Waking up with a smile

This is Catherine Deneuve in Potiche, a movie we saw last night In Roslyn with our free tickets. If you click on the photo it probably won't get much bigger because this comes from Imdb.

Dear friends and family,

I woke up with a smile on Monday, thinking of the Passover rolls I would make, and at the same time, taking advantage of the oven's heat, my mother's "doctored" gefülte fish—not as good as the real thing but better than what comes straight from the jar. Make a court bouillon with about 2 cups of water, a carrot, and good sized piece of onion, a celery stalk with leaves if possible, a spoonful of sugar and one of salt, plus pepper. Simmer the mix on top of the stove until the carrot is soft. In the meantime, empty a jar of the gefilte fish and rinse off the pieces to remove some of the salt. Place the six pieces in pie pan, pour court bouillon over it, and bake for an hour or more. Turn over the pieces when they are slightly brown on top. I baked them at 475, the temp for the rolls, and they actually took longer than the rolls to brown a little on both sides.

After the kitchen work, including making breakfast for Merwin at the same time, I was tired, but I am trying not to give in. I need to soldier on. My inability to rise from a seated position, especially late in the day, is more of a problem. Monday, I did a turn on the bicycle, something I want to do every day that Sonia is not here—and those days will be many, because Sonia gave notice yesterday. She will stay with me only till a week from tomorrow. She knows I still need help, but she has opportunities for better positions (more hours, more days) closer to her home. I am so sad. I look forward to her help with cooking and especially with my exercises, where she provides the resistance or whatever help I need for balance. I knew it could not last forever, but I am the kind of person who never wants to let people disappear from my life: I want to hold on to them.

Tuesday is the day we get free tickets to the movies. Merwin had picked out a movie after studying the online reviews, and, because parking was scarce, he dropped me off some way from the theater in Roslyn to get our tickets. But when I entered the theater and saw the listings, I was confused. I thought the movie he wanted was at 7:10 (later I learned he had said ten to seven, plus naming the movie). So I picked Potiche, a French movie, which was up a steep flight of stairs. Merwin's compressed lips showed his displeasure when he joined me, but he only wondered at my—shall we be kind and say "absent mindedness"? I explained that the attendant had said that Water for Elephants, his actual choice, had gotten bad reviews, but people exiting from it liked it and that people had liked Potiche, which had gotten good reviews.

It's a movie from 2010. We liked it a lot because it was fun to see the stars, Catherine Deneuve and Gérard Depardieu, both of whom we have seen from the beginning of their brilliant careers. The story itself was a bit unbelievable, but funny, with some interesting twists. When it was time to go, I struggled to stand. A woman next to Merwin asked if I needed help, but I said I would continue to try before asking for help. I did make it to my feet. After we exited, Merwin left me sitting on a bench while he got the car, a distance away, and then we went to an Italian restaurant to break the Passover "fast." He had pizza, and I had a wonderful pasta dish, of which I could eat about one quarter. No cooking today! When it was time to stand up, I was having trouble. A woman who had been sitting a few tables away from us (she was the last person there beside us) asked if I needed help. I said, "I think so," and she dashed right over, explaining that she was a doctor who worked with physical disabilities, and lifted me in one easy motion. Merwin, behind our table near the wall, had not been able to move fast enough to get to me. It is really wonderful—the kindness of strangers. This young doctor cooed over me like a mother, telling me I was beautiful! Being the font of such warmth and care, I still hope this new development is temporary and that more exercise will change the situation.

I have been having fun with hamletworks.org. I heard from AD, an eminent Shakespearean who had a query about the work of RC, an eminent theater practitioner and scholar, and eventually I had email correspondence with both. Neither knew about our website. Why is it so hard to get the word out? A big disappointment was a Shakespeare Quarterly review of sites specific to Hamlet, which did not mention our site. This is especially disturbing because Eric, one of our team members, is on the board of SQ. Surely he knew about this essay as it was making its way through the SQ process? Oh well, I cannot waste too much time on regrets, slights, and hurts. I want to keep that smile on my face. Anyway, the four-way conversation about the age of Hamlet that I had, with AD, RC, and my fellow editor Nick Clary, was very good for my spirits. And I heard from JR as well, who sent me the horrible pages that he had laboriously copied, from the Middleton so-called Macbeth, really poor stuff! But I feel obliged to know something about it for my work on Shakespeare's Macbeth. He is so good to do this for me. I get a lot of help from my friends.

Also, Harvey sent DVDs of my talk at the NYPL, and reluctantly I agreed to see it with Merwin. I knew that I had left out some important details. So we watched a bit and though, yes, I had missed saying some things I had wanted to say, it was really all right. When Harvey set up his video equipment, he was told that he had to promise to keep the result in the family. The NYPL has ownership of the talk, which they recorded on tape, I guess.

Also good was the fact that, with Sonia, I drove the couple of miles to our local beach, and she and I took the Sycamore walk, as Merwin and I call it. On one side we have Hempstead Harbor, on the other the trees, still bare of leaves. Lots of people like this walk, so we were sure to see a few dog walkers, strollers, and runners. I made it all the way to the end and more—up the street to show Sonia a great house that overlooks the water. Then we sat on a bench at the end for a while and watched the multitude of ducks, all in a row, and the gulls. It was low tide, a good time for pickings. Sonia is a great person to walk with, first because she is watchful, always within arm's length so she can help me if I need help, and more importantly because she enjoyed the walking there very much. It's nice when what Merwin and I like is also appreciated by others.

Planning a good day! Getting a bagel out of the freezer for Merwin for his snack.

Love,
Bernice