Woes continue

Dear Friends and Family,

I am finally feeling able to sit at the computer for a while. I very much want to go to my youngest son David's birthday celebration tonight. I think I can do it. The confluence of ill effects continues: because I didn't get the Lasix to begin with, my lungs have become a real problem. Talking is difficult. My O2 level is low (80). To top it off, Sonia is away and Margaret has a bad cold and could not help. Merwin does not have a lot of energy, which is a worry. Dave got us some take-out food, which is a help, and dear Ilona sent over some delicious soup and Kügel. But enough about me; I will get better: a little good luck now would help.

I heard from Jesús and Nick from Prague that everything went swimmingly. I am not surprised. It's thrilling that our hamletworks project and Pete's MIT projects will work together very well and that both got the international attention they deserve.

I can no more, dear friends and family. In the back of my mind is the sudden death of a 19-year-old cousin, shot in Los Angeles while she was sitting in a car. No more details yet. I have to think: why she? why not me? I am ready to go; I have already lived my life. She had so much more to live. We last saw her three years ago, at another cousin's 90th birthday party in Calfornia.

Love to all,
Bernice

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Lost days

My mother, Rifka (Rebecca), in her teens. It was her hair that caught my father's fancy. She was pretty proud of it. In her later life she had short hair, but full and thick.

Dear Friends and Family,

With some effort I am going to try to catch up. While Barry and Laury were here last Monday, I was feeling sicker and sicker. On Tuesday evening I landed in North Shore Hospital for a blood transfusion. This was one of the unlucky confluence of events. I had been on a high dose of HU to help shrink my spleen. My Dr. K was on vacation for two weeks, but Joanna, her PA, was there the 1st week, and told me to reduce the HU considerably. The next week, she was out giving birth to her baby, and I was unable to reach the backup physician. By Monday, evidently my hemoglobin had reached a critical low. On Tues. when she got my blood report, I got a call from Dr. K., who had returned at last, telling me to get to the hospital. I could not wait till the next day to go to the stand-alone blood facility. Bad choice, but Dr. K says I had o choice. I was in a crowded ER from 7 p.m. till 4 a.m., and sometime in that period got the first pint of blood. Then I was admitted to the hospital with all the attendant woes of that bureaucracy. I got my second pint of blood around 1 p.m. and had to wait till 7 p.m.before they released me. That's Wed. On Thursday I began feeling congested. My O2 level was low, breathing was difficult, and I could barely move. I was seeing Dr. K at 4 p.m. on Friday. In spite of feeling in a fog I managed to work on editing a splendid paper by Harvey. How did I do that? I must go on automatic.

On Friday at about 5 p.m., Dr. K. told me I had liquid in my lungs. The hospital had forgotten somehow to put me on Lasix. What a chain of events! So home again after a stop in the drug store. Sorely miss not having Sonia this past week. What a difference. I don't have the energy for cooking or much else. But I knew some of you would be worried and wanted to explain it all to you. Now to bed. I am sure I will be fine soon.

Love,
Bernice

Three girls

Althea, Ella, Lola, and Talia, respectively wife and three granddaughters of friend Elihu. How lucky he is to have these young granddaughters. I notice a predilection for “a” endings here, sweet Italianate sounds.


Dear Friends and Family,

We had a lovely weekend with Arthur and Debbie, interrupted by a day in NYC. They left this morning, Monday 11 July. I am not sure when we will see them again: it's difficult for them: the drive from New Hampshire is onerous, I am sure. We celebrated Arthur's birthday last night, with dinner at MP Taverna. We have now visited this restaurant 3 times, once for a late evening snack, another time for lunch (I wrote about that the other day) and now once for dinner. We liked it a lot, except for the loudness of the music. We'll be there yet again for son Dave's birthday next week. Are we overdoing it? During the whole time Merwin was undergoing radiation we hardly went to a restaurant, and in general we prefer to eat at home, since I like to cook. This morning we chatted at the breakfast table, and I wondered when we three (Merwin was at the JCC for his pool class) would meet again.

