till vegetables are the consistency you want. Is this right, Jessica? I think we should go to Sherwood's today and check out their version—and then go on from there. I think I just want to get out for lunch with Rachael today.

One strange thing: at the Galapagos, people throw postcards into a barrel in a store and visitors from around the world shuffle through to find anyone from their home town and post the card when they get home. Or hand deliver the card if it's really close by. We got not a postcard but Barry's very short letter celebrating Shakespeare's birthday (23 April) on a scrap of paper. Someone had picked it out of the barrel and was kind enough to send it to us in an envelope. I think this came from the Mid-West, St. Louis perhaps. Unfortunately, I didn't save the envelope, but I have Barry's Galapagos letter along with a pile of other things from him: Barry has good ideas that I have incorporated into hamletworks.org, and he has also corrected errors in the Three-Text book. It's an amazing thing, the friendships that result from Shakespeare.

After a long nap, I had lots of backs and forths with the hamletworks.org team, arriving next Thursday. Final details still to be worked out: how to use the air train to get to Jamaica and hence to Glen Head or wherever is easier; who gets which of the guest beds; and, for me, planning an agenda—and the meals!

Now it's time for my walk in the neighborhood or my bicycle. Looking forward to a cooler, pleasant day with Rachael visiting.

Love to all,
Bernice

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Good news all around

Dear family and friends,

The best news this morning comes from Naomi, who heard it on the news: Lori Berenson has been paroled, at last. Many of us think her trial was a farce, her crime non-existent or at least a far-fetched exaggeration. See the New York Times this morning (search Lori Berenson). She has been in prison since 1995, serving a 20-year sentence, and has to remain in Peru while on parole.

The other good news is more personal: We went to Dr. K yesterday and got very good news. My platelets are well up over 100 and my white blood cells are low, well below 100. Merwin, who is our record keeper, has not given me the chart yet, but when he does I'll add the specifics—or not. The point is that I am doing well, the prednisone taper is going well without the extreme fatigue or the pneumonia that accompanied the last effort to taper. So I am to continue at this slow, slow 2.5 mg a week taper, leaving me 6 weeks to go to zero. Dr.K also thinks my spleen is smaller, though only an ultrasound can measure it in toto. The red blotches on my arms are also fading.

It took 3 hours at the doctor's. because she had so many problems to solve, so it was very late for lunch: as a solution, Merwin finally redeemed a part of the gift certificate he got from Bobbie and picked up a sandwich at Ben's—which he enjoyed very much. This meant a very light supper for him. Thank you Bobbie!

Other good news: Barry and Jessica phoned from Jack's house, practically around the corner from us in Mill Neck. They have just returned from world-wide travel, including Venice and the Galapagos. Jessica sent wonderful photos, but I don't know how to download them. Merwin can probably do it. The three are coming today for brunch, and I am thrilled that we will be seeing them with Phe, who was coming for lunch but graciously agreed to come for brunch instead.

Here is the URL for their Galapagos photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/47434224@N07/sets/72157623965461782/show/. I just tried it and it did work. I hope you don't mind, Jessica?

Once we had settled on brunch, we went to North Shore Farms again to pick up just a very few things that I wanted. There's going to be a lot of food!

We heard from various children. Sandy's mother is still hanging on. She indicated she wanted to see the flowers outside and was wheeled out in a recliner. She is confounding all predictions. I am glad (here from a distance) for her tenacity: she wants to live! and don't we all?

Obviously, I did a certain number of work-related things, but enough with that for now. Off to prepare for the brunch!

Love,
Bernice

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Skipping a day

















John Mosedale, friend, about 5 years ago


Dear family and friends,

I didn't write yesterday because the previous day I had encroached on yesterday's territory, starting it after 2 p.m., and the problem with skipping is that I cannot quite remember what I had thought about or done the day before yesterday that might be worth my while (and yours) to write about.

Work for the website hamletworks.org with Satyric, the grad student at Reno, is going well, except he is now teaching a class and of course has to give his major attention to his students. He seems very committed. We can talk on the phone, which we did the other evening, and both see the website. I can in this way show him what to do. The whole process is simple in a way, but with many steps to consider, and much thinking to do while working. When he can devote more time to hamletworks.org, much will get done. One section of the site needs a lot of work and may have to be re-done, at least in part—and this will be his work for the summer and perhaps beyond.

Talking to Satyaki, showing him the ropes at long distance, is something like teaching, but not quite. It's more like helping a colleague understand a lab process. But when my dear Dawn called with questions and thoughts about her 3-week summer classes, I really got into it, remembering what I used to do when I taught classes that lasted only three weeks. When we hung up, what I felt most like doing was to look at my old lesson plans and see what I might do with them. But I quickly realized I had other things I had to do! Like prepare an agenda for the summit meeting of the hamletworks.org editors and Pete from MIT.

I finished the obit piece on John Mosedale (see photo above), but I am going to let it sit for a few more days. His wife, Betty, has mailed me a packet, and perhaps material will be there I can use. I heard from the editors of the Shakespeare Newsletter that they would be delighted to get the obit. So I will have two items in the next issue.

Since I couldn't get into the City to interview Arin Arbus, the director, I proposed to the editors that I write a separate review not only about her work with Measure for Measure but also the other plays she has directed. This will be for a future issue.

Also, Laury's decision to go for a book rather than a section of a journal has given those of us included a clear direction. I have started looking at what I ahd done for the Shakespeare conference and see I have much to do before it is good enough to be a chapter in a book. Isn't it wonderful to be busy and active!

It's funny how things work out. Right now, work is being done by the building maintenance crew where we have our pied-à-terre, so we are not really missing days in the City. It would be impossible to use our apartment with plastic drapes over the open outside wall. Lucky, right? They could have done this job WHEN I was able to be there, and then I would have missed out.

Also, just as I become able to get into the City again, I will have an appointment with Mount Sinai. I am happy that they didn't call me to come sooner to take the preliminary tests for the drug trial. I don't have to go until June 10th, and by then I really should be in good shape. They don't even have to know I had a break in the pubis ramus—though I probably will tell them.

My ability to walk now, my orthopedist agrees, shows that the bone has healed. Merwin and I went to see him yesterday, and he was confused. Merwin and I had both gone to him about problems, me for my hip, which he diagnosed as a back problem, for which he told me to go to a physical therapist. This was about 2 weeks before the fall and broken bone. It was on the way into the therapist's office for my 3rd visit that the sidewalk in front of her office tripped me up, sending me crashing to the ground, breaking my bone, as the CT scan in the ER showed.

