Amazing grace

Hello everyone,

Energy was low these 24 hours or so in the City. So it amazes me that when I entered the Allen Room at the NYPL and saw a few volumes of TLS (The Times Literary Supplement) waiting for me on my shelf, I suddenly felt much better, ready to work. Well "work" is perhaps a misnomer; ready to enjoy the sometimes acid remarks scholars make about each other's work. It amuses me that someone who seems to have a solid reputation (even if somewhat kooky) as G. Wilson Knight should write to TLS to complain about being overlooked.
"Oh, so you felt that too!" I think to myself. Anyway, I spent a lovely hour in the room capturing some notes.

Afterward we went to Lincoln Center for a concert at Philharmonic. We have series tickets. I can't say too much about the concert. It was OK, but nothing to get me to stand and ovate. To save energy we went by cab, meeting our friend Naomi there. We followed up with a light supper (which turned out to be very ample) at Josephina's across from Lincoln Center. Then another cab ride to the LIRR, where we managed to make the train that was about to leave.

Here we are a little over 24 hours later, but it seems as if we have been gone for a couple of days at least. The change in place makes for a change in time perception. I am reading the warnings for thalidomide; besides warnings to pregnant women, the label lists all my symptoms: fatigue especially. Since there is only a 30% chance that it will reduce my spleen, and since it does nothing to prolong life, is it worth wasting the time I have with this miserable tiredness, so unpredictable, sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the evening, never allowing for plans? Or if I make plans, as we did today, I have to push through somehow in spite of being drawn irresistibly to the bed. I have started on the 2nd month of the 3-month trial.

There is a woman on the MPD list who strokes her big spleen daily, thanking it for all the hard work it is doing. And indeed we do not know everything the spleen accomplishes for those of us with MPDs. Maybe smaller is not always better.

Did I tell you about my suspenders, ordered through the Internet? They help to keep my jeans up now that I have no waistline. I am happy with them. Small favors help.

Love to all,
Bernice