Today Laury and Barry came over to chat about Shakespeare in general, and about Macbeth in particular. I learned that Barry does not like the play very much and, even worse, Laury does not especially like the play! And she and I are collaborating on an essay about the play! I would not like to work on a play I don't like, for example, say, Timon of Athens. I do admire Macbeth. Like is hardly the operative word, however, for this bloody business. How do you out there feel about it?

For our chapter, Laury and I have to decide on a way to write about performances within the narrow space of 30,000 words. That may sound like a lot, but it isn't at all. Thanks to Barry we came up with a way to do it, so now we have three possibilities. His quotation of some lines from the play (he is fantastic: as an actor, he memorizes lines and he remembers them for years!) led me to think that perhaps we could consider specific lines, from the play's beginning to its end, and discuss how various productions have interpreted them. The advantage of this method is that we can write about many productions occasionally, rather than completely. We can, for example, start with the opening lines of the play, “When shall we three meet again . . .” and discuss the most interesting/ exciting/dumbest/whatever versions of the 6 lines.

Our job would be to select key lines, speeches or parts of speeches or dialogue, and show how those lines have been interpreted in performance. I am rather taken by this approach, but I don't think we will be able to tell if it will work until we choose the lines and the productions. Just writing about it now excites my interest.

Nick has been working steadily on his presentation of hamletworks.org for Prague, without even knowing if there were be technical support for a PowerPoint presentation! So he had to work on two versions, a paper he would read And the PowerPoint version, double work. Finally today the word came from Prague that there would be technical support. Of course, he has to lug his computer and connections, and I do hope he brings the paper as well as his PowerPoint version, just in case. He has to squeeze in an enormous amount of information in the 8 minutes allowed!

What is truly wonderful about the Prague conference is that Hardin will also be there and so will Pete, and they will be able to talk about our MIT connections. I have read Hardin's witty and interesting paper, mainly about the other half of our collaboration (that part I have now left), the New Variorum Hamlet project. Jesús will be there also. Basically the whole Shakespeare world will be there!

Do I wish I could also attend? Not really. I am very much aware that it would be too much for me, and I can take vicarious pleasure in the opportunities the conference offers for highlighting our wonderful projects.

Love to all,
Bernice

food and Friends!

Enlarge the upper photo by clicking on the image. The second photo is of the three guys, the other editors of hamletworks.org and now the editors without me of the New Variorum Hamlet. From the left Hardin, Eric and Nick. Merwin took this photo when we four last met in Glen Head for a summit meeting and we were joined here by Pete from MIT, who is helping our site merge with his. Nick is working strenuously on the connection, which will be brilliant. The photo on top is "The 9 Bernices" again, in case some of you don't remember it. Can you find 9? That's the room where we editors huddled for for the weekend, to make decisions that would move the project forward.

Dear Friends and Family,

Yesterday's meeting with the writing group was splendid, except for the absence of Kathryn, whose wit and verve were missed. Toby has driven all the way from Lenox, where she and her husband live during the summer, and when we broke up at 4 p.m she was driving back. I read some of the points from my review of the edition.All of us, even those who have retired, are interested in the process and perils of teaching.

We met first at Kiraku, the Japanese restaurant at the end of our “drive,” where all of us, except Joe, who met us later at my house, had a good lunch. I shared a glass of wine with Meta. I have given up my abstinence, and I like it. We all read. Dave had made me watermelon chunks, which I served and mostly ate myself. And I also put out the big Majoul dates I had on hand with nuts. I mostly ate those too. What an appetite! I have to be a little careful because though I seemed to be losing weight or just holding steady no matter what I ate, I have begun to put on a few pounds.

The National Endowment for the Humanities is asking for reports from those of us who received grants during the 1st decade of the century. Our team's last grant was issued in 2002 and lasted till 2007. As director of the grant, I wrote to the person who signed the request to ask if we could write more than the form allowed. We have accomplished so much, not only during the grant but also after. She has not responded yet. I want NEH to help us publicize our gains! We are happy to verify the value of the grant. I also wrote to my three fellow editors to ask if they could list all the benefits to themselves both during and after the grant period. I think NEH and NEA are under threat from the Republican Congress.