After the first phone call from him after the ER communicated the CT scan to him (it's all done elctronically). and he verified the ER doctor's diagnosis, I never heard from him again. It was my hematologist who arranged for the Visiting Nurse physical therapist and for the blood draw.

So when he came into the examining room yesterday, holding notes about the hip/back problem but utterly confused about the fall and the break, I said something like "You let me fall between the cracks—just as I fell because of the cracks!" I said this with a smile, teasingly. Anyway he called up the CT scan (isn't modern technology wonderful!), and we looked at it together. He showed me, as he rotated the image, the very clean break, fortunately with no torque: the pieces had stayed in place, putting me in a good position for healing. He suggested an x-ray now to verify the healing, but I demurred: hadn't I had enough x-rays? Isn't the fact that I can walk with a cane and even without it at times proof that it has healed? He agreed, and at the end gave me a prescription for physical therapy to strengthen my legs, which are very weak, and said, "I am sorry I let you fall through the cracks," using my very words in an apology. Apologies are a rare thing for a doctor, I think. he is a sweet young man.

The hour of waiting in the office gave me an opportunity to work on the agenda for our team's summit meeting; preparation is important because we have many things to settle.

On the way home, Merwin stopped at the Honda place to pick up his car, and I went on to North Shore Farms to pick up a few things. We seem to need to shop constantly. I suppose it's because we are rarely eating out now. I had intended to go to the cleaners and to CVS, but I opted for the supermarket instead. I used the bags I keep in the car, and kept each one very light. It helps to have a handicapped permit for parking. Mrwin was rather shocked that I did all that by myself. When I got home, we had a nice supper of halibut and red leaf lettuce salad.

I ended the evening with a martini glassful of the rabbi's cosmopolitans. Still good! a little more tangy than sweet, which I like, and Merwin and I watched a rather weird movie about a boy robot who wants love.

Don't we all!

Love,
Bernice

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Many interruptions

Dear family and friends,

I am just getting to the blog just before 2 p.m., very late for me. Betty sent me this morning important information I need to write something for the Shakespeare Newsletter about her husband, John, with whom I shared an intense interest in Hamlet. Turning to John was the first thing on my mind this morning.

Our son Harvey phoned, on his way to have lunch with two former students, to see one of them graduate from Yale, and to hear Bill Clinton give an address. We'll get the scoop from him later, if not on the NYT online.

Merwin and I have returned from a trip to the Super Market: there always seems to be more to buy! Before that we went to the beach, where he had his usual vigorous walk and I trailed behind with my cane. I walked yesterday a bit too much, and that knocked me out. I went all around our neighborhood, enjoying the flowers, a few dogs (I always LOVE seeing dogs), the houses and the very few people who happen to be out. Among the latter were our very across-the-street nice neighbors, Lorraine and her two daughters, Amanda and Kaeli, gorgeous little girls. Lorraine and her husband Scott bought the house from Brendan who married our friend Sophie and moved elsewhere.

Yesterday, Sophie popped over with her great Spinach Pie. She also brought a hummingbird feeder, in response to the hummingbird photo I had put on my blog, I think, and we can hope to hold a few hummingbirds on our hands some day!

Toby and Elliott came over in the afternoon. Funny thing. I had agreed that I would phone them after nap time to tell them when to come. But in my faulty memory, I remembered only that they were coming at 4 o'clock, so as to arrive after our nap time. At 4:30 we finally phoned and got the truth, and they popped over. [Soon there will be no such popping, except in NYC because having retired from their Long Island faculty positions, they will soon sell their Roslyn apartment.]

Just a few days after my broken pelvis, Elliott celebrated his retirement at a local restaurant. I had missed the event, so yesterday Toby read their son Eric's introduction and roasting (very gentle) and Elliott set up his computer to give a Power Point presentation of his talk to me (and Merwin, who had already seen and heard it of course). It was great, full of the enthusiasm of a dedicated teacher. I asked him how was he doing this, giving up teaching, and he said that his college gave him an offer he could not refuse. I don't know much math, I'm afraid, not any more, though I used to be quite good at it. The difference between me and Merwin was that I was willing to memorize and considerd that "learning" the material. He had to understand and hated memorization.

We went to a local restaurant, Ernesto's, about 1/4 mile from our house, and had a lovey meal: Toby and I both had eggplant parmesan, and each took away enough for lunch today. Toby had also made Bittman asparagus pesto and brought a full container of it for me. She and I agree that it is not as good as basil pesto. I froze her pesto and will use it when the hamletworks.team arrives, but I will add basil as well.

The evening ended fairly early, with reading what had already arrived of the Sunday paper.

And so to bed, now for a nap.

Love to all,
Bernice

Saturday, May 22, 2010

All chicks in the nest

Annetine (Harvey's host in Norway), Rachael (his older twin daughter) and Fiona (scientist from Glasgow, Scotland. Norway was festive), full of celebrations for Constitution Day. It must have been cold there!

Dear family and friends,

Harvey phoned on his ride home from the airport to Connecticut and filled us in on his doings in Oslo, where he was very busy with a collaboration he is involved in. A paper is in process, and Merwin and I expect to be proof-readers, commentators. We are very proud of his important work.

Arthur called too, and though we said we would return the call in the evening, since we were busy when he called, somehow we never got to it. We'll call today. His month could be exciting—or not.

Lincoln won a prize in a costume contest, and Dave was helpful in his usual ways. We didn't talk to Rachael, but Merwin tracked her travel and learned when she landed. So all the chicks are now accounted for. We hope to talk to all the grandchildren too, this weekend. Ha! both of us actually have an aversion to phone calls, so though the talking itself is wonderful it is hard to get ourselves to make the calls.

The graduate student from Reno who is helping hamletworks.org phoned me yesterday evening. I am sure he will a hardworking asset to the project. For the moment, though, as a graduate student in an American university he is teaching a course for the first time in his experience, and of course the preparation and the classroom work, plus papers, will keep him very busy. So he plans to work for hamletworks.org only a couple of hours a day until the course is over. Whatever he does will be very helpful.

I am feeling pretty perky in spite of or because of the prednisone taper. The red spots on my arms are fading. I have to rest now and then, but I am not laid low for hours as I had been a few months ago. So I can look forward to taking long walks, riding my stationary bike, and even getting back to the JCC before too long, probably after I check in with the orthopedist on Monday. The pain is there, but I try to ignore it.

