Dear family and friends,
A lovely chat with our dear French friends the Willemses was a highlight of the day: I think we spoke for over an hour, via iChat, after an initial failure of our server. We heard a lot about the conference where she read my paper for me. The affair, with its superb coordination by Sarah and Nathalie, sounded wonderfully congenial.
The Interlibrary Loan librarian, David, phoned me to get some information about books I had ordered. In the process, he led me through the NCC library's Internet system, which has more riches than I would have thought possible for a community college. Since retiring 10 years ago, I have not kept up with the advances they have introduced. They have JSTOR for example, which provides whole journal articles on the web. I found one I needed, did a screen capture of the pages I wanted to quote, then printed them. Neat. Merwin urged me t write down immediately all the steps involved in accessing databases, but of course by the time I got to it I was good with step 1 and 3 but didn't know how to do step 2. I'll confer with the librarian later today to fill in the gap.
Speaking of David, our David came over and replaced light bulbs and in general answered technical questions here and there. He is going to change my email program as soon as he can figure out how to transfer everything without pain.
I made potato latkes as planned: First I grated 2 apples mixing in juice of a half lemon, and cooked this until it was good applesauce consistency. Without cleaning out the Cuisinart, I grated 2 red-skinned potatoes (not as good as Yukon Gold) with a tiny bit of an onion, and a little squeeze of lemon juice, because these potatoes can darken, plus 2 eggs. I fried in canola oil and served with the apple sauce (cooled by placing he bowl in the freezer) and sour cream. Yum. Merwin ate very little because he had had his big meal at mid-day, and he can eat only one big meal a day. Me, I can eat big meals at all three, and in between as well. I am still gaining weight. I would like to believe that prednisone is giving me this appetite and weight gain, but only time will tell. I refuse to worry about it. I have spent too much of my life dealing with weight.
The Passover rolls came out even better than the first time. They toast into delicious freshness. Do I seem fixated on food?
Toby came over bearing goodies, leftovers from her Seder in Boston. It's fun having visitors. I am hoping to have more as the days go on.
Vivian dropped over with the bombshell news that our neighbor Bud had died of a sudden heart attack the afternoon before. Just an hour or so later we got in the mail a card signed by Ann and Bud, written by Ann of course, wishing us a happy holiday and me a speedy recovery.
Not a bad ending for a life: close to 90, a heart attack. Though always sad for those who are left behind.
Off to make a batch of gefrüschte matzo! When in doubt, EAT!
Love to all,
Bernice
Friday, April 2, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Progress everyday
Dear family and friends,
The sun is very bright, a good day to take my first trip in a car since the fall, over two weeks ago. Yesterday Bill showed Merwin and me how I could get down the outside stairs (very easy, same as inside really except one rail to hang onto instead of two), wheel along the path and to the open passenger door, and get in: the trick is to swing the derriere onto the seat, then swing the legs in. Easier said than done, since the right leg does not like to swing. But by holding on to the car and the hand grip, I eased myself in. We did that a few times, in and out, Bill coaching me as we went along. Hooray! Now I can go to the airport to pick up Jesús on Sunday. Today we are going to take a practice run down to the beach.
Bill told me that only walking and standing can strengthen the broken bone. The exercises he gives me to do, more each time he comes, are to prevent muscles from deteriorating. I certainly have done a lot of standing in the kitchen these last few days with all the prep for Passover. But generally I do a lot of sitting also, counting on my JCC exercises to provide whatever invigorating weight bearing exercise I need. Now I have to focus more on walking and standing here at home to get better faster. It will take a long time, Bill says. This is a bad break, he intones. But then again he praises my efforts, as any good instructor should.
Yesterday I found that I had made a serious mistake (in my own thinking) when recording a Gunthio note for hamletworks.org. Who knows how many such I overlook entirely. Oh, my. I have to be extra careful. The mind is not what it used to be.
My bloods came back with good improvements, WBC down and platelets up, though each far from "normal." I am grateful for any signs that the meds are working.
Potato pancakes on the menu tonight, with applesauce and sour cream. I made a second batch of matzoh rolls; they were terrific, very light. Sami writes that her rolls are a bit different. She adds the dry ingredients to the water; I do the opposite, adding the very hot water to the dry ingredients, and then the eggs one at a time. She flavors the rolls with a little cinnamon and uses part walnut oil, which is less savory than the part olive oil I use. The rolls can go either way, sweet or savory, or divide the dough in half and make each half a different flavor.
I hope you enjoy your day as much as I expect to,
Love,
Bernice
The sun is very bright, a good day to take my first trip in a car since the fall, over two weeks ago. Yesterday Bill showed Merwin and me how I could get down the outside stairs (very easy, same as inside really except one rail to hang onto instead of two), wheel along the path and to the open passenger door, and get in: the trick is to swing the derriere onto the seat, then swing the legs in. Easier said than done, since the right leg does not like to swing. But by holding on to the car and the hand grip, I eased myself in. We did that a few times, in and out, Bill coaching me as we went along. Hooray! Now I can go to the airport to pick up Jesús on Sunday. Today we are going to take a practice run down to the beach.