Nick has been doing a fantastic job as he prepares for his talk/presentation at the International Shakespeare Conference in Prague. Like me as I was preparing for my NYPL talk, he is constantly giving Jeffery, our splendid webmaster, ideas about additions/improvements to the site. Hardin sent me his talk about both projects, HW and NVH, for Prague, which is funny and informative. Nick sent me the talk he'll give if the equipment is not available for him to show the HW site in action. I am looking forward to reading it but do hope he gets his equipment.

I don't Tweet or friend on FaceBook, so I asked Dave to post my Tweet as widely as possible. I hope some of you will do the same. Obama now has a Tweet account, as you probably heard in the news yesterday.

Messages to and From Dave: He wrote: "I do repeatedly hear [your] point on all the liberal talk shows... but if you'd like I'll throw it up there for you."
My tweet: ""If lower taxes for the rich create jobs why the jobs problem now?"
Dave writes: "There are now 200,000,000 tweets per day... it's out there, with all the rest."

If the situation in Congress moves you, I hope you will write your own messages and spread them around. I am sure many of you do that already.

Today was wonderful. Sonia, as usual, pepped me up and perked me up. We went for a long walk, very hot for so early in the morning. She helped me make pesto from the big bunch of basil that I bought from Rotkamps Farm and put in a vase. Since the recipe calls for 2 cups of packed basil leaves, I think I have enough leaves left for another batch of pesto. My own little crop of basil in a pot on our deck I use for ad hoc basil needs, like tomato sandwiches.

The carpenters came to install Merwin's in-the-wall-air-conditioner. I finally persuaded him to move on this front. He is going to be much more comfortable when he rests in the afternoon. The workers put the dead air-conditioner at the curb, and moments later the recycling guys picked it up and threw it in their truck: it's recycling day today.

But the real joy of the day was meeting Barry, his wife Jessica, and her father Jack, whom they are visiting, at MP Taverna for lunch. Barry and Jessica live on the West Coast, but travel a lot: just yesterday they returned from Ireland, which they loved. While they are on the East Coast, actually about 2 villages Northeast of us at Jack's beautiful house, to attend a brother's wedding, we will get to see them again soon and often. Hooray!

How did I meet these wonderful people? Shakespeare of course. Barry, an actor, dramaturg, and passionate student of all things Shakespearean, somehow found my Three-Text Hamlet (edited with Paul Bertram), wrote to me about his admiration for it ("My favorite book"), and we met him when we went to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival where he was working. We wrote to each other, and he would tape his thoughts for me, discussing particular lines and choices from the three texts, etc. etc. Like all rich relationships, the one we have with each other cannot be summed up in a few words.

And then he met and married dear Jessica, his beautiful soul mate, who brought Barry to us in person via her father's home. And she enriched our lives through the love we feel for her.

Can you tell I am smiling all over my face?

Merwin made two appointments for me, one with the corneal expert and one for a CT scan of my head. So we will know more, but what we will do about the knowledge is yet to be determined. Oh my, the smile is gone. I better get back to Barry, Jessica and Jack. I haven't told you anything about him: he is a charmer, a film person, a maven, and a pleasure to be with. I wish we could see him between Barry and Jessica's visits to him, but thank goodness for small favors. OK, I am smiling again.

Love to all,
Bernice

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Still Smiling

Upper photo, from the left, Harvey, Debbie (Arthur's wife), and Arthur. After the wedding festivities, Harvey had remained in Boston for meetings, so he arranged to travel half way between his hotel and Arthur and Debbie's house, which is in NH. Next comes the Hydrangea, now in full bloom, and below that Arrowhead in bloom around the little pond, where I am glad to say the fish seem to be thriving.

Dear Friends and Family,

The fourth of July was a quiet day for us. We heard the fireworks and recollected the times we used to go, often with the Spector family, to eat a picnic supper at Morgan Beach and wait impatiently for dark for the glorious fireworks to begin. At that time, the displays were the work of a family that had been making them for years and years and were famous all over the world. Once there was a terrible accident at their Long Island plant. I don't know if it was rebuilt or not, or whether they stopped then, but now, I have heard, all the fireworks come from China and South Korea (I believe), though the displays are still choreographed here by Americans.

