Busy couple of days ahead

This is our son Arthur, whose birthday is today, in 1972. Happy Birthday, Arthur! How he loved motorcycles and especially his motorcycle. How I tried my best to persuade him that he should give it up, but he ignored me, even after his cousin Paul had a serious accident, which was not at all his fault, and lost his spleen. The motorcycle is still part of Arthur's life, and I no longer ask about it.

Dear family and friends,

We spoke to Arthur earlier, who told us that Debbie had prepared a wonderful weekend for him. He called from a launch, which was just part of the festivities. We'll hear more about it on Sunday I expect.

Thinking of my wonderful children makes me smile.

On Wednesday, two of my friends and I met for lunch—along with our husbands. We three women have July birthdays and try to celebrate together once a year. Good thing in a way that the restaurant, Louis's on the sound in Port Washington, was noisy, because the three birthday women were laughing and even singing. Because our table was so big (meant for 8 or 10 instead of 6), we had to separate into two groups. Rudy is totally deaf and has trouble reading lips, but smiles a lot. Norman is also a bit deaf but hates to wear his hearing aid. Merwin is also a little bit hard of hearing. I won't say anything about Rosie and Bobbie. I have known them for some 55 years, and Rosie and Bobbie have known each other even longer. We don't see each other often because Bobbie and Norman spend most of the year in Florida, and Rosie and Rudie live in Connecticut. A fine time was had by all!

After a nap, we took off for the City, late enough so the heat had dissipated a little bit. Our apartment air-conditioner quickly cooled the air, and very soon we went to sleep to get ready for the morning at Mt. Sinai. Dr. M. is still on vacation, but Amy is back, and we saw her and Noel—both always a pleasure. The charm and kindness of all the people there makes the long visit more bearable than it would otherwise be.

I don't know why but I did not really pay attention to the results of the BMB (bone marrow biopsy) when the report came out, but I got the paper report on Tuesday. Not good. It's amazing to think of all that not-so-good stuff going on in my bones. But I am doing my best to live one day at a time (with plans for several days in advance also), to work, to play, to enjoy my family and friends, to read and to think. It's a very very good life. And I have no complaints. I am lucky that negative features of the condition are minimal annoyances for the most part: no need to list them here. I am actually feeling much better this year than I did a year ago.

Merwin and I experimented with another way to get to Mt. Sinai: we walked across Bryant Park by way of the path behind the NYPL, get on the #7 subway going east (which we usually take going west from Woodside to Bryant Park), transferred one stop later at Grand Central station, and then to the #6 Lexington Avenue local. All this was very fast because trains came before we had time to think. Then there as a hot walk from 103 and Lexington to 100 and Madison. And I had forgotten my cane in Glen Head! I don't know how I did that! So poor Merwin had to be my cane. As a result of the visit I almost got clearance to come back in three weeks, rather than one. But Merwin mentioned the numbness in my toes, and since that is not one of the known effects of CEP-701, I am to come in next week on Tues. when Dr. M will be back. I hope that after that I will have three weeks off.

After a rest and a snack, we went to Lincoln Center to see The Grand Manner by A. R. (Pete) Gurney, featuring a young prep school student from Buffalo named Pete who visits the great Katharine Cornell (Kate Burton), also originally from Buffalo, in the green room after her performance as Cleopatra fairly soon after WW II, and gets an autograph: then Pete tells us that he thought he could fashion a play out of this true encounter, and, with a shift in lighting, we then saw that play. It was too long by about 30 minutes though it was only 90 minutes long. Aspects of Pete's fabricated play were unbelievable. Still, we enjoyed it more because of Buffalo and Shakespeare associations than because of its inherent excellence. The acting was good, but the audience was unruly, with exits to and entrances from the lobby and shifts in seating now and then. The play was fun, though. We went to Lincoln Center by subway but returned by bus: there is one that we get at Lincoln Center and it drops us off at the NYPL on 5th Avenue. It's slower but there are no stairs to cope with. Back to #32 40th Street, and sleep, and then in the morning, after breakfast and some reading, back to #70, our other home.

I've just made a ratatouille for both of us, but Merwin prefers to have a poached egg tonight on a slice of the wonderful Challah bread we bought today on the way home, at Penn Station. Our house was nice and cool but not too cool. And so another NYC jaunt.