Eric sent a long review of an edition of Middleton that he wrote for the Shakespeare Quarterly with a colleague and friend, in the shape of a dialogue. Brilliant. Controversial. What annoys me about the editor of the edition, Gary Taylor, is that he claims for Middleton what is usually ascribed to Shakespeare—including Macbeth and Measure for Measure. True, there are probably some stanzas in each that could be Middleton's: Shakespeare often collaborated with others. But the plays as a whole, as most scholars think, are Shakespeare's. Taylor likes Middleton's politics better than Shakespeare's—the reason, he has stated, that he wanted to edit Middleton and claim for him what most ascribe to Shakespeare. Hey, if Middleton cannot stand on his own, without stealing from Shakespeare, Taylor undercuts his own argument for the value of all the plays that Middleton did write. Taylor's stance vis-a-vis Shakespeare seems to me similar to that of the groups that want the plays to be by someone other than Shakespeare: Bacon, the Earl of Oxford, whoever.

Ah, interesting arguments nonetheless: sharpens one's thinking.

Time for the long morning walk,
Until tomorrow,
Love,
Bernice

Friday, May 21, 2010

New Glasses

Dear Family and friends,

It's already afternoon: we have had a busy morning, and it all goes to show how much better I feel today than I did yesterday when I spent a good part of the day reading, resting. I got up too late to walk to the dentist's office, so I drove and had my teeth cleaned (they are in good shape, and Yvonne always says that she can tell the state of my (or anyone's health) by cleaning their teeth. After that I had the third and last of the current set of teeth patched up. I grind my teeth at night, but am unaware of it, and it breaks my teeth. No cavities, just pieces missing. I also went to the cleaners to drop off two culottes and to pick up one: After discovering that the backs of my culottes had black stripes that I could not get out in the wash no matter what tricks I used, we searched all over to find the cause:the pillow I use in the car? No. My lovely recliner? No. It turned out to be my stationary bike, so it now has a towel over the seat. The seat cover must be disintegrating after all these years.

When I got home from the first set of errands, Merwin (who had had a very successful shop at Waldbaum's) met me and we went to the Toyota service place on 25A. I drove my car to leave it there. He followed me. The weird thing is (1) I was due for service in mid-March, but of course never got to go because of the broken pelvis. You'd think that a service person would have phoned or written to see what was up. And (2) their record said that Toyota had done the fix on my car someplace (it turned out) in New Jersey in February. Of course this was an error. So I get the fix today: the gas pedal gets shortened, the mat changed, and a couple of other things.

After that, we went to pick up my new computer-reading glasses. I have been making do with drugstore magnifying glasses. But the prednisone has done a job on my cataracts, and my vision is much worse than it was before.

Yesterday was pretty busy also: Our wonderful Rabbi Lee had made a date with us to bring lunch for the three of us, and did he ever! He made a vegetarian cold soup, served with fantastic bread. Then from Diane's a quiche, which he heated in our oven, and it was about the best I have ever had. We ate that with a salad he had made, beautiful square slices of red and yellow peppers, glistened with olive oil and sprinkled with chives from his garden. He also made a superb salad dressing. We ended with a berry tart from Diane's.

We had lovely conversations, and among other things Lee urged me to phone someone from our congregation who is a hematologist, retired from Mount Sinai hospital, where I am going for the workup in hopes of making it into the trial. Why not call? Why call?

What did me in was the great pomegranate cosmopolitans the rabbi made. I had had these at our cooperative dinner (about 9 p.m.) and enjoyed them thoroughly, without ill effect. After the dinner, I had asked everyone for recipes. His contribution had been this cocktail for the pre-dinner conversation and wine for the dinner itself. He brought the recipe with him yesterday:

This is supposed to make 6 drinks. Wow, that's strong:
Combine in a pitcher 2 C vodka, 1 C Cointreau liqueur, 1 C cranberry juice, 1/2 C pure pomegranate juice.

Fill a cocktail shaker half full with ice. Pour the cocktail mixture in, and shake for a full 30 seconds. Pour into martini glasses. Garnish with a slice of lime, if you have it on hand.

Yesterday, he poured three small servings, but one was for Merwin, who does not drink. So I drank mine, then his. Fortunately, this excess did not hit me until Lee was just leaving, this time taking the books he had selected at his last visit, plus one more. I went right to bed and stayed there, resting and reading. I finished John Mosedale's book, The Church of Shakespeare, and I hope to write a review of it for ShNL. I just sent ShNL the photos to go with the review of the TFANA Measure for Measure. For supper we had a repeat of lunch, something Merwin is usually loathe to do. Today I will have most of the remainder for my lunch: I can eat the same food time after time, especially when it is this delicious.

Yesterday I also had email conversations with the student at Reno by way of India who will work with me on hamletworks.org. My brilliant son Dave set me up with Skype, which is the means the student and I will use to communicate—that and email. The camera will allow me to show him what I mean. Merwin and I are hoping we can call Jesús too using Skype. We use iChat for our Mac friends.

Now off to lunch!
Love,
Bernice

Thursday, May 20, 2010

A beautiful day

Dear Friends and family,

This photo comes from my dear nephew Paul. A woman who lives under the hummingbird fly-by area put a small dish with sugar water (shown here in her palm) and the birds came! Dawn gave us a Hummingbird feeder, but I can't find it, and I don't think we are exactly in a hummingbird fly zone. Wish we were. Dave, who knows all bird songs (he sells recordings of "There's food here calls" that entice birds to come) tells me he hears orioles in our trees, but we are not offering them what they like to eat, so they do not come into view.

I started the day today with a long walk up and down hills in the neighborhood. When I walk by the lovely development of condos, tucked in a woods, I begin to think of how good it would have been to buy a few when they were first offered for sale: they were very inexpensive, about $60,000 I believe, which even at that time was a very good figure. Our two unmarried sons could have been living in two of these. So I have to take myself in hand and say "Don't should on yourself."

Yesterday was a good day in several ways. I drove the car to a destination, the nail shop in Glen head, less than a half mile away. This is only the second time I have driven, and this time I had to park and walk a short distance to my destination. I gain confidence as I see I can do it. It was a pleasure to get all 20 nails done.

