What lights my fire

Dear family and friends,

I found out dramatically what works to energize me. I had been moping from pure exhaustion after going to a local movie theater for the HD Don Carlos we saw yesterday (about half of it). But then rather late I noticed that a co-editor for hamletworks.org had sent a draft of an essay he has written for the Shakespeare Newsletter, which will introduce readers to the sources essay on the hamletworks.org web site, which he and Nick Clary have written—an enormous labor that will work for the New Variorum Hamlet as well as for hamletworks.org. The essay he wrote to introduce readers to the essay on the site is clever and witty and was for me a delight to read. I had a few editorial comments to make—naturally—and editing also energizes me. I hope Hardin and Nick like my edits.

Friday night's Columbia Shakespeare Seminar meeting was impossible. It hurt enormously when I can not do what I really want to do: I wanted so much to see Ralph Cohen honored as our annual Bernard Beckerman scholar and hear his paper and the ensuing discussion. I wanted to hug him and hear about his whole wonderful family and his circle of long-time friends.

I like to plan attending events, as I have mentioned, whether I will actually get there or not, but I knew from the get-go that starting at 4 p.m. when Laury would pick me up to go to Columbia and returning at about 10:30 p.m.—and interacting with all my friends (the latter especially takes more energy than I have)—would make it too much for me. I hope Ralph will come see me the next time he visits his daughter Sady in Brooklyn.

Ralph and I go back to 1987 when we were together in a Folger Institute, where I was thrilled then to learn about his wonderful ideas about performing Shakespeare. He has since accomplished so very much, more than any one person I know except perhaps Sam Wanamaker who pushed very hard for the replica of the Globe Theatre, London (that was built after Sam's death unfortunately). But Ralph’s replica of Blackfriars Theater in Staunton, VA, is gorgeous and more intimate a venue than the Globe. If Ralph has his way—and I am sure he will—he will get a Globe replica in Staunton too. It's a great place for a vacation, by the way: mountains, a great hotel, lovely shops, and a new play every day.

Friday morning, Syvia came with goodies from Brooklyn—all kosher of course. We ate lots of vegetarian sushi, which we both enjoy, and then Laury joined us for soup (made by my daughter-in-law Debbie and frozen). Short visits are good. At some point, I said to Sylvia, I have to lie down. I call it collapsing. She understood and left my room and drove home where she had to be anyway before Shabbos.

Yesterday at the opera, we met Evelyn and Harris and chatted with them a bit. Evelyn asked in that concerned way she has "How ARE you?" I answered, "The Better for seeing you,” which is true but also puts off any moaning about how I feel. I do prefer not to talk about my condition, though I can write about it easily enough.

The itching and fatigue have been horrendous. What's to be done? No word yet from Dr. M. at Mt. Sinai. I await the day he does respond with the possibility of a drug trial. No cure but relief from symptoms would be so great. As I sit here on my recliner, feet up, typing, I squirm where I cannot scratch, and scratch where I can. A ridiculous sight, I imagine.

In the meantime there is lots to do, lots to think about, so I will hold there.

Love,
Bernice