Bill told me that only walking and standing can strengthen the broken bone. The exercises he gives me to do, more each time he comes, are to prevent muscles from deteriorating. I certainly have done a lot of standing in the kitchen these last few days with all the prep for Passover. But generally I do a lot of sitting also, counting on my JCC exercises to provide whatever invigorating weight bearing exercise I need. Now I have to focus more on walking and standing here at home to get better faster. It will take a long time, Bill says. This is a bad break, he intones. But then again he praises my efforts, as any good instructor should.
Yesterday I found that I had made a serious mistake (in my own thinking) when recording a Gunthio note for hamletworks.org. Who knows how many such I overlook entirely. Oh, my. I have to be extra careful. The mind is not what it used to be.
My bloods came back with good improvements, WBC down and platelets up, though each far from "normal." I am grateful for any signs that the meds are working.
Potato pancakes on the menu tonight, with applesauce and sour cream. I made a second batch of matzoh rolls; they were terrific, very light. Sami writes that her rolls are a bit different. She adds the dry ingredients to the water; I do the opposite, adding the very hot water to the dry ingredients, and then the eggs one at a time. She flavors the rolls with a little cinnamon and uses part walnut oil, which is less savory than the part olive oil I use. The rolls can go either way, sweet or savory, or divide the dough in half and make each half a different flavor.
I hope you enjoy your day as much as I expect to,
Love,
Bernice
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Sweet visit
Our Seder plate, and above Merwin's right shoulder the image of
Harvey and Sandy's Seder table
Harvey took this photo from his side of the Internet connection
Dear family and friends,
Yesterday's highlight was the arrival late in the evening of Jesús, our dear friend, from Valencia. I could not travel by car to be with him for the hour drive home from the airport, so I did not see him till about 9 p.m. Then I learned that he had to leave for Chicago quite early today: 8 a.m. Merwin has already dropped him off at the airport. All his and our plans were made so we could have the maximum amount of time together, beginning and ending with time in Glen Head, sandwiching within the Shakespeare conference, which Merwin and I are not attending.
He is going to see if he can change his return to Long Island from Chicago to Saturday instead of Sunday, to give us at least about 24 hours together before he returns to Spain. The love flows among us: he is so dear. Having him here, looking at him, relishing his presence, it's almost as if we were together only yesterday. It's a precious friendship and for me is especially rich because of the Hamlet work we do together and separately. Another benefit of a discipline that requires—who knew?—nation-wide as well as international collaborations in addition to the ones all over the USA! And these friendships are particularly sweet for us when Merwin and I both enjoy them, as is so often the case.
I rose early yesterday and began the Passover rolls that are a favorite of this season for us. They came out very nice: I made them with part whole wheat, part white matzo meal; part peanut oil and part olive oil. The recipe is at the bottom. I wanted to get the rolls in the oven so I could start on the gefrüschte matzo (refreshed matzo) or whatever it is called in your tradition to have it ready for Merwin when he got up. Recipe below.
It was a rainy, rainy day: an amazing amount of rain fell. But in this bright room it is still possible to feel that the sun is out there somewhere. And the buds continue to unfold, the birds to visit the feeder, and all things say SPRING. A very peaceful day.
Lincoln came to have dinner with me (brought from Sylvia and Marty's Seder the evening before) and to watch over me while Merwin was at the airport (he left here at 6:30 p.m.). Jesús was the last of the 500 + passengers to come through the gate! And I suppose it was a good thing Lincoln was here: I dropped a bowl of strawberries trying to remove it from the refrigerator, and Linc was there to pick it up. Also, our power went off briefly, and Lincoln readied candles and flashlights in case it happened again, but it didn't.
Merwin finally came home, and he, Jesús, and I had about 2 hours together before bedtime; then about an hour this morning. Too little. But more to come, however brief.
Love to all,
Bernice
Gefrüschte matzo recipe:
Place a large frying pan on the stove top: heat it and then add sweet oil (i.e. canola or peanut, not a flavorful oilive oil). keep warm or slightly hot; the other prep will not take long.
Using 2 sheets of Matzo per person, more or less, run the matzo under the faucet to wet somewhat, not so much that it falls apart.
In a bowl, break the sheets into pieces, not crumbs, but big bite-sized pieces
Add 1 or 2 eggs or egg beaters per serving, and mix thoroughly, enough to coat the matzo thoroughly.
Add salt and pepper to taste.
Bring the oil in the pan to a higher temperature and add the matzo.
Fry until crisp, turning frequently to brown all surfaces. but don't let them dry out. There should be packets of softer matzo within each crisp bundle.
Dave made a sweet version of this with cinnamon and other sweeteners, but no sugar. I like mine savory. If I were to add anything it would be sauteed onions.
Passover rolls
I like this recipe because it is easy to remember: every mesurement is related to .5 or 1/2 (in my mnd)
Pre-prep: Take 5 eggs out of the refrigerator so they will be room temperature. Preheat oven to 500 (yes, 500; it gives the dough a quick shock into rising). Boil 2 cups of water; when the kettle whistle sounds (if you use one) turn off the burner and hold for the few minutes it will take you to prepare the dough. Prepare a cookie sheet by sprinkling with matzo meal.