Antoinette asked me how I made the Lima Bean casserole I served a few evenings ago when Gert and Sylvia were here. Its leftovers returned for supper last night. So simple: I used a mix of baby and Fordhook beans. I sauteed red pepper strips and onions till very soft. Added the beans and a little water and baked along with the other dishes I was making that night. Doesn't take long. For the leftovers I poured the beans into a very lightly oiled frying pan, added egg-beaters and chunks of nice cheddar cheese, covered the pan and simmered till the cheese was melted, then added a little crushed tomatoes from a can that was almost empty and heated it through. Creative use of what's around! Delicious. Maybe I'll have the leftovers of that for my breakfast. Antoinette has been traveling, and when we get together I hope to hear more about it and her interesting family.

Merwin and I had errands to do: For one thing, we went to Rising Tide in Glen Cove. This is an organic store that we have supported since its inception—we lent them money because they offered a very good deal and we were so pleased to have the first organic, vegetarian grocery. We gave the money up front, spent it down, and got an extra amount tacked (10% if I recall correctly) onto the principle. Yesterday we got some delicious spinach pie there, Sophie! This was the best store bought we have had. It had tofu (undetectable) and artichokes as well as a delicious spinach filling in a good crust. I heated it briefly in the micro.

Last night we dropped off the machine that Miriam and Eli had loaned Merwin. It converts 33 records into CDs and Merwin then transfered the contents onto his iPod. Wow what a lot of old friends on these recordings, including Caedmon records of poets reading their own work—Yeats, T.s. Eliot, and also Façade read by Edith Sitwell. Merwin gave M and E CDs of some folk songs he thought they would like. They have a great condo, with lots of room, decorated beautifully with the art they have collected over the years and the great objects Eli makes in his workshop (like a floor to ceiling giraffe). An impromptu visit with friends we have known for so long is a real treat.

One interesting event was a request from the Folger librarian Georgianna for me to answer some questions for some students (high school I infer from the questions she listed). I was reluctant at first because the questions seemed too picayune, things they should ferret out for themselves, but she urged me to try to help them. I was so busy all day on Tues. when her second request arrived that I didn't get to respond until late that night, saying I would be glad to help them. And late last night when we returned from M &E's home, there was a communication with better questions from the leader of the team who are studying Romeo and Juliet. I spent about an hour—not answering their questions exactly, but posing questions of my own that I hope will get them where they want to be. I also sent them a paper I had published about the play that did not include any of the films they needed to discuss. It gives them a model, I hope. Part of their assignment, it seems, was to seek expert (ah hum!) advice. I do miss teaching, but not so much that I would want to go back to it on a steady basis.

It's a bright and sunny day, and the plants are popping: dahlia shoots are springing up all over the Mother's Day Garden, a little patch near the road. Merwin has also planted more lavender there. Phe pansies are flourishing.

Looking forward to the preparation for our hamletworks.org summit meeting in two weeks!

Love to all,
Bernice

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Busy Monday




This is a photo of our ME group (Marriage Encounter) in 2001. Starting at the left on the edge of the pool: Eli, Bob, me, Eddie and then continuing around the circle starting at the right in the water: Eddie, Al, Joan, Sandy, Merwin, Iza, Emma, Marcia—all of us looking young and fit. One couple is missing, Harriet and Gus, which makes me think this photo was taken in Florida, where we met once a year for a weekend together. Now we rarely hear from any of these old acquaintances with whom we shared so much of our lives. Click to enlarge phot; use backspace to return to blog.


Dear family and friends,

I decided to walk for 45 minutes instead of biking: walking puts more weight on my pelvis, and according to the P.T., weight bearing exercise helps to produce bone. The ground was a little wet, but it was fun walking around this pretty neighborhood. There are iris now in all shades. I have spoken before about the changes—the end of one set of flowers and the beginning of others. Also, where the azaleas are fading, new fresh leaves are forming, so there is always something to please the eye, to take the place of the previous beloved object of joy.

Yesterday was a busy day, almost all of it social. We had a lovely lunch at the Jolly Fisherman with Enid and David. David and I are both using canes. Merwin, always a light eater, could not finish his main dish or dessert, so offered each to me. In spite of the fact that I am trying to lose the prednisone pounds as I taper slowly, I accepted his offer and ate all of mine + half of his meal. Plus, I did not keep my hands out of that great bread basket, though I had intended to.

We rushed home to get a nap before leaving again for the "free" Tuesday movie. At Harris's suggestion, we saw "City Island," which we liked very much. It is one of these movies that purports to be realistic but actually is full of holes that one puts aside during the viewing but that leap out when one thinks it over. The acting saves all.

We have made many trips to City Island (in the Bronx) with Bobbie and Norman, Rosie and Irwin, because it has seemed a good middle ground for the 6 of us. But we have only entered on the main road and never saw the delightful community shown in the film (if it was filmed there). This summer for our birthday lunch (we three women all have birthdays in July) we will meet on Long Island. I would love to have everyone here. We'll see.

In between, I heard from Georgie, the head librarian at the Folger, who wanted me to answer some questions posed by high school students. The Folger has a wonderful program for children of all ages. I have often seen the kids, dressed up in glorious costumes, lined up to put on their selected scenes on the tiny Globe-like stage at the Folger, and some of the acting is pretty good. Because of our busy day, I didn't get to write to the students till late and no one has responded yet. Maybe they found someone else to ask? They wanted to know what a Shakespearean might think about a couple of Romeo and Juliet films.

In the evening we were engaged by election results. I hope the pundits are wrong about much of their interpretation. I cannot be sad about the end of Arlen Specter's career (for the time-being anyway). I supported him. though he was a Republican, until the confirmation of Clarence Thomas as Supreme Court Justice. Specter also voted for many things that appalled me. He is a middle-of-the-road to right-leaning Republican, hardly a Democrat.

Busy day coming up today: lots of errands to do. Sorry about the intrusive element that decided to make a home in my blog. If you see "Answer me" and know how I can get rid of it, I would be happy to know.

More tomorrow,
Bernice

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Excellent Monday


The Rasmussen Family
Eric is one of four editors working on the New Variorum Hamlet and hamletworks.org. Merwin and I have visited the Rasmussens in Reno, Nevada, Orinda, California, and
London, England. This is their 2009 photo, with Tristan, Vicky, Arden and Eric.

Dear family and friends,

Very good news today: I have a PhD student from Reno who is going to work on pages in Hamletworks.org that need repair. It will be a challenge working at long distance, but I hope it works out. So with Becky working for me here, and this young man working for me from there, I should be able to accomplish a lot this summer (and I hope into the fall).