Have a wonderful weekend all;
Much love to Arthur and Debbie especially on this birthday weekend,
Bernice

Found out why I am smiling

Dear family and friends,

Merwin has been going wild with old slides and has sent many to me; I started putting them on my desktop but he quickly overwhelmed me. These were some early ones, Anton to the left and his mother and sister, Vaughan and Marisa, to the right. I have posted photos of the more recent images of this beautiful family—dear friends all—one lovely portrait of Vaughan with her three children, and you may remember Marisa's darling girls.

On p. 6 of the Science Times yesterday, Derek Isaacowitz, who happens to be our friends Toby and Elliott's son-in-law, married to their son Eric, wrote that folks over 55 were much more likely to focus on positive images than bad. Here's a quotation:

"More striking, Dr. Isaacowitz found in another study that older people were twice as likely as younger ones to be 'rapid regulators'—people whose mood bounced back quickly, sometimes within minutes, after ruminating on depressing memories."

I think I should not announce my plans on my blog, because only two of the items I mentioned actually happened: Elaine and I did meet for coffee and muffin at Gila's in the JCC, and during the short time I was there, I was happy to see a few people I know. I never did get to the weight room, however. Didn't get to the dentist either. And the Rabbi's tea with us will take place another day. I did go to my dermatologist and got the mixed message: the rash could be caused by the CEP-701. But she will try an antibiotic lotion first and if that doesn't clear it, then a biopsy is required to tell what's causing it. She didn't want to biopsy my face until she had to. I have another appointment in two weeks.

My appetite was enormous yesterday. I enjoyed every bite. I sometimes think it would be good to get into better control and get rid of these 15 prednisone pounds now that I am finished with it (hooray! I hope forever). But then I say, "What's the difference?" I never could lose weight without help. OA (Overeaters' Anonymous) did it for me for years, many years ago.

Onward to the busy day!
Love to all,
Bernice

Why am I smiling?

Dear friends and family,

With this knee problem continuing, a gash in my forearm (just a skin-scrape really, but very ugly) that spontaneously started bleeding this morning after being quiet all day yesterday, itching pretty uncomfortable, the pelvis, and all the rest, it does amaze me that I am smiling. Why? Because it's another beautiful, if excessively hot, day; because this morning I mailed my essay to SQ with comments to the editor; because I had a terrific work day with Laury yesterday; because, because. I guess because it's my nature: thank you, Mama. You were ever cheerful.

Today will be a blur. I will see the dentist about the tooth he tried to patch together: I don't think it's working. I will try to see the dermatologist about this rash on my face; she's a hard one to see on a moment's notice, but if I can get her opinion about my rash, I won't have to see the dermatologist, maybe, at Mt. Sinai on Thursday. Then there are the fun things: coffee with Elaine at the JCC where I will also try a few arm exercises in the weight room, and tea with Rabbi Lee, who is coming here at 3 p.m.

Lots to do before then! So I will make this a short one. Merwin is busy making slides into photos, and soon I should be able to put them up on the blog, one by one, or a few a a time.

Wishing everyone peace and serenity today and all days,
Love,
Bernice

Holiday or not?

Dear friends and family,

For many this is still the 4th of July weekend holiday, so Happy Last Day of the Weekend! It's the birthday of my beautiful friend Phe. We have known each other since our sons were in a coop nursery school together, where mothers did everything. My son Arthur will be 58 this Friday, so Phe and I have known each other and have been friends for 54 years! I am smiling thinking of our youth and enthusiasm, which we both retain in abundance.

Yesterday we had an impromptu lunch with Evelyn and Harris and then went to an Italian movie, "I am Love," but it could have been "I am Lust." Oh, my, what hokey sex scenes, with cross shots of flowers and insects, and it went on and on. I don't know. This just seems an excuse for filmmaking. Remember those 1930s films? The excessive details were not necessary, especially those views of his crack as he labored over her. But we had fun with our friends Harris and Evelyn, and doing something spontaneously is a good idea to get unstuck from the mud.

To my woes—face rash, pelvis—I have added a knee problem, same leg that the pelvis impacts, so maybe it's from favoring that side too much? Or exercising too vigorously? that is, comparatively. I'll check it out with Jack, the P.T. this morning. No holiday for him.

Love to all for best wishes on the rest of this holiday,
Bernice

Skipped a day!

Dear friends and family,

The best news of the day (yesterday) was a Skype call from Kathryn and Antonio in Italy. They don't have a camera, but Skype provides voice service from their computer. They saw me! It is so good to be able to be in touch with distant friends. And of course I have email from many people who are dear to me, including my faithful partner, Laury, who bears with all my failings (like the need for naps when she is ready to work).