The rolls:
Place in a large bowl 2 C matzo meal: I used part whole wheat and part white.
With a large fork, mix in 1/2 C oil until the dough looks a bit crumbly: I used part olive oil and part peanut oil.
Add and mix in salt and pepper to taste. In general I use very little salt, more pepper, and for this batch I used a tiny amount of cumin (1/2 t perhaps).
Add eggs one at a time, from the shell right into the batter, and mix in thoroughly, You are not beating the eggs or whipping them: just mix them until they blend in.
Using a large spoon, scoop out a portion of batter and place onto the crumbs on the cookie sheet. You should have about 12 rolls. Place in hot oven and turn heat down to 475. Bake for 45 minutes or so; ovens vary as you know. Peak at them at 45 minutes and if they are not brown enough, give them another 5-10 minutes. They should be light (well, not VERY light). Try picking one up carefully. Heaviness means there is more liquid within that needs to be incorporated better.
This batch came out very well. A good bread for any occasion, but extra nice for Passover.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Successful experiment
Dear family and friends,
We had an iChat Seder last night! It worked. Merwin and I had prepared our Seder plate with the bitter and green herbs, the roasted egg and other symbols of the holiday, with a basket of matzo, the wine and glasses and most of the other fixings in the small space in front of my large computer. When the time came, Harvey, in Woodbridge, CT, tested the iChat: it worked! he placed his computer where we usually sit, to his left near the head of the table, so when people looked that way, they could see us, and we could see them as we usually do. I can't say the image was as bright or cheerful as the in-person version, but it was great to be part of it! We sang the songs, and with some urging I sang my special song, Mah LaHa haYam. Didn't quite work because my voice was not strong enough to guide this non-singing group in the response part of the tune. But I was amazed I could sing at all (not well, not wisely, but happily).
I missed the more intimate conversations we have with friends there, so I could not find out about the older children of Doran and Sharon, who were not there; or with Jordy, who was one of three Yale students there; or with Katie who was sitting next to me; or with her friend who was sitting next to her. I think only her married son was there with his wife: where were the other sons? Michelle was the only granddaughter there, and I noticed that she sat to the right of her mother, across from where I would have been sitting, and not with the children at the other end of the table. Not that there were any children! All the children have become grownups.
But even more unsettling, I guess, was the fact that there was no one there of our generation. Sharon's parents are gone, Sandy's parents can't travel because of her mother's struggle with pancreatic cancer, though Lee and Murray did join us via regular phone for a song and a "hello" all around. And we could not travel either. We are seeing the generations shifting before our eyes.
I think of our dear friend Sandy's wish that all her children be married and start families young. I think I understand better now. A long period of bachelor-hood does not make for continuity between generations.
Change is inevitable and the steps are clearer from this vantage point, far from the beginning.
I remember the raucous family Seders my parents made, with all my close cousins there and aunts and uncles. The men chanted, the woman chatted, and the children made mischief at, under, and around the table. This scheme fell apart of course as it had to, and I recall a Seder with only the three of us, mama, papa, and me at 15 in Miami Beach, Fla. I conducted the Seder, and my parents were so pleased. But what a difference from the old days, which I thought would last forever! Oh well, enough of family history. One can get started and never stop.
And lots more happened yesterday. I heard from the editor of the journal to which I sent my revised essay, and he was pleased to have it. He was planning to send it to the two readers to see if they liked or could approve of my changes. It's actually quite a different essay, much better I think, but also lacking a personal element I had included in the earlier version. Then, I placed myself in the circle of scholars who make decisions that are purportedly intellectual and scholarly and yet have an emotional and personal bias. So I will know soon if the readers and editors still want to publish the piece. I started this project in 2002, dropped it when other commitments became too pressing, and returned to it last October when I got the new, more serious diagnosis of myelo fibrosis. It was one of three things I wanted to complete before . . . you know what. Now it is almost done, but I have miles to go before I sleep, many projects in process.
Yesterday also was eventful on other fronts: the tech came for the blood draw again. I didn't know he'd be here every week. More importantly, the Visiting Nurse, Bill, whose specialty is physical therapy, came and gave me more exercises to do. They are going to take a chunk out of my day, but I can modify as events demand. I had so much kitchen work yesterday that I couldn't get to many reps of the exercises. I also asked him for some exercises for arms and back with my 3 lb weights; he gave me two simple ones to try (3 x 10 reps each as are all the exercises). And I must walk and walk around with the walker. The pain is going to be a problem for a long time, even with the pain meds, he says, but I just have to work through it. He says that this is one of the more painful fractures. I guess this is tit for tat: no cast, no surgery, no hospital stay—but pain. The best news is that Bill is going to show me on Wed. how I can get into and out of a car. He'll tell me when I will be strong enough to endure the jouncing of automobile travel and thus actually go somewhere. It would be good to get to the dentist for the appointment I missed the very day, two weeks ago, that I broke my pelvis. And on April 9th, I'd love to get to the Jolly Fisherman for our monthly "ladies who lunch." Then later in the month we have tickets for a play in NYC. Can I make that? Looks possible, maybe, I hope. Lots of things pushing me forward into the future.