We heard from Harvey and got a whole bunch of photos from Oslo. I will see if I can grab a few to post here tomorrow. All is well; Harvey is working with his collaborators, but there is also time for fun, and certainly Rachael has lots of opportunities for R&R.

I didn't leave the house yesterday. That's a shame because I am supposed to at least walk around the block a few times, and it was a nice day too. I did at least ride the stationery bike for 45 minutes. Mostly, though, I was caught up in the work. For fun I am posting a dog's version of "To be or not to be" on the website. I tried but failed to get it to post, and turned it over to our redoubtable web master. An email exchange with the author of the soliloquy led to a necessary change in The Enfolded text at the top of the pages for 3067: Thus {didst} thou. I would not have noticed this if Larry had not called my attention to an emendation he remembered, a change to "diest," which only makes sense as deriving from the F1 version. Forgive the technicalities! But I think it is quite wonderful how so many things feeds into the work.

Merwin read my Measure for Measure review, and found about 10 typos. My eye just skipped over them. Laury spoke to Harry and then phoned me: he is definitely interested in her book, for which I will write one essay, already drafted in part. But that will be after we finish our edition.

The name of the flowering shrub in front of the windows popped into my mind suddenly for no reason at all after many days of looking at it and not being able to come up with the name: Mountain Laurel, a lovely plant indeed. There is no doubt that my memory is becoming a problem, especially at the word level. So I am more than eager to complete my scholarly work as much as possible, as soon as possible, before it goes altogether and I drift into present-ism.

We got a letter from Barry and Jessica who were in the Galapagos, one of many stops on their world-wide tour since their marriage. They will be on Long Island next week, and I hope to see them. Barry (an actor, dramaturg, and director, mainly at Ashland, OR) and I talk Hamlet. The lucky thing is that the lovely Jessica's father, Jack, lives a couple of miles from us: otherwise, who knows when we would meet! Barry and I became friends after he discovered my Three-Text Hamlet, and he fell in love with it. We have been talking Hamlet ever since.

Off to the bike now! Love to all,
Bernice

Monday, May 17, 2010

Slow Sunday

Dear family and friends,

Nothing special on the menu today. We had a brief visit from Laury and her son David yesterday, which gave me a chance to walk out into the garden and see all that is happening there. Unfortunately, one bad thing has been the death of our fish, which had survived two winters by burrowing in the mud at the bottom of the pond. Then one day, all gone. Did our neighbor spray poison on his plants? Did a heron swoop down and gobble them up? Or did a raccoon go fishing? Can't tell.

Otherwise, the day was spent either at the computer or with the Sunday paper or, in the morning while on the stationery bicycle and in the evening, watching television. The morning TV treat (in between MSNBC) included some minutes of Jeannette MacDonald and Nelson Eddy in a Southern costume flick, with a full roster of slaves (African Americans) and indentured servants (white folks). I remember some of those 1940s songs and can sing along, and they can bring tears to my eyes, but it is appalling to see the racist depiction of the sorrowful slaves, finding comfort in religion and, in this movie, in a tree that could take away their suffering. What did it do to our young heads to see this kind of nonsense. Plenty of it left today, though it takes different forms. In the evening we started with a 4-star Preston Sturgess film with Eddy Bracken, but after enjoying the stable of actors so familiar in many films of that time (1944), we could not tolerate the plot, so repetitious, so limited. We turned to a mystery from the BBC, and once we accept the fact that certain characters' accents will be impenetrable, we settle in to enjoy this show, made recently but showing Britain in 1945. It seemed more realistically convoluted than the one-note Sturgess film, but in retrospect, it is just as silly—though with a respectable British gloss—as the USA film made in wartime. Nowadays the makers have to have more than one plot-line, a la the TV show ER (Emergency Room), I think, but the relation among the plot lines is either empty or unbelievable. And so to bed to read more of the NYT: also disappointing. This could be me.

Another sunny day today. Hoping to get some work done to prepare for more work by my Columbia helper—and I hope to send off the Measure for Measure review. Good news from Harry: he may get a new publisher for Fairleigh Dickinson Press. Laury may collect her Shakespeare Association essays in a book after all. Go, Laury!

Talk to you all later,
Love,
Bernice

Sunday, May 16, 2010


Josh and Lori's three girls in 2009
Rafaella 14; Noemi 19; Shayna 17,
and below in 1998. Josh's mother, Sandy, was a dear friend, and our friendship extends to her children and grandchildren. It would be great to attend the weddings of these three beautiful women.


Dear Family and Friends,

I started my blog this morning and inadvertently erased it. The lost text is probably lurking in my computer somewhere, but let it go! I can't write twice, because basically I write for myself—glad to have family and friends reading my posts of course.

So I will continue where I left off rather than start all over.

I know I am making very good progress, because I can do so many things I could not do before. I think back to the days I needed help to lift my leg (and Betty's gift of a leg-lifter came in so handy!), when I could not pull on my socks, when I could not get into my bed —and on and on. Now I can drive. I can walk with a cane, and, in close quarters, like my kitchen where counters are always handy, I can leave my cane leaning on the side. But, and this is the big But, I still feel a long way from normality. I can't imagine going into the City by train and walking up and down all the stairs, and walking to our apartment, just 6 blocks from Penn station. Can't imagine walking down the long, shiny corridors of the NYPL, can't imagine making my way to MoMA, just 13 blocks away. etc. etc. etc. I know I cannot lift anything even a little heavy: lifting makes my pelvis ache. I want to know how long this good but not great stage of my recovery will last. I do know I get better every day. I rode my stationary bicycle for 45 minutes today. But it seems so slow when I think back to March 15th the day before it happened, or even that morning when I was in my SPIN class—almost two months already. OK, it's not my nature to repine. I will soldier on.

We are hoping to hear from Harvey, our son, and Rachael, his daughter, who are in Oslo, he on medical business, she as a tag-a-long who needed a break from her strenuous filming schedule. Today, with nothing on the schedule, thank goodness, we will be phoning family and friends, catching up. Especially I want to thank Sophie and Brendan for their lovely party for Gracie First Communion. We do love this family. People ask "How do you know Sophie," and I say "Ever since the day she knocked on our door"; she stayed with us briefly while attending graduate school at C. W. Post, an arrangement made by a friend of ours who had recruited her as his first grad student in aesthetics and who asked us to let her stay with us until she got settled. Now she is a grad student again, but this time for a PhD in English. How can I help but be happy when I have such wonderful people in my life!