Tuesday is Sonia's day, and our habit is to take a walk. We went early to Tappen Beach, where the tide was low low low, but the Sycamore walk was shady. I persist in spite of fatigue: I have to push myself to make it to the point, where we sit for a while before returning to the car. There were lots of water birds, mostly ducks and geese and seagulls. Funny. We had seen none at high tide a few days before.

I submitted my voluminous review of the edition of Hamlet. I have a lot to say, so I wrote a humongous review, detailing every aspect that I thought was good, bad, or could be improved.

Laury visited in the afternoon. She has only a short respite between trimesters, and wants to accomplish as much as she can. She has now read the whole of my book on Macbeth in performace (and admires it, the dear), and will soon got to TOFT (Theater on Film and Tape) to see some productions to select those we want to write about. It's hard for me, because I have already written a lot about Macbeth (a whole book and many reviews): how can I find something fresh to say? I think it will be in the focus, on kinds of productions.

We didn't go to see a free movie. Nothing appealed to us. Has anyone seen Buck? That's one we could have seen.

Today the writing group meets for lunch at Kiraku and for a reading session here. What a joy.

Love to all.
Bernice

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Happy Memories

Celebrating Harvey's 58th birthday! For a few days, I am only 19 years older than he is; my birthday comes later in this month of birthdays! The occasions above are the activities engendered by Avital's wedding. I had hoped to go, but realized that I did not have the stamina for a trip to CT and then to Boston. So above, here are Sandy and Harvey on the 1st of July, with Matt, the charming significant other of Barbara (who is Sandy's wonderful sister), who was in Boston for business, I assume, and Laura, the oldest of the three girls by about 20 months. Below on the birthday itself, are Sandy and Harvey. Can you tell I am smiling all over my face?

Dear Friends and Family,

Energetic and efficient Margaret came today, in spite of having no baby-sitter for her two girls, about ten and six. She assured me they would sit quietly—and they did, in front of a TV and with a bag of toys they had brought. I heard the younger one tell her mother that when she grew up she would clean her mother's house for her. Margaret helped me make a great switch: the milk pots and pans went into the larger space that the meat pans had had. Some meat pans made their way to storage, and others are in the space where the milk pots were. I am leaving the silverware drawers as they were. Feels great to make this change. I gave Margaret some items I surely will not use and also some the clothes now lying on a bed. One was the outfit, still in pristine condition, which my dear mother-in-law made for me when Harvey had his Bar Mitzvah, just about 45 years ago to the day. Feels good and bad to let such things go.

I have finished with the review I have been working on for a press that wants comments on a ms it intends to publish. I am sure the press never expected such a thorough and opinionated assessment. I tried to tone down some of my assertions to suggestions, but the confidence, perhaps even arrogance, shows. I know a lot about Hamlet after more than 20 years working on it almost exclusively. Also, the text is meant for students, and since the active learning project was one of my passions while I was working at NCC, I am ever mindful of how a text can smother or encourage active engagement. I am so glad I can work at the big compter with my legs pointing down. This work brings me great pleasure.

My smile almost never leaves me.

I wrote that I would write more about Sarah if not about her parrot. I met her in 1999 at the first ever conference on Shakespeare on Screen, organized by and run mainly by our friend José Ramón. A brilliant event. I went alone. Imagine that! I could actually travel then. But once in Spain I had a mishap at the terminal on the way to the luggage pickup. I slipped on some wet terracotta and broke my head (this was the 2nd time). No one stopped to help me; no one spoke English. Finally, a colleague of JR's who was also working for the conference, found me and took me to the airport doctor, who shaved a bit of hair at the back of head (I had lots of hair then, so it did not show) gave me several stitches and a tetanus shot. The shot is what really bothered me for the next days, and I had to seek medication at a pharmacy where no one spoke English. I am telling you all this because in spite of this mishap and its lingering effects, I had a glorious time. I had been invited to give one of the daily keynote talks, and to a group of probably 500-1000 people I spoke about the excesses in Branagh's recent Hamlet film. In front of me, a friend and colleague was nodding his head up and down and smiling. But a scholar who had worked with Branagh on the film was in the audience also. Later, Diane, from MIT, praised me for demonstratimg bravery for criticizing the film with this man in the audience and said I was a good model for the many young scholars there.