Well, enough about me: what about you?
Love,
Bernice
We had an iChat Seder last night! It worked. Merwin and I had prepared our Seder plate with the bitter and green herbs, the roasted egg and other symbols of the holiday, with a basket of matzo, the wine and glasses and most of the other fixings in the small space in front of my large computer. When the time came, Harvey, in Woodbridge, CT, tested the iChat: it worked! he placed his computer where we usually sit, to his left near the head of the table, so when people looked that way, they could see us, and we could see them as we usually do. I can't say the image was as bright or cheerful as the in-person version, but it was great to be part of it! We sang the songs, and with some urging I sang my special song, Mah LaHa haYam. Didn't quite work because my voice was not strong enough to guide this non-singing group in the response part of the tune. But I was amazed I could sing at all (not well, not wisely, but happily).
I missed the more intimate conversations we have with friends there, so I could not find out about the older children of Doran and Sharon, who were not there; or with Jordy, who was one of three Yale students there; or with Katie who was sitting next to me; or with her friend who was sitting next to her. I think only her married son was there with his wife: where were the other sons? Michelle was the only granddaughter there, and I noticed that she sat to the right of her mother, across from where I would have been sitting, and not with the children at the other end of the table. Not that there were any children! All the children have become grownups.
But even more unsettling, I guess, was the fact that there was no one there of our generation. Sharon's parents are gone, Sandy's parents can't travel because of her mother's struggle with pancreatic cancer, though Lee and Murray did join us via regular phone for a song and a "hello" all around. And we could not travel either. We are seeing the generations shifting before our eyes.
I think of our dear friend Sandy's wish that all her children be married and start families young. I think I understand better now. A long period of bachelor-hood does not make for continuity between generations.
Change is inevitable and the steps are clearer from this vantage point, far from the beginning.
I remember the raucous family Seders my parents made, with all my close cousins there and aunts and uncles. The men chanted, the woman chatted, and the children made mischief at, under, and around the table. This scheme fell apart of course as it had to, and I recall a Seder with only the three of us, mama, papa, and me at 15 in Miami Beach, Fla. I conducted the Seder, and my parents were so pleased. But what a difference from the old days, which I thought would last forever! Oh well, enough of family history. One can get started and never stop.
And lots more happened yesterday. I heard from the editor of the journal to which I sent my revised essay, and he was pleased to have it. He was planning to send it to the two readers to see if they liked or could approve of my changes. It's actually quite a different essay, much better I think, but also lacking a personal element I had included in the earlier version. Then, I placed myself in the circle of scholars who make decisions that are purportedly intellectual and scholarly and yet have an emotional and personal bias. So I will know soon if the readers and editors still want to publish the piece. I started this project in 2002, dropped it when other commitments became too pressing, and returned to it last October when I got the new, more serious diagnosis of myelo fibrosis. It was one of three things I wanted to complete before . . . you know what. Now it is almost done, but I have miles to go before I sleep, many projects in process.
Yesterday also was eventful on other fronts: the tech came for the blood draw again. I didn't know he'd be here every week. More importantly, the Visiting Nurse, Bill, whose specialty is physical therapy, came and gave me more exercises to do. They are going to take a chunk out of my day, but I can modify as events demand. I had so much kitchen work yesterday that I couldn't get to many reps of the exercises. I also asked him for some exercises for arms and back with my 3 lb weights; he gave me two simple ones to try (3 x 10 reps each as are all the exercises). And I must walk and walk around with the walker. The pain is going to be a problem for a long time, even with the pain meds, he says, but I just have to work through it. He says that this is one of the more painful fractures. I guess this is tit for tat: no cast, no surgery, no hospital stay—but pain. The best news is that Bill is going to show me on Wed. how I can get into and out of a car. He'll tell me when I will be strong enough to endure the jouncing of automobile travel and thus actually go somewhere. It would be good to get to the dentist for the appointment I missed the very day, two weeks ago, that I broke my pelvis. And on April 9th, I'd love to get to the Jolly Fisherman for our monthly "ladies who lunch." Then later in the month we have tickets for a play in NYC. Can I make that? Looks possible, maybe, I hope. Lots of things pushing me forward into the future.
Well, enough about me: what about you?
Love,
Bernice
Monday, March 29, 2010
Busy day yesterday
Dear friends and family,
I had a very active day yesterday in the kitchen, standing a lot, moving from sink to counter to fridge, etc. Now I am paying the penalty: starting yesterday evening I had quite a lot of pain, then through the night and this morning as well. I don't think I damaged anything. I just have to go easier today. One factor is the change of pills, from a higher dose with Tylenol that I took every 8 hours to a lower dose without Tylenol that I can take every 6 hours or less, if I need it. Without the Tylenol, I don't have to worry about a Tylenol overdose.
