Bernice is back

Hello everyone,

I am back! Merwin has been urging me to resume my blog, but he has been so good at it that I have hesitated to get on board. Thanks to Harvey, I now have a setup that allows me to keep my legs raised, and I can sit on my recliner while typing. I think I will ask Merwin if we can take turns. Since we heard from a dear friend yesterday who was happy to learn that I was on the road to recovery, Merwin has felt that he should perhaps be more forthright about my situation. I believe that I have recovered as fully as I ever will from the brain surgery (but hoping for improved memory as time goes on) and the back surgery (but hoping for good pain management). But the chronic condition remains. Now I am back to square one, dealing with the cancer. There is no cure. All I can hope for is good days, like this one. There is no pain from the disease, just fatigue and itching and some other inconvenient side effects, like needing to keep my legs elevated. I hope to be on another drug trial as soon as I can travel into NYC easily, and I think that could be soon, since our trip to Mt. Sinai as few weeks ago went very well. A new drug might relieve some symptoms.

Whatever my physical condition, I almost always have a smile on my face—as I do now while chatting with you, looking out my windows at the still vibrant leaves. I am looking forward to going back to our little studio in NYC, perhaps walking around the block to one of my favorite restaurants, Szechuan Gourmet (or more likely getting take-out), looking out the window at Bryant Park and watching the ice skaters. I know I have to conserve energy. An hour is about my limit for an outing. Someone will have to drive us to NYC. I am thinking about how this apartment, empty since I left Mt. Sinai in early Sept., will get cleaned before we come. Such things dance in my head—along with recipes for dishes featuring cauliflower, of all things. We bought a big, beautiful one at Rothcamps Farm, a half mile from our house. The farm stand will close the day before Thanksgiving, and the best vegetable they have are these gorgeous, huge pure white heads. Does anyone have a good recipe? I made a curry, enough for four people, with about 1/6 of the head. Help!

My Shakespeare work is a great joy to me. Today I am sending, via email, an essay on a Hamlet production to Shakespeare Studies. It was accepted over a year ago, but they had no room for it until this coming issue (they publish only once a year). The editor gave me a chance to look it over again and make changes. Merwin and Toby made suggestions, and I noticed a few sentences that could be clearer. Then there is my work on our website hamletworks.org, and of course wrapping up Measure for Measure, with my dear friend Laury. It’s a great life.

Love to all, Bernice