Two big outings

Dear family and friends,

Yesterday was a busy day. First the haircut that had been scheduled day or two after the unscheduled fall and broken pelvic bone on March 16th. I also had a manicure, which comes free with a haircut during mid-week at Paul Anthony Aesthetics in Manhasset. I asked for my manicure on the main level where I get the wash and cut, by Paul himself, who, with his wife, is a friend. It's a pleasant place to go. Merwin drove me there at 11 a.m. then walked to the Manhasset Library, a short distance away, where he sat in a comfortable chair and read. Right on the dot, I was done at noon. While I was there, a very kind cosmetician, in response to my question about what I could do for the many red spots of various sizes on my arms (from dots to quarters), the breaking platelets I guess, gave me a free treatment and also gave me a little of the magic green stuff to take home and use on my own: green counteracts the purple of the spots. Wow, they are ugly. I have to, she said, go to a cosmetic store and get dermo-something and also a powder to brush over it. Since I have not used makeup for many years, I do not have these items in the cupboard. My hair is thin from the chemo, so I welcome Paul's haircut to make it look halfway decent. He brings out the slightly curly hair I have now.

The second trip was to the Roslyn movie theater for the "free" Tuesday movie. We saw Polanski's Ghost Writer, which we both enjoyed very much. It's a thriller, with many surprises and not all of them are unraveled. What is clear is that Polanski is dissing the USA's CIA torture programs and explaining perhaps why a certain British prime minister agreed so readily to a crazy war in Iraq. In any case, I wonder if the recent rulings against Polanski have anything to do with this film? revenge? I do not exonerate Polanski, but there is plenty of blame to go around, with a mother of a 13-year-old allowing her daughter certain liberties, the child herself showing very poor judgment, and above all Polanksi giving in to his lust for young flesh, which is a sexual sickness, I believe.

But Polanski was very generous to me when I was writing a paper on his Macbeth, which I think is the best film of that play yet produced. I had already written a paper on the film, which I sent him along with a request for help, which he responded to with amazing generosity. For one of the plenary papers at a film conference in Sydney Australia (a beautiful city by the way), I wanted a copy of the original script before it morphed into the version actually filmed— to follow the creative process of Kenneth Tynan and Polanski. To go into the whole process here might be tedious, so I will just say that several people helped me: the ILL librarian at NCC; a son of a friend who worked at Ohio State U, which held one of the scripts; a library at the U of California which had another script; and more. Polanski not only sent me an early script but also a copy of his own storyboard, his very rough sketches for the scenes. Though these were rough, as such sketches tend to be, they were amazingly true to the images in the final film. So I have a warm spot for Polanski for his generosity to me, a nobody in his world. He is a victim of his sexual compulsion. So little can be done about such compulsions. This does not exonerate him, but I believe him when he says that there was a plea agreement that he would be sentenced to time already served, a matter of less than two months, I believe. When he heard that the judge had had a change of mind, he fled.

After the movie, Merwin suggested going out for dinner for the first time since the fall, but I was too tired. I am using the cane more, which is stressful, and two outings in one day was probably already one too many, so I suggested making him a Winnie-the-Pooh or two at home while we watch the News Hour. Since this may be his favorite meal, he readily agreed to defer the dinner out.

In between the two outings, Ilona came over with the two painting I had purchased. They are lying on my study table now—so bright, so cheerful. They make me smile every time I glance at them. I have already chosen a wall for them, the one right behind the chair I am sitting in, so when I enter this room I will see them immediately. They join Annie's very fine roses on the wall.

At the very end of the day I got back to hamletworks.org, entering data, correcting errors. And I finally ended with a glass of red wine. Nights, unfortunately, are not great: lots of sleeplessness, turning on the light to read, tossing and twisting to find a comfortable place for my right leg: it is getting better but bothers me most at night because I can't ignore it as I do during the day.

I was going to mention the freezer again, but suffice it to say that it is, as I write this, virtually empty and ready to be defrosted. Hooray for organization!

Love to all,
Bernice