One of the scholars was Sarah, who had written voluminously on Branagh's Hamlet, which she adored. She was very interested in my take on the film, and we bonded. Subsequently, she invited me to conferences in Rouen, where I presented various talks. That's where Michèle and Raymond live, and Merwin and I had opportunities to stay at their lovely home. Shakespeare has given me so much!

And to think, I took only one Shakespeare course (on the sonnets and other poems) in my graduate life: none as an undergraduate. I was completely self-taught as far as Shakespeare was concerned, but of course my teachers were the books I read and the film courses I taught.

What happy memories.

Our granddaughter Michelle spent the afternoon and evening with us. We did a few delightful things together. mostly talking, preparing food, looking over the clothes on the bed. And here it is 10 p.m. and I am not even tired, at least while I am sitting here.

Time to go to bed, though.

Love to all,
Bernice

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A blog for photos

I have so many photos to share now! Here are two that continue the Paris theme. At the top is Doolinou, the parrot, a dear companion to beautiful Sarah, a Parisian who is a Shakespearean, of course. We saw her for a meal in Paris 10 years ago when we were there after our week-long celebration in London of our 50th anniversary with our immediate family, 13 of us. Memorable! Of course we also saw her in Rouen, before and after at conferences. More about her tomorrow. Below is a photo of the Lavins, who have just returned from a month spent in Paris. You've seen this family before: they are so photogenic!


Dear Friends and Family,

A brief blog today (I think). Merwin and I had appointments with our eye doctor this morning. The news is pretty good for Merwin: he has cataracts, not terrible, but they can be removed. No hurry. The surgery has gotten better and better, easier and easier for the patient, Dr. Marks assures us. My vision has deteriorated markedly in the last six months. I was ready to chance cataract surgery on my right eye because reading has gotten more difficult. But it turns out that because I have Fuchs Dystrophy, my corneas are implicated as well. True, the cataract in my reading eye is huge, but removing it might not help my vision much. The Fuchs is also affecting the eye that had cataract surgery: the cornea is losing its spring. But I do not need my distance eye so desperately because I drive very little now (just to Tappen Beach for my walk with Sonia). Dr. Marks suggested that I see an expert in the field of corneal transplants, the head of ophthalmology at North Shore, who might tell me if surgery is a possibility. Dr. Marx would not attempt cornea replacement surgery. So I have to decide. My inclination is not to go for the follow-up. What's the point? I know I seem to go on and on like the bunny in that ad, but I know I am going downhill in many ways. How much longer can it be, Oh, Deity?

On the other hand, so many things give me pleasure in this life, limited as it is.

I have been enormously engaged by the review I am writing for a publisher of a Hamlet ms. It is leading me to make many comments. I have been going and going!

This was First Friday, lunch with friends at the Jolly Fisherman. I so look forward to these happy occasions when I get together with friends. Gladys, the raison d'etre of our gatherings, told a wonderful story published in a book about art dealers featuring her daughter, an art dealer, now deceased. I will tell you all some of this when I have the published version in hand.

I did better than usual, talked a blue streak without getting breathless (I think because my spleen in its new svelt shape (7 month pregnancy, as I have written) is no longer pressing against my lungs. And with the neurological problem solved by Gabapentin, I can sit for a long period with feet on the floor; the feet are still frozen (numb) but they give me no grief really. The numbness probably affects my balance somewhat.

Last night, Florence and David, neighbors of ours, stopped over for a short visit. They left this morning for their month-long rental in the Berkshires. They are both healthy; they both lead a wonderfully active life. I love hearing about all they are doing! I remember very well my active days, and the recollections give me a lot of pleasure. In my memory, I am THERE again, with dear friends, enjoying the sights & sites, and everything else.

Love to all,
Bernice