Moving right along

The top photo is of Jesús and me, shortly before Merwin took him to the airport, and the bottom photo is one Jesús wanted to take to show his son Pau because of the flat-screen TV, somewhat smaller than their new flat-screen. Note that there are no wires showing, and the box is tucked out of sight on a shelf—all this Dave's handiwork with Merwin's help. This 32" screen replaces our 10" TV, which we couldn't hear if moved away from the table. I am a news junky. On the table is a pan of baby bok choy, so delicious.

Dear Friends and Family,

Wednesday, life went on with lots to do. The main thing was providing meals, Merwin going for his first radiation treatment after a couple of preliminary sessions, working a little with Jesús who was steadily engaged in improving his Modernized Hamlet, and finally going with Laury to see a Macbeth at BAM. I am reviewing this play for The Shakespeare Newsletter, something that is going to be hard to do because I disliked it so much. But at least it helps me to see even more clearly why the TFANA version is so good. I hope to wrap up that review this weekend. But I also have to review my Who Hears essay for Laury's book.

Jesús certainly perseverates, but I think I helped him to simplify the display of his text on the site. Check it out. Go to The Enfolded Hamlet on hamletworks.org, pull down the display box, and you will see Modernized Hamlet. Open it. The numbers at the left are hot and will lead you to notes. A little T next to that number means that Jesús recommends that you look at those notes especially. What a great job he is doing.

The sad thing about going to BAM was that I needed so much help, but I find myself dealing with that pretty well. Laury drives me right to the door. She carries my pillow for me to sit on. She cossets and cares for me. I asked an usher to let me take his arm to get to my seat. If you have ever been to BAM's Harvey Theater, you will know how steep are the steps down into the orchestra, where there is no railing. A worse problem is that after sitting for 2 1/2 hours with no intermission, I could not lift myself off the seat. An usher came to help me. It's rather worrisome to be so weak. It happens only when I have sat for a long time. But I must do something about my strength.

Today, Sonia came. I missed her because I couldn't have her on Tuesday (the NYPL day). First we went for a very long walk, the longest yet. I bet it was 1/4 mile, maybe more, hilly too. Then mostly she helped me prepare stuff for our meals today. I made the potato leek gratin that I had expected to make for Jesús but just couldn't get enough energy to execute. I also made my mother's carrot, turnip and mayo salad. Sonia is so cute because she likes learning new dishes from me. She loved the salad.

Otherwise, a quiet day, mostly resting.

Love to all,
Bernice

Above is Jay Barksdale, the fantastic NYPL librarian who, among his other duties, shepherds the scholars and writers in the Wertheim and Allan study rooms, introducing me at the big event. He has been wonderful to me, amazingly helpful. Below I am energized talking about the website that means so much to me.

Dear Friends and Family,

I am coming down from a wonderful day. The best thing is that I met the challenge and had the energy to talk about the website and show everyone who was there what it is about. I have only done that once before, through Skype, when I was explaining to a grad student working for us what he needed to know.

I cannot count the friends who were in the audience because there were so many, maybe 30 of the almost 100 people in the audience, and many of our friends came back to our apartment, where we had sweets, cheeses, crackers and chips + wine and soda. The studio held everyone with some corners unoccupied. So it did not feel crowded; it just felt nice. It was warm and great. Harvey took a video of the whole hour of my talk, and he will give me a DVD next week when we are there for Passover.

When I woke up this morning and opened the shades, I saw that the Magnolia is still showing its flowers; the cold and pouring rain of yesterday and during the night have not blasted it. One April, we had a true freeze, and the flowers went. That was the year my father died, making April doubly the cruelest month.

I am going to close now because Jesús is in the kitchen, and he is leaving today. Tonight I will be going to see another Macbeth at BAM. I will write more in the next few days.

Love to all,
Bernice

The Life and Death of a Succulent Flower

Click on an image to enlarge and then click back arrow to return to blog.

Friends,

Dear Bernice is very occupied with preparation for her Tuesday talk as well with many literary deadlines so I have this opportunity to briefly take over her blog.