We had a bit of a comedy of errors last night in the kitchen: twice, not once, I dropped a full container of little white pills on the floor. Of course, I could not bend to pick them up, so Merwin, with his stiff back, had to roll around seated on a stool to get the little white pills scattered on the white tiles. Once one set of pills was all off the floor and safely in its jar again, I dropped another. I could do very little but stand there leaning on the walker; I couldn't move lest I roll or step on a pill. Merwin took it all very well, though he had loads to do. When I “Black-Sammed” him, he only gave me a look (which from long experience I understood immediately). Black Sam was Merwin's large, Italian boss for the short time he worked on particular types of labor gang jobs at a Buffalo steel plant. Black Sam would stand watching the men picking up, say, heavy bricks randomly tossed in a pile, and he would point imperiously to a specific one and say in his growly, nasty voice (or perhaps just indicate) "That one!” Of course ALL had to be picked up, so picking up any particular one was just nonsense. Since then, Black-Samming has entered our family vocabulary. A look from Merwin is enough to tell me that I am doing it. We all hate being Black-Sammed! Fortunately for Merwin he soon moved from the Labor Gang to the railroad crew, a much easier and better job altogether. This is how he supported us (we had married during our Freshman year) for most of the college years. It was the sort of work that disappeared from Buffalo and from the country not long after as the steel plants were closed one by one, along with all the other mills and factories. It had been a way for relatively uneducated men to make a good living. The pay had been better at the steel plant than it was at Merwin's first job as an engineer after graduation from the University of Buffalo in 1954.
Working more on Gunthio yesterday, I found some intriguing mysteries. One mystery is with Google Books. A search for Gunthio found quite a lot of material, including a full-length book that mentioned him on one page. Wow, I thought, I can download this whole book. While I was debating about printing (the only way to copy it that the page allowed) such a long book (a New Variorum ed. of R2), I turned to other entries: some can be printed, some not. It's strange. Later in the day, when I tried to get back to the R2 book, I could no longer access the whole book. Does anyone reading this understand the mysteries of Google Books? I have noticed this before: a search for exactly the same thing on two occasions gets a different result each time.
The other mystery is with Gunthio himself. He makes a statement about Q1 Hamlet that is false. Why? What does it mean? I like pondering these things. Gunthio is a pseudonym for, I believe, John Payne Collier, and this is one of the false trails he leaves. Or a mistake he makes accidentally because he is working from memory?
I hope to feel better as I proceed through the day. I know that thinking of you, enjoying the music and my work, finishing up the Passover details for tonight, I will have a full day. I predict it will be a happy one.
Love to all,
Bernice
I had a very active day yesterday in the kitchen, standing a lot, moving from sink to counter to fridge, etc. Now I am paying the penalty: starting yesterday evening I had quite a lot of pain, then through the night and this morning as well. I don't think I damaged anything. I just have to go easier today. One factor is the change of pills, from a higher dose with Tylenol that I took every 8 hours to a lower dose without Tylenol that I can take every 6 hours or less, if I need it. Without the Tylenol, I don't have to worry about a Tylenol overdose.
We had a bit of a comedy of errors last night in the kitchen: twice, not once, I dropped a full container of little white pills on the floor. Of course, I could not bend to pick them up, so Merwin, with his stiff back, had to roll around seated on a stool to get the little white pills scattered on the white tiles. Once one set of pills was all off the floor and safely in its jar again, I dropped another. I could do very little but stand there leaning on the walker; I couldn't move lest I roll or step on a pill. Merwin took it all very well, though he had loads to do. When I “Black-Sammed” him, he only gave me a look (which from long experience I understood immediately). Black Sam was Merwin's large, Italian boss for the short time he worked on particular types of labor gang jobs at a Buffalo steel plant. Black Sam would stand watching the men picking up, say, heavy bricks randomly tossed in a pile, and he would point imperiously to a specific one and say in his growly, nasty voice (or perhaps just indicate) "That one!” Of course ALL had to be picked up, so picking up any particular one was just nonsense. Since then, Black-Samming has entered our family vocabulary. A look from Merwin is enough to tell me that I am doing it. We all hate being Black-Sammed! Fortunately for Merwin he soon moved from the Labor Gang to the railroad crew, a much easier and better job altogether. This is how he supported us (we had married during our Freshman year) for most of the college years. It was the sort of work that disappeared from Buffalo and from the country not long after as the steel plants were closed one by one, along with all the other mills and factories. It had been a way for relatively uneducated men to make a good living. The pay had been better at the steel plant than it was at Merwin's first job as an engineer after graduation from the University of Buffalo in 1954.
Working more on Gunthio yesterday, I found some intriguing mysteries. One mystery is with Google Books. A search for Gunthio found quite a lot of material, including a full-length book that mentioned him on one page. Wow, I thought, I can download this whole book. While I was debating about printing (the only way to copy it that the page allowed) such a long book (a New Variorum ed. of R2), I turned to other entries: some can be printed, some not. It's strange. Later in the day, when I tried to get back to the R2 book, I could no longer access the whole book. Does anyone reading this understand the mysteries of Google Books? I have noticed this before: a search for exactly the same thing on two occasions gets a different result each time.
The other mystery is with Gunthio himself. He makes a statement about Q1 Hamlet that is false. Why? What does it mean? I like pondering these things. Gunthio is a pseudonym for, I believe, John Payne Collier, and this is one of the false trails he leaves. Or a mistake he makes accidentally because he is working from memory?
