Above (I hope) are photos of a woodpecker that feeds on the suet that Merwin puts out for these birds in a special feeder. The red you see on the right head is a stripe not visible on the sides of the head. We both can see three kinds of woodpeckers from our respective study windows, his study below and mine above. The suet attracts birds with short beaks, too, but they can't get at the suet, held tightly between two bark boards, and soon give up. Behind the bird you can see the tangle of branches that once supported the gorgeous flowers of fall. Somehow the branches have their own beauty.
Dear friends and family,
This has been a doctoring week. I am trying to get at the cause and a cure for the neuropathy that is forcing me to forgo such delicious events as seeing Ralph Cohen receive the Bernard Beckerman Award at the Columbia Shakespeare Seminar earlier this month and hearing his talk (though I will receive a copy, he promises). I will see, him, though, on New Year's Eve morning; he has kindly offered to visit us at W. 40th Street before he and Judy catch a train back to the South. I love making such plans; they buoy me up. I know, though, that circumstances can change plans. It happens over and over again.
Merwin and I met with a new-to-us neurologist. The office which I had visited before my fall on July 23rd could not give me another appointment until mid Jan. to do the further tests that had been planned. So we started over with a Dr. O whom our Dr. K had recommended. A whirlwind, and much more impressive than the neurologist we had seen in July. He must be about 6'7", a Russian from St. Petersberg, and full of himself, but in a charming way. He was more interested in telling us his stories about Shakespeare and Pasternak than in mine (I have one too). What he regrets most about being here, it seems, is that he can pick up a book by Mandlestam (a poet my father revered also) and "get it," that is, the full richness of the Russian language as molded by this great writer, but when he reads any work in English that is supposed to be great, he understands the words, but he doesn't get its deep layers, and he knows he is missing something.
He looked at the list of meds I take, and immediately glommed onto the Thalidomide I had taken for only about 5 weeks last summer. It did no good and was discontinued. I had to take Prednisone with it and didn't get off of that for months and months. Dr. O thought that the Thalidomide may have caused the Neuropathy. He wanted to know how soon after the thalidomide had the symptoms started. He has prescribed a pain drug for me to take as needed, perhaps before going out to dinner (which I have not done since my birthday dinner last July) because I can't sit with my legs dangling down without experiencing pain that gets worse and worse. Movies, the Columbia Shakespeare Seminar, concerts (unless they are in very local venues where I can bring a stool for my feet) are all impossible. Dr. O set me up immediately for two MRIs, the site of the T9 compression of a vertebrae that I crushed when I fell, and the pelvic region, where nerves could affect the feet and legs. The same day I saw him, I had the first MRI. Very uncomfortable because I was itching and could not scratch and because lying on my back on a hard surface is painful. A kind technician helped.
The more immediate and important doctoring has been for Merwin. Now that he has prostate cancer there are various options that have to be explored, and we have visited two doctors so far this week (a urologist and a radiation specialist) and had long consults with each. They carefully laid out their recommendations and provided full and helpful encouragement. This cancer can be cured or at the least restrained. Our son Harvey will speak to both of these doctors as well as to a famed doctor at Sloan Kettering.
Merwin is worried about being able to take care of me, and he was reassured that side effects of his treatment would not be too onerous or debilitating to drive and carry on much as usual, the JCC included. And I am upset because I know I cannot take care of him, except in the usual way I do, by making meals and suggesting what he might make himself. I am a good nurse and want to do whatever he needs.
By the way, "good from bad" point: we both enjoyed the view of the sky garlanded with streams of cloud on our drives to the doctors.
On the family front, Merwin's birthday is on Xmas day, and we will celebrate with a cake that Sandy will make. She and Harvey will prepare the whole dinner, unless I can persuade them to let me make one dish at least.
Yesterday before a doctor visit, Margaret, the whirlwind, came to clean the house because she had not been able to come on her usual day, and she and Sonia were here together. They liked each other immediately. And why not? They are both adorable, lively, charming women. I am lucky!
I can't stop without saying how thrilled I am that Pres. Obama signed the repeal of the "Don't Ask" fiasco, and that the Senate passed the Start Treaty and the 9/11 responders' bill. Wow! as some pundits are saying, a trifeca for the president. But he also mentioned today unfinished business, the Dream (immigration) bill, voted down in the Senate, and closing Guantanamo. He is tenacious.
Love to all, and with all the traveling to doctors, please understand if we miss a day or two.
Bernice
No comments:
Post a Comment