Bernice recently featured some pictures of a little succulent plant she received as a gift about five years ago and which has led a very passive and unassuming existence on our kitchen window sill ever since. I am not very systematic nor faithful in my plant watering duties but this plant survived my casual care nonetheless but never showed any signs of growth in its confined little pot. That is, until about three weeks ago when I noticed a fast growing stalk thrusting itself upwards covered with a spray of incipient flowers. My attention was riveted to this display and my thoughts were stimulated by musings of the marvelous variety in which plants propagate. Each day I watched with interest and pleasure to see just what kind of flower would emerge.

A great deal can be deduced from seeing a plant’s flowers. In the wild, I assume that our plant grows for years with a low profile, probably nestled among similar neighbors, and suddenly one Spring it thrusts this fast-growing stem high over its fellows and from this height beckons to potential pollinators. Plants can be termed generalists or specialists in the strategies they employ in using their flowers to distribute their pollen so it successfully reaches other flowers of their own species. The generalists include those carefree types depending on the wind to somehow find a mate (much to the displeasure of hay fever sufferers) and also the free-for-all types like magnolias and forsythias that hope that any insect or bird visiting their flowers will transport its pollen to an appropriate species mate. The most notable generalist pollinator is the bee, known for its proverbial industry and able to direct its hive members to literally blanket a stand of flowering plants. So efficient and necessary are bees to modern agriculture that beekeepers bring their hives to orchards and stands of trees such as the almond to assure successful pollination. Before man’s invention of agriculture and its intense concentration of identical flowers, bees never had it so good. In recent years Colony Collapse Disorder has destroyed large number of hives but there seems to be recent progress in finding a cure.

The specialists have formed a partnership to increase the odds of a successful pollen delivery. The evidence of our plant’s flowers is that it is such a specialist that has forged a very long-term relationship with a particular pollinator. Such relationships are formed over millions of years through the wonder of coevolution. The beaks of certain hummingbirds and the tongues of certain moths and butterflies exquisitely match the contours of the flowers they visit to obtain nectar. Such matches are often so extreme that the pollinator makes exclusive visits to the flowers of their partner. Darwin, who wrote about coevolution, once famously observed a flower during one of his travels in the tropics that had a very long, narrow passage to its nectar treasure and he stated that there was undoubtedly a single pollinator that visited this plant. Forty years later a moth was found whose long tongue exactly matched the flower’s entry tunnel. This arrangement has benefits for both partners. The lock and key match assures the plant that its pollen will be delivered to its own species and not be frittered away at foreign flowers. The pollinators can be assured of a plentiful nectar supply not available to its competitors.

These long lasting partnerships are generally very stable unless something extraordinary happens to one of the partners. A famous instance of the shattering of such a symbiotic relationship involves the destruction of every last Dodo bird on the island of Mauritus. This small isolated island is off the east coast of Madagascar which is, in turn, off the east coast of Africa. Mauritus was evidently isolated for millions of years during which unique plants and animals evolved. Sailors arrived and found the Dodo bird, a large wingless bird having never experienced any predator and therefore exhibited no fear. The birds were indiscriminately slaughtered for their meat. One hundred years after the Dodos’ extinction it was noticed that no young Calvaria trees (thanks for the name Google) could be found. This is a towering hardwood tree that was slowly going extinct until its relation to the Dodo was discovered. The tree produces very large, hard nuts that the Dodo swallowed and digested only the outer husk and left the seed to grow in its rich excrement. I knew the outlines of this sad episode and thought the tree had also gone extinct but helpful Google again directed to more recent information. The number of viable trees had shrunk to thirteen when wild turkeys were introduced that fulfilled the Dodo’s former mission.

But, back to our little plant. I can only speculate on the identity of the plant’s pollinator. The colorful flowers are probably an attractant to a small flying insect. My own nose detects no fragrance but that might be present to a more attuned and sensitive instrument. The drooping flowers have only a small opening that could permit either a long tongue of a moth or butterfly. Alternately, a troupe of small flying midges might be the desired visitors. Unfortunately, no hints will be forthcoming as its sits on the kitchen window sill.

I thought that the flowers might open but was surprised and saddened to see that the flowers near the base that had first developed, were now shrinking and withering. Look at the lower two flowers in the photo. Our poor little plant had made a valiant effort but has not fully realized it potential. It has given us pleasure.