Not much happening around here. Just the usual. The biggest news I guess is the effect CEP-701 seems to have on my sleep patterns. I sleep deeply, both naps and night. Last night I think I was asleep before 8 p.m.. Merwin came in and turned off the light, as he has been doing these last few days, and I didn't hear him or the explosion of fireworks in the neighborhood. I seem to dream, but cannot remember the dreams. I haven't slept this well or deeply in years!

I wish my pelvis would get better. There is still pain, and I still need the cane to get around outdoors. I don't feel steady enough on my feet to manage without it. But, OK, so I look like the old lady I am.

We went for a walk this morning before the weather got really hot; we feel so lucky that we have Tappen Beach and Hempstead Harbor within a few minutes of our home. Merwin walks fast ahead of me, and I walk slowly. Today I sat on a bench about half way down the Sycamore path and watched the water-scene, and he picked me up in the car. We saw loads of Canada (so-called) geese and one egret (why is it that the singleton is so special to us?), a woman kayaking, lots of dogs, a very happy one racing into the water after a ball, lots of walkers. I smile and say "Hello" to all I see, and feel very lucky to be there.

I have developed a rash on my face and will have to deal with it. If it's an effect of CEP-701, I may have to end the experiment. I know this because I sent an email to the Mt. Sinai team and my dear Doc. M. answered from Paris, with advice to see my dermatologist as soon as possible. Ha! I wonder if I can get in to see her tomorrow? If not, I will have to see the derm at Mt. Sinai: oh my. that would extend the visit for hours, no doubt.

I will go with the flow. Friends Harris and Evelyn phoned to ask us about lunch today and a movie this afternoon, and I said "Yes!" I have loads of work to do, but I also want to get out. The work will still be there tonight.

Love to all, and a Happy 4th of July!
Bernice

Happy Birthday, Harv!

Dear Friends and family,

Today has to be one of the most perfect days of the entire year: bright, clear, warm and welcoming—a perfect day for July 4th weekend, which starts today with our eldest son's birthday. We phoned him this morning to wish him a happy day and found that Sandy and their friends Ellen and Gary with whom they are spending the weekend had all forgotten the day—that's a real change for us; we're usually the ones who have to be reminded of birthdays.

First Friday means lunch for RSNS women at the Jolly Fisherman, where we all enjoy each other's company and the delicious food.

The rest of the day will be quiet, with perhaps an outing to Youngs Farm. Then back to Measure for Measure. We will be home all weekend, but will talk to all our sons, I suppose.

Happy 4th of July to all,
Bernice

Getting stronger

Above, Laury and Elyssa: can you tell they are mother and daughter?
To the left, Pete from MIT and the hamletworks.org team; we met here about a month ago to talk about the future of the site: from the left, Nick, Pete, Eric and Hardin with me in front. To the right, the three hamletworks.org teacm membeers on their way to the airport: Hardin, Eric and Nick. These are all dear people I know because of Shakespeare. Lucky me.

Dear friends and family,

It makes me smile to think of these friends and fellow workers in the Shakespeare vineyard. I am now as hooked on photographs as I was when I first had a little Brownie camera. And how I loved the instant photos I took with my Polaroid—to say nothing of the beautiful good camera my sister bought us to celebrate the birth of our first child, Harvey Jon, whose birthday is tomorrow. Then for years we did not have a camera. And did not miss it. People often sent us photos; Harvey is an incessant photo taker. And that seemed enough. But then my cousin Gert left her disposable camera when she was here. We completed the photos on that one, bought another, and now have ordered in lieu of airline tickets a fine camera with our frequent flier mileage. The photos above all come from the disposable cameras: not too bad. But just wait!

This morning when I got up I had a real urge to go to the gym at the JCC. But then I remembered that we had to go shopping early this morning (to avoid the crowds) and decided to wait till I could make a date to meet friends there.

Yesterday was a quiet day. Jack, the P.T., says I am much stronger now than I was two weeks ago. That's good news. But the discomfort is still very much there: when will it go away? Otherwise the day was very much as usual, a bit of work on this and that, a nap here and there, and email exchanges with friends. Careful watch of the symptoms that come with CEP-701.

I am thinking ahead to the completion of our edition of Measure for Measure to other little things I want to write for the Shakespeare Newsletter, all having to do with Hamlet.

A very lovely day today here. I hope it is that for all of you in every way,
Love,
Bernice