I heard today from some long-time friends who have been reading my blog. That makes me so happy. I enjoy hearing from all of you, friends and family.

Love,
Bernice

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Columbia U Shakespeare Seminar

Dear family and friends,

After a rushed morning because I slept so late, I prepared a sort of résumé for Pete at MIT. Our website will be moving there very soon: our brilliant Jeffery is working with their brilliant Belinda to get, as Eric, would say, "all our ducks in a row.” Pete wanted to have a listing of the work we four hamletworks.org editors had published or that had been accepted, and talks we had given, since 2007. For those still teaching, he wanted to know how we have used our site in our assignments. Nick responded to that very well, but I haven't been teaching, of course. Only three years, but my list filled 2 pages (12 pt. Times font)!

After that it was a rush to get into the City for the Columbia U Shakespeare Seminar Board meeting at 4 p.m. Usually the trip takes an hour in mid-day but yesterday it took over 75 minutes, so I missed the first 10 minutes or so. I was there for the important part, though, of choosing a roster of speakers who could be asked and designating who would receive the Bernard Beckerman honor.

Merwin, who is my rock, drove me in. He didn't think I could manage the train, and he was quite right. Managing with the walking I had to do was challenge enough. He read during the Board meeting and attended the talk, which was so far out of what I think about that it was entertaining. It was about a play that dramatizes a board game, Arden of Feversham, about the varying positions of the wealthy in an audience (on stage, in the far above, in boxes at the back of the stage), and much more. The speaker, Gina B from the U of California, Davis, was charming, young, enthusiastic, responsive to the questions posed by her respondent, Jean H. from Columbia. and by the audience. I asked a question, which is not my usual practice, but the handout she distributed showed, in its quotation from the play, bracketed “[asides]” and other stage directions. My query: how would these moments have been handled, for the original script does not show the word "asides" (which is why they were bracketed in the copy she gave us.]

Before the talk we had our usual hour of drinks and chat, and I enjoyed seeing friends there and also at the two meetings, Board and Seminar. Most of us have known each other for a long time. And new friends are delightful to meet. Some were of course surprised to see me with a cane, but I could quickly explain that it was a temporary thing. Those who read my blog, like Joe, know more than most will ever learn about me.

Between the Board meeting and the social hour, I noticed that the Seminar office was open and asked Alice, who runs it, about money remaining in my account. It's big! Over half. (This is a subvention from the Columbia Office of Seminars). And Becky wants to continue working with me. This is a relief. And now I have to figure out exactly what the best way to use her would be: it would help if she came here, at least for an initial tutorial. Let's see how it works out.

After the talk, Merwin and I lived a kind of comedy: he was looking forward to a snack afterward at Popover's (86th and Amsterdam), so we had given up on the idea of joining some of the seminarians at the Amsterdam Café (near 119th). We dropped off Bill G., who has to use a walker now, at that restaurant and saw, anyway, that there would not have been a close parking place. We got to Popovers, parked right in front of the restaurant, and then saw at the door the notice that it had been closed by the Board of Health! We were so sorry about that for their sake but even more about missing the meal we had hoped for. He approached another nearby restaurant on foot, but it was mobbed and there would have been a long wait for a table. So off we went to Long Island, discussing many possibilities, passing on one that had no parking in front, and another that was darkened, but finally ending at Le Citron, where I had a salad, a glass of Merlot and, unfortunately, two big crusty rolls with too much olive oil, which gave me a belly ache all night.

I realize I have missed some windows of opportunity to speak by phone to our granddaughter Rachael: she is off somewhere starting today, probably for a while. And we want to talk to Sandy, who is back in Cleveland: her mother is now in a hospice facility rather than hospice at home. Somehow, time goes by so quickly!

I got a lovely card from Leslie at the JCC: I miss my friends there; thanks, Elaine, for being a regular respondent.

Up early for a busy day! It's sunny and inviting, but first my stationary bicycle.

Love to all,
Bernice

Friday, May 14, 2010

Fun, mostly

Dear family and friends,

Of course the high point of the day was meeting with the writing group at NCC. Those who are still working there among those who came were a bit stressed perhaps by the end-of-semester business. But we had a good time. Toby read a piece about my blog! When she quoted it, she asked me to read the excerpt, which was fun. Though I am writing for everyone who cares to check in, I admit that I mostly write for myself, to remember my daily life! Sometimes it's a struggle to think "What did I do yesterday?" or "What happened?"

Going into the office and greeting old friends there, sifting through the accumulation of mail in my mailbox, walking down the corridors of Bradley Hall, I was greeted by many and also saw many strange faces. It has been 11 years since I retired, after all. But I still feel a strong connection to the place. To my friends, it goes without saying, but even to the place. I also ran into Rick, and got and gave a big hug. I am so proud of him. He was with Inez, who looks terrific.

I read to my group a part of my review of the TFANA MM. It's good to read a paper aloud; I did catch something that needed to be changed. But what I noticed most was how blank everybody seemed: they did not remember the play, which they had probably read eons ago. I have to stop and think: who is this review for? It's for the Shakespeare Newsletter of course, but how many will know the play as well as I do having just edited it and seen three performance versions? Hum. Something to ponder.

After our reading, four of us went to LL Dent, a Southern-inflected restaurant, where we met LL Dent herself. Charming. We chose, among us, fried green tomatoes, cornbread, potato salad, macaroni and cheese, coleslaw, fried catfish (I think), fried chicken salad, spicy cabbage, and sweet potato pie. We four ordered all of this and shared so everyone could taste. We liked all but the macaroni and cheese. Of course, as a vegetarian I avoided the animals.

Toby had picked me up, and she drove me home, so we had a chance to chat on our own. Since she and Elliott retired this past year, she will soon be selling their Roslyn apartment and making their NYC apartment and their summer house in Lennox, MA, their main domiciles. Change. Wonderful for them, of course. They will be planning to spend time with Brian, their new grandchild in Boston, of course, closer to Lennox than to Long Island.

