Best laid plans

Dear family and friends,

Ta da! The news you are all waiting for! I think the paper went well in spite of a couple of glitches. Becky had arranged for a microphone, connected to a podium, so Kathryn sat near me but not right next to me. With the arrangement as it was, I could not put the transparencies on the machine by myself, which meant that I had to hand them to Merwin, who placed them for me. A bit awkward. But we three managed. With the extra prednisone again, I thought I might be able to read the whole paper, so began by reading the parts I had marked up for Kathryn. Eventually, though, I had to turn them over to her. She reads beautifully and got a big round of applause when I introduced her at the end. But in spite of a few awkward moments in delivery, it seemed to capture the interest of those who were there. Though I had practiced to check the timing and cut the paper again the day before, and even cut it on the spot, it went on much too long because of various problems and cut into the available time for discussion. But the responses were positive overall. I realize, though, how complicated the topic is for those who do not know anything about John Payne Collier, the Shakespearean scholar and forger. At the end, Joe said something very complimentary to the group as a whole to end the meeting and then to me individually when I responded to individuals who came up to the podium. He's been a partisan all along and an early reader of and helpful commentator on the paper from the beginning.

In spite of the bad weather, quite a few people came, not only regulars, but several of my friends: Toby and Elliott, Rhoda and Mark, Sami and Steve. Naomi of course schlepped in from New Jersey, and Irene came in spite of Marty being in the hospital. Jay, the good helpful librarian from the NYPL, was there. It was so kind of him to come. Though not everyone I had expected came, the dining room and seminar room were both quite full.

The most moving moment for me came in the pre-talk announcements: June delivered with Irene’s help a little history of the seminar that she had come upon recently going through Shakespeare Bulletin documents, a child one may say of our Shakespeare seminar. She told us that Bernie Beckerman had been, with Irene, one of the originators of the group in 1981 and that he had arranged for its status as a Columbia University seminar in 1983. She went on to say that each year in Bernie's honor, for the 24 years since his death, we name one speaker a year "The Bernie Beckerman Memorial Speaker," and this year that person had been Meredith Skura, our Sept. speaker. Then she paused for a second: The board, however, had decided to honor a second person this year, and then she named me. I was moved to tears (not unusual for me of course, but still heartfelt: I was very moved). Since I am a member of the board, they arranged this without telling me, of course. My paper had not been scheduled at the beginning of the year: I filled in last night for the originally scheduled speaker who bowed out about 6 weeks ago. Giving me a little time to compose myself, Harry then introduced me with much praise for my work, especially hamletworks.org.

Harry had dropped the bombshell earlier that his press and all others under the rubric of Associated University Presses would close immediately. I didn't get a chance to ask him about the backlog of books and who would get the Presses' rights to the books. His press published two of my books. I have the rights only to one of them, the run having sold out, and it is now on hamletworks.org.

I am sitting here before 5 a.m. after a very difficult night: 4-5 shirt changes and many foot cramps. It's a good thing that with the storm expected today we decided to modify our plans entirely for the weekend: Luckily, we had the pleasure of the plans themselves to keep us happy for many days before yesterday. So instead of an early train to the City, we took the car directly to Columbia and listened to our talking book. And afterward we were able to drive Barbara home and John to his car in Greenvale. We will, then, probably not see Rachael and Michelle today and we will not be going to the Morgan Library for the Jane Austen show. Too bad. However, a night such as I had would have been very difficult in the City. Without an extra room to retreat to, I would have disturbed Merwin all night.

So I am looking forward, not with too much regret, to a quiet day. I hope there will be some time to spend with Laury, who couldn't come last night, and for some work together on Measure for Measure.

Dr. K had left a phone message saying she was glad that I was feeling better and that I had an appointment on Monday with Dr. Janus. Ill phone her of course when I get the news about the prednisone taper. I hope I can do this so that I don't get breathing problems and don't get some of the mishaps that come with prednisone use.

Eventful days followed by quiet days, the pattern of my life. Hoping to spend more of those days with you, whether on this blog or otherwise,

Love,
Bernice