Memories

Dear Friends and family,

Memory is such a tricky thing. Merwin and I are always marveling at each other's special gifts and deficits. He can remember the names of all his grammar school teachers and all the students in his classes, at least through grammar school and often beyond. His father died when he was 4 years old, yet he has vivid memories of this loving man teaching him the names of constellations and autos, and then bragging to his friends when he had Merwin perform for them. My memory is spotty and more so now than ever. Merwin is amazed when I can come up with the words and tunes of songs I knew 60 years ago. We were watching a movie last night, and after the lead male sang the 1st line of an old song, I immediately and effortlessly sang the second line. Yet today I can't recall which song it was. Songs from old times come to me at odd moments, and I will enjoy singing the words I can recall.

My brain surgery has not improved my memory, but since Merwin's proximate memory sometimes fails him also, I understand that we both have deficits simply because of age (I hope) plus I have lapses because of the damaged brain. I never can tell what will surface and what will remain hidden from me, maybe forever. I am told fairly frequently now, "I told you that," or "We spoke about that." This is from children, usually.

I have to accept these reminders of my lapses along with everything else, and still there is a smile on my face because I still have so much. I am still admiring the trees, changing almost every day as they unfold their autumn beauty.

Merwin went shopping today, especially for bird seed but also for some other needed items, and I went along for the ride, remaining in the car. My outdoor life has been restricted by the slightly damaged foot (from a freezer packet falling on it), but clearly it is not broken, just sore. I expect to be OK on that front by tomorrow. Then perhaps I can return to my exercise program.

Though I am restricted in where I go, I rejoice in the many voices that speak to me through email. It would be great to hear from you.

Love to you all,
Bernice