May we all enjoy the glories of this Spring,

Merwin

I think I may have posted a photo of José Ramón and me before, when he visited us here, but I am thinking of him now. He sent me a beautiful PDF copy of Gary Taylor's notes on his Middleton Macbeth, which will come into play for the chapter Laury and I will be writing, and he wrote that he would soon mail a xerox of the entire Taylor version of the play. What a friend! Thank you, JR.

Dear Friends and Family,

I have already met two of my deadlines, well in advance. I sent in my response to the SQ edits and I sent in edits to Sarah and Nathalie for my chapter of their book on three TV Hamlets. Deadlines loom over me, but when I sit down to deal with the matter it never is as bad as it seems; it's more fun and takes less time than I imagine. I am still working on the TFANA Macbeth, but Laury and I might see it again, if she can get press tickets. She'll write about it for a different journal.

We heard from Dr.M. yesterday. He is bewildered about my bloods, but the good news is that there are no blasts (i.e. no sign of leukemia). He said he would confer with Dr. K, my local Dr. Earlier, I had a diagnosis of p. vera that had morphed into myelo fibrosis. Now it looks like some features of p. vera have returned, something he hasn't seen before. I will need another BMB (bone marrow biopsy), but he agreed I could wait until Thursday, after next week's big events.

I am sitting here swathed in the odor of camphor. Merwin and I both visited our skin doctor for the semi-annual check-up yesterday. She suggested Sarna as a skin cream. I used it this morning. It does have a cooling effect, which seems to help a bit.

Much of our time these last few days has been spent watching the news. Unbelievable doings in DC, with the Republicans bent on hurting the middle class and continuing to advance the agenda of the oil companies, big agriculture, etc. The myth is that helping the rich tickles down to the less rich, the middle class, and finally the poor; this “trickle” is what I call "piss on you." It didn't work last time and won't work this time. I am so mad at David Brooks: how can he blandly accept Ryan's massacre of the middle class? Yesterday's Times had facing columns, the one by Brooks and the other by Krugman, the Nobel Prize-winning economist who said Ryan's plan would be a disaster. It would tank the economy.

I wish I could march! Had the wherewithal to fund campaigns. Had the stamina to sit at a phone and make calls. All I can do is fume.

Lots of love to all in these difficult times for our country.
Bernice

Work is a joy

We are blessed with a plethora of blooms, and as if the multitude of miniature and full-size daffodils, magnolia buds, forsythia, outside, were not enough, we have this valiant this cactus that sits on the kitchen window, thrusting out this flowering branch for the first time since Lore gave it to us many years ago. A good sign.

Dear Friends and Family,

Dr. Mascarhenhas thinks that my passion for work is what is keeping me going. Turns out I was not supposed to see him at all, and I arrived at 5:30 p.m. (for the appointment given to me by the hospital's appointment secretary) after a long clinic day for him. But he and Amy were happy to see us nevertheless. The trial has been delayed, so there was no contract to sign. And looking at my crazy numbers he wasn't sure what he could do for me. But he promised he would do something. He wanted more blood than the usual pre-doctor intake I get there, so his nurse drew 5 whole additional vials. He planned to come back from a meeting he had to attend to look at the bloods in his microscope to try and figure out what's happening. Ah me. At least the low sugar that showed up on Monday when I went for the phlebotomy turned out to be a false alarm. My sugar was fine yesterday.

The amazing thing is that I had worked as much as I could all day and was really tired on the drive to Mt. Sinai, but being there, being encouraged by the interest Dr. M has in me, the pleasure (yes) of the whole experience, I revived. We drove to our apartment, where Ricardo, teh doorman, has saved a parking spot for us right in front of the building (allowed after 7 p.m.), and we bought some chocolates next door for next Tues., tidied up the apartment a little, dusted a little, then walked around to 39th street to go to the fancy kosher restaurant, where I did fine. No pain from neuropathy at all. Rick, my other son, had brought in a case of Trader Joe wine, 6 reds, 6 whites. What a dear.