I held up really well through all of this activity. On other occasions, I have not been able to go to lunch after our readings. So there is improvement (the result of NOT taking certain meds that were supposed to help me but didn't). But when I got home I was exhausted. The long awaited call had come from Mount Sinai in the morning: I am going to be in a trial for a medicine that will not cure my condition but that could reduce symptoms such as the humongous spleen. I went to NCC before all was settled, so I left the details to Merwin. He and Amy, the nurse at Mt. Sinai, decided that the first appointment would be June 10th. Once started, if the first tests go well, including bone marrow biopsy (BMB for short), I will be going to Mt. Sinai every week for a while for follow-up tests. Merwin, who interests Dr. Mascarenhas very much because he also has an MPD, will be studied with me but he won't get the drug since he has no symptoms to speak of.

After hearing about this, I was ready for sleep, but I had a long talk with Jim L., the editor of the Focus series Laury and I are working on, and that was even more tiring. I went to bed afterward and recovered somewhat by evening, We spoke to our granddaughter Michelle, who sounded very up. I hope we can get to see her as soon as I can get into NYC easily. Afterward, I decided to do the easy task of looking over the TLS copies that I have, thanks to Kathryn. Then a little reading of The Church of Shakespeare and some sips of Tonic and a little vodka. I slept very well, better than in ages. Thank you, vodka?

As I write this, I am listening to Harvey over the speaker phone talking to Merwin. So this may be a little discombobulated.

But all is well, and I look forward to the day, including NYC!

Love,
Bernice

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

More Progress

Bonnie Evans, the woman in the red blouse, sent this to me. She's
Greater Atlanta Friendship Force Ambassador; Greater Atlanta MPD (Myelo Proliferative Diseases) Group Coordinator, and Eastminster Presbyterian Church Deacon. We met at last year's MPD conference in NYC. It's her husband who has the condition, but it does not stop them from doing whatever they want (they recently took a long cruise all over South America. Here she is shown with other Friendship Force people, from Sydney, Australia, and Atlanta—and with Andrew Young, the American Civil Rights hero, one of the first members of the Friendship Force who helped make the organization what it is today. Bonnie is just one of the many amazing people I have met through the MPD network.

Dear family and friends,

A banner day on Wednesday: I drove the car around the block, and it felt perfectly natural. Bill, my (former) physical therapist, had said I could do it, but I was a little frightened. My right leg, the driving leg really, could hardly be lifted without pain a couple of weeks ago. While the overall pain is still there—though to a much lesser extent—the movement of the foot from gas to brake and back again added no pain. Feels perfectly normal. This means that I can drive anywhere where I can be reasonably sure of a safe passage by foot with my cane—and a not-too-distant walk. The cane will be a thing of the past within a few weeks, I believe.

Toby is picking me up today for our writing group meeting at NCC because I can't be sure of a place to park were I to drive myself, and I don't think I am ready for a 1/2 mile walk. I will be reading part of my Measure for Measure review, which I hope to submit this week.

Chopped chicken liver was on the menu for Merwin. He's somewhat averse to strong onions, so I chopped a shallot very fine, and finely chopped celery added some crunch. I used 3 or 4 whole hard boiled eggs for about double the quantity of livers, which I had broiled the day before. Then the really new idea: instead of fat (the original recipe calls for chicken fat, which no one uses any more), I cut up very fine a ripe avocado. It is of course full of vegetable fat of a very healthy kind. Merwin loved the result, and because there was so much of it, I called Vivian to come over and get a serving for herself and Mel. She liked it too.

In the afternoon, Merwin took me to the dermatologist for my 6-month checkup. She recognized immediately the spots on my arms as being caused by a steroid, which I told her was prednisone. Nothing can be done about all of the symptoms it causes.

Merwin is continuing with his project of converting old 33 records to CDs: He discovers interesting inserts: for example, my friend Marlene gave me a recording of Edna St. Vincent Millay's poems, and within, in gorgeous handwriting, Marlene had prepared a text of all the poems. Also there are several recordings of Old and Middle English literature, which was the field I was aiming for at the time.

I am definitely walking better. I worked for 45 minutes on the stationary bike and when we watched Rachel on MSNBC, I did all the other exercises Bill had mapped out for me. I am eager to get better as fast as I can.

Of course there is always family business, phone calls from our sons, and also from friends, but nothing untoward to report. The weather was dull with a little rain yesterday but today the sun shines bright, and the viburnum is still gorgeous, filling my study window.

Love to all,
Bernice

















moving my right foot (the one that hurts ) was not hard at all.

Lots of activities

Rachael on my right, Merwin and Michelle on my left
As always, click to enlarge and use back arrow to return to blog

Dear family and friends,

I had to post this photo to remind myself what I looked like pre-prednizone, with no apple cheeks and pumpkin belly. I will try to keep that image before me as consolation and hope for the not-too-distant-future.

Tuesday was a busy day: the morning began with an appointment for glasses. I have not worn anything but over-the-counter magnifying glasses in recent years as my eyes changed in a good direction. But because of the prednisone, the cataract on the lens of my right eye is getting worse: it already was humongous. We have a yearly Union benefit of a free eye exam and pair of glasses at a reduced price, so off we went early to pick out frames. I need something for the middle distance, from my eyes to the computer.

Later in the day, I had another visit to the dentist. I am ruining my teeth with grinding, but I already sleep so badly that I don't want to use the bite plate that should prevent it. Merwin dropped me off and went for a walk at the beach and returned just as I was opening John's book The Church of Shakespeare—I had to wait till bedtime to get back to it.

When he picked me up, we realized we could get to our free Tuesday movie. We went to see The City of Your Final Destination, a Merchant/Ivory film, with script as usual by Ruth Prawer Jhabvala, co-written by the author of the book that the film was based on: Peter Cameron. Like many Merchant/Ivory films, this was bittersweet and lovely to look at. Forget that its premise was weak: a PhD candidate in real life is not committed to one book and one book only. If he could not proceed with one topic, he would choose another: I did, many do. There was one quick scene when he, in front of a class, prompts them for writing an essay about the role of fate and character in Hardy. Though he tries to elicit a verbal exchange of ideas, the bell rings and the students pick up their books and leave. That's it. The end of his career as a teacher. Wow, he should have tried NCC to experience heartache in the classroom. But of course, not only heartache. It's worth sticking to the game.

Ilona's second painting went up, and looks great with the other already there: they are joyous. Merwin continues to convert 33 recordings into CDs (thanks Miriam!). What a host of old friends we can look forward to listening to! Carmina Burana, Façade, The Play of Daniel, T. S. Eliot reading his own poetry, and more!