I hope to feel better as I proceed through the day. I know that thinking of you, enjoying the music and my work, finishing up the Passover details for tonight, I will have a full day. I predict it will be a happy one.
Love to all,
Bernice
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Progress on several fronts
Dear family and friends,
I attached my Sea essay to an email and sent it off last night. It's a good feeling. The editor had said that I could have till the end of March or even longer, but it's always good to get things off my desk so I can go on to the next thing.
I don't know if I have mentioned that I have started the prednisone taper? So far, with the slower taper, it does not seem to be affecting me as did the last try at tapering, when going down from 35 to 30 had an almost instant deleterious effect on my breathing. Now I am tapering from 35 to 32.5, and so far so good. The prednisone has done good and bad things for me overtly (and is doing good and bad things covertly). My pride and joy, my delicate feet and legs, are hunks of flesh, swollen beyond recognition. My appetite is enormous; I seem to want to eat constantly. And as as person who has not wanted to eat sugar for years and years, I am now a secret sweetaholic. I have gained weight. But even before that, I got the typical prednisone chipmunk cheeks. I don't recognize myself in the mirror. On the other hand, prednisone has given me energy. I have been staying up till midnight, sleeping about 7 hours each night, with one deep nap during the day. What will happen to the fatigue factor once I have tapered completely? But taper we must, because of all the damage the prednisone can do to various joints and organs.
I am now at the top of the list for the drug trial at Mount Sinai. It's a phase one, which means the optimum dose of the drug is being studied. While before my fall I would have been impatient to get started, now I am just hoping that I wont be called until my broken pelvis bone, the pubic ramus, is healed and I am able to go into the City once a week for the many weeks of the trial (when I can walk). Since the experimental drug can have many ill side effects, I am hoping to complete the specific projects I have with Measure for Measure before I have to deal with them. I remain aware that my condition could take a downturn very swiftly with or without the trial drug, and I continue to enjoy one day at a time, with a smile almost always on my face. Except when I get impatient about the things I want to do that I can't do.
Last evening, we watched "Gran Torino," with Clint Eastwood and enjoyed it, even though in retrospect it is hokey: still watching an artist at the top of his game is a thrill. And this morning, while waiting for Merwin to wake up, I saw the tail end of "ET" and teared-up as usual at the parting of the children and alien—tears, while at the same time noticing all the gimmicks that Spielberg uses to get those tears flowing.
I did take a bit of a chance this morning. I woke up with one of those night sweats and didn't want to wake Merwin, who was sleeping peacefully. So I went up the 4 stairs for a shower. Without him to help, I had no walker to get from the stairs to the little bathroom, but I used a rolling desk chair for help, and it worked well enough. I also picked out something to wear from the closet and was well into my shower before Merwin came looking for me. He was a little upset with me because he thought I had unnecessarily endangered myself. I suppose so, but independence is important, and I have to be fearless—but careful.
Things are heating up with Passover prep. I didn't expect to do as much as I have to now that I am home. Today, I will prepare the Passover plate. With this sweet tooth I have, I expect to enjoy the charoses (the sweet paste that represents the mortar used by the enslaved Jews to make bricks for Pharaoh). More anon.
Love to all,
Bernice
I attached my Sea essay to an email and sent it off last night. It's a good feeling. The editor had said that I could have till the end of March or even longer, but it's always good to get things off my desk so I can go on to the next thing.
I don't know if I have mentioned that I have started the prednisone taper? So far, with the slower taper, it does not seem to be affecting me as did the last try at tapering, when going down from 35 to 30 had an almost instant deleterious effect on my breathing. Now I am tapering from 35 to 32.5, and so far so good. The prednisone has done good and bad things for me overtly (and is doing good and bad things covertly). My pride and joy, my delicate feet and legs, are hunks of flesh, swollen beyond recognition. My appetite is enormous; I seem to want to eat constantly. And as as person who has not wanted to eat sugar for years and years, I am now a secret sweetaholic. I have gained weight. But even before that, I got the typical prednisone chipmunk cheeks. I don't recognize myself in the mirror. On the other hand, prednisone has given me energy. I have been staying up till midnight, sleeping about 7 hours each night, with one deep nap during the day. What will happen to the fatigue factor once I have tapered completely? But taper we must, because of all the damage the prednisone can do to various joints and organs.
I am now at the top of the list for the drug trial at Mount Sinai. It's a phase one, which means the optimum dose of the drug is being studied. While before my fall I would have been impatient to get started, now I am just hoping that I wont be called until my broken pelvis bone, the pubic ramus, is healed and I am able to go into the City once a week for the many weeks of the trial (when I can walk). Since the experimental drug can have many ill side effects, I am hoping to complete the specific projects I have with Measure for Measure before I have to deal with them. I remain aware that my condition could take a downturn very swiftly with or without the trial drug, and I continue to enjoy one day at a time, with a smile almost always on my face. Except when I get impatient about the things I want to do that I can't do.