It's a good thing work is piling up, if work is what is keeping me going. I continue to read through the SQ edits of "At Sea," which mostly convert my style to their style, tightening the prose. But sometimes they have a problem understanding what I mean. The essay is a bit sly, because I don't want to reveal all I know in the present; I want to unfold it as I discovered each aspect. OK, that's going well, and I should meet the deadline of 11 April. Then there is the Macbeth review to finish; Laury thinks it's good to go with additions about the acting. Ideas float around in my mind. I want to finish it before I see another Macbeth next week, at BAM. But then what should come in but a chapter I wrote a couple of years ago about 3 Hallmark Hamlets on TV, and the editors, dear friends, Sarah and Nathalie, want the chapters reviewed and edited by the 15th! Authors can't change much, because the book is all laid out already, but we are just meant to see if there are any little glitches. Then Laury sent the chapter I wrote for her wonderful book, but she assures me I have plenty of time, later in the month, to go over her edits. Oh my! lots to keep me happy, but maybe a tiny bit less stress over deadlines would be good. Then I can get back to my regular work on hamletworks.org.

Looking forward to next Tuesday is an especial joy. I expect to see some of you there, and do come to the apartment to join in the congratulations or commiserations, #32 W. 40th Street, a building with two small green awnings, opposite the path between the NYPL and Bryant Park. Whatever. The talk has given me a lot of opportunities to work with the site, and I am very proud of what we have done with it.

Love to you all,
Bernice

Better days

This is our son Lincoln in one of his many guises. An offshoot of his continuing interest in science fiction and science fiction conventions (where he is an officer) is his passion for dressing up as a member of the Furry Kingdom and participanting in their conventions, parades, visits to nursing homes, etc. He enjoys building his own costumes and travels all over the world to go to conventions. He goes geocaching wherever he travels. Oh, and he is a volunteer EMT and a highly successful engineer. Are we proud? You bet we are.

Dear Friends and Family,

These have been a couple of very good days. What is thrilling to me is that I have been able to push against fatigue and accomplish quite a bit. Laury is a big help in that respect. She wanted to come over with her notes on the TFANA Macbeth, so I worked (and then napped) till her arrival on Saturday afternoon. She thinks my review is good to go with some additions. I did not write much about the actors who played the main roles, and I am afraid I have to say something negative, which I hate to do when I like a production, about Lady Macduff/gentlewoman.

Then on Sunday, we went to a wonderful party celebrating our friends' Meta and Bob's anniversary and her birthday. The food was terrific, and I was able to eat solid food at last! Bob and his friends played a few jazz pieces for us, and that was a special treat. We haven't been able to go to any of Bob's concerts for a long time—too far away, too late in the day. A lot of my friends were there and two babies, and that was fun.

So of course when I got home it was straight to bed. But when I got up I spent a good few hours on the editing of "At Sea." It's going well, and I think I can meet the due date without any trouble. There will be a second edit in about a month, I think. And I am feeling more comfortable about my talk at the NYPL. I have no idea how long it will take and must collar someone who will hear me practice. I have about an hour. And then a party afterward in our pied-à-terre! Wow, what good things to look forward to.

The other things, the phlebotomy I need today, the interview about the new drug trial tomorrow, Merwin's beginning of radiation—all these medical issues we just bear. We are so lucky to have each other—and all of you.

Love,
Bernice

Tooth miseries

The Writing Group, all except Jay. Hedda, Barbara, Golden Kathryn, Meta, me, Toby, Joe, Anna. What delightful folks, what dear friends.

Dear Friends and family,

The last couple of days have been mostly wasted by the tooth extraction. It went well at first, but then not surprisingly, certain features of the recovery were affected by my blood condition. I had to return to the dentist on Thursday and then again today, I hope for the last time. This time, the dentist stitched the wound. Enough of that.

In spite of the visit to the dentist this morning, I went to our monthly First Friday lunch at the Jolly Fisherman. Ilona picked me up, and we had a lovely group of 7. By eating soft foods, I did all right. The nueropathy has certainly diminished. I was able to sit at the table the whole time without having to walk or stretch: this is a first. But afterward, all I wanted to do was sleep, and I have been a lay-about most of the day. I have so much to do! But it will have to wait till I feel better.

Did I mention that Merwin bought a 32" TV for the kitchen to replace the 10" one we had? This has been a father-son activity, with Dave providing the muscle and most of the know-how. It's good to see them working together. Of course, nothing goes smoothly, so the bracket they purchased to put it on the wall did not work and Dave had to fabricate one from scratch. Now we can see and hear the horrible news while we are moving around the kitchen.

Much love to all,
Bernice