I wrote my thank you letters to the company that sent the technician who drew my blood for all these weeks so expertly, and I wrote directly to Bill, the physical therapist from Visiting Nurses who worked with me. I also sent copies to my Dr. K, whose office arranged for these services. She should know when her choices work well (or not).

Onward to a rainy day, but there is already a smile on my face as I anticipate a good one, with opportunities to get back to work.

Love to all,
Bernice

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Busy day, busy week ahead


Lavin girls (clockwise from left, Gracie, Katie, and Sarah), into books
Click on the photo to enlarge it; use back arrow to return to blog

Dear family and friends,

Still a little tired on Monday, but down went the prednisone anyway, now 20 mg. We saw Dr. K. yesterday, having to wait an hour or more before she could get to us. But the news is pretty good. The big red spots on my arms are from the prednisone (so presumably they will disappear when I have tapered completely, but I didn't ask), the little ones are probably leaking platelets, which were 33 last week and are 40 this week (normal low is 150). Ugly, but not a problem. The weight gain is also prednisone, as is the apple on a stick shape: actually two apples, one on top of the other: the round face on top of the very round belly, with stick legs: call it "The Prednisone Look." Temporary, we can hope. The med is also doing a number on my eyes, blurring my vision by, evidently, enlarging the cataract in my right eye: a visit to Davis Optical is on the menu today.

After the doctor, we went to the Persian grocery store that's on the way home and picked up some dinner fixings. My cousins Gert and Sylvia were coming for a visit. Gert was on her way to Buffalo from Israel, where she had visited her son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter, all of whom are doing well. Gert is Sylvia's aunt, and my first cousin. We had fun eating, chatting, reminiscing. I consider myself a pretty cheerful person, but Gert is even more so, and she has had plenty to bring her down. But she is now the happy companion of a very good, loving, intelligent, active man.

For the others I made the turkey drumsticks and thighs baked in cranberry sauce, and for all of us I made limabean casserole, big salad with lots of veggies, and a dessert I invented that positively disgusted Sylvia and Merwin, that Gert liked, and that I loved: layered dates on pie pan, sprinkled liberally with walnuts, then covered with Droste unsweetened cocoa powder that I had mixed with water and vanilla flavoring. OK, I overdid the chocolate, which was indeed very bitter, but I like the combination of sweet dates, crunchy nuts and bitter chocolate. I should have used about 1/2 the chocolate. I ate quite a lot of it and sent the remainder to Merwin's study to be hidden and doled out occasionally. No control here.

Merwin, with the advice of all three women, put up the larger of Ilona's paintings. It looks terrific, a bright spot to enjoy as one enters the study: to the visitor's right, the flowering viburnum just past the deck, and to the left, high up, Ilona's painting, among others. Her smaller one, we all decided, should go next to the larger one: they make a good pair.

After our cousins left, Merwin and I finished the pleasant, easy evening with TV news and books—and I had a little wine, the last of that bottle. I feel as energetic this morning as I had before the trip to NYC. So I am thinking of NYC by myself: I imagine Merwin taking me to the train and me going to Penn Station to avoid stairs and then taking a cab to our studio apartment, with perhaps a visit to my shelf at the NYPL. I think by imagining it, I can make it happen. Maybe a week from now.

Love to all,
Bernice

Monday, May 10, 2010

Lazy Sunday

Brian Philip 3+ weeks old a few days ago
Toby and Elliott's first grandchild

Dear family and friends,

I think I may change my mind about Mother’s Day because it was so much fun hearing from people who wished me a happy day and to whom I could wish the same.

It's a bright day today; the viburnum is bowing and waving outside my window, but very cold! What weather we are having! Signs of climate change.

And the news goes on, but I am not going to register my thoughts and feelings about what's going on in the world. That would get us into a mare's nest. I do want to mention Elena Kagan, who is, evidently, Obama's pick for the open slot on the Supreme Court. The suspicious thing about her is that she is largely unknown: she seems to have a quality Obama likes and fosters in himself. She is a bringer-together, who can get opposites to work together on mutual goals. Good luck with such as Scalia, Roberts and Alito! The first two of these are powerful arguers for their position and have pulled the middleman to their side very often. Would she be another voice for consensus?

I paid the penalty yesterday for my day out on Sat. Too bad, but a big outing like that wipes me out for the next day too. Laury came over and we managed a couple of hours of work on our Measure for Measure edition. We crafted several questions for the students to try and answer. Tricky business, questions, because it is all too easy to subtly introduce one's own ideas: "Count the ways that the Duke is a despicable character." Hah! I am so opposed to such questions. Laury and I are both performance-oriented in our thinking. "How could you play the Duke's role so as to make him a sympathetic character?" The negative opinion the questioner has is still in there, but a little more hidden. By the way, the recent TFANA production did solve the problem, as did the Globe version a couple of years before.

Merwin and I went to a Hillwood concert yesterday on the C. W. Post campus. We have missed most of these concerts for one reason or another, but we can substitute a Tilles event for any we miss (also on the Post campus, for a small fee), so we have not been bereft of local concerts altogether. It was a wonderful program, but I am afraid I dosed off during much of it. The last item was very special: Piano Quintet in E-flat Major by Schumann. The Director, Host and frequent pianist for Hillwood concerts, Caroline Stoessinger, surprised us. She was listed as the pianist for this last piece but instead introduced a different pianist whose name I didn't catch,, and who did not appear on the program. It seems it must have been a last-minute change; otherwise Post would have provided an insert in the program. The slim young woman in a form-fitting outfit and with sparkly high heels that pumped up a storm earned the huzzahs of the crowd. Merwin and I listened to our version when we got home and found it to be much tamer. What's right? Who knows? Not so unlike the Duke, I guess.

Dave took over the controls of my computer through iChat to try and teach me how to use a program to take screen shots. I am hopeless. He will have to talk me through this again and write the instructions for me. At least I can now post the photos that are in my collection and those my faithful readers send me. Please keep them coming.

Our dear Rick stopped off to wish us a Happy Mother's Day and to bring a special candy/dessert that a person he knows makes. Delicious! Not too sweet. He is looking for a small apartment in Chelsea to rent. He is going to stay in NYC this summer, which will be delightful for us.

I am reading John Mosedale's novel, The Church of Shakespeare, published by LuLu for speed so John could hold it before he left us. It displays his deep love for and knowledge of Shakespeare at every turn. I wish I could chat with him about his characters and ideas, but I feel I am with him in some small way when I am reading his book.

Love to all,
Bernice