Last evening, we watched "Gran Torino," with Clint Eastwood and enjoyed it, even though in retrospect it is hokey: still watching an artist at the top of his game is a thrill. And this morning, while waiting for Merwin to wake up, I saw the tail end of "ET" and teared-up as usual at the parting of the children and alien—tears, while at the same time noticing all the gimmicks that Spielberg uses to get those tears flowing.
I did take a bit of a chance this morning. I woke up with one of those night sweats and didn't want to wake Merwin, who was sleeping peacefully. So I went up the 4 stairs for a shower. Without him to help, I had no walker to get from the stairs to the little bathroom, but I used a rolling desk chair for help, and it worked well enough. I also picked out something to wear from the closet and was well into my shower before Merwin came looking for me. He was a little upset with me because he thought I had unnecessarily endangered myself. I suppose so, but independence is important, and I have to be fearless—but careful.
Things are heating up with Passover prep. I didn't expect to do as much as I have to now that I am home. Today, I will prepare the Passover plate. With this sweet tooth I have, I expect to enjoy the charoses (the sweet paste that represents the mortar used by the enslaved Jews to make bricks for Pharaoh). More anon.
Love to all,
Bernice
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Another sunny day
Dear Family and Friends,
Frustrations again with Eudora, my email program, which Michigan U professors who invented have long since discontinued supporting. I am afraid ti will corrupt my whole computer. Dave will come soon and take care of email I hope.
Bill, the Visiting Nurse who takes care of physical therapy, gave me a long list of exercises to do and put me through the paces while he was here to show me how to do them. They will take a lot of my time, I can see. For one, he wants me to go up and down the stairs at least 3x in a row, and then another set later. There are all sorts of chair exercises, lifting the foot that hurts up and down, etc., and other strengthening exercises for quads, thighs, ankles, etc. I would like go get some small weights for my arms if he approves, though,lifting my weight with my arms on the wheelie does exercise my arms a bit. He'll be back on Monday. As I do more, the hip hurts more, but no pain no gain, as Jane Fonda said.
Sylvia came with lunch and Passover groceries and her good company. We will see more of her after Passover, now that she is leaving her most demanding job and taking it easier. Sophie sent via Brendan her good and easy version of spinach pie, which we had for supper—so no cooking today at all. Now she wants to make the spinach pie I raved about: I am not sure though that it is worth all the extra effort. Sophie says I didn't put it on my blog. it's below for anyone who wants it.
I am feeling ready to resubmit my essay for publication. I have more work to do on it, but it could stand as is, and with the need for it to go back to the readers for their approval of my responses to their comments, I think I will have time to add any results from the small amount of further research I am trying to do. I may submit it today. It's not easy to work solely on the Internet. How great it would be just to go to a good library and pick up what I need! But thank goodness for my wonderful librarian friends and for the Internet.
Poor Merwin. So much of the burden of daily life that I handled must fall on him in addition to all the work he already does for this household. He is getting worn out. But what a loving attendant he is. I try not to wake him at night when I get up for the bathroom, but if he hears me he is instantly at attention with a warm smile. What a trouper! Merwin, I do appreciate you, even when I get a little impatient.
Love to all,
Bernice
Sara’s Spinach Pie
The Temporary Vegetarian: Sara’s Spinach Pie (NYT October 14, 2009)
Time: 1 hour 45 minutes (ha! the making took me about 3 hrs. The baking will be another hour)
3 tablespoons olive oil, more as needed (much more, but oh well)
2 large yellow onions, finely chopped (I used one very big one and let the Cuisinart do the chopping)
Sea salt (I used the salt I had on hand) but leave this out; cheese is very salty.
2 pounds fresh spinach, washed and thoroughly dried (I bought pre-washed spinach; baby spinach would have been better; I checked the Internet to see if pre-washed is safe to use without re-washing. The answer was yes). Turns out that baby spinach is not flavorful enough for this dish, so forget that tip.
Vegetable oil or nonstick spray, for oiling pan
1 pound feta cheese, rinsed in cool water, then crumbled (I should have crumbled it more; mine was diced)
12 ounces ricotta cheese, drained (the brand I got is just delicious: full fat is best
5 ounces (about 2 cups) finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano
5 large eggs, lightly beaten (I used 6 because they weren't very big, though they were called "large")
Freshly ground black pepper
1 to 2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh dill, or to taste. (I forgot to add this and sprinkled it on the top while it was baking the first time I made this, but used lots more.)
1. In a large skillet over low heat, heat olive oil. Add onions and sauté until soft and beginning to turn golden, 30 to 40 minutes. Transfer to a large mixing bowl.
2. Return pan to medium heat. Working in batches and adding oil 1 tablespoon at a time as needed, sauté spinach until wilted, then transfer to a bowl. Coarsely chop cooked spinach (I didn't chop; not necessary), then squeeze hard to remove as much excess liquid as possible (I did this as well as I could, hardly perfect: the extra egg seemed to take care of the excess liquid.).
3. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Lightly oil a shallow 9-by-13-inch baking dish and set aside. In a large bowl, combine feta, ricotta, Parmigiano-Reggiano, eggs and a generous amount of pepper. Mix well. Add spinach and onions and mix thoroughly. Add dill, and toss to blend. Spoon into baking dish, pat down evenly and drizzle lightly with olive oil.
4. Bake pie for 30 minutes. Raise heat to 350 degrees and bake until lightly firm in center and golden on top, about 20 more minutes. If top begins to brown too much (but do let it brown some), cover lightly with foil. To serve, allow pie to cool slightly before cutting into squares. It may also be served cool.
Yield: 6 to 8 servings. More like 12 servings for us.
Sophie layered her pan with philo sheets. I think this is a good addition: 2-3 sheets of oiled philo. Yum.
Frustrations again with Eudora, my email program, which Michigan U professors who invented have long since discontinued supporting. I am afraid ti will corrupt my whole computer. Dave will come soon and take care of email I hope.
Bill, the Visiting Nurse who takes care of physical therapy, gave me a long list of exercises to do and put me through the paces while he was here to show me how to do them. They will take a lot of my time, I can see. For one, he wants me to go up and down the stairs at least 3x in a row, and then another set later. There are all sorts of chair exercises, lifting the foot that hurts up and down, etc., and other strengthening exercises for quads, thighs, ankles, etc. I would like go get some small weights for my arms if he approves, though,lifting my weight with my arms on the wheelie does exercise my arms a bit. He'll be back on Monday. As I do more, the hip hurts more, but no pain no gain, as Jane Fonda said.
Sylvia came with lunch and Passover groceries and her good company. We will see more of her after Passover, now that she is leaving her most demanding job and taking it easier. Sophie sent via Brendan her good and easy version of spinach pie, which we had for supper—so no cooking today at all. Now she wants to make the spinach pie I raved about: I am not sure though that it is worth all the extra effort. Sophie says I didn't put it on my blog. it's below for anyone who wants it.
I am feeling ready to resubmit my essay for publication. I have more work to do on it, but it could stand as is, and with the need for it to go back to the readers for their approval of my responses to their comments, I think I will have time to add any results from the small amount of further research I am trying to do. I may submit it today. It's not easy to work solely on the Internet. How great it would be just to go to a good library and pick up what I need! But thank goodness for my wonderful librarian friends and for the Internet.
Poor Merwin. So much of the burden of daily life that I handled must fall on him in addition to all the work he already does for this household. He is getting worn out. But what a loving attendant he is. I try not to wake him at night when I get up for the bathroom, but if he hears me he is instantly at attention with a warm smile. What a trouper! Merwin, I do appreciate you, even when I get a little impatient.
Love to all,
Bernice
Sara’s Spinach Pie
The Temporary Vegetarian: Sara’s Spinach Pie (NYT October 14, 2009)
Time: 1 hour 45 minutes (ha! the making took me about 3 hrs. The baking will be another hour)
3 tablespoons olive oil, more as needed (much more, but oh well)
2 large yellow onions, finely chopped (I used one very big one and let the Cuisinart do the chopping)
Sea salt (I used the salt I had on hand) but leave this out; cheese is very salty.
2 pounds fresh spinach, washed and thoroughly dried (I bought pre-washed spinach; baby spinach would have been better; I checked the Internet to see if pre-washed is safe to use without re-washing. The answer was yes). Turns out that baby spinach is not flavorful enough for this dish, so forget that tip.
Vegetable oil or nonstick spray, for oiling pan
1 pound feta cheese, rinsed in cool water, then crumbled (I should have crumbled it more; mine was diced)
12 ounces ricotta cheese, drained (the brand I got is just delicious: full fat is best
5 ounces (about 2 cups) finely grated Parmigiano-Reggiano
5 large eggs, lightly beaten (I used 6 because they weren't very big, though they were called "large")
Freshly ground black pepper
1 to 2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh dill, or to taste. (I forgot to add this and sprinkled it on the top while it was baking the first time I made this, but used lots more.)
1. In a large skillet over low heat, heat olive oil. Add onions and sauté until soft and beginning to turn golden, 30 to 40 minutes. Transfer to a large mixing bowl.
2. Return pan to medium heat. Working in batches and adding oil 1 tablespoon at a time as needed, sauté spinach until wilted, then transfer to a bowl. Coarsely chop cooked spinach (I didn't chop; not necessary), then squeeze hard to remove as much excess liquid as possible (I did this as well as I could, hardly perfect: the extra egg seemed to take care of the excess liquid.).
3. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Lightly oil a shallow 9-by-13-inch baking dish and set aside. In a large bowl, combine feta, ricotta, Parmigiano-Reggiano, eggs and a generous amount of pepper. Mix well. Add spinach and onions and mix thoroughly. Add dill, and toss to blend. Spoon into baking dish, pat down evenly and drizzle lightly with olive oil.
4. Bake pie for 30 minutes. Raise heat to 350 degrees and bake until lightly firm in center and golden on top, about 20 more minutes. If top begins to brown too much (but do let it brown some), cover lightly with foil. To serve, allow pie to cool slightly before cutting into squares. It may also be served cool.
Yield: 6 to 8 servings. More like 12 servings for us.
Sophie layered her pan with philo sheets. I think this is a good addition: 2-3 sheets of oiled philo. Yum.
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